The part that followed the previous one in the light novel and anime series dealt with Emilia being summoned to the capital to present herself as a royal candidate, and then the protagonist screwing up like the dumb fuck he is. It’s my least favorite part of Re:Zero, which is one of my favorite Japanese series. Roleplaying through that part became longer than I expected, and at times more serious and sober than what usually comes out of my diseased brain. However, I remained very impressed with the narrative opportunities that the GPT-3 algorithm produced, as well as many dialogues it came up with on the fly and that fit perfectly. GPT-3 seems to understand cause and effect to a significant extent, as well as have in mind plenty of backstory, both from what you have added to the world story as well as from what has happened before. It’s a delight. It makes going through this sessions as if you were playing a videogame.

Rereading these past parts once that I’ve written the ninth, this is the one in which the entire thing goes off the rails, exactly how I like them. Lunacy from now on.

I want to mention it in every part: this was produced with the help of a cutting-edge AI called GPT-3 and used in the subscription service of AI Dungeon.

• Previous part (2)
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This segment of the story became too long, so I’ll split it into two.

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When the dragon carriage that carries the group to the capital arrives at the bustling city, it drives immediately through the heavy traffic into a mansion that the wealthy lord Roswaal has rented for the occasion. It’s a luxurious mansion in itself. It’s going to work as the center of operations while the group remains in the capital. After Ram and Rem have unloaded the luggage, Emilia seems eager to walk around the capital and enjoy the sights.
“Emilia, you can’t go out there like that. Wear this, it’s a robe of the royal family. It should help you avoid attention.”
“Oh. Thanks, Roswaal”, Emilia says as she puts on the robe.
You immediately notice how much more modest the robe is compared to her previous clothing. However, the robe is also more revealing than her usual clothes, showing quite a bit of her cleavage. You can’t help but glancing sometimes at her beautiful, silky-looking pale skin.
“Lord Roswaal, will you allow me to act as Emilia’s bodyguard as we walk through the capital, enjoy the sights, eat ice cream and stuff like that?”
“Of course. I insist on it, in fact”, Lord Roswaal says.
Soon, you and Emilia head out of the mansion and into the capital. The first place you go is an ice cream parlor, where a long line of citizens and some nobles are waiting to get their ice creams.
“What flavor of ice cream would you, a silver-haired half-elf, prefer, Emilia?”, you ask her.
Before she can answer you, a familiar voice shouts “Hey! It’s the half-breed, silver-haired bitch!”
You look, and you see a group of teenagers, about your age. The group consists of three guys and two girls, all of them are wearing expensive clothing. One of the boys shouts “Let’s smash her face in!”
You feel your blood boil in anger. You look at the group of teenagers and consider pummelling their faces, but you suspect that the guards would throw you in jail for it. You leave the line to get ice cream while holding on to Emilia’s arm, and walk briskly to another street.
“Forget about them”, you say.
You and Emilia head to a nearby park. You find a nice, secluded spot in the park where you sit on the grass and watch the trees rustle in the gentle wind.
“This is a nice place”, Emilia says.
“Yeah”, you respond. You are fearful of asking the following question. “Emilia, how often do people harass you like this?”
“Frequently”, she responds in a low voice, “Whenever I go to the market, or the capital, or just about any place. People call me… ah, let’s not talk about it, OK?”
“Alright then”, you respond. You feel pretty bad for asking.
“You seem pretty calm about entire kingdoms being ready to turn against you”, she says, “Aren’t you afraid? Don’t you worry about it?”
“Of course I’m afraid. I just don’t show it”, you say, “I have to be tough so I can get through this life.”
“You seem pretty tough already”, she says, with a warm smile.
You turn a deep shade of red, and look away.
“Just to clear the situation, though. You are not actually Satella, the Witch of Envy, right?”
“No”, she answers, “I’m not. She was the scum of the earth.”, she responds, “She killed millions and enjoyed every moment, or so it is said. And I have the misfortune of looking like her.”
“Do you regret being a half-elf?”
“Everyone has their bad parts and poor luck in life”, she says, “I was born like this. What’s done is done. I can’t change what I am.”
You nod, as you understand her plight.
“Well, I think you are like the cutest girl in this entire fantasy world.”
“Ah, I loathe these things. I don’t feel beautiful at all”, she says, “I just feel like I’m about to vomit with how stuffy these balls get.”
“What’s a ball?” You ask.
“You mean you don’t have them?”
You raise your hands in between you both.
“That better be a joke.”
“Nope, I’m serious. Would you like to get married sometime this week?”
You go completely silent.
“Hey, since we’re both here, how about it? This is your only chance, you know.”, she says.
“You suggesting you have balls is something I would have never expected coming out of your mouth. I’m frankly too disturbed to continue with this conversation”, you say in a broken voice.
“Fine, be like that”, she says.
She turns away from you. You feel awful for upsetting her.
“Hey, wait.”, you say, trying to mend your ways. You take her hand in yours. “Please don’t be like that.”
You give her a smile. She seems a bit happier.
“Anyway, Subaru, there was something I’m obligated to do. I need to visit the royal guard base in order to meet with the captain of the Knights of Lugunica. I’m afraid you can’t follow me, as it’s an official matter. Royal stuff. It would bore you as well”, Emilia says with a sigh.
“I guess I can entertain myself for a bit. See you back at Roswaal’s rented mansion, then?”
“Yeah, we’ll do that.”
Emilia walks off into the distance.

You walk around the city a bit, waving to the people of the Royal City. Occasionally, an image of two pale, silky, brushed balls hanging in Emilia’s crotch flares up in your brain, and you feel as if you are going to lose your mind.
As you stagger around shaking your head, you overhear a commotion in a nearby alleyway. Some men are yelling harshly to a woman, although the woman answers them with a stern, superior tone of voice. You peek into the alleyway to see what’s going on.
You recognize the same thugs that had beaten you half to death. They are harassing a woman dressed with the most expensive clothes you can imagine, and that show her large, firm breasts. The woman is also extremely beautiful, but has a predatory air to her. Her orange hair reflects the sunlight as if brushed. The thugs demand her to hand over her valuables.
“If you do not comply, we’ll take it by force.”, says one of the thugs.
The woman simply raises an eyebrow at the threat.
“Try me.”
The man clenches his fists, and gets ready to charge at her…
They never had a chance. With inhuman speed and reflexes, the woman had disabled all the thugs.
As the thugs lie around in the floor, injured, the beautiful woman looks up at you and asks you, “And who might you be, and why are you staring at me?”.
“I’m… just… this group of men were beating me up earlier, and then I saw them about to do the same to you, so… I…”
The woman approaches you slowly, and you can feel her predatory eyes examining your body. Her orange hair flows down her shoulders in a way which would make any man drool over it. Her lips are perfectly shaped, with a cute nose to match. Then, she speaks.
“I see. You wish to save the world, young one?”
“Huh?”
“You wish to save the world, don’t you? That’s why you wanted to stop those men from harassing me, isn’t it?”
“Uh… well… yes…”
The woman smiles. Her smile lights up her whole face, and for a moment you’re speechless. She puts a gilded coin in your hand, then passes by you without looking back, but before she turns the corner she tells you, “Don’t ever look at your superiors with such familiarity, you lowly scum.”.
You don’t know how to react, but you soon hear a cry of pain and turn around. You see that one of the thugs has risen and is charging at you with a knife!
With the speed you gain from your heritage, you easily dodge his clumsy strike, and trip him with your leg. The thug falls, and you knee him on his head. He yells in agony, but then he laughs and tells his friends to attack you from behind. They do so, and after a short scuffle in which you prove yourself to be faster and more resourceful than them, they all lie defeated on the floor.
You make a quick exit from the alleyway, hardly believing what just happened. “I have no idea if being employed by lord Roswaal”, you tell ourself, “or surrounded by those strong servants, has rubbed off on me, but in any case I ain’t complaining.”
You make your way back to the mansion.
You arrive at the door, and knock. “It is I”, you say. The little cat-like being opens the door for you, but seems a bit surprised, probably because of the blood on your clothes. He doesn’t say anything though and lets you in.
Emilia gives you a hug as soon as you enter, relieved that you are not hurt.
“What happened to you, Subaru? Did you get attacked?”, Emilia asks in a pained and worried voice.
“Well, yes. Some thugs attacked me in an alleyway, but somehow I defeated them all.”
“Somehow”?”
“Yeah, I don’t even know how it happened either. I mean, I was calm and collected the whole time. I only got scared after it was over.”
“Ha ha ha, yer scared of a buncha street thugs?”
“Yeah, I know it’s pathetic.”
“I’m not saying it’s pathetic! It’s just… surprising. You’re usually very self confident and carefree. To hear you say you’re scared of something is a bit strange.”
“You think?”
“Yeah. But anyway, as long as you’re alright. Right then, I’m heading to bed now. The only people left in the mansion are our lord Roswaal, our dear servants Ram and Rem, and my dearest Puck. Nobody will bother us for the rest of the day, so we can rest easy tonight.”
After Emilia goes to bed, you stay in the balcony looking as the sun sets. Shortly after you are joined by the demon servant Rem, who pats you on the back.
“How are you doing, Rem?”, you ask her. “I mean, with being a servant, having travelled to the city, doing chores and stuff.”
“I’m doing alright I suppose… Though I sometimes miss the forest. How about you, Natsuki Subaru? How are you feeling?”
“I feel a lot more relaxed now that I’ve gotten most of the story out.”
She gives a sort of bitter smile as she sits down next to you. After a short period of silence, she begins to speak again.
“Here’s your dinner, Natsuki-san.”
“Why don’t you eat dinner with me, Rem? The night is beautiful, and you must be tired from working constantly as the lord’s servant.”
“I… do not wish to be a bother.”
“You’re not a bother, if anything I’m asking because I’d prefer some company for once.”
She gives a small nod as she continues to smile.
“Very well then, let us enjoy the calm air of this summer night.”
After you both have eaten dinner, you both sit on the balcony and talk about various things. At one point you point out a few stars to her, which are out that night.
“My name, Subaru, is actually the name of some star that you could see back on Earth, where I come from. My mother loved stars. It’s sad to know that I’m never going to see those stars again… And neither will I see my parents again, I suppose.”
“That’s very lonely, Natsuki-san.”
“Yeah, well… That’s life I guess. Soon you’ll be feeling the same thing, Rem.”
She looks down a bit as she begins to tear up and change the subject.
You place your hand on hers, to give her some comfort.
“Loneliness is universal, works across universes and dimensions. Tell me about your loneliness, Rem. Supporting one another in the deepest truth of our existence as perishable beings is the only way we can remain sane.”
“I… I am unsure of where to start.”
“How about when you first came to this mansion?”
Rem thinks back to her first day here. She remembers everything in vivid detail, as if it all just happened.
This was probably the happiest day of her life.
She was a fifteen year old girl with blue hair and green eyes.
“What do you thought about the perspective of working at lord Roswaal’s mansion?”, you ask her with curiosity.
She smiles, and happily replies.
“I was really excited! I was chosen from so many other people to work for the most respected person in the kingdom!”
You laugh a little, as you continue to listen to Rem’s story.
“Lord Roswaal is quite the strange fellow, huh?”
“He’s quite a strange man, that lord Roswaal. One moment he’s nice and giving orders as usual, the next he’s shouting at us about how the silverware isn’t shining enough.”
“It really isn’t?”, you reply with a chuckle.
“Of course it isn’t! How could it? We have servants to clean them, not to shine them! It’s silverware! How can it shine if it touches the light of day?”
“Well, I’ve seen you work, and you are the best servant I can imagine. You vastly outperform your sister Ram.”
“She was promoted to a position that doesn’t require actual cleaning. Sort of a medium between the workers and master.”
“I see… I suppose that makes sense.”
Rem continues.
“So, what about you? What do you think about your new job?”
However, before you can answer, you here a strange voice from the door.
You turn towards the voice and ask, “who is it?”.
The person at the door says, “it’s me, Ram”.
You ask her to join you at the dining table for a chat under the moonlight. Ram agrees without producing a smile on her lips. The pair of you sit across the table, and as you do so, you wonder about what the label of hornless that they had applied to Ram, who is a demon, actually means, but you imagine that it is a touchy subject.
“How are you dealing with this trip to the capital, senior servant Ram? It must have been pretty hectic for you”, you say.
As you ask your question, Ram stares at you with a glum look on her face. She replies, “I’m doing alright”.
You wait for her to elaborate and when she doesn’t you say, “have I said something wrong?”.
Rem shakes her head and says, “no, but Ram just isn’t really someone who’d go on about her feelings or problems”.
“You are just wonderful the way you are, Ram. Wouldn’t change you for anything.”
You say this with all honesty, but you’re a little worried about whether that was the right answer or not. You decide to change the topic.
“What do you both think about Emilia’s candidacy for the throne of the Kingdom of Lugunica?”
“I can’t wait ’till she wins.”, Ram says with a smile.
“Have you even voted, senior servant Ram?”, you ask.
“I don’t need to. She’s already won in my heart.”
You look at Rem, who smiles. You want to kiss her right then and there, but that would probably be going too far, so you decide to stop looking at her for now.
“Well, it’s about time we all go to bed. Emilia has to attend to her royal summons tomorrow morning, and we need to hope that everything will go just fine.”
As you say this with a sigh, Rem sighs as well.
“I know, but I’m going to be very worried about her.”
You pat her on the back gently and reassure her that Emilia will most definitely survive tomorrow. When you get to your bed and you look at the strange ceiling in the dark, you think about everything that has happened since you came to this fantasy world. You think about the people you’ve met, and the dangers you’ve faced. Did you have a life before the one you are living in this new world, you wonder. You try to fall asleep as tears pour from your eyes.

