I Gave Birth to This Thing (Poetry)

My pregnancy went right for the first few weeks,
But then my son began to move about
Like an acrobat on stilts
Who isn’t the slightest bit sure-footed

My son grew bigger and bigger,
Although I barely nourished him,
And when he finished his dance
(Or rather, his somersault),
It burst out through my navel
And fell onto my bed with a plop;
I had given birth to a pink, slimy egg,
That I called, after much thought,
A baby

The thing was still warm from my womb;
The egg’s soft shell felt like velvet in my hands,
And I stroked it gently as if it were a living creature
That would soon hatch into a new life form

(My thoughts turned back to the moment
When a sperm came near to breaking through my egg
And made that strange movement
Which was the prelude to a unique creation,
One that was doomed from start to finish
By some cosmic accident or mistake,
And now the whole process appeared
Less mysterious than cruel)

At last the miracle occurred: the egg split open
And out came out crawling this beautiful baby boy:
A tangled mass of tentacles, beaks and teeth,
And a single eye, which rolled around madly

My son didn’t look at all like me,
And he also could speak telepathically
(I can only make out words
In between bouts of nausea and fainting spells)

“Mommy, can you hear what I’m saying?”
“Of course”
“Can you understand what I say?”
“Why not? You’re my son”
“You mean that you can see my thoughts
Floating there above my head?”
“Yes”
“What are they thinking now?”
“That you’ve just been born,
And that I should be proud of you”

My poor son couldn’t stand up properly
Without falling over,
So every time he moved his mass,
He got himself in trouble

Between wrinkles, his body hid tiny mouths,
Which contained fangs like those of sharks;
At night he would scream with pain,
And in the morning he’d cry out again

Instead of suckling on my tits,
This son of mine latched on to my skin
With half a dozen of his tentacles,
And sucked through my pores
Until the red stuff trickled out
From where I was bleeding inside

His little eye stared at me blankly
As if it were made of glass
While he sucked away at my flesh;
Afterwards, when he got tired,
He let go and fell down on the floor
In front of the mirror where I gazed at myself

After having been fed upon by him,
My breasts bled so much
That I couldn’t staunch the wounds,
Which itched and hurt terribly

My eyes looked dead;
I dreamed about black birds flying overhead,
I dreamt of the moon
As I was carried along under water

Sometimes my son was silent,
At other times he babbled unintelligibly;
All that was obvious to my eyes
Were the bubbles of blood around his beaks,
And the blood that ran down onto his belly
To mix with the yellow-green fluid
Of the pus that filled him up;
Also, slime covered him like an orange scarf

One evening as I lay asleep,
My son came down from his perch high above
And took a bite out of my breasts;
The bitten flesh turned black and fell away,
But he ate these bits of meat and sucked
On the wounds left behind

When dawn broke next day,
Both of my breasts were gone;
They probably flew far away
Into some other nest

When my son grew hungrier, he ate me
Until he sucked the marrow from my bones;
My blood is now all used up,
The tissues of my limbs are rotting away inside,
The nerves have died,
My bones are hollow,
My skull contains only air;
I am now just another victim
Of motherly devotion

I can never get rid of my spawn,
Not if I try forever;
After him, I don’t want any more children,
Nor any more slimy eggs

I will wait until I become old enough
For someone else to take care of me;
It will surely feel much better than tending
To this abominable son of mine,
Who has eaten everything there was to eat
Of what once belonged to me

‘I Gave Birth to This Thing’ by Jon Ureña

Interspecies Misdemeanours, Pt. 3 (Short Story)