Early next morning, you look at Roswaal and Emilia as they prepare in the hall to leave for the royal summons at the palace. Emilia seems very anxious, but Roswaal keeps a plated smile on his clownish face.
“Everything will be just fine, my princess!”, he says with a smile.
“I know, but I’m still very anxious about this! How do I even expect to convince the elders?”, Emilia says with a thin voice.
Although you are nervous and dread asking, you step forward and, while standing straight, you ask Emilia whether you can accompany her to the royal palace.
When you ask this, both you and Emilia are surprised. She has an expression of shock on her face, while you have one of surprise.
“I’m certain that I can protect her if something were to happen!”
Ram clears her throat.
“I recall you pissing yourself when we confronted the monster. Do you want to make a puddle in the royal carpet?”
“I, I can do it! It wasn’t even that scary…”
You shut up as you realize you are just digging a deeper grave for yourself.
“Safety should always come first. I’m sorry but that’s how it is.”, Emilia states, still with her thin voice.
“I understand…”
You bow your head down in disappointment as you realize that you are not going with them to the palace.
Emilia remains in place, with nervousness glistening in her eyes. She keeps staring at you as if you had just presented her another problem. “Please, Subaru, promise me that you aren’t going to appear in the royal palace as Roswaal and I are attending the royal summons.”
“Yeah… sure”, you reply while sweating nervously. You wanted to go…
“Thank you.”
You nod in agreement as she states her disapproval of not attending. She begins to walk forward to exit the house, but as she does her eyes widen, and a small scream escapes her mouth. You notice and your eyes widen when you see a white cat with a single horn standing on its head. It has a small frown on its face, and it’s glaring at you.
“What the hell is your problem, Puck? Why are you glaring at me like that?”
“Maybe you should ask your girlfriend that, I know she’s been lying to you for quite some time now.”
You aren’t sure what Puck means, but you clench your fists tight as anger towards the magical cat grows in you.
“And how will you protect Emilia, Puck?”, you say with a harsh voice. “Where were you when her medallion got stolen? Where were you when we retrieved it from Felt? It seems to me that you aren’t capable of much at all.”
Puck’s frown grows deeper. His eyes narrow, and an aura of blue begins to seep out of him. You feel the color drain from your face as you know his next words are going to be very insulting.
“You dare question me… the great spirit Puck? The same being that blessed merriment and jolliness upon this world? I can crush you with only one breath, but I shall contain myself only because it would make Emilia cry!”
“You were always a punk, Puck. Ever since the day I met you.”
“Do you think Emilia is your soul mate? The two of you are so different. You laugh, she cries. You feel pain, she feels pleasure. Emilia needs someone to bring joy into her life, not sadness. You are not that someone.”
“Oh, and you are, Puck? You are magical flying cat. You aren’t even a person. How is she expected to relate to you?”, you retort.
“I am a person! I’m just a person… with fur, and a tail, and magical abilities! I’ve known Emilia since she was young, and we’ve been through thick and thin together.”
Lord Roswaal intercedes raising his arm. Although he intends to stop the fight, a smile remains on his clownish face.
“As far as I’m concerned you both are punks right now. You are troubling our dear Emilia. We have a royal summons to attend.”
You don’t dare look at Emilia’s eyes as both her and Roswaal exit the mansion. Why did you have to trouble her by confronting Puck at that moment? You aren’t sure of much beyond that you wish to be by Emilia’s side. Maybe it was pure jealousy. You want to figure out how to sneak into the royal palace somehow.
Rem looks as if she wants to tell you something. She opens her mouth. After her eyebrows tremble, she closes her mouth again. Her sister Ram simply sighs and wanders off to another room. You feel a gloom overwhelming you.

You serve yourself a drink and you wait for both servants to get out of sight, and then you finish your drink and leave for the royal palace. Perhaps you can sneak in as a servant or something like that.
You are not very acquainted with the city of Lugunica, but you don’t have much trouble locating the royal palace, as many people are talking about the royal summons openly, and there’s a heavy flow of dragon carriages, many of which are luxurious, towards the same area of the capital. You follow that flow of traffic towards the royal palace. By the time you arrive there, you see that there’s a long queue awaiting entrance into the palace. You join the queue and wait.
Half an hour passes and you have made little progress in the queue. Some royal guards begin yelling at people in front of them to move faster, but it’s fairly clear that you won’t be getting inside today. As you turn to leave, you bump into a girl your age with bright red hair.
You catch yourself from falling and look at her face. You’ve never seen her before, but you find her striking. She’s not wearing a royal robe like the others in the queue, so she’s obviously not nobility.
“Sorry!” you say out of reflex.
The redhead looks at you. Her green eyes seem to look right through you.
“It’s fine,” she replies. “I’m not in any rush. I’m waiting for someone anyway.”
“Oh, okay then,” you say. “Well, see you later I guess.”
You move to leave, but she stops you.
“Hey, are you here to see the royal summons too?” she asks.
“Ah… yeah,” you reply. “I was trying to get into the palace…”
“Yeah, it’s a mess right now. There’s a lot of people in front of the palace gates.”
“I can see that. How do you figure that you were going to enter anyway? You don’t seem like nobility”, you tell her.
“Well, I’m probably distantly related to the royal family. I’ve been in the queue for several hours now.”
“Why would they let you in if you’re only distantly related? Wouldn’t they only let in those with proven royal lineage?”
“They might let me in just to get rid of me. Did you try to get in via the front?”
You pause, not really wanting to admit that you were sidetracked by the pretty girl.
“Never mind, you wouldn’t have gotten in anyway. You should have gone straight to the palace gates. Anyway, my name is Felt.”
“I’m…”
You stop talking with your mouth open. You hadn’t made the connection given that you only saw this girl once, but before you is the same girl who some time ago had stolen Emilia’s medallion. Maybe Felt is wearing a wig, or she has dyed her hair. Felt contemplates your confusion for a bit, before she offers you a smirk, and then her attention returns to the throng of people who are either gathered in front of the palace or trying to enter it.
“You recognize me, I’m guessing.”
She puts her fists on her waist and cocks her head.
“How would I forget how you messed with my head back in front of the slum house?”, Felt says. “They would have paid me a lot for that medallion. To be honest, I was mostly glad to be rid of it. There was heat coming for the goods this time, and I would have had to hide the medallion for a good time.”
“Are you actually related to the royal family, or did you steal someone else’s identity?”
Felt’s eyebrows twitch, and she frowns.
“You’re messing with me again, aren’t you? I’m leaving…”, Felt says as she starts to walk away from you.
It suddenly dawns on you that this is your big chance to get inside the palace so you can search for Emilia without hassle. You step towards Felt to stop her from walking away from you. She turns her head slightly and narrows her eyes at you.
“What?”
“I want to come with you. I need to get inside that palace.”
She stares at you blankly.
“No, you don’t”, Felt says.
“Please let me in.”
“You say that as if I have any jurisdiction over what the guards do or don’t do.”
“No, please. Let me in.”
“Get lost, weirdo!”
With a defeated sigh, you let Felt go. The last thing you want is her yelling for some guard and them believing you are harassing some innocent girl. You turn around and walk to the other side of the street. Felt goes the other way. You stand there watching as she walks up to a guard, presumably to rat you out. You get ready to run just in case.
You don’t hear any alarm bells so you assume either no one cared or Felt chickened out and ran somewhere. You walk away from the palace and enter a nearby tavern for some lunch and to think about your next move.
You are anxious as you enter the tavern, and you realize that the amount of people attracted to this area of the capital makes it so people barely have space to wolf down the food before they are told to leave their seat for the next customer. You don’t want to wait in a queue to get your food anyway.
A guy eating chicken wings catches your eye. He wears a helmet that hides his facial features, even though he’s not wearing armor, and his entire left arm is missing. This guy must be some kind of veteran soldier on a break, or maybe some adventurer. You go over to him and sit down in the seat across from him.
“Hey, are you here for the royal summons?”
The soldier gives you a sideways glance and continues eating.
“What is it to you, bro?”, says the guy.
“I’m just trying any possible opportunity, I guess. I need to get into the place.” You consider your words, and lower your voice. “You aren’t by any chance guarding the palace, are you?”
The soldier puts down his chicken wings and gives you a dead serious look.
“I’m guarding someone who is in a way related to the royal palace. Don’t know what it has to do with you though”.
“What’s your name, guy?”
“My name? You can call me Al. Short for Aldebaran. Get out of the way so I can finish my food.”
Oh, that’s his real name. Go figure.
“Alright, Al. What’s with the one-man, one-arm guard duty?”, you ask.
“The lady I protect is a real piece of work, and she would drive away anybody else.”
“So is she a royal, or…?”
“She’s a royal candidate, but from what I heard the elders don’t really like her. Even if she gets the throne, she probably won’t rule long.”
“How come?”
“You’ll see when you meet her. The girl is a real royal.” He pauses.
Aldebaran finishes his wings and sucks on his fingers of his only hand to clean them. He then stands up and without paying attention to you he turns to the door. You stand up and follow him.
“Hey, by any chance you wouldn’t do me a solid and let me into the royal palace, right?”, you ask nervously.
“I think I already answered that question”, he says with a straight face, or with what you assume is a straight face, because of the helmet. You both approach the throng of citizens waiting in front of the palace entrance, but Aldebaran goes straight to some guards to the side, who nod at him and let him past them to some side door. Aldebaran takes out a key and opens the door. You follow him inside.
“Welcome to the Royal Palace. If you try anything, my buddy the eternals guard captain is here to cut off your dick.”
Well that’s a new piece of information.