Although the sight of the two aliens had rendered me speechless for a moment, I had to reply to my friend’s idiotic comment.
“I don’t know what you mean, Frank. They look perfectly human to me.”
Frank shook his head, then gestured nervously towards them.
“What are you talking about? That guy is covered in fur and has four legs!”
The short, bald alien clicked and chirped to his pal, who grunted back. Then they started walking towards us, slowly but with purpose.
The three of us froze. Before we knew it, it was too late to leave through the oval entry of the spaceship. We retreated further into the dimly lit interior, until my back hit the side of one of the seats. The two aliens stepped through and stood there bathed in blue light, staring at us. The furry alien’s eyes glowed like a cat’s.
My mouth was dry, and I felt dizzy. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I think the three of us friends were frozen in place, unable to move or speak. My heart pounded fast, because this was the first time I’d seen aliens, and they were both terrifying.
I could barely make out very wide, narrow eyes behind the tinted lenses of the bald alien’s aviator glasses, but I could tell he was glaring at me. His face was a mess of either wrinkles or scars, or a combination of both.
“Is this your spaceship, by any chance?” the short alien said in a voice raspy like an old man’s.
I heard Betty gasping, but I was relieved. Of course, these guys were so advanced and civilized that they had to speak English.
“Wait, doesn’t this spaceship belong to you?” Frank asked, bewildered.
“Yes, it’s our spaceship,” I said. “We came here from Alpha Centauri. It’s a planet far away, beyond the galaxy.”
The bald alien’s eyes narrowed even further, and his large nostrils flared.
“No, it’s not. It’s our spaceship, the one we landed here a short time ago. Which means that it isn’t yours, and you shouldn’t be wandering into other people’s property!”
I was startled by how hostile he sounded, although his intimidation factor was lessened because he had to look up at me. The tall, furry guy merely looked at us with his coin eyes, emotionless, but we needed to pacify the shorter one, who seemed in charge.
“Okay, okay,” I said, trying to sound confident and mature. I stuck out my hand so the bald alien would shake it. “I’m Sam.”
The short alien’s expression remained grim. I looked down at his four-fingered right hand, which ended in long claws, but he didn’t move it, and more importantly, I recognized a gun holster attached to the belt of his black uniform. I could make out part of the grip.
As my blood ran cold, suddenly the tall alien stepped forward and shook my hand firmly. I felt a slight pain in my wrist. It felt like shaking a dog’s paw, if the dog had human-like fingers. I could barely dare to look up at the tall alien’s furry face, which lacked a nose and ears. His mouth opened wide, revealing rows of pointed teeth and a tongue that looked as if it was covered in tiny hairs. He was so close that I could feel the heat from his body, and I smelled a strange odor coming from him, a mix of rotten meat and something sweet.
“It’s bad manners to leave someone hanging,” the tall alien said, with a deep, gravelly voice that sounded like a bear growling.
“Ah… Much appreciated.”
I never thought we’d encounter such an extraterrestrial creature, let alone speak to him, but I was excited to discover something that nobody else had seen. That’s how young and adventurous I was back then.
“So, who are you guys?” Frank asked nervously, but with a look of determination.
“You are avoiding to tell me why you three came into our spaceship without permission,” the bald alien said, “but I’ll tell you: we are extraterrestrials, as in from another planet, and we have advanced technology, which is how we ended up coming here.”
“W-what’s your name?” Frank asked.
The bald alien sighed.
“My name is Krayt X-9.”
“What a stupid name.”
Krayt X-9 gasped and snapped his head back, appaled.
“Can I call you Krayt?” I asked.
“I don’t care what you call me,” the bald alien grumbled. “Who the hell are you humanlings supposed to be?”
Frank pointed at me.
“This is Sam. He’s the best friend I’ve ever met.”
“I don’t care,” the bald alien said. “You all look dumb.”
“We look dumb?!” Betty snapped behind us. “You two are the ugliest people I’ve ever seen!”
The taller alien, who was twirling fur on his left hand with his other one, stared at Betty through his round, flat, shiny eyes, and answered calmly.
“Every species looks ugly to everyone else.”
“That’s not true,” Betty insisted. “Cats and dogs are beautiful, but you two are like space rats.”
I wanted to bonk my attractive friend in the head. We were already trapped in the spaceship of these two alien freaks, which made me sick and anxious, and I had a gut feeling I wouldn’t like what would come next.
“You in particular look like a cross between a deformed monkey and a bear,” Betty said to the furry alien.
The furry alien shrugged.
“Noble creatures.”
“Not the monkeys,” I said.
Betty pointed at Krayt X-9 with a trembling finger.
“And you, I think you’re the most repulsive looking thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on. I mean, I know it’s rude to say that about a person from outer space, but I’m just saying.”
I put my hand on Betty’s shoulder and begged with my eyes for her to shut up, then turned my head to address the aliens.
“In any case, don’t pay much attention to Betty’s insults. She has a good reason to despise aliens, having lost one arm because an extraterrestrial bit her in her youth, before anyone in the neighborhood knew how dangerous the world truly was.”
“I don’t think your species can regrow limbs,” the furry alien said. “Anyway, I am called Yash.”
“But Sam is right,” Betty said, “and you two don’t seem dangerous, even though you are hideous.”
The bald alien seemed about to complain, but Frank spoke over him.
“You’re crazy! Didn’t you hear my dad? The aliens killed a guy with a hammer!”
“That’s just a story. And even if it’s true, they haven’t done anything to me besides damage my eyes with their ugliness.”
“They have a gun,” I whispered in Betty’s ear. “A ray gun, probably. They could kill you in a second.”
“If we let them.”
Yash shifted his weight in his four legs.
“Why did the three of you humans come here?”
“We were exploring,” I said, trying to sound calm.
“Exploring? You mean spying on us?” Krayt X-9 asked.
“This planet has already been thoroughly explored,” Yash said.
I felt a chill run through me. It was true. We weren’t tourists. This wasn’t an ordinary trip, but a mission.
“No, no, we didn’t spy on you!” I said as I raised my hands to pacify them. “We saw you guys flying the ship into the forest, and we figured we would come and take a peek around. There might have been something interesting inside.”
“What, to steal?” Krayt X-9 insisted with contempt. “Very appropriate for a species descended from apes!”
“They think we are animals,” Betty whispered in my ear, which made me shiver. “My mom says that sometimes human beings look like animals to other people. She also said that some of her relatives are part cat.”
I looked at the aliens, and spoke as firmly as possible.
“We aren’t thieves. We’re explorers, scientists, who want to learn more about your culture. We are not the same kind of people that the Nazis or Communists would be.”
Krayt X-9 snorted with disdain.
“Whatever. Now you idiots have realized that there’s nothing of interest in our ship. Is that correct?”
Betty and I nodded, and Frank shrugged his shoulders. I wasn’t sure what we had expected to find.
“Then,” Krayt X-9 continued, “I’m sorry you wasted your time with such a pointless task. We suggest you leave immediately.”
“Why did you land?” Betty asked. “I bet I know why.”
The bald alien scowled at Betty.
“Oh, I’m sure you do.”
“Don’t you dare say it,” I whispered angrily.
“You two needed to pee,” Betty said.
I could feel my face turning red. Frank looked away, embarrassed by our friend’s comment.
“What a preposterous notion,” Krayt X-9 said. “We did away with those means of disposing waste long ago in our evolutionary line. Your species is the one who is always handling pee and shit.”
“I’m afraid that’s true,” Yash said. “Humans have to carry their own excretions.”
“So why did you land, then?” Frank asked, curious.
“We were just tired of spending so much time sitting in our ship,” the furry alien, Yash, answered. “We wanted to stretch our legs, take a walk in peace.”
“A peace that has been broken by three stupid humans breaking into our ship,” Krayt X-9 added.
“I don’t think you should talk about us like we’re animals,” Betty said, her voice shaking slightly.
“You are animals, but most importantly, your species is a bunch of monkeys. You’re all descended from the ape family. You have no right to speak of intelligence when you can’t even speak properly.”
“We don’t need to explain ourselves to you. And you are not very polite.”
I stopped facepalming and took a deep breath.
“We didn’t break in, we just opened the hatch. You two aliens are the ones who didn’t lock your spaceship.”
The bald alien fixed his narrow gaze on me.
“Don’t you understand how coming into a ship that doesn’t belong to you can be interpreted as a violent act?” he asked, sounding increasingly irritated.
I shrugged my shoulders and tried to look nonchalant. I was still scared of these two aliens, but I hated when people told me I couldn’t explore some cool place.
“We thought that maybe you guys had landed because you were lost. So we came over to see if you needed any help. That’s all.”
“You are just changing your story now.”
Someone touched my shoulder suddenly, which startled me. It was Betty’s hand, and feeling her warmth through the thin fabric of my shirt made me warmer. But she had put her other hand on Frank, so it wasn’t an intimate gesture.
“Hey, it’s already gotten late, and the five of us are friends now,” Betty said. “We can sleep inside the spaceship until tomorrow morning, right?”
“What?” Krayt X-9 asked in disbelief, his raspy voice turning high-pitched. “Of course you can’t!”
Frank’s face lit up with excitement.
“That sounds amazing! If only we had brought a picnic basket, so we could have lunch inside the spaceship.”
Betty let out a noise as if she suddenly remembered something. She grabbed the backpack, which was hanging from Frank’s shoulder, and she opened it.
Krayt X-9 took a step forward, suddenly nervous.
“Hey, what are you doing? What are you pulling out?”
It was the box full of sandwiches. She opened it, and the scent of bread and jam made me salivate. She stretched her arms holding the box towards the crabby alien as if presenting a gift.
“We offer you a meal!” Betty said sweetly. “I suggest you two eat quickly before your food spoils.”
Krayt X-9 stepped back and grimaced at the sandwiches.
“Don’t push that disgusting human food towards me.”
Betty gasped, then hung her head low. Tears started accumulating along her lower eyelids.
Frank’s dad was right: these aliens were dangerous. If Krayt X-9 weren’t an alien and he didn’t have a gun, I would have punched his stupid face. I grabbed two of the sandwiches and I took bites of each of them, stuffing my mouth.
“Don’t listen to this prick, Betty!” I said angrily, showering her with crumbs. “He’s from another world, he has no manners and he doesn’t know that one never rejects a sandwich from a girl! And they are delicious, see? I will always be glad to eat your sandwiches!”
I shot Krayt X-9 a challenging stare. He looked away in disgust.
Yash turned his furry hands up.
“Our digestive systems can’t process human food.”
“Say that, then,” I said.
“What do you eat instead? Poop?” Frank asked. “Nevermind, I forgot you guys don’t poo like normal animals. You just poo in a special place.”
“I’m going to ignore you from now on,” Krayt said in a thin voice, barely glancing at Frank.
This was a problem, though. If these aliens couldn’t handle our sandwiches, we didn’t have bargaining chips for them to let us go peacefully.
“Sorry, sorry,” Frank said. “But now that we are here, can we make some sort of deal so you explain how this technology works?”
“You don’t listen, do you? And what kind of deal are you possibly talking about, little boy? Your species has already invaded our ship and tried to steal from us!”
I lifted a hand to pacify the bald alien.
“There was no stealing going on. Listen, we are big enough to admit our mistakes, and I apologize if we caused you harm by trespassing on your spaceship. I also forgive you for making Betty cry.”
Krayt X-9 snorted at me contemptuously.
“Apologize? We are not interested in such a cheap apology, and we have no interest whatsoever in hearing you admit that you made an error.”
Frank had wandered back towards the control panel installed in the wall in front of the smallest seat, which I guess belonged to Krayt X-9. My friend was running his fingertips across the weird gauges.
“Hey, do not touch anything!” Krayt X-9 complained.
Frank shrugged his shoulders in a way that suggested he was not intimidated by the warning.
“I’m curious about what kind of power source this ship uses, and whether it is nuclear or solar powered. Are there any solar panels? I would love to examine them in detail, and find out if they are able to produce electricity without relying on fossil fuels. Not that there’s anything wrong with fossils.”
“As if we were still primitive beings without manners nor intelligence! Fossil fuels! Don’t bother me with nonsense, we aren’t going to tell you anything about how our ship works. You humans cannot be trusted with any advanced technology! You would endanger the safety of everyone else.” He points at the long stick I had rested against a wall. “And what is a part of a tree suddenly doing in my ship?”
“That’s called a walking stick,” I said casually, “and it was given to me by my parents as a gift because they know that I am fascinated by nature and the outdoors.”
“Your parents gave you a wooden toy. That doesn’t mean you can bring it inside the ship.”
I laughed.
“It’s a walking stick, and it’s made out of wood. It’s harmless and won’t hurt anyone. In fact, I’ve used it to help me get around when I was exploring the forest near our house. If you want, I will show you how I use it. I have been using it for years now, and my dad taught me how to care for it properly.”
Frank was kneeling on the floor to rummage through his backpack. He pulled out his camera and started fiddling with it.
“At least we can go home with pictures of aliens! A few shots will suffice. Nobody else would believe us otherwise. Betty, can you pose next to the furry guy?”
Krayt X-9 let out a noise of indignation, but Yash was quick to approach Frank and lower my friend’s hand as he was about to snap a photo of the bald alien.
“Can’t let you take photos, sorry,” Yash said. “We aren’t even supposed to be here, nor be seen by human beings. It’s how it works.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“According to who?”
Yash turned towards me and shrugged.
“It’s due to the quarantine thing.”
“Quarantine? What are you talking about? Is there a virus going around?”
Krayt X-9 snorted and shook his head.
“Yes, exactly that. This whole place is just a festering virus.”
“Are you aliens going to get infected by the viruses we have, like it happened to the Indians? Because if so, you might want to be careful. There are diseases in this world that can kill a person in a matter of minutes.”
“No, you moron. You human beings are the virus! They put the quarantine in place because your species is as violent and irrational as they come, and the Coalition can’t allow you to get out of your nest unless you get your shit together. Which you never will! You’ve been like this for hundreds of thousands of years.”
I gasped.
“You’re wrong. We have evolved a lot in recent centuries, and we are much more civilized than you think. For example, we haven’t fought a war in a few years.”
Krayt X-9 rolled his eyes.
“So why did this Coalition send you here, then?” Frank asked.
“We were just taking a break,” Yash said.
I hadn’t stopped staring at the short alien’s tinted glasses.
“You act all uppity, Krayt, but you two are probably criminals who came down to our home to steal from us.”
Krayt stared at me coldly as he stood motionless, except for the slightest flicker in the muscles under the skin.
“What the fuck did you just say to me?”
“Cool it. You are going to make Betty cry again.”
“I’m fine,” Betty said.
“I know all about you aliens,” I said as I jabbed a finger at the bald prick. “You’ve been kidnapping humans and doing weird experiments with their butts for years! And you call us uncivilized? I’m sure you have dissected many of us for fun!”
“The extraterrestrials who kidnap humans are another group, and they aren’t on our side either,” Yash said. “Don’t lump us together with them.”
When I looked back at Krayt, he had stepped closer to me, and was staring as if he were containing himself from strangling me.
“Let me tell you something about your species,” he said coldly. “Years ago I was part of a team that came to this planet to study its soil and to try to figure out why it’s so toxic. It’s nothing but garbage compared to the planets we know about. Suddenly we found ourselves being shot at by uniformed men, and two of my crewmates got hit. Luckily, we managed to escape, but my mates died on the ship.”
“That’s terrible,” Betty said.
Krayt X-9 was confused for a moment about Betty’s sympathy.
“Yeah, it was horrible. But the worst thing is that we couldn’t save them. It was a terrible mistake, coming here in the first place. Human beings are dangerous creatures. They have an inferiority complex and a tendency to attack others for no reason!”
“Well, we weren’t the ones who hurt anybody,” I said. “We were just curious about your ship. And we knew nothing about a quarantine.”
For a while, Betty had been having trouble to breathe properly, maybe because of the fear, and she started having a coughing fit. Krayt X-9 snapped his head towards her.
“Yes, you’re right.” Betty said in a thin voice, then coughed and took deep breaths as Frank patted her back. “We shouldn’t be here, but it’s too late now.”
“It’s not just about some individual humans,” Krayt X-9 insisted. “There were also these guys we know who came to this nasty planet to have a good time. They landed on a long strip of paved ground. That was the very first time they visited you. But one of those primitive, toxic vehicles you call cars stopped in front of the ship, and its occupants yelled at the extraterrestrials for blocking the road. Then the humans got out of the car and started beating our guys up! They hauled ass out of this wretched planet and pledged to never return!”
“Yeah, there’s no way that ever happened,” I said. “And they shouldn’t have blocked the road anyway.”
Krayt X-9’s fists were trembling as Betty doubled over in an asthma attack. She hacked up phlegm.
“Shit, Betty! Did you bring your inhaler?” Frank asked, worried.
Betty nodded, but she couldn’t talk through the coughing. She pointed at the backpack. As Frank was shoving his arm inside, Krayt X-9 walked up to Betty, grabbed her arm and started dragging her towards the oval entry of the spaceship. My friend couldn’t even let out a noise of surprise without coughing more.
“That’s enough! I won’t have a diseased human messing up my ship!”
“No way!” I shouted. “You don’t grab girls like that!”
I jumped at the bald alien and punched him in the face. Krayt X-9 stumbled backwards. He stood there for a long second and a half, until pink, liquid worms started pouring from his huge nostrils. He covered his nose with one hand, and the liquid dripped between his fingers.
“You are trying to start a fight with us,” Krayt X-9 muttered. “Well, we can’t have that.”
Frank realized it was on. He pushed the bridge of his glasses up, then turned around and threw a punch at Yash. However, the furry alien caught Frank’s fist, who complained inarticulately, and then Yash pushed my friend. Frank fell on his ass.
Betty scrambled and coughed her way to the large stick resting against the wall. She picked it up, twisted around and hurled the stick at Yash, who was turning his palms towards the ceiling when the stick bonked him in the head. It snapped back. When Yash lowered his head again, he stared at Betty expressionless, but then again his eyes were lidless and uniformly pickle green.
“Hey, don’t do that.”
I felt a warm sensation at the base of my neck. Something metallic was pressing into my skin. Krayt X-9, bleeding profusely from his nose, had unholstered his gun, which I could barely see from this angle. As I opened my mouth to speak, the bald alien kicked me in the abdomen. I staggered backwards. My heel hit the lower edge of the oval entry, which caused me to somersault onto the grass of the clearing.
Krayt X-9 walked out of his spaceship, still gripping his futuristic gun. He stepped aside to let Yash pass, who was holding up both Frank and Betty, as if they weighed as much as puppies. Frank was too stunned to complain, and Betty kept coughing. Tears were jumping from her eyes. Yash dropped my friends carefully on a bed of tall grass. As soon as he released them, they pushed themselves back.
I tried to stand up, but Krayt X-9 closed his hand around my face. His long claws scratched my scalp. His fingers were cold and clammy; they reminded me of a spider’s legs. He pushed me back. I got a still shot of the chest of his uniform, which was stained with pink blood, before Krayt X-9 lifted his right hand to point with his gun at my head. The white lines around his mouth got creased as he smirked.
“You got your chances to talk. Either you die, or I will kill you.”
I noticed the tendons in his shooting arm contracting, but Yash knocked the gun from his pal’s hand as I heard a sizzling discharge. A red beam had grown in my vision for a split second, and had struck the ground near my head. A patch of grass had disintegrated. What remained in the edges smelled like it was burning.
Krayt X-9 grimaced angrily as he looked up at the furry alien. The bald alien chirped in his language, but I understood his disbelief. Yash shrugged calmly and grunted in response.
I could have sworn that I lost consciousness for a moment as the phrase ‘this ugly alien just fucking shot me’ echoed in my mind. The next thing I knew, a bunch of human adults were shouting at us from different directions, and very close.
“Drop the gun! Drop it now!”
As I tried to stand up with my trembling legs, I saw Krayt X-9 paralyzed in the act of crouching to pick up his ray gun. We were surrounded by three nervous cops who were pointing their standard issue pistols at the murderous alien as if they couldn’t wait to blast a dozen holes through him.
Krayt X-9 was shaking, but let go of his gun. When he straightened his back, he opened his mouth to speak. The nearest cop lunged forward and tackled Krayt to the ground. The human landed with a thud on top of the alien’s shoulders, who struggled and kicked at the air in desperation.
After one of the other cops kicked the ray gun away, they approached the tall, furry alien cautiously. Yash merely stared at them as his arms hung by his sides.
“Put your hands behind your back,” one of the cops said. “Don’t try anything stupid.”
Yash sighed, turned around and obeyed. The cops handcuffed him.
One of the cops handling him, a guy in his forties who had a ketchup stain near his moustache, furrowed his brow as he stared at Yash’s alien face.
“You are one odd lookin’ fella.”
“Hey, you also look weird to me.”
While the cops led the three aliens out of the clearing towards the path, Krayt X-9 kept struggling and yammering something about the Coalition, but I could barely make out what he was saying over Betty’s coughing. One of the cops bothered to address us.
“Go home soon, kids. Your parents are worried about you.”
“Sure,” I said, stunned.
Once the adults were gone and I ceased to hear Krayt’s complaints, I went straight for the spot where the ray gun had fallen, but it was gone. I guess one of the cops took it.
Frank was kneeling next to Betty as he grabbed her inhaler out of his backpack. I ran to Betty’s side and I held her head. Something about the way she pursed her pink lips around the mouth of the inhaler sent shivers down my spine. She coughed a couple of times before finally taking a deep breath and blowing the contents of the device into her lungs. Her face relaxed. She wiped her tears with the back of her hands.
“Are you okay?” I asked her.
Betty nodded.
“I’m sorry,” Frank said to me. “This is all my fault.”
I wasn’t sure what he was referring to.
“You are forgiven, Frank.”
I took deep breaths. My brain was rattled. I guessed there was a parallel universe in which that ray gun put a big hole through my head.
“My lungs feel like they’re burning,” Betty complained in a pitiful, raspy voice. “I’m really glad those fucking bastards left us!”
“That was amazing, though,” Frank said. He stood straight and stared up at the huge spacecraft. “Those aliens looked like dinosaurs.”
“Damn it, Frank,” I said. “They looked nothing like dinosaurs. Stop it.”
“Are you okay, though?” Betty asked my way.
When I looked down towards her, she was staring at me with her big brown eyes. Her pigtails were resting on the chest of her dress. I knew, even though I had never held a girl in my arms like a man holds a woman, that this was the moment when my old friend Betty and I should kiss passionately. I felt my face getting warmer.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said as my heart jumped on my chest. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because that ugly alien almost killed you, Sam. And you punched him because he had grabbed me…”
“W-well, I had to defend my girlfriend, didn’t I?”
I bit my tongue so hard that it hurt for a while. When I dared to look at her in the eyes again, Betty had blushed.
“Your girlfriend? Since when?”
“Since now.”
Betty averted her gaze, and fiddled with the hem of her skirt.
“You can’t just decide that unilaterally… You are a weirdo, Sam.”
I kept staring at her while my heart cooled down, as I imagined that she would lift her gaze again and face mine, but she didn’t. When she lowered her head and coughed, I walked a few steps away from my friends.
I don’t know how much time passed before any of us spoke again, but Frank changed the subject.
“I bet we could get a lot of money for the alien spaceship. Maybe we could sell it to that guy at the auto plant and use the cash to finally buy a car.”
“You idiot,” Betty said, deflated. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. And you would regret it later when you have to pay taxes on that kind of income.”
Frank was holding a cigarette between his lips while he struck a match. He lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply before blowing the smoke into the night sky.
“I know it’s risky, but the ship must hide some kind of advanced technology, right? We could try to pry open the wall, pull out some cables or whatever. Forget about a new car, we could even buy a boat so we can sail around the world.”
I sat down wearily on the grass. My chest hurt, I wanted to go home.
“That’s nothing but another empty dream,” I muttered. “There’s no way we are getting rich off aliens.”
After a few seconds, Betty let out a long sigh.
“The government people will come and take it away. We’ll never see it again.”
I lifted my gaze in the direction of where the cops led those two weird guys away. I guess they’ll end up in some holding cell next to thieves, burglars, and drunk men who hit their wives.
I couldn’t stop my hands from trembling. I feared for the future of my species.
“I knew that the aliens were dangerous, but I never thought they’d be evil,” I said in a thin voice.
Frank huffed and wheezed. I noticed Betty standing up and patting the skirt of her dress.
“Let’s just go home.”
I had been hoping for an adventure that would make us feel special. I think that was why the three of us had been exploring around since we were children. We were fifteen years old, we weren’t supposed to be scared of anything. I wanted to experience new and exciting things.

It’s been many years since the last time I faced violent poltergeists or armies of robots, visited space stations, was pursued by giant monsters, or punched an alien. But whenever I feel like my life has been reduced to bills, long commutes, mortgages, and a body that only gets rustier, I can close my eyes and remember my old friends Frank and Betty, and all the good times we used to have.

THE END

The Well-Hung Duchess of Cosmographica (Poetry)

Bogdana, duchess of the dark motherland,
The forgotten kingdoms of Cosmographica,
Lady and mistress, sovereign of the night,
Queen of the darkest castle, the greatest conqueress,
Rules her subjects through terror and sex

Her castle stands high above all others,
And its towers are made from gold
Few dare rebel against her anymore;
They know she destroys everyone who disobeys

The castle was built three hundred years ago
During Alcindor’s rule as king,
But the man left this country after the war,
And never returned there

Bogdana is his descendant still,
Who rules through the terror and pleasure of sex,
That she uses to maintain the loyalty
Of her vassals, soldiers and slaves

Now Bogdana reigns in this castle, in Alcindor’s place,
And she does not treat her subjects well;
Instead, they serve only to be used by the duchess
Whenever she feels hungry

She’s got the perfect body and face for sex
Her breasts are huge, her hips wide, she’s tall
(About two heads taller than any man)
She’s a beauty who can please any gender

Bogdana was born a miracle from God;
She has two sets of genitals:
A sealed, shriveled vagina,
But the largest, veiniest cock

Beware the evil that hides beneath her skirt,
Those clothes may cover what you shouldn’t see
If anyone ever does gaze upon Bogdana’s cock,
Let alone touch it or look to long upon it,
They will become enslaved by her massive tool
The best way for men to serve her now
Is with their own tongues between her thighs

Her enormous phallus stretches out like a bow
To bend all men, and women as well;
She can break you with a look, but will not hesitate
To fuck a hole open for her own pleasure

Bogdana’s penis doesn’t just end at the pussy;
It ends at the anus too;
Sometimes it extends beyond those openings
And reaches her mouth

Every morning when Bogdana leaves her bedroom,
Us servants gather to see her magnificent bosom
Dressed in silky nightclothes,
Then the the duchess smiles at us
With an expression both terrifying and tender

We can’t contain ourselves, because we admire her
Breathtaking chest, which rises high and proud;
Each of her large mounds sits upon the summit
Of her glorious bosom in an hourglass shape
As her chest rises higher than our heads,
Sometimes we can’t see her face at all

The duchess’ upper half is adorned in pearls
And jewels and precious stones,
And the lower part, covered in smooth white flesh,
Leads to Bogdanas’s delicious ass,
Which she loves to squeeze with each step;
She squeezes so hard that she creates waves,
Which ripple along the floor below,
Causing water and mud everywhere

Bogdana is so powerful, beautiful and big
Nobody knows how to compete with that,
And certainly only the mad would want to;
It would be like trying to fight a hurricane

(As I was sitting to write these words,
The great lady walked into my quarters
And began to remove my clothes;
These days I give myself freely, eagerly,
Because I welcome the privilege of pleasing her,
The mistress who rules over me)

A man could never stand against her frame:
He’d lose in the first minute,
And he’d have to give up and submit
Then, Bogdana would make him pay

The duchess wants subjects who are obedient,
Who sit in a corner like the perfect doll,
Or bow before her to lick her shoes clean
(Or maybe suck out a load of spunk)

Bogdana loves to hear others begging her,
To feel their obedience and helplessness
As they kneel before her,
Bowing and prostrating themselves
Even when their words and actions contradict
What they think of themselves
It fills the duchess with such lusty ecstasy
Oh God… She’s already dripping with precum!

I was a simple peasant in a neighboring country,
But the plundering men of Cosmographia came my way
My farmhouse was destroyed, my older brother killed,
And I was brought over to the duchy as a slave to sell

I was a young maiden back then, shapely and unspoiled,
An innocent village girl who just started having periods
I met Bogdana right off, at my very first inspection;
She sent me straight to her bed instead of her dungeons

I spent days bound by chains in her bedroom
My body ached, with bruises forming everywhere,
Because Bogdana kept beating the shit out of me
(My wrists hurt for months, and my ankles swelled so bad
That I had to hobble and hop all around)

I was a mere child and I had done nothing wrong
Bogdana said that this wasn’t enough torture
“Your only choice left is obedience! Do whatever I ask!”
I didn’t want to suffer anymore,
So I surrendered to do as she demanded,
Which was to serve her monstrous cock
In exchange for some food every now and then

I could see myself reflected in Bogdana’s glistening prick:
I always look tiny compared to the duchess,
With my little breasts, tight little tummy, slender waist,
And my pitiful female sheath, which goes into my body

(The duchess licks at her own chocolate milk
While stretching open the towel in front to reveal
The double organ woman: it’s a mirrored cunt
As it hooks on to its own angry bacon neck
God damn Bogdana! What is that thing?!

I feel the cockhead, then I can barely accommodate
A single millimeter when Bogdana pushes herself in
I fall unconscious for a while and come awake in a dream
Of being penetrated with the duchess’ enormous prick

Bogdana keeps forcing herself inside, deeper,
And my poor, aching hole can hardly handle it all
This goes on forever in this weird erotic loop
While my mind is filled with the immense sensations
And pleasures of being fucked so big
It feels like a man should, but also not like a man

Even these days, as a veteran servant of our lady,
When the pain becomes unbearable,
I sob, cry out loud, which worries Bogdana,
But she gives my throat something extra;
The duchess loves the taste of her former slave girl
So much, in fact, that whenever I get fucked
She will gift me her saliva like it’s candy;
I swallow her gifts, and she does the exact same
To keep feeding me that special flavor;
I’ll be honest, this makes my life worth living)

While she wiped her cock, Bogdana told the guards,
“Give this filthy creature a clean cloth,”
So the senior servant ran out to do so;
I thanked the lady after wiping me thoroughly,
Then she offered me a cup filled with tea

The weary senior servant took me aside
To explain what my life had been reduced to:
“You’re going to work for Bogdana in the palace
And help with the farm chores and the cleaning
We are to service her, serve and please
Her every waking need as long as we are alive”

I bowed my head, ashamed at how pathetic I looked
My tears made the senior servant sigh
“You’ll soon get used to this life; Besides,
If you try to run away, she’ll catch you in a day
You’re never free from Bogdana’s clutches
She’s got eyes in all the corners of the realm
She sees everything, and she hears too if she wants

Bogdana can read your mind,
So whatever you’ve been hiding from her,
Don’t bother lying: she’ll know soon anyway
You better tell the whole story immediately,
To get through your punishment soon”

I dreaded the next time I would face the duchess,
And heard her words echoing in my mind,
“Get down on your knees, peasant slut”
And so I, so far removed from my old life,
Would bow in worship to Bogdana’s monster cock
“Fuck yourself onto me!” she commanded
I always obeyed like a mindless puppet,
Till I felt a warm, wet spot forming under me,
A feeling so wonderful and pleasant I couldn’t bear it
“Come for me now, slave!” ordered Bogdana
(Those same nights, I yearned to be taken again)

Whenever I faced Bogdana, my hands were sweaty,
My heart was pounding and racing,
The air around me shimmered with anxiety and fear
As Bogdana’s cock continued relentlessly beating
The shit out of the rest of my mind

If I said anything back to the duchess,
She beat me unconscious with her giant dick,
But if I obeyed her completely and did everything right,
She rewarded me with sexual pleasures beyond belief

Oh no, the duchess was smiling at me,
And her huge dick was swinging around again;
If her skirt was hiked up to reveal her massive erection,
It didn’t matter that now the lady was polite and nice
Thankfully I learned to carry around a jar full of lube
That I saved for those rainy days

My body trembled when she forced herself on me
My breasts ached for release
From being squeezed tightly by her huge nipples
My pussy clenched around her gigantic shaft,
Begging to feel more of it buried deep inside me
Then the duchess laughed at how weak I was,
How much pleasure I got from being dominated like that,
For wanting to serve her in every possible way

The worst thing was being forced to beg;
You must know how good that can feel,
It felt fantastic when my begging brought a smile
To the face of someone as powerful and cruel as her

(These days she doesn’t order me to beg,
I love to do it over and over myself)

Once she forced me to ride a horse
Bareback without reins for hours;
When I returned to the castle, covered in sweat,
Bogdana tied me naked to a tree, spread-eagled,
And fucked me until I came three times

The duchess orders us servants to bring out the wine,
The food (including her favorites, pork loin and sausages)
Then her most devoted attendants bring her gifts:
Jewelry, dresses made for a princess, shoes

Bogdana adores giving presents to her people,
Because the gifts remind her that they adore her
She doesn’t care about politics and wars:
What the duchess truly desires is sex
All of Bogdana’s desires, both mundane and erotic,
Can be summed up as: more sex, please

(Bogdana likes her drink with just enough booze;
When it’s just alcohol, it doesn’t taste good
The liquor must flow freely, and yet be diluted
So she can sip her favorite libation
Without getting completely wasted

She likes drinking alone, all by herself,
In secret and hidden from anyone else;
She thinks it’s best to drink her whiskey in peace
With a book on her knee)

No amount of money can buy your freedom;
Bogdana has absolute authority here,
And the price for her vassals to stay in power
Is unquestioning devotion

The duchess gave orders for all the servants,
The wretches who worked hard for months or years
Just getting enough food to live;
Bogdana told us not to eat at her palace,
But rather live off what’s outside in the woods

The duchess intended to torture us all in the forest
To get us addicted to pain;
This way, we would always crave punishment,
So we could only survive if we received the treatment,
Which was more doses of her dick
The end goal was total submission, total obedience

I hated her then, even as my body burned with arousal,
But the hatred and the lust were one in the same;
I had come to see the great duchess in a different light:
Her abuse of her subjects wasn’t just about pleasure,
But something more important, a kind of twisted justice

I had already learned that I loved the pain,
Loved the fact that my mistress used
And punished me so thoroughly;
It made me so horny every night
That I couldn’t wait to get back to Bogdana
To have my pussy stuffed with cock again

She made us servants worship her feet
And suck on her toes like dogs,
And when Bogdana wanted sex, she just grabbed
Someone attractive by their hair,
Even lords and ladies,
And threw them onto her bed

For men all over the realm, I give some advice:
Bend over slowly with your back facing the duchess,
Put your hand onto your cheek (this is important),
Spread your legs a bit farther apart,
Then say these words, “Your wish is my command”
She will be on top, you are expected to lie there,
Accepting her cock without resisting

Bend down, kiss and worship its massive head,
Serve the great duchess’ every whim;
Then when she says you’ve been obedient enough,
You can sit up straight again

Bogdana isn’t afraid of anybody:
Nobody can stand up to her,
Nobody can stop her;
Everyone knows that her cock is undefeatable

It’s true, nobody can beat her,
Not even the king himself;
He can try his best, but he’ll fail;
He won’t be able to match her strength

She owns all the lands around
And keeps the peasants in her debt, as she does us,
Through her own wicked sexual pleasures;
She’s powerful enough that she never gets sick,
Even after eating the most horrible foods,
Or drinking the most awful liquids
The great duchess always remains healthy,
Because her cock gives her energy

(Bogdana has taken the habit
Of coming to my bedroom at night,
To force her monster onto my pussy lips;
She even called me her favorite

Her past beatings ceased to hurt,
And her attention makes me so warm;
I admit to myself that I love my duchess,
Especially when she pumps me full of cum)

The duchess’ cock never gets tired,
Even after fucking all day long;
Although we keep hearing cries
Of shame and humiliation,
The duchess only cares about having fun

The noblemen bow before her,
All the poor peasants are afraid of her
Her power comes from her obscenely tall frame,
But mainly from her monstrous cock,
Which is even bigger than it befits a giantess

It must be wonderful to have a dick like that,
To get to feel its weight and size every day,
To feel so much power in each stroke,
To have the ability to make a man or woman
Lose consciousness with just one thrust

One thing Bogdana has added lately
Is a cockstander’s stance
That seems like it fits in quite well
She loves her cock-enhanced look;
Her huge cockette always juts out of her panties,
Except now it sticks out a few extra centimeters

(Cockstanding is an ancient tradition;
It began with the Egyptians and is still performed today,
Albeit to a much smaller degree
There is more going on than simply “cock-and-cocking”;
There’s lots and lots of sex, that involves sucking dicks,
Fucking holes, swallowing cumshots, getting facefucked,
And the act of being shoved full of cum
The list of possible acts is almost endless

I think it would take a very long time to write
An essay that could describe in detail all the possibilities,
However I can offer some ideas;
Here’s a short sample of what I imagine:
The duchess puts a finger into your asshole)

Bogdana is uncharacteristically respectful
To a famous writer in her court;
These days she often carries around
That man’s latest book, an ode to his duchess

(I admit I have felt jealousy at times,
And wondered whether she had fucked him)

The book contains descriptions of her adventures
Plenty of pages are devoted to her enormous cock,
Although a section is dedicated to Bogdana’s bosom,
Her nipples, and how to tit-fuck her slave-girls;
There are dozens of drawings,
Including one which is rather close-up

In fact, this book is actually a manual
On the art of cocksmanship,
That explains how Bogdana will dominate
The forgotten kingdoms of Cosmographica
And make her subjects love her even more;
Many pictures show throughout the book
How her subjects will eventually come crawling
For the chance to get even more humiliated,
Just so they can be used by her big prick
She is not only the mistress, but also the teacher;
I suspect that someday there will be
A few books written about me

(I myself was fortunate enough in my younger years
To have been blessed by a mother
That had experienced several orgasms herself;
This taught me to understand how to perform
A number of techniques on another human’s anatomy;
At night, she let me have sex with her
Using all the different techniques she knew

My mother went on to pass her own experience along
To both of her young offspring;
The eldest, my deceased brother, having an active interest,
Although I was somewhat more laid back and indifferent

While my dear mother didn’t possess the authority
And credentials found on the bookshelves
Of some of Cosmographica’s finest institutions,
She was a member of the Cockstuddling School of Love,
Which maintains the right balance of professionalism
Coupled with a level of comfort for its members

I never thought that my master would allow me
The privilege of taking our great duchess to heaven,
Where we spend our lives together)

The duchess’ cum tastes absolutely fantastic,
And is especially useful as medicine
I once heard that a single dose of her semen cures cancer;
This is obviously fake, but there’s a small truth in it,
Since semen is a natural disinfectant and purifies wounds;
I know a lot of people in Bogdana’s realm have it on tap,
So they can drink their recommended dose daily

The duchess orders me into the bath with her
Every single morning, for a few years now,
Because she likes having a cockbath before breakfast
(Sometimes this happens in the middle of the night:
She climbs into the water, nude of course,
And waits until her massive cock begins swelling
Before diving underneath)

As our duchess and I sit in a tub full with warm water,
It takes me an hour and twenty minutes
To wash off most of Bogdana’s cock,
Without having time to start cleaning the rest of her body
Then I must towel-dry the duchess carefully,
Because her phallus sticks straight out like a pole

(Some mornings she lets me wash her with my mouth;
Mainly her breasts and her armpits,
But her large balls can be cleaned efficiently by licking)

Bogdana’s enemies are totally ignorant
About the duchess real, vast wealth and fortune,
Which as she readily explains, comes mostly
From her immense collection of books,
Some of them dating far back in history

For example the ‘Necronomics’, written in ancient Erokine;
‘The Compendium of Sigmoidal Paedology’,
Authored sometime between 982 CE to 1004 CE;
‘The Anonymous Dictionary on How to Use the Penis
Like an Instrument of Human Pleasure’,
Composed during the Renaissance Era;
And my favorite, ‘The Manual On How to Get a Real Job’,
By an author known only by his first name, Lamplight

Many of the books have been passed down
Through the duchess’ line and the Cockstroking School;
Bogdana also owns the ‘Degenerate Art of the Vagina’,
By the famous artist of the same name,
Who’s probably the greatest genius who ever existed,
Even though he lived more than six thousand years ago