---

Some observations regarding what the GPT-3 algorithm either suggested or produced entirely by itself.

-Roswaal offering Emilia a robe to avoid attention, GPT-3 came up with that. I don’t know if it’s related to Emilia having been established in the narrative as a royal candidate, or whether it has to do with the citizens’ general hate of her being a half-elf, which I wrote in the hidden worldbuilding.
-The reference to eating ice cream turned for me into a running joke, which initially GPT-3 produced by itself in part 1. I think that either the protagonist or Emilia suggested getting ice cream after they dealt with the thief Felt.
-The group of teenagers wanting to smash Emilia’s face for being a half-elf was something that GPT-3 produced verbatim.
-Emilia “deflecting” being called cute through suggesting she has balls is something GPT-3 came up with out of nowhere, as well as suggesting they should get married. I ran with it instead of altering that part. It was so shockingly absurd that I didn’t know how to progress that conversation.
-Regarding the introduction of the major cunt Priscilla on that alleyway, I had written her in the hidden backstory as possessing supernatural powers and having a superior attitude. I barely had to alter the production: Priscilla dispatched the thugs on her own. I was surprised when GPT-3 launched the thugs after the protagonist afterwards, and him being surprised at having taken them out was a genuine moment.
-I hadn’t expected at all the concern shown by the people at the rented mansion because the protagonist’s clothes were stained with blood. That’s GPT-3 knowing implicit cause and effect.
-GPT-3 made Rem appear in order to serve the protagonist his dinner, and I prompted her to stay and talk for a bit. I love the dialogues you can develop when you just ask as any character anything to another one, only for GPT-3 to produce a response that stays in character. It’s truly unbelievable. Ram refusing to elaborate, being her usual gloomy self, is unedited as well. Also, that moment when Subaru is speaking with Rem and someone knocks on some door, I considered altering it to steer GPT-3, because I had no clue whether the AI intended to produce a threat that wouldn’t fit the story. But GPT-3 made it so Ram was the one wanting to enter! It’s ridiculous.
-Also, Rem refers to her as an Oni as well as adds the -san to the protagonist’s name completely unprompted. I don’t know if it is a result of the protagonist having declared himself as being Japanese, but I don’t know why that would make Rem refer to herself as an Oni. She’s described as a demon in the backstory.
-Emilia being so anxious about facing the council is also made up by GPT-3. I’m not sure what combination of story details produced it.
-Puck appearing out of nowhere in that scene with a damned horn on his head is also made up by GPT-3. I don’t know what intentions the AI had, but I ran with it as Puck and the protagonist having an argument again. They’ve had entertainingly hostile interactions up to this point. I suspect that the horn thing is related to the puppy demon from the previous volume. Puck doesn’t have a horn in the written backstory.
-Once the protagonist had to sneak into the royal palace, I couldn’t remember the original scenes in the light novel except that Priscilla had something to do with it. I let GPT-3 make the protagonist hang out outside of the palace, only for some redheaded girl to interact with him. GPT-3 introduced her as Felt, although Felt had been described as having blonde hair. It seemed interesting, so I ran with it.
-I had to force meeting with Aldebaran in the tavern, because GPT-3 kept wanting the protagonist to just hang out in an inn and even spend the night there. That wouldn’t do.
-GPT-3 also came up with Aldebaran’s threat to cut off the protagonist’s dick. I don’t know what the AI meant by “eternals guard”, but hey. Guess it’s canon now.

Man, roleplaying with the GPT-3 AI algorithm that AI Dungeon uses in its subscription model is way too much fun. I went deeper into the Re:Zero scenario I had set up, trying to figure out if I could create something coherent that would feel as if playing through its storyline. It’s a big success as far as I’m concerned, and the AI has produced interesting moments that I would have never predicted. Of course, though, it also attempted to do weird stuff, like turn Rem and Ram into cultists of the Witch’s Cult that had opened a portal into the mansion, and that whole thing with Beatrice’s corpses came out of nowhere.

Reading back all the parts after I posted the ninth, it seems that it’s midway through this one that the protagonist snaps regarding having been kidnapped into a fantasy world, and from then on he becomes a complete lunatic. Which is far more fun than the generic crap of the previous part.

• Previous part (1)
• Next part (3)

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“Puck asked me to thank you and welcome to the crew”, Emilia says.
“What does he even do? I feel like he hasn’t done anything that is remotely useful. Other than acting smug, that is.”
“Most spirits are like that. They have all the time in the world to mess with us mortals, so they tend to enjoy it. Don’t worry, he’s helpful in his own way. He scouts the area around us and gives me updates on what’s ahead. He’s also a great fighter. In fact, he once fought off an entire pack of beowolves while we were traveling to the capital.”
“Better not to mess with the little cat spirit, as harmless as he looks.”
“I try to respect that. He’s helped me out in so many ways, I couldn’t even count.”
Emilia smiles as the dragon carriage speeds forward. Puck sits on her shoulder. You see the road ahead of you, as well as some trees and fields on both sides. Everything seems green. There are also some other carriages ahead of you and behind you on this road. Nothing out of the ordinary seems to be happening.
“Emilia, I want to know more about yourself. You didn’t seem like you belonged in Lugunica. What’s your backstory?”
“Well, I was born in a village of elves in the Frozen Forest. It’s very far away from here, so you wouldn’t have heard of it. It’s probably best that way, since bad things happened there.”
“Bad things happen everywhere. Go on. What happened?”
“There was a… disagreement in the village. The people there thought that I shouldn’t be allowed to stay because of what I can do, so they kicked me out. That’s when I met Puck for the first time. He was wandering through the forest and heard my crying. We became friends, and he guides me through the forests and to this day we’ve been together.”
“What a lovely companion is Puck, then. I’m sorry I doubted you for a moment, little cat.”
Puck meows.
“Me too. Just play it cool, and we’ll be fine.”

The mansion is a large building made out of brick and stone, with a huge gate surrounding it. The road leading up to it is paved with nice stone bricks.
“My goodness, am I really going to live in such a royal mansion? That lord Roswaal must be incredibly rich and powerful. Or both!”
Puck says nothing, and instead just sits there washing himself.
The gate to the mansion opens up, and you drive in. The garden around the mansion is filled with beautiful trees and flowers of all kinds. It’s quite lovely, though you see nobody around. You head to the front door of the mansion, and knock on it. A young woman with pink hair, wearing a maid outfit, greets you with a stern look on her face.
“Glad to see you again, Ram”, says Emilia. “Please take care of my luggage.”
“Yes ma’am”, says the pink-haired maid, as she takes Emilia’s suitcase from her.
You follow Emilia into the mansion, where you see a stairway leading up to a second floor.
“I’ve arrived, Roswaal!”
A door at the bottom of the stairway opens up, and out comes a tall man wearing a colorful suit. He has long black hair, and is carrying a thick book in his hand. He wears makeup resembling that of a clown. When he sees Emilia, he brandishes a wide smile and approaches the silver-haired half-elf.
“Glad to have you back.”, says Roswaal. “And as I’ve been told, you managed to recover your stolen medallion.”
Emilia nods, smiling. “Yes, I did, thank you for your help.”
“Think nothing of it. I am merely doing my duty to help those in need. I also heard about the thief who stole your medallion, and how your bodyguard managed to apprehend her. The poor girl… You must’ve been terrified.”
Emilia nods. “It was scary…but I’m glad we got the medallion back. I can’t imagine what might’ve happened if we hadn’t caught the thief.”
“Indeed. The kingdom would be in dire straits were that to happen, I’d say.”
Emilia gives a nod in agreement, with a small smile on her face. You wonder what’s going on.
“Now then, please introduce me to your bodyguard, Emilia. I’d like to talk to her.”
“Oh, yes. Ram, come here!”, says Emilia.
You walk over to the two, and as you do so, Emilia embraces you from behind in a hug. It startles you a bit.
“…She’s very shy.”
“Aww, how adorable…”, says Roswaal with a wide smile, as he extends his hand towards you.
You neither appreciate nor understand this game they are playing, but then again the man introduced as the lord is wearing clown makeup. You shake lord Roswaal’s hand anyway.
He smiles warmly at you.
“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance. You look like a capable young man.”
“…Thanks.”