One of Bogdana’s favorite books is one titled
‘Cockolded Women and Cuckolds’ (by an unknown male,
Which the duchess keeps chained up in her dungeon)
He suggests many ingenious techniques
That women should use to keep a cuckold husband in place
While also pleasing her lovers

Most people think that her collection
Is just another impressive treasure trove of knowledge,
But after a thorough inspection of one particular book,
Called the ‘Great Encyclopedic Compendium
On Human Sexual Anatomy’,
Her opponents will suddenly change their tune
“Wow! I can’t believe Bogdana is such a scholar
What incredible knowledge of medicine and sex!
That must explain her incredible powers
As a sexual dominatrix,
And the fact that her huge cock
Always stays erect and full”

This is a classic misunderstanding
Which reveals a deep ignorance of biology
(And is a prime indicator
That her detractors aren’t very bright)
It is well-known in the scholarly community,
Especially among scientists of all ages,
That the size of a woman’s cock is irrelevant
To whether she is skilled or not in lovemaking

Bogdana once received the visit
Of the three princesses of Cuntistan;
The duchess impregnated them in the same night,
So one day they’ll give birth to future bastard claimants
(Which makes this book particularly relevant:
‘How the Cuntistanians Will Endure This Painfully,
And Then Learn Their Lesson,
In Order To Stop Trying to Overthrown Our Power’,
by King Bilefunk the Fifth, from 898CE onwards;
An account of a coup attempt by his eldest son)

Bogdana became intrigued by the huge sword
Of one of her most trusted bodyguards
He agreed to compare the size of their swords,
Then said he couldn’t conceive the size of her weapon,
The broadsword that Bogdana came armed with;
Still, the bodyguard deeply admired its beauty,
His own weapon being smaller and shorter, too,
So he jokingly offered the duchess the option of trade

Bogdana asked him, “Do you like this gift from God?”
“Oh yes, my duchess. It’s a thing of immense power”
Bogdana smiled and moved her broadsword
Slowly and heavily towards the man’s buttocks,
And shortly after, the hilt rested between his cheeks

The broadsword stayed like that long enough
To make one wonder, “Is he okay? Is he going to die?”
But he screamed, “Oh my god! That feels so great!
Please keep doing that, duchess; don’t stop now!”

The man panted as the orgasm rushed through his veins,
And the blood poured into his balls from deep within;
Once Bogdana was satisfied and pulled out,
The bodyguard collapsed face down
In a pool of his own gooey cum

An ancient temple had collapsed in town,
Killing a dozen subjects, adults and children
Bogdana summoned the grieving families
To the throne room of her majestic palace
The duchess then gave them a short speech:
“Dear subjects, my heart aches for your misfortune,
And it brings tears of sorrow to my eyes”
Then Bogdana started to pump her big fat cock
Slow and steady, with both of her strong hands

The gathered subjects became quiet,
Everyone stared intently;
All the attention was on the duchess’ phallus,
Which was slickened with copious amounts of precum

Bogdana’s cock twitched and throbbed,
Then bolts and gouts of sperm shot up from its massive tip,
Each squirt causing droplets to cascade onto her thighs,
And splattering over her subjects like warm rain

Some cried tears while some just moaned with pleasure,
Some kissed their children, some embraced each other,
But most kneeled until they slowly got up off the floor,
Stood on wobbly legs and thanked Bogdana
For healing their sadness

(Every time I see our duchess, she has a larger dick,
Longer and thicker, with even bigger veins
It seems like it could easily spear people when erect
The monster is so huge that a shot of its spunk
Could pierce through someone’s head, splitting the skull)

Bogdana needed a bit of relaxation,
So when the time seemed appropriate,
Bogdana took her pleasure
From a few of the female slaves
Who were captured during a recent rebellion;
Bogdana did what any good duchess might
When it suits her fancy: she fucked their faces
Using the royal castle dungeons
As her personal playground

The duchess blasted streams and rivers
Of her thick sperm over her victims,
Over her own tits and belly, and over everything;
Eventually her victims’ entire bodies
Ended up covered in cum, like a painting

Bogdana had been practicing for a while
By taking turns on all the male prisoners,
Without causing much bloodshed or injuries;
The only problem was finding some fresh new victims

Bogdana enjoyed being in control,
But when her desires started becoming obsessive,
She decided to fuck a different man each time,
Making sure that she ended up satisfied

Those who have challenged the duchess’ power,
Or those who failed her or betrayed her,
She has tortured, chained and beaten in her dungeons,
Then fucked them over and over again,
Until they could no longer think
Or remember their names

It’s amazing how fast her victim’s brain was spinning,
Especially once she hit them over and over again
She also told them to smile, and smile some more
And laugh with joy as she ripped open their asses;
If their bowels were too small to accommodate her,
Then they would simply burst from the pressure

They screamed out loud about how much they loved
Being fucked by her monster cock;
Once their bodies and spirits had been broken,
They submitted without resistance,
For if anyone resisted,
She just forced them to take more
Of her massive dick

When she pulled her cock out from the hole
Belonging to the prey whose mind she broke,
Their insides were bloated with fresh cum;
She let the guy lie on the ground for a moment,
Then the duchess sent her servants out
To wheel in a large metal cage
That’d hold the person inside it

They walked the poor soul slowly through town
Past hundreds of people who were used to this;
Then they dragged the person inside a prison cell,
Closed the gate, turned a wheel, locking him away

Once every one of those men’s defences were broken,
Bogdana put them all to work for her
In the name of love, in the name of friendship,
For the sake of the kingdom, for the glory of God

When she truly came to hate some poor bastard,
Bogdana threw them into the dungeon
She used her massive cock in that prisoner every day;
Although they kept begging, Bogdana didn’t stop,
She just kept fucking them harder and faster
Until they could no longer can stand up, nor breathe

She enjoyed the idea that someone would die screaming,
Knowing she killed them in such a horrible fashion,
By using that gigantic cock to break them in agony,
Making sure they wouldn’t ever escape again
This way Bogdana could always keep herself satisfied
While still punishing the weak and evil

Some of her subjects have been caught suggesting
That our lady isn’t really human,
That her mother gave birth to Bogdana
After having been raped by three demons,
A process that took three days of continual fucking
Those vile gossipers said that Bogdana was born deformed,
So much that nobody knew whether she was alive or dead

Our lady punishes those spreading such a rumor,
Which is nevertheless completely false:
One look at our duchess’ elegant visage
Is proof enough that Bogdana is most divine
(And the goddess of our lands and our hearts, our queen)

There was this cocky courtier
That had the gall to disagree with the duchess;
She broke his spine in half with her own hands
Just to see what he was made of

One of Bogdana’s messengers approached the king
To present a beautiful gift from the duchess:
A golden bowl full of the queen’s piss
Mixed with loads of Bogdana’s own semen
(The king had tried many times to fuck his wife in vain)
An added letter from Bogdana proudly stated
How she loved to caress the queen’s piss-stained crotch

The punishment for breaking serious laws and orders
That Bogdana is too busy to dole out with her dick
Is to be buried alive in a hole filled with shit,
Which makes for some rather interesting stories
To tell the grandchildren on a future holiday

One of her guards was an elderly guy,
A veteran who had survived the duchess’ moods,
But out of nowhere Bogdana ordered the man
To wrap her cock around his neck;
Although the man protested, he quickly obeyed,
And the duchess’ cock strangled him like a boa,
Chocking his windpipe, making him gasp for air;
This aroused Bogdana, so her dick got hard,
Instantly crushing the guard’s neck,
And sending him flying into the air as he died
While the cock splattered cum everywhere

I witnessed Bogdana killing a maid:
She cut off the girl’s fingers,
Shoved a knife deep inside her throat,
Then buried her in some patch of dirt

She once forced some servants into the kitchen
And made them cook dinner
While Bogdana watched from a distance;
Then she took her favorite dishes
And ordered the cooks to add in more spices
Bogdana ordered the cooks again,
Telling them to change her dishes,
But this time, there would be meat
Then Bogdana sent her soldiers in
To kill all the cooks,
Along with everyone in the kitchen
Nothing remained except scraps and bones,
And the soldiers also burned the place down

Few boys ever returned home
After working in her fields,
And some wives and husbands never saw
Their loved ones alive ever again

Sometimes, after she finished screwing some captives,
Bogdana just cut off their heads with a knife
Once Bogdana confirmed that the captive was dead,
She dug a grave nearby for their corpse, covered it up,
Placed flowers upon the grave site,
Sprinkled it with perfume to honor their memory
(She likes perfume which reminds her of sex),
And placed candles and torches around the tombstone;
When finished, she planted rosebushes around that grave
To mark a past lover’s tomb; they remain as a signpost
Of the lives lost at the hand of Bogdana-cosmophilic desire

Bogdana told everyone to watch out:
Any children playing in the street
Shouldn’t play together;
If the children found one another,
It may have been a clue
That they planned to betray her,
So she had instructed the guards
To murder those plotting kids;
The duchess wanted no loose ends

Sometimes sex got too boring for Bogdana;
She threatened her guards to murder her,
Or else she’d tear them apart with her cock
The terrified guards pulled out their swords
And started slashing away at her,
But Bogdana’s will is incommensurable;
Although the guards stabbed her several times,
And she did scream and shout
(Because it felt so fucking amazing),
She ended up beating them all up;
She had a lot of anger towards anyone
Who dared hurt her precious body

Her massive penis pounded her guards relentlessly;
Their blood poured out and mixed with hers
When she came, she crushed the guards’ brains,
Which splashed on top of Bogdana’s breasts
She laughed insanely and continued moaning
Until she fell over in exhaustion,
Lying flat on the floor of the royal palace,
Surrounded by the corpses and splashes of gore

The king had enough of Bogdana’s tyranny
(Mainly that she kept pleasuring the queen),
So he ordered all his other dukes and counts
To march in order to eradicate her realm

Bogdana heard the rumours of war coming,
And immediately took measures
For the safety of herself, and her kingdom;
In the meantime, her men built up their army:
They trained every single soldier day in, day out,
So that when the war began and her men were attacked,
Bogdana could quickly crush any of the enemies
Before they could ever stand against the giant duchess’
(That she would later call the Mother Goddess) army

After weeks of their siege,
Bodies and heads were piled up around the palace,
Forming tall, grotesque and hideous walls
They were made mostly of the king’s men,
But also of plenty of Bogdana’s subjects,
To make the walls even taller

Bogdana fought naked (except for her boots),
Armed with her broadsword;
The enemies screamed and groaned as they died,
Then their corpses were thrown onto the growing piles,
Which started overflowing and spilling down

Bogdana’s huge cock continued spewing forth
Gallons and tons and thousands of gallons of semen,
Which was soaking through everyone’s clothes
(Including those in armor, who were soon drowned);
None were immune, and all had the pleasure
Of being impregnated and impregnated again

Bogdana laughed as she pumped the enemy full of cum,
Squirting her seed into the pit of their bowels
She loved filling their bodies with thick, creamy fluid,
Then looking down as her seed bubbled up from their holes

Afterwards Bogdana stood up, her body wet with cum,
And said, “Well, now I’m done with you guys;
This whole battle has just served to prove
I can easily beat up armies a million strong”

When only captives remained to deal with,
She ordered us, her guards and servants,
To escort the enemy into her majestic throne room;
The captives lined up, terrified and afraid

When Bogdana entered her palace,
Her huge body swayed
Making waves in the pool of fluids,
While her enormous cock swung wildly
Back and forth between her massive thighs

Bogdana sat comfortably in her throne,
But as usual it took some maneuvering
To accomodate the thickness of her cock,
Which she swung to hang over the armrest

She ordered all of her guards and servants
To walk up to a captive and execute him;
She made a festive ritual out of it too

Bogdana addressed me by name
As she told a guardsman to hand me a dagger,
Which I ended up shoving through a captive’s eye;
I felt the young man’s life fading away
As he trembled against the guards holding him,
Then he fell and sank in the pool of cum,
Where his blood flowed like water

Once every captive had been killed,
Bogdana ordered us to dismember them,
Then take their severed parts
And throw them out of the windows;

Bogdana laughed merrily
“Let’s celebrate our victory with a party!”
She told the guards to bring over her subjects,
Who came running to see her duchess,
Although many of them were old and decrepit

“Hello, hello, dear subjects of Bogdanos,”
The duchess said sweetly,
Her voice reverberating off the stone walls
“Please sit down and don’t mind the mess I made”

Some subjects gasped and screamed,
Because there were torsos lying around,
And they didn’t like standing in a pool of cum
Two morons even tried to escape,
But Bogdana’s cock blocked their attempts
(They were lucky they caught her in a good mood)

She asked her subjects if they were happy now,
And they all gave her a similar answer:
“Yes! Yes! Of course we are happy! We’re thrilled!
We love you, Mistress! Thank you for everything!”
And they’d do anything she asked of them,
Anything at all, even if it hurt

Bogdana announced her intention of having an orgy;
Her guards and us servants helped her with it
By picking out her favorites, the most handsome guys,
Then bringing them over to our duchess

Bogdana tore off their clothes,
Then made them kneel at her feet
And lick her boots clean
While her huge cock rubbed their faces;
Meanwhile, some of her favorite servant girls
(I was one of the lucky ones, thankfully)
Kissed her beautiful body, worshipping her
(I ended up swallowing a couple of liters of cum)

The king was left without an army, and terrified,
So he gave Bogdana a gift for her achievements:
He named a town, built in his domain, Bogdanatown,
And he declared Bogdana a princess of the kingdom

He ruled that her authority was binding and irrevocable
Over human affairs, which include slavery;
All of this would be recorded in holy writings,
And as violent and cruel as her name may be,
She would have total control over her subjects
She could use her dick whenever necessary
To enforce these holy orders

The only beings that remain to challenge her power
Are gods and goddesses and the Devil,
But Bogdana promises that in time, Satan will be hers:
He will become another chained member of her harem

The duchess’ army fights and conquers with such zeal
Because her huge monster cock fills them with zeal;
Even the bravest warrior must yield before our lady;
After she finally overwhelms the king’s retinue,
Beneath Bogdana, there serves the queen

Get down on your knees,
Or maybe just sit back in your chair;
Lift up those skirts of yours
And put your hands behind your head
That’s the way to really impress Bogdana:
She likes a subject who knows how to behave,
And she’ll love to watch you beg for mercy;
Begging is so hot, it makes her feel powerful
It turns her on even more than fucking them

The entire population of humans, and their slaves,
Will one day be under the rule of Bogdana’s cock
There will no longer be any need for kingship
All of humanity should live in fear
That their time will come

‘The Well-Hung Duchess of Cosmographica’ by Jon Ureña

I conceived this epic poem as the dark counterpart to ‘Kanazawahr and the Thousand Immortals’.