Soon, you’ve entered a lavish room, with a table fit for dozens of people. You’re seated next to Emilia, who seems tired. Standing still next to Roswaal is a blue-haired maid who keeps glancing at you suspiciously. This blue-haired young woman has a very cute face, but her demeanour somehow suggests vast power.
“How are you feeling after all the trouble we went through, Emilia?”, you ask to the silver-haired half-elf.
“I’m fine. It was just a little headache, but thanks to you it’s all better now.”
Your words cause Emilia to smile at you, and you feel yourself… well, not exactly blushing. No, that’d be far too embarrassing. But you are certainly feeling a warm sensation in your heart. You’re happy that you were of service to her.
“…Now I’ve had enough! Just shut up already!”
The little cat sitting on the table next to you meows at the maid, as she snaps her fingers.
“Meown, I feed you, I give you a home, and this is how you repay me? By trying to seduce this poor boy?”
“Meow!”
“Oh, shut up!”
The little cat, looking offended, puffs itself up and stops making any noise.
“You there, what’s your name?””, you ask, looking at the blue-haired maid.
“Rem, sir.”
“What a nice name…”
“DON’T LIE! MY NAME MEANS DOOM!”
After you recover yourself from the sudden outburst, you readjust yourself on your seat and nod at the servant.
“Ah, Rem was it? I’ve never been too good with names. Anyway, nice to meet you.”
“Rem, leave the boy alone. I’m sure he’s not interested in you.”
Emilia says that to Rem as she gives her a quick glare, then turns to look at you.
You smile back, and she withers under your gaze.
“Ah… Um…”, Emilia starts to say, “I should really thank you again for helping me retrieve my medallion. I can’t believe it got stolen in the first place, and until we found the loot house, I thought it was lost forever.”
Roswaal listens to your conversation while resting his chin on his palm. While smiling, he speaks to Emilia with a lilting cadence. “It is a bit hard to understand how someone managed to steal such a valuable medallion out of you, Emilia.”
Emilia lowers her gaze, looking ashamed.
“I can only apologize for it”, she says.
“Why was that medallion so important anyway?”, you ask. “What is its purpose?”
“The medallion reacts by glowing if the persons who are elegible to rule the Kingdom of Lugunica are holding it. There are very few of these medallions, and very few people who are recognized as candidates. Losing the medallion would mean that Emilia would have never become the ruler of the kingdom”, says Roswaal.
You stare at Emilia in shock.
“That medallion was so incredibly important, and you allowed it to get stolen, Emilia? Did you keep it in your pocket or something, along with the change?”, you ask in a sharp tone.
“Hey, now! That’s no way of addressing the princess of the Kingdom, let alone any girl! Apologize!”
At these words by Rem, you turn to see her glaring at you. You look down a bit, and grovel.
“I’m sorry, princess. My anger just overtook me.”
“Hmm… I understand that you are angry at me. But please don’t be too hard on yourself either.”
You look at the medallion in your hands and sigh.
“But I must insist, Emilia. To have allowed for some lowly thief such as Felt to steal your medallion, you must be incredibly retarded. I thought you were some hot shit given how you acted, but I was seriously mistaken!”
You bow your head down to her unnaturally quickly, and remain that way until she tells you to raise it.
“I’m sorry, princess.”
“Hmm, me too. I thought that people wouldn’t be so quick to judge me and see my actions.”
You cough to clear your voice, as well as the air. You stare straight at the clownish lord Roswaal, who keeps a hieratical smile on his lips.
“Lord Roswaal, allow me to introduce myself properly”, you say solemnly. “My name is Natsuki Subaru. I don’t have any money, I’m useless, and people consider me so annoying that they wish to flee from me at the earliest opportunity. I hope that my honesty is a good asset for serving you, as I ask formally to be allowed to work as a servant in your mansion along with your beautiful girls Ram and Rem.”
The girls in the room giggle at your introduction. Emilia gets off her chair and walks over to you. Emilia reaches out to shake your hand, but then withdraws it. She instead does a curtsy.
“Natsuki-san, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Ah, the pleasure is all mine!”
You and Emilia laugh at your responses to each other’s formalities. The two of you seem to get along immediately. Even the clownish lord of the manor, Roswaal, seems to smile at this interaction.
The next three days pass quickly. You become friends with everyone in the mansion. Ram and Rem also become friends with you, though they seem to be a bit distant sometimes…

On the fourth night, you decide to stay up and see what’s going on in this mansion. Whilst everyone else is asleep, you wander through the large halls of the mansion, which seem magically looped at times, and you open random doors to rooms that most of the time are empty. One of the doors you open, however, lets out a stale, musty air that reminds you of old books, and indeed, you stare at row after row of stacked books that seem hundreds or thousands of years old. In the center of the library sits a doll-like girl that can’t be older than ten. She’s dressed in a strangely festive red outfit, and she wears her hair with two long hair tails. She’s focused in the book she’s reading, as if you didn’t exist.
“Hello?”
You tap her on her shoulder, and she shows a face of annoyance.
“What do you want?”
“I… was just wondering why this library is unlocked, and you’re in here.”
“Because I run this library, and I’m allowed to be here. Not like anyone actually comes here anyway.”
“I see…”
The girl returns to her book as you back away.
“At least I’d like to know your name, little girl.”
“I’m not little!”
The little girl slams her book shut and gives you a dirty look.
“My name’s Beatrice, I suppose. I’m contracted to protect this library. That’s about all you need to know”.
You are stunned by her resolute tone, unbecoming of such a young girl. It’s obvious that she takes her job seriously.
“Do you know Emilia as well? Somehow it feels as if you never leave this library.”
“You won’t find her here. She’s probably off having fun with her royal duties or something.”
You frown. You were hoping to ask her some questions about Puck, and see if she could help you. But it seems that you’ve hit a dead end as usual.
“Hey, I’ve got an idea. If you’re contracted to protect the library, wouldn’t it be fun to break that contract and let me take over protecting this place?”
Beatrice shakes her head. You can tell that she thinks you’re a little kid that doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
“I’m not breaking my contract, I suppose. Besides, would you be able to protect this place from the numerous threats this mansion as well as our lord Roswaal face, I wonder?”
“What kind of threats are you talking about?”, you ask.
Beatrice crosses her arms, pouts and looks away from you.
“I’m not telling.”
Disappointed by her stubbornness, you head back to the room the lord Roswaal has given you, and you hope to have a good night’s sleep.

You wake up the next morning and walk to the dining room. You see everyone, including Emilia and Ram, eating breakfast.
“Ah, there he is! I was wondering where he had ran off to!”
Rem stands up from the table and gives you a big hug. The shock of it all causes you to fall backwards, sitting on the ground with Rem still hanging on to you.
“You are strangely strong, Rem!”
“Perhaps you have noticed, but I am an Oni!”
She says proudly. Then she helps you up to the chair next to you. She sits down and begins to dig into the food that’s on the table.
“Tell me about where you’re from?”
“What do you want to know?”, you ask in between bites of food.
“Everything! I never tire of hearing about a place that isn’t around here.”
“Well, I have quite the fantastic story to tell you guys. I’m from a country called Japan, that exists in a different planet, or maybe a different dimension.”
Everyone at the table stops, and stares at you. Then, they burst into laughter.
“Oh that is a great one!”
“I thought you couldn’t top the cookie monster story!”
Rem pats on your back, laughing. Then, she gets up, and goes to get something from a shelf in the kitchen.
“Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m not kidding. Also, in my country of origin, Japan, there’s no magic of any kind! No one can use magic! We learned to evolve through developing more and more sophisticated technology.”
Emilia stares at you with a pitiful look on her face.
“I can tell that you believe what you are saying, which worries me.”
You almost stand up from your chair.
“I’m not making it up!”, you say.
Ram coughs into her fist.
“Well, foreign boy, we’ll need to get down to the village to gather some supplies. Are you coming with us? You’ll have me on one arm and my precious sister Rem on the other”, Ram says.
“How can I say no to that”, you answer.
“I need to get more firewood for the fireplace anyway. You can carry it.”