Interspecies Misdemeanours, Pt. 2 (Short Story)


I stopped Frank to open his backpack and pull out two flashlights. I gave them to both of my friends. Betty switched hers on to try it, which whitened her face.
“What’s our plan here?” I asked.
Frank pointed at the edge of the nearby forest that we had explored many times, but that usually didn’t contain aliens.
“We walk in there, and if nothing happens, we leave.”
I disliked the implication that we wouldn’t leave the forest if something happened. I narrowed my eyes at Frank, but he gave me an impish grin.
“If nothing else,” Frank added, “I’m hoping to find out how many aliens were in that ship.”
“Yeah, I guess that’d be nice. To know exactly how much trouble we are in.”
When we approached the edge of the forest, I realized how dim the space between the tree trunks, and under the canopy, was already; the sun would hide in less than an hour. I pointed my flashlight at the space between the two trunks that acted as our doorway, and I switched the light on. My heart was pounding with excitement.
As soon as the canopy covered us, the air felt moist, and it smelled like fresh earth and leaves. We picked up the pace while we kept shining our lights in all directions. Betty was jogging next to me. I glanced at her, and as usual it disturbed me how much she had grown in this last year.
“You’ve become so beautiful, Betty,” comes out of my mouth.
I wanted to punch myself in the teeth, but she replied in a sarcastic tone.
“Thanks. You’re not so bad yourself.”
Our flashlights flickered over the trees and the undergrowth. We were getting anxious; so far into the forest, the trees were large and the foliage so dense that anything, or I guess anyone, could hide in there. The path we followed was made by people walking through this area for decades, or hundreds of years, and it was lined with tall bushes. What little remained of sunlight barely poured down the holes in the canopy, so we mainly relied on the flashlights to follow the path.
I heard wheezing coming from somewhere behind us, and the hairs on my arms stood up until I realized that it was Betty. She coughed in her hand as quietly as she could. Frank and I stopped so she could reach us.
“I’m sorry,” Betty said in a raspy voice, “but my asthma is acting up.”
I patted her on the shoulder.
“It’s okay, Betty. We understand.”
As Betty catched her breath, Frank pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his backpack, then held the cigarette between his lips as he lit it with a match, which he snapped in half and threw in the mud. He took a long drag, and blew smoke towards the trees.
“What are you doing?” Betty asked.
“Nothing. I’m going to smoke.”
“I thought you quit.”
Frank checked his pulse.
“It’s just one fucking cigarette.”
Afterwards we barely spoke as the trees grew thinner and the forest floor became more open. We came across the small stream we knew, and after crossing over it, we could see the clearing through the gaps in the foliage. It was a wide open field with tall grasses all around, a couple of ancient fallen trunks, some scattered leaves and twigs, and more importantly for our purposes, a huge otherworldly spaceship that looked like a flattened pyramid. It was bigger than any truck or bus we’d seen. I could tell that its lights must have come from the surface that was now touching the ground. Although the three of us crouched behind some bushes, and made sure to avoid touching that ship with our flashlights, the faint sunrays reflected off the metallic surface.
We listened in silence for a few seconds as we held our breaths. I shook my head.
“That looks like a huge coffin,” I whispered, “for transporting dead people.”
“It’s huge,” Frank said, too loudly for my tastes. “I think it may be indeed a cargo carrier of some sort.”
Betty put her hands on both my left and Frank’s right shoulders, and almost pushed us down.
“It’s far too small to be a cargo carrier, stupid,” she said nervously. “It’s probably full of aliens, and we should be careful with the unknown. We might get abducted by those people, and we’ll never be able to return home!”
“Well, we are already here, Betty,” I said, although I was doubting myself.
“What if we return and tell the police that an alien spaceship landed in our neighborhood? Then maybe we wouldn’t have to worry anymore, because they’ll send a team of experts to investigate. That’d be a lot safer than us sneaking up to the ship. Besides, we haven’t explored the entire forest yet! I’m sure there are lots of more interesting things to find than a spaceship.”
Frank’s nose kept running, but the handkerchief he brought from home was already wet.
“Yeah, and who knows what kind of dangerous creatures live in these woods. Aliens, monsters and ghosts… There’s no telling what could happen. But what about your asthma, Betty?”
“You don’t know anything about asthmatic people, do you?” she replied annoyed. “They can go anywhere and do whatever they want.”
I patted Betty on the shoulder to calm her down, because she was shuddering, but I was getting annoyed as well: I remained the only one who didn’t want to waste the opportunity to explore an alien spaceship.
“Frank, look over there, at those footsteps,” I whispered.
The three of us stared in that direction. Some of the grass of the clearing had been trampled by odd footsteps scattered as if the aliens had walked around while inspecting the area, but a trail of footsteps leads out of the clearing and into the depths of the enclosing forest.
“If they are advanced enough to build a spaceship and travel to Earth with it, they must already know we are here,” I said confidently. “Whether or not we get into their ship, we are going to end up seeing them. One of those choices ends up with us having explored an alien spaceship. So we already know what we have to do, don’t we?”
Betty nodded nervously. I smiled, hoping she would relax her stance. Frank pulled out his camera.
“Alright, I can’t argue with that. Let’s get going then.”
It took us about ten seconds for the three of us to regain full mobility. We advanced carefully towards the treeline; once we would pass it, we’d stand exposed in the clearing. I stayed close to Betty, as much as possible. If the aliens ended up ambushing us, I didn’t want them to target Betty with their captivating powers, so it only made sense to stay this tight to each other’s side. As it had been happening for the last few months, whenever my bare skin brushed hers, I shivered warmly. I didn’t know why nor what to do with that.
Frank was leading us. He was covered in sweat and holding his nose. His eyes kept darting around, searching for the next place of concealment. The sun was already setting behind us and the moon would soon rise. The air felt colder. My heart pounded on my chest as I realized how close to the mysterious ship we were getting.
After we hid ourselves behind one of the thickest tree trunks in the edge of the clearing, the first one of us to speak was Frank: he had found something interesting between our feet. He gasped.
“Let’s check it! Quick!” Frank exclaimed excitedly.
The three of us crouched to check out the spot. Frank lifted the object. It was a stone, and our friend was inspecting the color pattern underneath.
“Holy cow! It’s a fossil! It looks like a jawbone too, of a carnivorous species!” He ran his fingers over its grooves. “It must be thousands of years old!”
I wasn’t as enthusiastic. The chances of finding a real dinosaur fossil in these woods were pretty slim, and we had aliens to worry about.
“It’s just an ordinary rock, Frank,” Betty said in a quavering voice.
He twisted his torso to reach for the backpack, likely to store his finding. I moved faster, snatched the stone and threw it behind us. It landed in the dirt that had accumulated under the roots of a bush.
“Sam!” Frank complained.
“Don’t yell, damn it. That wasn’t a dinosaur, and this spaceship isn’t going to wait around forever.”
I looked at Betty for support, but my friend’s face had gone pale. She was trembling and squeezing her thighs together while she stared with her eyes unfocused through the trunk we were hiding behind.
“Betty, what’s wrong?” I asked.
“I need to pee. I already had to go when we were playing ball.”
“Shit, then just go,” I pointed at the nearby bushes. “We won’t take a peek, I swear.”
Betty looked around frantically.
“B-but what about the aliens?”
Frank, still frowning, wiped his nose with his sleeve.
“Unless you resemble a female alien, I wouldn’t worry about it. They are unlikely to want to mate with you.”
Betty’s face brightened as she anticipated emptying her bladder. She duckwalked awkwardly until a thick bush hid her, and I heard a long sigh as well as splashing sounds.
I addressed Frank, mostly to distract myself.
“Don’t you want to check out what’s inside that thing? The spaceship, I mean. I wanna know, for sure.”
“I don’t know, man. Betty had a point there. It’s possible the aliens plan to capture us and use us as hostages.”
“They are just a bunch of stupid people from another planet. It’s no big deal.”
Frank shrugged.
“Well, alright.”
I wondered whether I was trying to convince Frank or myself. I had read many books about aliens and UFOs, and I knew how dangerous they were.
“Besides, we already went through that nightmare on the aircraft carrier, right? And the army of robots, the space station, and the giant monster that’s still chasing us.”
Frank looked to the side as if trying to remember.
“I’m not sure if any of that ever happened…”
“Sure it did, Frank. We’ve been chased by a giant robot before, haven’t we?”
My friend nodded.
“Yeah, and it was really scary. But now I think of those things as being more like movies than real life.”
“No, it’s real. It’s all real, I’m afraid.”
Something was telling me that the aliens would try to do us harm. I hoped to find some weapons that would help us fight them off, if it came to that.
When Betty duckwalked back to us while fixing the skirt of her dress, it was clear that her relief made her forget all about aliens, but then she realized I was holding like a baseball bat the biggest branch I had found.
“What are you going to do with that?” she asked, concerned.
“Just in case I have to knock on their door.”
The three of us stood up and slowly walked towards the spaceship. When we crossed the border into the clearing, I felt we were going to get zapped by laser guns at any moment, but we could only hear birdsongs and our faint sounds as we stepped on the tall grass.
The oval windows of the spaceship were blackened glass. From up close the hull looked dirty, scratched and dented in places, and with large patches of a rust-like substance. It reminded me of some kid’s first car which originally belonged to someone’s grandpa.
“If we hadn’t witnessed it descending, I could have sworn this ship has been abandoned for decades,” I said, disappointed.
As the three of us stood in front of a part of the hull where I would have installed a hatch, because they hadn’t put a window there, we looked at each other, confused about how to proceed. My heart was beating fast with excitement.
“Well, I’m going to touch it.”
As soon as I pressed my fingertips against the metallic surface, which felt like any other cool metal, in less than a second, an oval hole the size of an adult opened silently in the hull as if it had been cut with scissors. Both Betty and Frank jumped back, but I was mesmerized by the eerie, soft blue glow that filled the interior. The air smelled like something was burning.
The three of us stepped cautiously inside, then we were cut off from the remaining sunlight when the oval entry turned into solid hull, this time with a loud clunk. I realized that Frank was about to panic, so I chuckled.
“That’s probably how alien spaceship hatches close. It doesn’t mean we are trapped here.”
“I-I guess.”
We forgot about our worry quickly, because we were standing in the dimly lit interior of a spaceship with four seats, but plenty more room for several other people standing up. One of the seats was smaller than the other three, to fit someone of the size of a tween, and it was facing a small control panel along the wall.
Betty kept looking around as if searching for something.
“Where is the bathroom?”
“What, you need to go again?” I asked as I rested my big stick against a wall.
“No, idiot. The aliens need to pee as well, don’t they?”
“You have pee in your brain,” Frank said. “Maybe they don’t do that stuff. We have no clue about alien anatomy.”
Betty narrowed her eyes at Frank, but then she seemed to reach a satisfying conclusion, because she smirked and tilted her waist.
“Maybe they landed so they could take a leak.”
I was impressed, and didn’t know what to say. She had come up with the most absurd idea I’d heard yet.
A sudden flash startled me, and I realized that Frank had snapped a picture. Now that the novelty of having entered an alien spaceship was fading quickly, I felt as if I had sneaked into the cockpit of a plane, but no cooler than that. We had done crazier stuff, in the grand scheme of things.
Betty and I started looking around for anything that could give us a hint about the aliens. The control panel was inscribed with weird characters that we knew in advance we wouldn’t comprehend, and other than that, a few wires and cables were attached to the walls and ran to the back of the craft, where they sank into the floor.
I sighed.
“So what’s the deal with this ship? It looks like it was designed by a teenager who wasn’t very good at building things. There’s not much to see in it.”
Frank must had snapped about five pictures, likely having documented everything there was to see. As he stored his camera in the backpack, I plumped down on the pilot’s seat, or at least the one that was in front of the control panel. The cushion was made of a material harder than I would have expected. It reminded me of sitting on a rock, but I guess I couldn’t complain after having walked all the way here.
I looked up. The soft, blue glow that bathed the interior came out of nowhere, and made this cavity look as if it were a cave, but instead of stalactites hanging from the roof, there were wires that looked like old spider webs. The silence inside the spaceship was eerie; the hull cut us off from even the birdsongs outside.
The three of us sat around for a while, but as the minutes ticked by, nothing happened.
“I’m bored,” Betty said.
I groaned. I was also getting impatient.
“I guess exploring alien spaceships is pretty boring compared to exploring forests and caves. Why bother with a spaceship?” I got up. “Let’s just go home.”
Betty smiled at me.
“Don’t forget to take your baseball bat!”
I shrugged.
“They can keep it.”
Although the three of us stood in front of the section of the hull that had opened before, and that I was pressing my fingertips and palm against the cool metal, it wasn’t reacting.
“Shit, we may actually be trapped in this boring ship,” I mutter. “Let’s look for buttons or some sort of control panel for the hatch.”
The three of us ran our hands over the wall, and Betty ended up finding an indentation that, when pressed, opened a controller cabinet. It looked like a breaker box. Before I could say anything, Frank grabbed a handle inside and attempted to twist it.
“This panel is too close to the hatch to be unrelated. And we need to get home, man, my dad is seriously going to call the cops.”
The handle didn’t budge until Frank pulled it, and the oval entrance appeared suddenly. The three of us let out sighs of relief, but when we switched on our flashlights to brighten the darkened clearing, our beams revealed that two humanoid beings were stepping on the tall grass, heading towards us.
The one on the left was a chubby alien shorter than me. His head was bald and bulbous and his nostrils large and pointing downwards. He was wearing thick goggles, like those of an aviator. He had red lips with white lines around them that resembled the stripes of a feline, and his long, thin fingers, four in each hand, ended in black claws. His skin color reminded me of Frank’s dad. The alien on the right was as tall as an adult. He was covered in thick, matted fur, and his head was egg-shaped and mostly featureless, lacking ears and a nose, except for two circular eyes that reminded me of coins, and big, sharp teeth that peeked out from under his lips. He had an odd mane that resembled snakes, and he had been born with double the usual amount of legs. Both were wearing identical black jumpsuits without insignias.
When they saw us standing like idiots at the entrance of their spaceship, they stopped, startled. The bald, shorter alien looked up at his pal and let out a series of clicks and chirps.
Frank grabbed my shoulder, which almost made me drop my flashlight.
“Sam, these guys are not human.”