Shortly after you finish your breakfast, you get ready to descend to the village along with servants Ram and Rem. As you descend the hill towards the small village, you turn to the servants.
“Well, girls, what is your story? How come you two ended up getting employed as servants in Roswaal’s mansion?”, you ask.
“How come you ended up working as a butler in some random nobleman’s mansion?”
“Oh, wow, yeah. Good question. Well, I used to be a soldier. I wanted to see more of the world and that’s how I ended up here.”, you reply.
“I see. So you’re a wanderer, hm? Sounds like fun.”
“It has it’s perks. I’d recommend it.”
You think about your former life back on Earth, how you used to be a loser who was afraid of going to high school and that couldn’t work, and now you are living in a fantasy world with beautiful demon girls on each arm.
“I’m not complaining.”
“I figured you wouldn’t. So, little sister, what’s your story?”
Rem looks up at you with her bright blue eyes, which are tinted red from the sun, then she instantly looks away bashfully.
“I was raised in the village, I’ve never been outside of it.”
“Well that doesn’t sound so bad. You’re probably a lot safer from bandits and the like.”
“Yeah…it’s just I’ve never left my family and now I’ll be away from them”, she says sadly.
You pat her head, giving her blue hair a tussle.
“You mentioned being an Oni, Rem. What does it exactly entail. Do you have special powers or something?”
“Yeah, I suppose. We’re natural warriors with super strength and amazing combat skills. But that’s not all of it, as being an Oni has its downsides.”
“Oh?”
“I, along with every other Oni, must consume human blood to survive.”
Rem makes a point of opening her mouth wide to reveal incredibly sharp teeth, almost like a vampire of lore.
“Well, you can bite me anytime.”
Puck chimes in.
“She’d have to catch you first.”
Rem gives Puck a look that could wither stone, and continues.
“It’s not as bad as it sounds, as human blood is the only kind that sustains us. Animal blood will simply make us sick.”
“Sounds inconvenient at least.”
“It is.”
You have reached the village. The villagers look at your group with curiosity.
“It’s better for us to separate and gather the necessary supplies”, says Ram.
“What am I supposed to do?”, you ask.
“You can play with the local children”, Ram answers with a smirk.
“You must be kidding me.”
“I never kid about tsundere-slaps!”
You see several children playing in the village, however they seem to keep their distance. Even the children are tsundere for you. You shrug and go off to play with them, as it seems to be the only thing you can do.
“And no stealing any of their toys!”, Ram yells.
A little boy with dark hair comes over to speak with you.
“Hello”, the boy says.
“Hello, kid. I’m new here.”
“I’ve never seen you before.”
“I just got here today. It seems to be a nice village.”
“Yeah, it’s nice, but the forest that surrounds the village is pretty scary.”
“Are there monsters in the forest, or what?”, you ask.
“There are occasional sightings of the Witch of Gloom, a woman who curses people to die soon after encountering her. Also, there is a talking household item in an abandoned mansion that will try to kill you.”
“Interesting.”
The boy points at Rem, who is dealing with some villager’s wares as Puck sits on her shoulder.
“What about that? He doesn’t look like a human or an elf.”
“He’s a fairy”, you say, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“Really? Wow!”
The boy looks at Rem, fascinated. You sit down next to him and speak.
“What’s your name?”
“L-Lucius”, the boy manages to say, still star struck.
“I’m Natsuki Subaru. You can call me your lord and savior”, you tell the kid.
“Okay… lord… um, savior.”
“Perfect”, you say, smiling.
As you sit next to Lucius, a girl holding a black puppy comes over. She looks at you and gives a huge grin.
“Hi! My name’s Liliana, but you can call me Lily”, she says.
“Nice puppy. Did you make it yourself?”, you ask.
“Uh huh! Mom said she’ll buy me a real wolfhound next month if I’m good!”
“That’s cool. You’re pretty cute too.”
“Ew! Boys are yucky!”, Lily says as she points at you, “But you’re okay.”
This makes both you and Lucius laugh.
You see the village chief, who’s wearing a robe that looks more wizard like than most wizards you’ve seen, walk by.
“Yo, village chief. You look pretty cool for this fantasy world. Are you a wizard or just a dork?”
You say this very loudly, and he turns to look at you. He doesn’t look pleased, but he walks over to you anyway.
“I have a lot of work to do, so this had better be quick.”
You notice that he has a wooden ducky in his hand. You also notice that he’s dressed as a wizard, and his ducky has a fancy engraved necklace on it.
You stare at the village chief suspiciously.
“I’m not sure I want to talk to you, sir”, you say.
The village chief sighs, before tossing you the wooden duck.
“Fine, have it.”
You catch the wooden duck, glancing at it before looking back at the chief. He’s about to turn around and walk away before you speak again.
“Wait! I have questions!”
The chief turns to look at you again, clearly annoyed.
“What is it?”
“Do you know about Beatrice, the librarian that guards the library in Roswaal’s mansion?”, you ask.
“Yes. I heard she was sealed away by some witch some hundreds of years ago. Good riddance.”
“Why is that?”, you ask.
“Beatrice is a witch who summons dark spirits. She once got mad at me, and my duck went missing for a week.”
“Are you ever nice to anyone here?”
“I am nice to villagers. Just not stupid enough to allow myself to get emotionally attached, or risk having my possessions stolen.”
“Well, I risk losing the remains of my sanity if I keep talking to you. I’d rather pet this black puppy that Lily is holding.”
You walk over to the black puppy. It looks up at you with sad eyes.
“Oh, I’m sorry that my master is such a powerful, evil sorcerer. But soon, we’ll be free, I promise.”
Suddenly the dog looks demonic, and he bites your left hand hard. You jump away, but the dog has produced a deep wound in your hand. It burns, and it begins to bleed.
“Shit, that hurt!”
The chief walks over to you and looks at your bleeding hand. He takes out a bottle of blue liquid.
“This is a powerful healing potion. It’ll cost you five gold.”
“I don’t have any money”, you say.
“Then I don’t have any potion”, the village chief says, and walks away.
You get angrier, and turn to Lily, whose shoulders are trembling.
“What the fuck is the problem with your puppy, Lily? Didn’t you teach it not to bite your superiors? I’m like a big deal in this place. I’m employed by the lord himself!”, you say loudly.
“I’m sorry, sir. I’ll do better next time.”
Lily’s tears fall down even harder. You begin to wonder if you’re actually being an asshole right now. However, you don’t really care, because this girl is so sad and crying that she can’t do her fucking job of taking care of a dog. You walk away. After meeting briefly with Rem, you tell her that you aren’t feeling well due to having had your left hand bitten hard, and that you are going to go back to Roswaal’s mansion to have some stiff drink.
You sit in a chair and light up some tobacco. You drink the bottle, and your hand immediately begins to feel better.
“Fuck, that hurt”, you say.
You sit in silence for about an hour. Then, Puck comes out of no where and says
“What are you doing?”
“I’m having a drink.”
“That’s not good for you.”
“Why the hell not? I’m going to drink so hard that I’ll stop seeing magical flying cats.”
“I wasn’t talking about the alcohol. I’m talking about the smoke.”
You look at the end of your cigarette, and sure enough, it’s on fire. You quickly drop it into the glass, which thankfully doesn’t break.
“Shit!”
“I warned you. Those things will kill you.”
“Fine!”
You stand up and head to the kitchen. There, you find a cup, and begin to pour whiskey into it.
You look at your bleeding hand, which keeps dripping blood on every surface, and you think that it shouldn’t burn this much. You should consult with the local librarian, Beatrice.

You’ve been a little scared of Beatrice. She’s not particularly scary looking, in fact, she’s probably one of the least scary looking monsters you’ve ever met. At least, in continuity. In the past, she’s definitely been up there. In any case, she’s a ghost. She hasn’t spoken to you or anyone since you met her that one time. Granted, no one really talks about her either. However, she probably has deep knowledge of magic, so you keep opening doors until you find the one connected to the magical library. Inside, Beatrice, sitting on her chair, briefly looks up to you from her book, with an annoyed look on her face. The book looks like a delicate antique.
“Hey…” Beatrice says.
“I need a healing potion, I cut my hand.”
She just sighs, and holds out her hand. You give her the hand, and she sticks it inside her mouth and begins to suck on it. You feel the skin being pulled together, before she releases her mouth. You flex your hand, and can’t feel any scars.
“That was more erotic than I want to admit.”
She stares at you for a second, before she gives you a look of disgust. Then, she turns away from you.
“I’m sorry! That was silly and stupid of me!”
Beatrice turns back to you, her eyes now watery.
“I’m not supposed to get attached…”
She cries into her hands. You feel awful about your joke, and try to think of something to say.
Beatrice wipes the tears from her big blue eyes.
“More importantly, though, it smells as if you’ve been cursed, I suppose”, she says.
“Yeah, I’ll say! It smells like shit, and I’m covered in it.”
“Not that”, she replies. “It’s the smell of death in the air. I thought I was the only one who could sense it.”
Beatrice stands up from the chair, and goes to a bookshelf. She searches for a book, before pulling it out.
“The history of this place is old, but… I think I know what’s causing this.”
“Wait a second. The fuck you mean cursed?”
You’re surprised when you realize that not only did blood begin to appear on the floor, but it’s also coming from your nose. You quickly wipe it off.
“I’d say you’re the one cursed”, Beatrice says. “You started bleeding out of your nose the moment you stepped in this place.”
“Nonsense”, you reply. “There’s no such thing as curses.”
Beatrice shakes her head at you.
“Once a curse has bitten into your body, if a competent magic user doesn’t dispel the curse, you are guaranteed to die in a day, I suppose”, the little girl says.
“Can you lift the curse?”
Beatrice nods her head.
“I can try, I suppose… Come with me.”
Beatrice turns away from you and heads out of the room. You follow, as she walks up a set of stairs to the second floor, and then to a small platform that overlooks the atrium. The bodies have been placed here. You notice each one has a black book next to it.
Beatrice walks off the platform, and onto a nearby staircase. She walks down the stairs to the floor, and then heads to the nearest dead body.
“These bodies each have a black book near them. I believe that if you were to take the books, the curse should be lifted.”
“Are you serious?”
“Of course I am, I suppose,” Beatrice says, annoyed at your questioning of her knowledge on curses.
“Beatrice… Why are there corpses in your library?”
“Mother was a woman obsessed with the dead. She commanded that all bodies who die within the vicinity of this mansion be brought here instead of being taken to a church or given a proper burial.”
“That’s fucked up…”, you say.
“For years, these corpses have just been left down here, and not once did Mother or anyone else think to lay them to rest. It wasn’t until recently that I started doing it myself.”
“What the hell do you do with the corpses? You never get out of this library, and you certainly don’t bury them here!”
“I give them an albino lizard, and they’re perfectly content!”
“You have an albino lizard?”
Beatrice nods her head.
“Of course, I do. Albino lizards are always white, and there’s a reason for that. They’re practically ghosts, I suppose. Ever see one? They’re barely visible.”
As you were attempting to figure out if the librarian was pulling your leg, Puck pops out of your front pocket and on to your shoulder.
“Did you want something, Puck? We are having an important conversation about corpses here.”
“No, but I was just wondering something. What would the world be like if every person who died stood up and kept living? Would the world be filled with zombies? And what would you do with a zombie?”
“Stop asking stupid questions, Puck. Of course, there wouldn’t be zombies. Dead is dead, and that’s it. Now, stop wasting our time.”
Beatrice goes back to sorting through corpses as you stare at Puck.
“Excuse me, Beako, but will you quit this nonsensical playing around and lift the damn curse in my hand already? It’s burning real bad.”
“Alright, hold still.”
Beatrice does some magic stuff over your left hand. You feel some warmth leave the wound. Then Beatrice nods to herself, and calmly descends the stairs towards her favorite chair.
You follow her, confused.
“Wait a second, is that it? The curse is lifted?”
Beatrice sits down in her chair and thinks for a second.
“This curse was demonic in origin. Do you know who inflicted it?”.
“It was a damn dog that some children had been playing with, down in the village. A black puppy”, you reply annoyed.
Beatrice opens one eye, turns her head towards you.
“A black puppy. You’re sure?”
“Yes. Why? Is there something special about black puppies?”
Beatrice turns away.
“No. Nothing.”
You stare at her, then sigh.
Beatrice’s eccentricities are infamous, and even you aren’t sure what she might and what she might not know about black puppies.
“Well, Beatrice”, you say, “it’s been difficult to talk to you, as usual. If one of these days you want me to break your contract and free you from your hundreds of years old slavery, call me on my cellphone.”
Beatrice says nothing. You shake your head, and you exit the library by the tall doors.
Walking down the hallway, you want to find the silver-haired half-elf Emilia to inform her about the threat to the villagers. When you exit the mansion, you walk down the courtyard to find the ground turning into mud. A drizzle has started falling, and you are already soaked as soon as you step out of the entrance of the mansion. You look at the sky, and it seems that more rain clouds are gathering over the mountains surrounding the valley.
Putting up your hood, you hurry your pace towards the village.

You hurry your pace, as you are already soaked in the rain. As you reach the village, you see Ram and Rem about to head up to the mansion. They are holding big bags of supplies. Behind them, in the center of the village, the kids are playing with the black puppy.
You call out to them and run to them to warn them about the dangers of this situation. As you approach, you call out to them.
“Hey! You two! Stop!”
The girls turn, and the black puppy’s ears perk up. He sees you and barks once at you, before dashing towards you.
“Look, puppy wants to meet-“, one of the kid says.
Suddenly the black puppy transforms into a ten feet tall beast that looks more like a mythical monster of some kind than a puppy. It has a big horn in the center of his forehead, and a spiked tail, and his eyes glow red. It’s the most hardcore puppy you’ve ever seen.
“Oh shit! Run!” You say, as you realize the threat this monster presents.
The kids don’t need to be told twice. They run in all different directions, screaming. You look at Ram and Rem. “Split up and make for the mansion! We’ll catch up!”
They nod, and begin to run towards different parts of the village. The monster looks around, trying to decide who to chase. It’s gaze goes over you before shifting to Ram.
Ram, with a calm look on her face, jumps to the roof of a nearby house, and magic begins to surge in her hands. Meanwhile, Rem, in the opposite direction to the beast, has produced an enormous flail with a spiked ball, that she somehow had been hiding in her maid outfit. The monster roars, and charges towards Ram. It leaps into the air, to grab her off the roof. She aims her hand at it and ice spikes grow from the roof, impaling the creature all over, wounding it severely. Ram jumps from the roof, and as she does more ice spikes come up to prevent her from falling too far. The monster howls in pain and charges towards the house, smashing through the wall as if it were made of cardboard.
Rem jumps several feet into the air, and with a swift flick of her right arm, the spiked ball of her flail flies through the air and ends up crashing into the monster’s oversized head. The creature’s left eye explodes. It lets out a shriek of pain, and begins to stumble around the village, crashing into houses and destroying them. Ram pursues the monster, and she shoots a wind spell at the creature’s legs. The winds rip at the creature’s flesh, cutting heavily into it. The creature collapses to the ground, screaming.
Rem walks up to it, and puts all her strength into one large smack with her flail. The spiked ball smacks into the monster’s face, tearing into its flesh and destroying its upper jaw. It lets out a quiet whimper as it dies.
Rem: “Are you okay, Ram?”
Ram gets up off the ground and dusts off her clothes.
“Of course”, Ram says. She then shoots you a look. You are sitting on the dirt, and you have peed your pants. Ram snorts a laugh.
You stand up while keeping your head down. “I guess that’s that regarding the puppy”, you say. “And I didn’t have to do anything.”
“Shut up, lute boy”, Ram says.
You walk over to the dead monster and inspect it. You’ve never seen a beast like this before.You wonder what you should do with the body.
Rem walks until she stands close to you.
“We will hire someone to carry it to the capital, Lugunica”, she says. “Maybe someone will turn it into exotic food, and some moneys our way.”
She pats you on your back, and she begins walking back towards the mansion along with her sister Ram. You were saved by these two, you think. They may be rough and intimidating, but they have a good heart.
You begin to walk after them, but you stop for a moment as you realize Puck is no longer on your shoulder. You turn around and see him, sitting by the dead monster. He’s turned away from the corpse, looking at the ground.
“Hey”, you say softly.
Puck turns his head to look at you.
“Yeah?”
“What are you wasting our time for? Get moving already, damn you.”
“Yeah, don’t worry, I’m coming.”
Puck turns away again, and sits looking at the ground. You wonder what he could be looking at so intently.
“What are you doing?”
“Nothing”, Puck says, facing the ground again.
You walk over to where Puck is sitting, and you crouch down to see what he was looking at. There’s only dirt, as far as the eye can see.
“Oh, fuck off, Puck. I’m going up to the mansion and french kissing your fucking princess.”
You stand up and go to the mansion, leaving Puck sitting by the corpse. You walk with purpose, and soon arrive in front of the large mansion’s doors.
“I’ll just wait here, Emi!”, you hear a voice shout from behind you. You turn around, but Puck is nowhere to be seen.
Emilia and Roswaal are standing in front of the mansion’s entrance. Ram and Rem have left the bags with supplies next to them, and are speaking with the lord as well as with Emilia. You approach the group.
“Hello, Emilia”, you say.
“Hm. We need to talk”, she says, with a harshness in her tone that catches you off-guard.
“Yeah, we do.”
The conversation between the others is getting more and more heated, as it seems that there are some disagreements between the lord of the mansion and the twins. They soon are barking accusations at each other.
“YOU LIE!”, Ram screams at the top of her lungs.
“I never have nor will I ever lie, darling”, Roswaal says in a calm manner while gently caressing Ram’s cheek.
“What is happening here?”, you ask.
Ram shoots you a look over her shoulder.
“You have nothing to do with this, outsider.”
You feel a coldness in your spine under her fiery gaze.
Emilia grabs you softly by your arm and you walk away towards the vast yard.
“What is the problem, Emilia? Why are the lord and the servants arguing so angrily?”
“Their reasons are… complicated. They’re still under contract to serve the royal family, even though the royal family is dead. So as long as they’re under contract, they have to do what he says.”
“That’s pretty unreasonable.”
“Yeah… but legally sound. The terms of the contract can’t be broken by either party until it expires. I understand their anger, but-“
“No, no, I get it, Emilia. Rules are rules.”
“What is the contract demanding them to do?”
“It seems that lord Roswaal has received a summons from the Royal Palace back at the capital, Lugunica. I’m supposed to head out with him in order to present myself as a candidate for the throne in the future.”, Emilia says with a soft voice. “Ram is angry that the lord failed to protect the villagers from a demonic infiltration.”
“That’s tough shit.”
You shrug.
“Well, I get why she’s angry. I would be too, in her shoes.”
“I don’t think I want to go to the capital”, says Emilia.
You’re a little surprised by this.
“What? Why not? It could be our chance at getting out of this village!”
“I don’t want to leave”, says Emilia, “I want to stay here. Everyone here is so angry all the time.”
“But don’t you feel trapped?”
“A little. But… I like it here. There’s a lot of green in this village. I’ve always loved nature. Spending my childhood by myself in forests and grasslands has its perks, I guess.”
You consider whether to speak, but you end up doing so. “Emilia, do you actually want to become the ruler of this kingdom?”
“That’s a weird question”, says Emilia, “It’s something that I don’t think has ever crossed my mind. But if I did, I suppose so.”
“Then you should come with us. With your power, and with Puck around, you’d be practically unstoppable in the kingdom.”
“No, that’s… not for me. The only thing that I want right now, is to get back home and sleep in my own bed.”
“I suppose you’ll be able to enjoy a good night’s sleep tonight, and that you’ll leave for Lugunica tomorrow morning.”
“Yeah”, says Emilia.
“By the way, did I tell you that I found out that a little puppy at the village was actually a demon?”, you say with the excitement of a little kid.
“It’s the first thing that came out of Ram and Rem’s mouths, yes”, says Emilia, and sighs.
“Do you figure out that Roswaal will allow me to travel with you two to the capital?”, you ask.
“I think so. I’ll ask him when we get there”, says Emilia, “I bet you’re excited to travel with us!”
“You have no idea!”, you say with a huge grin.
Later, you and the others arrive at the mansion, and you enter the building.
“Hey Ram, Rem!”, you say.
“Hey, kid…. what’s with the guy in the hooded-cloak over there?”
The man in the hooded cloak is old, maybe in his early seventies, but he looks tough as if he could cut you down with his sword in a second. He has a stern, but fair look in his eyes, but detached, as if he no longer cares about anything going on around him.
“That’s Wilhelm, a bodyguard for Crusch’s camp. He’s notified us about the royal summons”, Roswaal says. “Thank you again, Wilhelm”.
“No problem”, the guard says, “His royal highness instructed me to stay here until you all leave for the capital.”
“Interesting. I have multiple theories about why that is, although I’m not sure which is accurate. Anyway, let’s begin.”
The next day, you all begin the trip to the capital in a carriage. You’ll be driving through the country for a day and a half.

I’m testing the limits of the cutting-edge AI algorithm GPT-3 for language processing, which is used in the website AI Dungeon in its premium subscription model. This time I created a scenario which simulates the beginning of one of my favorite manga/anime series, “Re:Zero”. I am attempting to roleplay through most of the big events that happen in that series, starting with the theft of Emilia’s medallion at the capital.

The website, and maybe the GPT-3 model as well, has a sort of “quest” or “mission” system in which you can declare what you intend to achieve, such as “Meet with Emilia”, or “Meet with Felt”, or “Retrieve the stolen medallion”. Curiously, although the mission to meet Emilia got successfully cleared when I met her during the story, the other two didn’t clear even though Felt was hanging around by that point. I suspect that it has to do with that part where an old man comes near the loot house in the slums and tells a story about Felt having gone somewhere. I suppose that got registered in the neural network as factual somehow, and the story then believed that the Felt I dealt with must be someone else with the same name. Whatever, regarding the impact on the story, but clearly you need to have in mind that unless you alter some response that the GPT-3 algorithm produces, it’s considered canon, and further responses are going to consider the stuff that has happened so far.

I created backstory entries (which are hidden from the “player”, and that serve for the AI to create plot events, dialogues, etc.) for Emilia, her contracted spirit Puck, the relationship with each other, and then others for Felt, her adoptive father figure Old Man Rom, and maybe a couple of other things. Everything flows almost perfectly, and this session ended up becoming a quite sober piece of fanfiction. Obviously, though, the GPT-3 is an algorithm that creates material, and I wanted the material to follow a certain route that more or less fits the original series, so there was more altering here than in previous examples.

EDIT: I’ve been cleaning the layout of these past parts, now that I’ve posted the ninth part, and damn, this first one reads so generic. I didn’t have a handle in exactly how I was going to play the protagonist, but most importantly, I was using GPT-3 to guide the story and not editing most of what it outputted; everything is readable, but GPT-3 didn’t have much of a clue at that point (meaning connections in its neural network mind) regarding the kind of story it was. It heard fantasy and ran with it. Oh well, I’m not presenting this to any awards. Still, reading the first and second part is a shock after you are deep into the utter lunacy that later parts become.

The entire text of this first chapter is below.

• Next part (2)

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You are Subaru Natsuki, a sixteen year old who for a few months has stopped going to high school, and you also don’t work. You spend your days at your parent’s home, reading manga. If you get out it’s to buy manga related stuff or food. You do nothing. You’ve never done a single thing. You have all that time, all that freedom… You could have done anything, but you never do a thing. And this is the result. What you are now is the result.
One day you get out of a convenience store and you suddenly find yourself transported to the capital of the Kingdom of Lugunica, in a fantasy world. You are in a bustling metropolis full of not only humans, but also intelligent half-beasts, and some other beings that look more beast than human but that are intelligent. There are half-dogs, half-cats, half-lizards, and such. Most of the transportation is done through ground dragons, which are almost intelligent dragons that can’t fly.
You are overjoyed by having been given this opportunity to leave behind your utterly miserable life back on Earth. You believe that you are going to be granted protagonist status as per the role of these kinds of stories, but as you fail to save a girl from being run over, although she was saved by someone else, you begin to suspect that things in this fantasy world aren’t going to be that easy. You wander around looking for shops where you can buy food, but you can’t read any of the written scripts. You can, however, understand the spoken language for some reason.
You mistakenly enter a female bathroom, and you are pushed out of it violently to the extent that you fall to the river. Soaked, you climb to land and sit under a bridge to gather your thoughts. You came to this fantasy world with only your tracksuit, which you are wearing, your flip phone, and the groceries you bought at the convenience store. Suddenly you hear footsteps approaching. Three thugs approach you and glare at you with menacing eyes. They start beating you up and take away your wallet and phone. They leave you in such a state that it would have been better had they killed you.
But they didn’t. You manage to somehow crawl out of there, and crawl away somewhere safer. There, you pass out from the pain you’re in.