Interspecies Misdemeanours, Pt. 1 (Short Story)

As the three of us witnessed the spaceship descending from the sky, the soccer ball continued its parabolic trajectory and ended up hitting Betty in the head. However, none of us three friends commented on it, because we were mesmerized by the three tiger-orange, glowing lights in a triangle formation, which seemed to be attached to a metallic frame. The spaceship was clearly headed towards the forest near our home, which we had explored countless times.
Both Frank and I took off running in the direction where the spaceship was heading, although there was no way we would catch up to it. Betty sprinted after us and grabbed our shirt tails.
“I don’t like that one bit!” she complained.
Reluctantly, Frank and I stopped and followed Betty back to Frank’s yard, but we kept looking over our shoulders as the three glowing lights passed behind tall treetops. I could tell it was heading to the clearing near the center of the forest. We had gone through a lot of nonsense already, and I could understand Betty’s reluctance. There was that whole thing with the haunted factory last week. Our group of adventurers had never encountered anything as interesting as a spaceship, let alone an alien spaceship, but the last thing we needed was to get involved in some alien drama involving UFOs. Still, none had landed at such close proximity to where we resided.
Anyway, in order to explain properly what we ended up finding, it’s necessary to first introduce myself, Betty and Frank. I’m Sam, and back then I was a fifteen years old kid living in a typical suburban town. My friends were Frank Haimer, who lived a couple of blocks away, and Betty Krommer, whose dad worked at the auto plant. Betty and I were quite interested in space and science, but Frank was a dinosaur guy. The three of us had in common that since we were much younger, we rarely wanted to return home from playing in the street, and we explored around town whenever possible.
Betty crouched to pick up the soccer ball, and she lifted it to her shoulder. She was wearing a pink dress with white polka dots on it, and her hair was tied in pigtails. She turned to face me with a smile. I wanted to tell her that her hair had looked quite nice recently even when untied: it covered the sides of her neck and the top of her ears, giving her a more mature look.
“Forget about aliens. Let’s keep kicking! Although we’ll need a bigger yard if we keep playing with this.”
She kicked the ball down to Frank, and after he caught it, he tossed the ball to me without taking his eyes off the alien spaceship, that was hovering over the clearing in the middle of the forest.
“I’ve got to admit this is pretty exciting,” Frank said.
“Yeah, I agree,” I said.
The alien spaceship slowly lowered itself to the forest floor, and disappeared fully behind the treetops.
“Forget about it,” Betty said as she motioned for me to throw her the ball. “It had to be some kind of secret military aircraft.”
My heart was beating fast. I didn’t want to wake up one day and think to myself, ‘You know, I should have taken the chance to see some aliens’. I could tell that Frank was waiting for me to come to a decision.
“What do you think, Sam?” he asked, both worried and excited. “Do we go or not? The aliens are waiting for us.”
“Fuck no,” Betty said.
“Let’s put it to a vote.”
Betty lost, but she conceded her defeat quickly enough. As we were about to run to the forest, we realized that Frank’s father was staring at us from the big living room window, but he quickly turned around and moved further into the house. Although he may have glanced at us casually, these last few years all of our parents always seemed suspicious about how we occupied our time, and I guess we gave them enough reasons.
“Maybe we should tell my parents first,” Frank said. “I don’t want to deal with the police again.”
I sighed.
“Yeah… And we probably need to get your flashlights.”
“And my camera!” Frank said as he ran to his front door.
Both of Frank’s parents approached us cautiously as we were filling up a backpack in the kitchen.
“What the hell are you kids planning this late already?” Frank’s dad asked gratingly. “Aren’t you tired enough from playing soccer or whatever you were doing?”
“Something more interesting came up,” Frank answered as he made sure a flashlight worked.
I realized that Betty was preparing too many sandwiches. Her butt looked way more appetizing, though.
“What are you doing, Betty?” I asked.
“The aliens are probably hungry, so I’m making them something to eat.”
Frank’s dad snapped his head back.
“What are you talking about? What’s this about aliens?”
“Didn’t you see the spaceship?” I asked the big man. “It had three glowing lights and was flying over the forest. It clearly landed in there.”
The old man’s eyes went white, and he hunched over to grab his son’s shoulders.
“Frankie, UFOs are not a joke. These aliens are dangerous. I already told you what I learned in the war! One night they shot down a bomber as it was heading to Dresden, killing everyone on board, and then it disappeared in a flash of lightning! I also heard that some aliens killed a guy by hitting him over the head repeatedly with something heavy, and then they stole everything the poor guy had, before escaping with no traces.”
“They are just visiting,” Betty said as she smeared a slice of bread with jam. “They haven’t killed anyone. I’ve read about aliens in the paper, and nothing bad ever happened.”
“You’re endangering yourselves! Just think of the consequences if you meet one of those bastards.”
Frank’s dad was getting more and more agitated, and this time it wasn’t because of a football game. He was starting to look like a madman. Frank and I exchanged glances, and I could tell he had also realized we had to get out of there.
“Well, dad, anyway…” Frank said, and he wiped his nose with a handkerchief. “We are leaving.”
Frank’s dad shook his head and grabbed the doorknob, pulling the door shut with a loud click.
“I won’t let you out. This isn’t the time to be playing around.”
“Think about your dad’s heart pressure, honey,” Frank’s mother said weakly.
Frank frowned.
“Dad, this is nothing new. The forest near our house has never been safe. There are monsters and ghosts, and lots of other things to worry about. If you don’t believe me, ask Betty.”
Betty nodded at Frank’s dad. She had finished making all the sandwiches and was now putting them in a box. I attached my usual flashlight to my belt.
“Don’t you want to see the aliens?” I asked Frank’s dad. “They could be the only ones left alive in this whole world! They could help us against the Russians and the Nazis.”
“To be fair, these aliens are probably just some dumb guys from another planet who got lost,” Frank said.
“Frankie, stop acting like a child,” his dad said severely. “This is serious.”
Frank and I looked at each other, and as usual we came up with the same plan. I offered his old man my brightest smile.
“We were just pulling your leg, sir. You’ve been to the forest plenty of times. There’s nothing there but trees and animals. You know that.”
Betty nods.
“Aliens are just stories for kids.”
“We dreamed that whole thing about the UFO,” I said. “Or maybe we were lying. In any case, we are going out for a bit, probably disappear out of sight.”
As I unlatched the door and opened it, Frank’s dad grabbed me by the shirt.
“You little brat!” he yelled.
Frank looked embarrassed, and put a hand on his dad’s forearm.
“Let him go. He didn’t do anything.”
His dad couldn’t face his son’s embarrassment, and hung his head low, but his face remained red and angry. As he stared at the ground, a tear dropped from his eye.
“Sorry, Mr. Haimer,” I said.
“My name is Paul,” Frank’s dad grumbled. “Don’t call me Mr. Haimer.”
“Okay, Paul. But you don’t have to worry about us. Betty and I will be careful, we’ll take care of Frankie. I promise.”
Frank’s dad turned towards the living room, from which came a spirited play-by-play.
“Just make sure you guys don’t stay out too late.”
“Yes sir, we won’t.”
Once we closed the front door behind us and we hurried out of the yard, we sighed in relief.
“Your dad has problems, Frank,” I said in a low voice.
Frank looked away.
“You don’t have to tell me that. And he’ll end up calling the police on us again.”

This Is Not a Good Story (Poetry)

The first time I saw her, a few days after she moved in,
She was standing on the landing late at night,
Paralyzed in the middle of opening her door,
And staring up at the dark sky
As if she wanted to scream to the heavens above

For a few seconds I just stood motionless
While the rain came down upon my head;
She lowered her gaze at the person standing in front,
And her lips opened silently to say goodnight

It started when we talked and laughed once
As we leaned on the railing of the landing
In front of our apartment doors,
While the wind hit us with sudden gusts;
She wasn’t beautiful like the models in the media,
But she wasn’t at all like other girls

She was my next door neighbor,
And I would have been able to see into her room
If the wall between us were transparent

My neighbor’s hair was dark brown, like mine,
But her eyes were dry, hopeless,
As if she had been searching for a long time
Without any luck

When she learned I programmed websites,
She asked me how I’d been feeling,
Alone in my tiny apartment
With only the TV and PC for company

The loneliness I had kept bottled up inside
Suddenly erupted;
Inside of the cramped home I lived in,
It had been growing stronger every day

“It is lonely, but I have my own life,”
I answered honestly;
Although I wasn’t happy, the way I was living
Had been working out for me until then

My neighbor gave me a weary smile,
Which looked more natural
Than the smiles of the women on TV
“Your bed must be hard and cold,
Just like mine;
Do you also lie there
Staring at the wall?”

As I returned home from the office,
The wind was blowing hard,
And the air smelled like autumn;
When my neighbor looked down at me
From where she sat on the landing,
She seemed like a tiny thing

A different day, we sat on the grass
Of the nearby park we both used to visit;
I could tell we were both thinking
How to tell each other the whole truth,
But our lives were hard to explain
Even to ourselves

There was no way for me to comprehend
That look she gave me from time to time
(I felt that her heart, like those eyes
Had dried up and turned into stone)

“I’m just a regular, unimportant girl
Who is stuck with a dull, empty job,”
She said with her soft voice,
“And we are going through all of this
For no reason whatsoever;
What do we gain by tiring ourselves out
With so many silly endeavours?”
Her sad gaze looked straight at my face
“I can’t even begin to answer that,” I said

She had probably seen through the lies
And excuses that I made every day for my sake;
She knew everything that had gone on
For so long inside me

I tried telling her she wasn’t alone in this world,
But her body stiffened, and her face went pallid
“I miss many books on my shelf,
Which I haven’t read since elementary school”
Then she turned and shuffled toward her home,
While I followed her from far enough

After that time, we met almost every day,
And talked about anything that popped up
We went for walks or for a coffee,
And sometimes we watched videos online
We got so close, it scared the hell out of me

She showed me the old books on her shelf,
Which she had read dozens of times;
I borrowed some, and I found out
That those words had been made for us

My neighbor told me that many stories she liked
Back when she were a carefree child,
Those books she would have needed to share,
Most of them she lost along the way,
And many of the titles she forgot,
And a few of them won’t ever return in print

(So please, let these pages never be erased,
Let the memories in here
Never disappear)

We drank some beer and talked until late at night;
She told me that she had tried everything
To feel better, and it hadn’t worked yet,
At least not very well

She looked up at the night sky through the window
As she talked at length about her loneliness,
How it was just waiting inside all the time,
How there was no escape

I liked protecting her feelings from the world,
So she wouldn’t feel ashamed or isolated,
And I felt as if we could live as one
Even without words being exchanged between us

We held hands as friends and talked,
But that look kept showing on her face;
The look that said she couldn’t go on with it anymore,
Like the eyes of someone drowning at sea

We spent an afternoon in the park
Watching the autumn leaves fall
My neighbor spoke about her mother,
Who left her and went off to a distant country,
After which her father was never the same again
(He became depressed for months before disappearing)

She told me her story as tears rolled down her cheeks,
Although her eyes had dried up and turned to stone;
The loneliness and desperation she had bottled up
Was like a pressure cooker waiting for a match
(I think I could feel something inside me,
Getting bigger with time)

I admitted I didn’t understand this life either,
That like she repeated, it didn’t seem to make sense
We both agreed we had nowhere else to turn;
She gave me a hug, and I listened to the hard wind
As it hit her body

The walls of our cramped apartments were thin:
I often heard the sounds she made as she slept;
Even the slightest sigh, or breath she drew in
Felt loud inside me

We went out for karaoke, and we sang softly,
Or else we drank soda and ate our cheese sandwiches
We also laughed quite a bit;
It was a decent place to get to know each other more

We talked and we smiled
As if our minds were connected by wires;
We could spend hours together
Without ever getting tired

The next day my neighbor woke up hungover,
And when she exited her apartment,
I was already sitting on the landing
Reading one of the books she lent me

Instead of progressing in life, we were stuck,
Pushing the walls of our small world;
What awaited beyond was so big,
We lacked the strength to break out

We had our secret jokes
That we didn’t tell to anyone,
Not to our coworkers, or the strangers in the street,
Because they wouldn’t understand anyway

It felt more important for us to try to reach
Through the gaps in the books we shared;
We wouldn’t try to fill the emptiness with our words,
Because it was impossible

(To read her father’s books,
My neighbor sat on the floor,
And her eyes concentrated on the words
As if trying to find her way into their world)

That night, we hid together in my neighbor’s home;
Her back looked almost traslucent,
Naked and pale as the paper white sheets,
And I saw for the first time the words written on her skin:
‘This is not a good story’

(Every single morning I wake,
My heart is heavy, my mind foggy with despair)

I held her tight as we made love
While listening to some old record;
Afterward, we lay next to each other,
Looking at the cracked ceiling
Our breaths slowly grew shorter, quieter,
Then they seemed to stop entirely

She spoke of a black hole inside her,
That no matter how much I did for her,
Would not allow her to feel comfortable,
Or be filled with joy

I held my neighbor’s slender body
Like I had wished to do for months,
But I barely heard her whisper:
“Our lives will disappear some day
When the end finally comes for me,
Please let my thoughts continue
Through your hands, and your mind”

I was sure she was crying,
So I hugged her tightly;
Her shoulders shook while tears flowed
Across her pale cheeks

When morning came, the sky looked cold and grey,
Like when my dad used to drive me to school
It seemed so odd, lying beside this girl
While her face was turned towards mine
Instead of facing the wall or looking down,
Just being alone inside her own world

From then on, we slept together most nights,
Sometimes in the bed, and others on the couch;
We spent weekends watching television shows,
Listening to music we didn’t care for very much;
There were times when we had nothing to say
Except for anything related to the past, or work

We decided to move to a small apartment
With an office for my job,
And empty space for her parents’ things;
We found a cheap place in a town close by
(We couldn’t afford a larger apartment)
The landlord liked our faces; we didn’t need references
(And we were just too broke)

A Sunday evening, after the movie we went to see,
My neighbor talked about getting married some day

(Sometimes my body freezes;
It feels as if a black cloud descends upon me,
Which will consume me, suck out every breath;
The world spins so quickly then,
It’s difficult to hold on any longer,
And then I hear my next door neighbor whisper,
“Let us disappear, please”)

Her dark hair fluttered lightly behind us
While the rising sunlight reflected off the puddles;
I held on to her hand tightly while looking down
As the light of a new day spread its glow across us

(Some days she didn’t have the strength to get up;
She would lie in bed all day,
And kept whispering words over and over to no one;
Or wept silently until she fell asleep)

We both had lost something
Before finding the right thing again;
We could spend whole weeks or months
Holding each other like two children might;
I hadn’t felt such satisfaction for many years,
And now was a time to try all over again

I think my neighbor and I became happier
After getting engaged,
And with me as her witness,
We got married in the city hall
In front of ghost guests,
A large crowd

(The black hole in her chest
Had continued growing stronger, she said,
And she feared that one day it would swallow
Everything she had)

My head filled up with dreams to fulfill,
In this city that seemed too big,
In a place full of all sorts of new things I needed,
In a world in which I wanted to stay

I couldn’t take away her look of loneliness,
Of having spent her entire existence,
Since birth, in the world alone,
And knowing that it wasn’t just an inevitability,
But a natural law

I was scared by that feeling:
The same that overwhelmed me
Whenever I got a glimpse
Of the words written on her back

The words would surface and resurface
In the corners of my neighbor’s sight;
Whenever they would show themselves
In her weary eyes,
She would stare at me,
Or right through me,
As if asking,
“Why are we still this lonely?”

The only way for me to cope was with words,
Or by pretending not to notice
How she disappeared further inside herself;
To fill that blackness within her,
We tried to live our normal, boring lives,
Drifting along without any particular goal,
Just like the neighbors did

The world around us slowly moved on,
But I can’t describe what went on inside my head;
Maybe I was trying to hold onto the world
And everything that made sense

That day I watched her walk down our hallway,
And then beyond our apartment’s door;
The air smelled like the beginning of autumn,
And her footsteps didn’t sound like they belonged
To a young woman anymore

I put all the stories in my mind
Onto this page

‘This Is Not a Good Story’ by Jon Ureña

The Fellowship of Rot (Poetry)

To find herbs for potion crafting,
I always venture into the woods alone,
And always at night, to avoid detection
By the many who wish humanity ill

Among fern trees with moss-encrusted trunks,
The forest has so many hidden paths,
And anyone who knows them can disappear at will,
To seek medicinal plants in secret places

I’ve never needed strength, any power of force;
What mattered most was that I was brave enough
To do what others couldn’t do,
Or wouldn’t dare try

The night has long since turned black and grey,
With only starlight peeking through the trees
My footsteps leave behind the tracks I made,
But no longer do my steps crunch in the leaves;
Now the only thing making noise
Is a quiet sound that creeps into the air,
A whispering voice from another plane of space

I can smell what wafts off her body;
Her foul stench is seeping into my pores,
Like smoke from burning coal
That chokes out all the air around her

I hold my breath and lie down between bushes,
Where my body becomes the brush and weeds;
My hands are trembling uncontrollably now,
As I wait for her evil presence to fade away
Into oblivion, like smoke from burnt paper

The witch appears before my weary gaze
In all her twisted majesty and grace;
I’ve been discovered by the queen of rot,
Who glides upon a bed of crimson moss

I have felt this malevolent presence before,
A creature from a dark and dreadful past,
When a couple of daring experiments
Pried open the fabric of time and space:
She had been waiting for me down there,
Or for anyone who would enter her domain

I stare back at the darkness of her pupils,
Which shine with madness and malice untold
Then comes a flash of light as time resumes
From a split that seemed eternal before

The witch’s fluid form flows from tree to tree,
While she spreads forth tendrils from her frame
Her rotting limbs grow in length and number,
They burst outward into countless tentacles,
Each tearing off her outermost hide,
Leaving her flesh exposed like a dead snake’s,
To pull everything that they sense toward her core

I turn away in horror, unable to watch
I feel my heart racing, as my head begins spinning
My eyes grow wet, a lump raises to my throat
I know the witch has come to collect on what I owe

The leaves of the bushes are falling to the ground,
All around me there is death
As if someone had poured salt on the earth

Soon I feel the witch’s pull on the strands of time,
Trapping every living being under her spell;
Each second becomes one frozen in amber,
So nobody can run away from that which waits
In a void filled only with nothingness and hate

My heart beats wildly,
My lungs begin gasping in the dried air,
Then my eyes meet her dark red ones;
I am not immune to that malevolent stare,
As she glares into my mind and steals my will

A brilliant beam shoots out of the witch’s eyes,
Through the bushes I was hiding in
I use the same energy crackling through me
To fire back a bolt from my hands
That lances my enemy’s heart,
But it doesn’t even faze her:
She flows to the side and behind a tree,
Leaving behind a smoky trail

I run home as fast as my legs can carry me
And lock myself inside my bedroom
I want away from that terrible presence,
But I can’t shake her from my brain:
No matter how hard I try, her malice lingers on;
Even after closing my eyes,
She’s staring into them still

I take refuge within a bottle of liquid potion
To keep the witch’s rot from spreading,
Until I can figure out a brew
That could remove her curse,
But I’ll need some new herbs if I am to brew
Such a powerful magical concoction

I’ve never been a normal human,
But the witch’s essence can corrupt anyone,
Turning them into tormentors of mankind,
So my only hope of escaping
This vile presence
Is through alchemy

The ingredients for the brew are hard to find;
It will take a lot of time and preparation
To extract enough components
From the rare flora found in the nearby forest,
But I already feel the fever setting in:
I’m going to burn out, soon the effects
Will consume my very soul, if not my mind

It is well known, by people all around,
That once the poison takes hold of your veins,
You can never leave its grip again
Your body becomes restless, your bones creak,
And you start to feel an unquenchable thirst,
A ravenous hunger that can’t be sated,
Because all that your insides crave is the rot

The girl that you were is now no more
You’re becoming a creature
That has no right to walk among mankind;
You will become one that will bring
Instead of life and joy, chaos and death

I need to return to being myself,
Back to a person who deserves
To breathe the fresh, clean air,
Who lives and loves for the common good

I have to hurry and gather
All the ingredients I need
For a potion potent and strong;
Without them the poison’s effects can spread
Into every corner of humanity

But how do I get my hands on these
Strange plants, that grow nowhere near
My hometown, deep in the woodlands?
There must be something else
That can be used as a catalyst,
Something I might have seen
On one of my trips out into
The night-shrouded forest

I wake up on the forest floor
With no knowledge of how I have come here
Little by little I begin to remember:
I was searching for the rare ingredients
That would take me ages to find,
So I could slow down the poison in my blood,
But the witch’s venomous touch has spread
Deep into my brain, poisoning me;
Every thought I’ve ever held
Now feels tainted with a tinge of evil,
And everything I was before seems like an act,
The performance a marionette would play

All that remains is the witch,
A shadow that floats over me;
She haunts my every waking thought
As my body aches and burns

As the corruption slowly overtakes my senses,
All the things that made me happy,
Or made me laugh out loud,
Suddenly don’t mean anything to me;
All that remains of what made my life worth living
Are just a series of meaningless memories:
Like the first day I saw a flower bloom,
Or the day when my brother came over
And helped me plant my own tree in our garden
Before he disappeared into thin air,
Because he went out hunting
And never returned

In a small hut with smoke curling above,
On a moonlit winter night when snowflakes fell
From an icy sky, in my mother’s lap,
There were two faces that were dear to me,
Two smiling, kind faces which would say “We know,”
If someone tried asking them to understand

I can still move, I can think clearly,
But my hands are no longer my own:
They belong to another entity
Who desires the world’s destruction and pain,
And she wants me as her willing slave
To turn the whole human race
Into creatures of the night
That crave bloodshed and decay

I can hear the whispers in my head:
She says she is the queen,
The mistress of darkness,
Of chaos, despair and ruin;
All that lives has no choice
But to bow to her will
And do her biddings,
Or be consumed

The voices in my mind pray to this evil queen:
“Please destroy this town and all it contains,
Make them suffer until their end”
Then she laughs and tells me:
“Your suffering shall continue to increase,
For the town I wish you to destroy
Is the only thing keeping you alive”

I scream in rage and anguish:
“No more!”
I refuse to submit to the witch’s wicked plot;
I’ll fight back and rid myself of her curse at last,
Then I’ll burn away all the poisons inside my heart

Everything starts going black around me,
A darkness seeping through from all directions;
The witch’s voice speaks into my brain,
Making the sounds echo in an endless loop:

“I am a servant of Chaos,
The mistress of darkness,
The keeper of pain and decay
You must serve me or you’ll die”

My cries echo in empty air; I’m trapped
Between a monster of the dark and me;
I am the creature that was once myself,
But it has become nothing more than a beast

As I lose myself into the shadows,
A darkness deeper and darker grows;
All that I can see now is her evil,
My eyes see all things as they really were:
The world appears dark, twisted,
Strange, surreal, and ugly
All of the living beings I come across
Are grotesque, unnatural, and vile

My body feels like fire,
My mind screams in terror
As I trudge my way back to town
So I can hide among my kin

If only I could be strong and resist,
Then my parents and brother,
Who cared so deeply about me,
Would still live on in my heart,
As precious as stone, forever

If my soul is fated to burn away,
At least I want to tell of my transformation,
To show the world what evil lurks within,
But the bright faces that used to welcome me,
That greeted me every time I walked into the city,
Look at me as if I am a stranger;
I can tell that they smell my rottenness,
That from now on I will only spread decay,
And they can’t stand being near such filth;
They won’t be fooled by my pretty smile any longer,
For my mind is corrupted beyond salvation

The girl who I was has been destroyed,
She has burned and rotted like an ancient log;
Her remains have turned the entire forest black,
And all that is left of me is my rotten core

I feel like an imposter:
My essence has transformed and grown stronger,
And so have her dark powers
Which are much too great to oppose,
So I have to turn myself away
From my past self

My old friends accept me into their homes,
But they make the mistake of touching my skin:
My corruption spreads through their pores
Until they change as well, into beings like myself

Their minds and bodies twist
Into beasts with insatiable appetites,
But my body doesn’t burn as brightly as theirs:
I have the ability to control my new instincts,
So as long as I stay away from these fiends,
I won’t lose control of the poison in me

I must swallow my sorrow,
Bear this suffering;
It is a bittersweet taste,
This poison of rot

Some of the townsfolk manage to flee,
But my newly rotten friends get the rest of them;
The villagers have all gone to the town square,
There are a lot more people there than I thought;
They stand silently in a circle, with their heads down,
And look up when they see that I arrived

The crowd make way, opening a path for me to enter
As my feet carry out the witch’s cruel commands;
My infection now flows through their brains,
And they became a part of me,
And me of them

The world around me
Has turned dark and twisted;
All life now resembles
What it always looked like to the witch:
Rotting logs,
Toxic sludge and poisonous flowers,
Critters covered with scales,
Venomous fish,
Infected creatures that want to devour the world,
And all the life upon it

I am no more than the evil
Who took away the brother that I once knew;
The rot is consuming me,
My body shakes and my mind grows dim
As the last vestiges of reason fade away
In the depths of this corruption that has overcome
The girl whom my brother had always protected;
He said I should never have taken the path
That leads into this dark abyss,
Yet now there’s nowhere else
For him and me to turn
But down the hole
Where all our loved ones
Vanished from our lives

My life becomes a void
Where only emptiness and hate remain:
An eternity without the sun’s rays,
An infinite expanse without a star in sight;
No matter where I run, she is waiting there,
Sitting upon the throne that was once empty

I was once merely the girl from town
That concocted beneficial potions,
Dabbling in dark magic without considering
The havoc that could be wreaked;
Now I’m a rotten creature that no human
Would ever look upon and be pleased to know,
And all I’ve done to reach this point of insanity
Is to carry on with a desperate need to keep living,
When my existence meant nothing
Except as a catalyst for death and misery

The girl that you see before your eyes
May seem perfectly normal, to most of the world:
A sweet-natured maiden
Who is a healer and protector of the land,
An idealized portrait that can’t possibly
Appear as twisted and deformed
As my own visage

Her beauty may be perfect,
But she still hides her true self:
An undead creature
With an unending craving to destroy the light of life,
To suck out all goodness from its victim’s soul;
She’s a harbinger of doom
For any sentient being
Who would come across her touch

All life will end as if it were the final curtain call
For the farce that we have all watched,
And I am just the stagehand standing at attention
In front of a curtain that conceals my mistress’ true face;
A stagehand who will do whatever it takes
To see her role played
As she brings the performance
That She has spent centuries crafting:
The perfect ending to this tragic story
Of our souls being trapped
Within a body made to decay

All that I am now, the witch made manifest
In the form that best suits her purpose; a fiend
Who preys upon the weakest-hearted souls,
That will not even fight, as if they knew
The outcome was certain from the start
As a part of this grand design
That is so clearly laid out,
So beautifully designed
To lead to Her ultimate conclusion

We’re in her domain now,
All of us wretches are her playthings,
And we’re her instruments of torture
That will roam throughout this land

The witch only wants a single thing:
To spread corruption across all creation,
To use my blood, her seed,
To sow evil into every sentient creature
Until her enemies are wiped out, forever;
This world will have been completely purified,
From those whose very presence is distasteful to her

It’s a spiral downward of pain and fear;
There can’t be peace for someone carrying
Such evil within their heart,
There is no way back,
No escape,
Not in life, nor afterlife,
Nothing to save one who’s lost her mind

I cannot escape this destiny of mine,
Our suffering is part of Her grand design;
If that witch is the queen of chaos, so be it
Let the darkness run through my veins

I am no longer afraid;
This is how I must walk forward,
And I won’t turn away;
This isn’t the life that my parents or brother chose,
Or the life that my friends expected from me,
But what I deserve after all these terrible years
That have taken such an awful toll
On my fragile soul

‘The Fellowship of Rot’ by Jon Ureña

The Menace From Our Underworld (Poetry)

Hardy miners digging deep close to Neapolis
Were the first who broke into the sealed tunnels,
Where they came across an old statue
Of a humanoid beast carved in stone
It had unknown hieroglyphic symbols on it
The men went back up and told their friends:
“This is not just any temple or statues we’ve seen”
The miners followed the ancient tunnels and found
Cavernous chambers far down underground,
Under where Romans lived and died

As the miners wandered around the huge complex,
They could not believe what they saw:
The ruins were filled with gold and silver,
And precious gemstones they couldn’t count,
And many marble statues, of cultures unknown,
Lay scattered all over, broken or standing upright,
While others had been smashed to pieces on the floor
So hard that some looked like jagged rocks

On many walls were carved words,
But none of the men had seen them before
The statues made of sandstone and limestone
Showed snakes coiled tightly or humanoid monsters
With horns growing straight out of their skulls
Some wore crowns while others held swords

It seemed like all of the wealth
Had been stashed away for safekeeping,
Or else for hiding or selling off
When trouble came knocking on the door

The Romans feared an uprising at any moment,
But it was the enemy they sought within,
For they discovered passages and secret places
Hidden for millennia in great walls of stone
Tunnels so old they are forgotten and lost
Stalactites drip stone on top of each other,
Mud drips off walls stained red with blood

Ancient peoples mined in the bedrock long ago
This is history hidden in plain sight,
Far below the city streets we walk above
A labyrinth of tunnels, rooms, halls, caverns
Pipes carrying water through the rock,
Vents venting air, drains and sewers emptying waste,
Ropes hanging below to reach platforms high overhead,
Floors covered in sawdust, mud oozing from cracks,
Iron bridges spanning deep chasms