Hours later, you wake up in a bed in a small house. You look around, and find yourself staring at the face of an old woman. The woman asks you who you are and how you ended up at her house if you don’t know her. You can feel this is a life-threatening situation, and your only option is to make something up.
You think of some lies, but they’re not very good.
“I am sorry, lady. I got beaten up really bad by a bunch of thugs, like thousands of them, and I ended up crawling out of there. I suppose that somehow I managed to get into your house to rest from my injuries, and then I must have passed out. I didn’t want to cause you any trouble.”
The old woman is surprisingly kind to you, saying that your wounds need to be taken care of. She takes you to see her sister who is a healer. The healer then applies something very hot on your wounds, which makes you yelp in pain, but then the pain begins to subside as the wounds heal themselves up. The old woman gives you some of her son’s old clothes for you to wear.
The two sisters give you food and a place to sleep for the night. They tell you that the one who let you in is called Astrid, and her sister with the healing powers is named Hiccup. They are both Nord women.
One night, you are sitting down to dinner with the two sisters, when you decide that you can’t abuse their hospitality anymore.
“I suppose that some of my manners must have seemed strange to you. I apologize if that’s the case, but I’m quite new to this world, literally. I better explore for a bit to figure out how I’m going to live from now on. Again, I thank you for all your help.”
“You’re leaving?” Hiccup asks.
“Yes. I have to figure out how I’m going to survive in this world.”
“You’re welcome to stay here for as long as you need to,” Astrid says.
“No, it’s OK. I need to do this myself. But thank you both for your kindness.”
The next day, Astrid takes you to a high vantage point from where you can see capital of the kingdom, called Lugunica, in the distance. It has enormous walls, and a succession of dragon carriages leave and enter the city.
“This is it, Astrid. I hope we’ll get to see each other some time in the future.”
Astrid smiles, and hugs you goodbye.
“I hope so too,” she says.
You wave to her as you leave, and begin the task of walking all the way to the city. You walk for miles on end through fields and plains. Eventually, you find yourself at the edge of a forest, with the enormous walls of the city just in front of you. It’s night time, so you decide to camp out and wait until morning to enter the city.
Through the night, some other travelling merchants camp out near you, hoping to find security in numbers against any possible monster that could want to assault them. You otherwise spend the night without incidents.

When you awake the next morning, you find that the merchants have all been brutally killed. You don’t see any marks of violence on their bodies, but they all died in the night for sure. You shudder at the sight of it.
The question is now whether or not you do still want to enter the city.
You attempt to enter the city as soon as possible, figuring out that there must be horrible monsters and probably criminal groups operating in the outskirts. After arriving to the capital’s entrance, you find a line of people waiting to get in. You see guards patrolling the gate and walls, which have watchtowers holding more guards. You approach the gate and state your business to a guard. The guard seems content that you are looking for your fortune, and lets you pass.
You enter the city, taking in everything around you. You’ve never been to a city this impressive before, and it overwhelms you. You walk along, imitating the other citizens. They look like they know where they’re going, so you’ll copy them. You see a large building with a sign declaring it to be an inn. Not only you are new in this capital, but also in this entire world, as you came from Earth. You find yourself inside the inn, surrounded not only by humans but also by half-beasts who are intelligent, probably called demi-humans. You get seated on an empty table, but then you realize that you have no money. You look at the price list and gasp. It would take months of work for you to be able to pay for dinner here!
While you’re worrying about how you’ll survive in this new world, a small ball rolls near your feet. You look at it and see a small cat. The small cat looks at you and meows, before curling near your feet. You realize that this must be the cat belonging to the old lady who ran the inn.
You reach down and begin to pet the cat, who begins to purr as you do so. His fur is smooth and slick, and he feels like velvet. You smile at the calming sensation of petting this creature, and the worries that filled your mind begin to disappear as you do so.
You are soothed by the small cat, but soon feel yourself beginning to drift off. You don’t want to fall asleep, but you find yourself unable to stop your eyes from closing. You awake to find that you are no longer in the inn, but instead in a large bedroom. You blink and look around, trying to get your bearings.
“You’re awake,” a voice says.
You turn around and find a girl with long, silver hair, and pale skin. She smiles at you, although her eyes remain cold and menacing.
“My contacts informed me that you aren’t a regular at this inn, and you really look as suspicious and strange as they told me. Such weird clothes you wear. Do you recognize me?”
“N-no, I can’t say that I do.” You’re unsure of whether or not you should tell the truth here.
“Good. Then you won’t mind me taking your seat. Now that I’ve had a chance to see you, do you have any questions?”
“Why am I here? How did I get here? What do you want with me?”
“So many questions!” She smiles. “You’re here because I suspect that you are related to the people who have stolen something very precious to me.”
“What if I don’t know anything?” You ask.
“Then I will have wasted my time and be extremely disappointed.”
“What makes you think I have anything to do with any theft? Just because I look suspicious?”
“Because I’ve had my sights on a certain group of people for quite some time now. There is an entire cult out there devoted to me which has caused mayhem for a long time. I’m sure you’ve heard of them. Their members are always strange, and wear uncommon clothes. Most people describe them as odd, which along with you being a new face in this parts suggested that you were a clue to solve the theft of my medallion.”
“What is the name of that cult?”
She gives a smirk.
“The Witch’s Cult. An organization that worships Satella, and plots to revive her power for unknown reasons.”
“I’ve never heard of them.”
“They hide in secret, distribute faith, steal magical items and kill people who oppose them. They’re quite the menace. You truly have never heard of them?”
“I’m sorry. I’m truly new to these parts. And I mean so new that this is the first time I’ve seen this capital, or any part of this world for that matter”, you say.
She’s silent for a moment as she stares at you. It’s somewhat unnerving.
“You do not remember anything, do you?”
“It’s not a matter of remembering. I don’t know anything about any theft. You could consider me very sheltered. Excuse me, by the way, did you ever tell me your name? What is your name?”, you ask.
“Sheltered is an understatement. Alright, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. I’ll explain some things. Will that help?”
“(Sigh) Yeah, I guess so”, you say.
She tells you there is a magical medallion which was recently stolen, which was extremely important to her for reasons she doesn’t want to get into. She has gathered that a person called Felt is behind the theft, but beyond that, she has no clue of Felt’s whereabouts. Emilia needs to find that medallion as if her life depended on it.
“Listen, I don’t know anything about pretty much anything going on in this world, but I’ll be happy to help you look for your medallion.”
“You’re hired.”
“We have a hotel room reserved, we’ll stay there for the night. In the meantime, you can ask the staff if they’ve seen this girl. I’ll remain in the lounge and sip wine. After one glass, don’t try to give me any more, alright?”
You nod.
“Excuse me, but what is your name?”
“What is it to you?”
“I’d just like to know the name of the person I’m going to help.”
She looks away from you as she considers her answer.
“Emilia”, she finally says.
“Alright, Emilia. I’ll search for this Felt girl”, you say.
Emilia does not look at you as you walk away. You take one last glance at her before turning a corner.
You approach the staff and try to persuade them into revealing whether they know of any girl called Felt. The hotel clerk is a middle-aged man with black hair and brown eyes. He wears a black suit and spectacles. He looks up from his newspaper as you stand in front of his desk.
“Ah, yes. How may I help you?” he asks, clearly unimpressed by your disheveled appearance.
“Are you Felt?” you ask him directly.
“I’m afraid not”
Thinking for a second, you realize that the middle-aged man doesn’t fit the description of this Felt girl, given that Felt is a female.
“Are you sure you don’t have a girl staying here by herself, like not an adult?”
“We are a respectable inn for professional humans and demi-humans. We do not have teenagers running around.”
You back away from the desk, as he says:
“Now then, may I ask what it is that you need?”
“No, you may not”, you reply and walk away.
You leave the staff area as the clerk returns to his newspaper. As you approach a waitress, she walks past you to some stairs leading to the upper floor.
“Excuse me”, you say, chasing after her.
She turns around, but doesn’t stop walking.
“I’m sorry, we are all out of coffee”, she explains.
You notice that she has long, curly blond hair and kind eyes.
“Have you ever heard of a client called Felt? She’s supposed to be a woman. Is she one of the regulras?”
“Regulras?” she repeats, quizzically. “I don’t know what that is. That’s not a word I’ve ever heard before. Are you alright?”
“I’m fine. Have you heard of someone called Felt? She’s supposed to be a woman.”
“Yes, she came in here earlier. She’s a blond, tiny girl, maybe fourteen years of age, and considered to be quite troublesome”, the waitress says.
“Good, you know Felt. Do you know where Felt hangs out? We need to find her, desperately.”
“You’re very strange. You don’t want to find her. She’s a very dangerous person, you know”, she says.
“Well tell me where she is, then!” you say quite loudly, losing your patience as the waitress backs away from you in fear.
“I don’t know where she hangs out. Nobody knows where she lives. Just leave me alone, or I’ll call the guards!” she shouts as she turns and runs up the stairs.

You go back to tell Emilia.
“Great, this is good”, she says. “Now all we have to do is find a place to hide until Felt turns up. So, where should we hide?”
“Wait a second, Felt might not come back to the inn for a long time, particularly after a major theft! Isn’t there a place in this capital in which thieves tend to operate, or live?”
“Well, of course there are a few places in which thieves tend to hang out and operate, but I wouldn’t know where Felt lives. Also, we might be better off searching for her downtown, as it’s possible that she’s already taken the medallion elsewhere.”
“I’ll scout the city for her,” you say “while you stay here.”
“No”, Emilia says. “I need to find that medallion, and I’m the one who allowed it to get stolen. I wasn’t careful enough. We are going together.”
You both leave the inn in order to search for Felt downtown.
“Is it always so damn cold here?” you ask as you start running.
“In cold season, yes”, Emilia replies.
“Anyway, Emilia, do you even know how this Felt person looks like? The waitress at the inn told me she was around fourteen years old, and very small”, you say.
Emilia suddenly stops.
“What? She’s fourteen?” Emilia says, revealing that she didn’t know how old Felt was. “How the hell did I not know that it was a child who stole my medallion?”
You sigh, and say “Well, you are not much older yourself.”
“I’m eighteen”, says Emilia.
“Yeah, but you are still a kid”, you say.
“What was that?” says Emilia angrily.
“Let’s calm down and focus on the matter at hand. Surely fourteen year old thieves like this Felt person must be under the care of someone, and likely she doesn’t have parents, regular parents at least, who discipline her. Maybe Felt is an orphan?”
Emilia says “I don’t care about her past life. I just want my medallion back, and I’m not leaving this city until I get it. Now let’s go.”
You follow Emilia as she starts running once again. She seems to be getting angrier by the minute, and the fact that she’s a little kid isn’t really calming you down.

You run through the slums of the city, heading towards the loot house. Along the way, you see multiple merchants getting robbed and businessmen getting pickpocketed. The guards are around, but either can’t be bothered to care or are in on it. You knock on the door of the loot house, and a big man with dark skin asks you with a low voice what the hell do you want.
“I’m Natsuki Subaru, and I’m broke beyond compare. What’s your name?”
“I’m Rom, the one they call the strongest man in this city that doesn’t work in a brothel.”, says Rom, opening the door. “Some call me Old Man Rom. And who is this young girl with you?”
“This is my companion, and she’s really concerned about her stuff. Hey, do you know a girl called Felt?”
Rom stiffens after hearing Felt’s name being mentioned.
“What do you want with Felt?”
“She stole something of mine”, says Emilia, barely disguising her anger. “Obviously I want to get it back.”
“Sorry, kids”, says an old man passing by. “Felt is no longer welcome here. I’ll tell you what happened to her though: she fell in love.”
“What are you talking about? She’s just a little girl who robs people for a living.”
“True. But the man she fell in love with is a proper gentleman. She left her old life and moved to the fairy village, a place where only spirits live. It’s a beautiful place, just up the river, you can’t miss it. Now I have to go, my friends are calling me. I’ll just leave by saying that love is a wonderful thing. Even if you don’t believe me, I don’t care.”
The old man leaves.
“What on Earth was that man going on about?”, you ask.
“We get those kinds of loonies all over the slums”, says Rom. “Don’t mind them. More importantly, Felt is very important to me. I won’t allow you to hurt her in any way.”
“What are you on about?”, asks Emilia.
“Felt is my adoptive daughter. Now that her mother’s dead, I’m all she’s got.”
“Listen, Rom, we don’t want to hurt Felt. We just need to retrieve that medallion. If we need to pay, we’ll pay.”
You hear someone approaching you from a nearby bridge. Emilia and you turn towards the noise. You see a young small teenager with blond hair and big eyes, who seems very athletic overall. She has a dagger hanging from her belt. The teenage girl approaches you carefully. The teenager seems afraid, but she also looks determined.
“Who are you? What do you want?”
“My name is Subaru. I’m looking for a girl called Felt. I want to help her.”
The girl takes a step back.
“Help her how?”
“I want to relieve her of the weight of a valuable item she’s stolen”, you say.
The girl seems to relax. She sits down on the floor, hugging her knees. She seems very tired all of a sudden.
“So you’re not here to kill her?”
“No, we just want to talk.”
The girl extends her hand.
“How much are you ready to pay for it?”, the girl says.
“So you are Felt?”, you ask.
“Yes.”
“… How much are you looking for?”
“I’d like an even 1000 gold coins.”
You blink in surprise. For a poor orphan teenager, that’s an awful lot of money. You wonder if this girl is worth it.
“That sounds like a very large amount of money”, you say.
“It is, but I think you’ll find it worthwhile.”
Emilia speaks in anger.
“I have a different idea”, Emilia says. She raises her hands and a cold mist forms in front of them. The mist coalesces into sharp, fist-sized ice shards which point towards the teenage girl Felt. “Give me my medallion or else I’ll turn you into a statue of ice.”
Felt’s eyes widen in fright, but then she shows a smile.
“You’re that princess aren’t you?” Felt says. “I’ve heard about you. But wait a second, you have silver hair, and you look like an elf… Don’t tell me that you are…!”
Felt snaps her fingers and a fireball appears in her hand.
“I’ll give you one last chance. Give me the medallion or else…”
“I recognize you now! You’re that princess who is also an infamous wizard. I’ve heard about you!”
“Give me my medallion!”, Emilia says, raising her hands, which are now filled with shimmering, molten ice shards.
You step forward and raise your hands out to try to calm Emilia and Felt down.
“Please, you two! Nobody needs to die! Felt, please! Emilia is serious, and she must have backing beyond just her own ice-based powers. You could steal some other stuff! Just give Emilia her medallion!”
Felt seems confused by this.
“Why should I trust you? You’re obviously on her side.”
You think quickly.
“I’m not on anybody’s side in general. Or in everybody’s side, depending on how you look at it. I came to this world just a few days ago. I’m not from this world, I came from Earth, which is another planet, maybe in another dimension. What I meant to say is that there’s crazier shit out there that just returning a medallion you stole back to the person who you stole it from, and that person, Emilia, happens to be a powerful magician who can thrust ice shards into you!”
“He’s telling the truth. I’m not going to hurt you. Please, just return the medallion.”
“Fine!” Felt screams out, and angrily flings the medallion out of her pocket and onto the ground. Emilia picks it up, and Felt backs off.
“Here,” She hisses. “Take it. I don’t want anything to do with this nonsense.”
“Thank you. You’re lucky I’m a forgiving person.”
You look at the giant Rom, who stares at you both gravely.
“I think it’s about time we leave this place, Emilia”, you say to her.
“Yes, please! I don’t want to stay here anymore!” She yells.
“You’re free to go”, you tell Felt.
She backs away, and as you turn around to leave, she manages to blurt out:
“Assassins are coming for you. You’ll be killed tomorrow night.”
Emilia’s expression drops.
“What? What does she mean?” Emilia asks.
“Felt, please tell us what you know. How are you sure that assassins are coming for Emilia?”
“I dunno, I just saw a group of people going into a tavern and they were all dressed in black. One them had long, silver hair. They all seemed to be wearing very dark shades, even inside the tavern. I… Think they’re coming to kill you.”
Felt seems like she wants to say something else.
“What else do you know?”
“Nothing”, Felt replies.
“This must be an empty threat. Felt is a teenager, after all. Let’s leave the slums, Emilia. Consider this job done.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. Let’s go get some ice cream.”
Emilia nods, and turns to leave. You turn around, and head in the direction of the exit. As you pass Felt, you say:
“Thanks for the help.”
“What are you talking about? I didn’t help you.”
“If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t have known about the assassins. Goodbye, Felt.”
Emilia is careful to hide her medallion in her outfit so it doesn’t get stolen again any time soon.

You return to the inn in the downtown area of the capital, a much safer place than the slums. Both Emilia and you are very tired. You go to the dining area of the inn and sit down in front of a table.
“I’m really hungry”, you say. “I don’t remember the last time I ate.”
“Well, I got some money. I’ll go buy something.”
Emilia goes to the counter to order food, and you wait for her to come back. Food never tastes as good as it does in those moments when you’re starving. Once you’re done with your meal, you reach for your wallet, but you remember that it got stolen by those thugs who assaulted you, and even if you had the wallet with you, you wouldn’t be able to pay for the food with money from Earth.
Sheepishly, you inform Emilia that you have no money to pay for dinner. Emilia looks up at you, and says:
“I was just going to say that if we pool our money together, we’d have enough for a dinner.”
“What happens if I don’t have any money either?”
“Then I guess we’ll dine for free. I can always steal the food without getting caught, anyway.”
“Oh, please”, you ask Emilia. “We’ve already had enough trouble already. Please sit down, enjoy your dinner, and pay for both our dinners afterwards. I’m sure you have far more money than me.”
“I feel like this is a play”, you say. “I’ve fallen into some strange world and am trapped in a play.”
You sit down on a chair in the dining room with Emilia.
“So, this is what… What’s the word?” You ask.
“Real life?”, suggests Emilia.
“Yeah, that… It feels weird. I feel like I’m in a dream.”
“You are in a dream. You just have one with rules.”
You look in Emilia’s direction, blinking. Then you shake your head vigorously.
“Oh no! I’m getting a headache!”, you exclaim, pressing your hands against your temples.
“Tell me about it”, she says. “I’ve been getting headaches for as long as I can remember.”
“Let’s stop talking in favor of the delicious dinner.”, you say.
You dig into your food, devouring it mindlessly, as does Emilia. It’s wonderful.
You eat happily for a few minutes, until you remember that you’re a gentleman. Pulling up the sleeve of your jacket, you see an analog watch embedded into your wrist.
“Have you ever seen something like this watch I have on my wrist? It’s a technological device from back on Earth. I doubt you have them on this fantasy world of yours.”
“I’ve actually never seen such a thing”, Emilia says.
Emilia turns to her food, and keeps eating, with Puck, her cat spirit, being happy about getting more food. You eat a few more bites, then put your silverware down on your plate.
“So, you’re a spirit, right?” You say.
“Yep. What gave it away?”, says Puck.
“Well, you are a talking cat who hangs out with Emilia, who is a mage, and you are also mostly transparent at times. I didn’t meet many talking cats back when I lived on Earth.”, you say.
“Yes, yes. I know all about my circumstances. Stop wasting time and ask me the real questions you want to ask.”
“Okay then, did you help Emilia get her magic?”
“Well… Sort of.”
“What does ‘sort of’ mean?”
“It means that while I wasn’t directly helping her, my actions helped lead to her getting her powers. So in a way, yes, I helped. Are you going to eat that?”
You look down at your plate, where some sort of roasted chicken sits. You’re no longer hungry. You push the plate towards Emilia, who takes a piece of chicken and eats it.
“What are you going to do now that you have your medallion, Emilia? Do you live in this city, if you don’t mind me asking?”, you ask.
“I’m actually going to go back to the mansion where I live. It’s a day and a half away in a dragon carriage”, Emilia says.
“Oh, you live in a mansion! Does the mansion belong to you?”, you ask.
“No, it belongs to another wealthy lord. He lets some people live in the mansion as part of a deal.”
“What’s the lord’s name?”
“Roswaal.”
You feel a sudden chill go through you.
“Something wrong?”, Emilia asks.
“No… Nothing…”, you say.
In truth, something is wrong. You feel anxious.
“Listen, Emilia”, you say. “I don’t know if I look the part, but I’m broke, as in I have no money, and no place to live. Is the any chance that you can help me?”
“Oh geez. I’m not sure, but let me think… You could come with me to the mansion and talk to the master of the house, Lord Roswaal. He’s a bit eccentric and has some weird obsessions, but he’s nice overall. If you can convince him that you’re trustworthy, then maybe he’ll let you stay.”
“Perfect. Let’s go right now. I don’t want to waste any time.”
You walk towards the door with Emilia. You can feel Puck zipping around you in excitement.
“Are you sure? Wouldn’t you rather wait until tomorrow? It’s getting late. Leaving on a dragon carriage would be safer in the morning.”
“You know better than me. Let’s wait for the morning then.”
Emilia pays for separate rooms at the inn. At the next morning you both take a shower, and when you feel ready Emilia guides you to a store where she rents a dragon carriage. Before you know it you are sitting next to Emilia as she guides the reins of the carriage out of Lugunica, the capital of the Kingdom of Lugunica, towards the mansion of lord Roswaal, which is still a day and a half away.