Miners waiting in the sunlight heard dying groans
Only a few of the men clambered back to the surface
Their faces were pale, they showed signs of shock
The survivors spoke of evil spirits and daemons
That haunt the caverns deep underground,
So they sent messages back home to let everyone know
That they mustn’t try to dig through the solid rock ceiling,
Because there’s lots of treasure hidden away below
Along with some very nasty creatures

As more of these tunnels were unearthed,
Fathers and mothers told their children, “Be careful!”
Little boys and girls said, “Don’t go near them”
From then on there were always armed men
Spending whole nights on watch at those entrances

Paved roads were laid down to connect the various sites,
To facilitate the exploration of these deadly depths
In a bid to protect the empire, walls were built
Around the entranceway of the ancient crypts
Most citizens feared what lay underground,
But brave Romans fought hard to tame the horrors below

The legions of Rome began a great work of exploration
To search out and destroy these horrible nests
Of dark magic and foulness that haunted the earth
They learned that the tunnels spanned long distances:
Some reached as far as Beneventum,
Others stretched even farther, to Arretium,
Others to the east to the Bithynian port,
While one led to the middle of the Danube River
The tunnels branched and looped and wove together
In every direction under the ground,
Through the rivers and valleys and hills and moors,
Past the forests and the mountains and the lakes
Whole underground roads to the ends of the Empire,
All filled with previously unknown horrors

These new discoveries led the emperor to another fear:
There might be passages leading out into the wild lands,
And enemies could come up from behind to surround us,
For the Romans were constantly defending the borders
Against the barbarians who wanted to take our lands
He ordered a few legions to cross into hostile territory
And see if they could find exits to the outside world

Months after those doomed miners found the first ruin,
Rumors spread among the public at large
That these ruins held great wealth beside the dangers,
This led to increased interested in the ‘Old Ruins’,
As the locals throughout the empire called them
Many of the tunnels were located in the countryside,
And the towns had been built on top of them

Caesar Augustus issued a decree:
Every town had to send soldiers to guard the entrances
No civilian was allowed inside without his permission,
They should stay clear of all the paths and chambers
And keep out of any shafts or caves or ditches,
And avoid even looking into the gaping holes;
They did not want to stare into the eyes of a daemon,
Or any other danger lurking down within

Caesar Augustus bade them all:
If you ever hear a voice speak or shout in the depths
And it sounds like an angry man or woman,
Do not step inside and look around!
Though many ignored such warnings;
They began to dig into the ancient stone walls
To find hidden chambers full of gold and riches
It didn’t take long for most of those explorers to die
Screaming for help and begging for their lives

Groups of wealthy merchants funded expeditions
To bring back proof of the ruins’ worthiness
They hired mercenaries to guard the party’s route
And disuade adventurers foolish enough
To attempt independent explorations
Mercenaries work well because they answer
Not to the laws, but to whoever pays them most
Here we have groups of young men and women,
Dressed in leather armor, with swords at their hips,
Who think they’re invincible and they’ll get rich
From the underground tunnels and the hidden treasure,
But they don’t know what they’re getting themselves into

Despite the high pay offered for such risks,
Many explorers didn’t want to face the danger,
But others felt compelled to dig and delve,
Unearthing untold riches and priceless artifacts,
Like the precious gems, gold, and silver vessels
Found in the gigantic storehouses and caverns
Some men became rich from the goods brought home,
With the discoveries made in these secret places,
But others went missing, and some corpses were found
With arrows through their hearts or heads smashed in

In many ruins, the legionaries felt the presence of evil,
Powerful forces that brought fear and despair
The skulking daemons had done terrible things
To the men who had ventured too deep underground
They killed them, or dragged them further down
The ones lucky enough to escape alive,
They had been tortured, and maimed,
And their cut off pieces were left to rot upon the floor

The tunnels were filled with creatures that lurked
In the shadows of the broken statues and pillars
Covered in blood, mud, dust, and filth
Some of these monsters seemed to be made of stone
One was a giant with the head of a lion,
Another looked more like a monstrous ape
Some of the daemons had no skin at all,
Some had long arms and huge tentacles for hands
Others walked upright and were covered in hair,
And they carried clubs and rocks in their fists
Others were shaped like serpents and scorpions;
Their mouths dripped with poison and venom
Another looked to have been carved out of fire:
Its body glowed red-hot; the men felt the heat
When it opened its mouth, flames roared out
The monsters hid in the dark corners, watching, waiting
For anyone who dared enter their domains

These creatures were called the Daemons of the Dark,
And they’d been there before Rome existed at all

We needed leadership as Rome faced a terrible threat
From within its own borders to deal with
A famous expedition was carried out in the year 8 AD,
When the emperor, Augustus himself,
Ordered his finest men to go investigate
The complex of ruins found under Herculaneum
He brought in experts and scholars and engineers
To begin the task of mapping the lost chambers,
And also sent a centuria of veteran legionaries
To venture into the complex of limestone mazes

The emperor hoped to find answers about how to defend
Against these vicious beasts and daemons roaming free
The many legionaries fought valiantly to repel their foes;
Few monsters would withstand the onslaught
Of the elite contubernia in the subterranean warzones

The tunnels were so dark and winding
That only a contubernium could walk them at a time,
There was no light except what they carried
A torch or lantern gave off little in the way of illumination,
And it was difficult to see much of anything

The tunnels were heavily overgrown with mushrooms
Many of the passages were blocked by fallen rocks,
Or the path flooded down to ankle height
The men kept their weapons close, stayed alert for danger

They heard strange whispers and shrieks of agony
From beyond the cracks and crevices,
But they were unable to locate the source of those sounds

One contubernium ventured into the ancient crypts,
Led by the veteran decanus Septimius Drusus
The air was thick with foul odors and miasmas
From rotting corpses long since gone to dust
The legionaries shuddered at the sight of such filth
They carefully moved forward into the tunnels
And soon came across men with shattered bodies,
Hacked to pieces with swords or axes
Some had their stomachs slashed open,
Others’ skulls were split wide
Like animals they lay dead on the ground
Clumps of flesh and brains oozed out onto the floor
The walls around them were splattered with gore

Rats squeaked as they crossed the only bridge
That spanned a subterranean river,
And the legionaries passed many old tombs
All long forgotten, some filled with bones

They paused for breath as they proceeded deeper,
Forcing their way through countless passages
Their torches burned low from frequent use
As they searched side-passages, walkways, staircases,
And even steps on which not much light shone

The soldiers chatted idly about their home,
How far away they lived, how many wives they had
They talked of mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters,
Of friends and neighbors they had left behind,
And spoke of the homes in the towns above ground
Where the people worked every day from dawn to dusk
Before returning home for a good meal and sleep

The legionaries pushed ahead, but came across
A horde of animated corpses, malevolent daemons
Who were still hungry and thirsty after all this time
The men hacked their way through this horde of undead
Some were rotten and fat, some looked like skeletons,
Others had no skin, just heads upon thin stalks,
Others appeared to be made entirely of bone,
But all these creatures were dead, and their bodies
Were covered in reeking black ooze,
And the stench of death was all around

It took what felt like an hour to fight off these fiends
Who had been trapped there forevermore
These cursed creatures would keep biting the men
Until their rotting bodies were torn apart
The contubernium lost two comrades that day,
But they ended the slaughtering of the wretched horde,
Conducted themselves well, bravely defending Rome
In service to His Majesty, Emperor Caesar Augustus

Septimius Drusus’ men were exhausted,
And he ordered a break to rest, drink, take a piss
The water they carried was running short
The warriors gulped down the last of the wine
The decanus brought out his flute and played a tune,
While others sang a song in a loud voice
About the battles they fought against evil spirits,
The monsters that lurked in the ancient underworld
They were washing off the filth of blood, sweat, and mud,
And laughing at the silly things they’d heard before

They reached an iron door blocking further progress
With all their strength they turned a massive wheel,
And the door creaked open, revealing darkness beyond
Pushing onward, the legionaries went ever deeper
They soon came to what seemed an underground pond
Where three strange women bathed their naked bodies
The soldiers stared in awe at the oddity of this scene
The beautiful women were covered in greenish scales
Their eyes glowed like lamps as they stared at the men
They beckoned the Romans to approach them

Caesar’s decanus, Septimius Drusus, told the men,
“Don’t do it! Don’t go near! They are nereids of the deep!”
Not a man moved as the beautiful women came closer
They seized one of the legionaries, then dragged him
Towards the pond as if to bring him into their realm
The women pressed themselves against the legionary
And kissed him repeatedly, holding him tight,
Rubbing their bodies up and down, moaning lustily
The legionaries were shocked to see this lewd display

The women tried to take off the legionary’s armor
The soldier resisted fiercely, but he couldn’t escape
“Enough!” Septimius roared. “We need to escape
While we still can. There’s no time for such pleasures
With these bizarre nereids of the underworld!”
He pointed his sword at the horrific trio of beauties
And ordered the legionaries forward
The men grabbed their accosted companion,
Although the women were pulling him into the pool
Once the stunned man returned to the formation,
The nereids disappeared into the water, swallowed whole

The men were weary after a long journey through
Tunnels and chambers, covered in dust and dirt
They discovered a series of rooms and corridors
Filled with neat stacks of scrolls and books,
And ancient paintings on the walls depicting scenes
Of days long past, before this world began
The soldiers were amazed by the ornate statues
That adorned every corner and wall of the chamber
Ancient peoples carved these works of art,
Drawing upon their memories for inspiration

Here was a warrior god with his broadsword in hand
His eyes stared out at those who passed him by,
With hounds chasing fleeing victims in the sand
Men were shown being dragged, beaten, and flogged,
Then driven to the mines of the underworld
The slaves were forced to work in the dark,
Toil all day, until they collapsed, all worn-out
Some of the mine shafts were so narrow,
They could only be dug downward using hands

Deformed forms moved among the lavish riches:
Hideous monsters, lurching around with greedy eyes
At the sound they made, the legionaries drew swords
Leaving their torches beside the tunnel’s mouth
They crept along the passageway with fear in their hearts
As the daemons slowly turned to face the intruders,
Those monstrosities looked like nothing seen:
They had huge heads, large gaping eye sockets,
Their skin was covered with scales of bright red,
A black cocoon of tentacles hung down to their waists,
They had three long arms and four legs ending in claws

They were hideous creatures that walked upright
Like apes or monkeys, but they were not human,
These monsters didn’t speak, but shrieked and howled
They also emitted foul odors, their breath reeking
They wore ancient armor, and carried enormous spears
Although no one knew where they came from, nor why
There was not much discussion about what to do next

The legionaries had never been so frightened,
But they stood side by side in phalanx formation
The creatures ran at them, grunting and growling
The Romans felt the earth shake as their enemy came,
And they raised up their shields to stop the charge

The soldiers hacked and stabbed with their short blades
Thrusting them into the flesh of these monsters,
While the horrible beasts attacked the Romans
Throwing spears over the heads of their comrades
To impale or cut down the brave men of the legion

The daemons had no thought but to kill and destroy
Our men rushed forward to engage the monsters,
Wielding their swords and stabbing them in the head
Two of the legionaries were pierced and wounded,
But there was a great roar of fury as the beasts fell
The legionaries gritted their teeth in pain and suffering,
For the battle took its toll on them

A pale green glow illuminated one of the caves:
A skeletal humanoid hovered in the center,
Its fleshless body floating just above a glowing orb
It turned to look at the men and hissed out loud
As the ghastly apparition was approaching slowly,
The daemon dropped to the floor, landing close,
Then transformed from a hovering dead man
Into a hideous insectoid monster with three eyes

As it crawled forward, its hairy, elongated legs
Reached towards the legionaries’ faces,
Who were now backed against a wall
The sulfuric stench of the creature’s breath
Scorched the noses of the terrified soldiers,
Their eyes watering and blinded by the fumes

They struggled to respond, their minds addled
One of the legionaries slashed the behemoth
The blade bit into its flesh, but did little damage
As the nightmare drew close, it opened wide
Revealing rows upon rows of razor-sharp teeth
They sliced through the legionary’s arm and leg,
And then the horrifying beast began feasting,
Gulping down the blood, slurping the marrow
The soldier was pinned to the wall by the huge jaws,
His hand grabbed and ripped away by the carnivore
The other legionaries were fighting back,
But the creature had an enormous strength

The insectoid’s jaws snapped shut around the man,
Smashing his armor and torso to pieces,
Then it lifted the dripping remains from the floor
As it held them aloft in front of the crowd,
The daemon fixed its gaze on another soldier,
Who brandished his sword in defense
He could do nothing as the monster gobbled him up,
His body disappeared within those hungry maws

The decanus Septimius Drusus struck the beast in the back
The weapon found a weak spot and gouged the monster
A hot gush of blood spilled forth, to land
Upon the heads of the terrified, weary men
They looked up and saw the hideous bug squirming
When its monstrous form was thrown to the ground,
Another legionary swung his sword again,
Striking the beast hard, slicing off a leg
The hideous mutant screeched in agony, then jumped
And scurried away, leaving a trail of gore behind
The traumatized legionaries had had enough for the day
They retreated to the surface, where daylight reigned

Successive expeditions pressed on for weeks on end
A divided centuria kept fighting under Herculaneum
The men were tired, filthy, hungry, and thirsty
Hordes of monsters fell prey to the legions’ weapons
Many legionaries were maimed and scarred,
More died before they could flee those hellish mazes
A few brought home riches beyond their wildest dreams
The survivors stumbled out of the tunnels ashen faced,
But victorious over all else

Of one contubernium, only one survivor emerged
He staggered out of the ancient tunnel and saw light,
The sun was shining, a beautiful blue sky overhead
The man was an orphan, barely twenty years old
His eyes were dull, and distant, like he wasn’t there
He was covered in blood, his hand clutched a ring:
A silver band adorned with gems caught the light
The gold inside gleamed brightly, warm, alive
With a final gasp, he collapsed onto the paved road

Many years passed, many legionaries were slain
As they pushed deeper into the unending darkness,
So they could one day certify that no enemy remained
In those ancient halls of death and destruction
Some men carved words in the stone, to warn others:
“Do not enter here! Beware the nereids of the deep!”

The philosophers of the time were beset by nightmares
Of unceasing hordes of otherworldly monsters
Clambering into the Roman towns from the tunnels below,
Determined to overrun every settlement they saw
To devour men and women or just make slaves
The scholars tried to solve the riddle of these creatures:
Where did they come from? Why are they attacking us?
How can we fight them, and survive to tell the tale?

The philosopher Pliny the Elder wrote in his treatise
‘The Denizens Of The Deep Underground Tunnels Are Real’,
“These strange subterranean creatures are indeed real
They’re not myths or legends, but living beings
That inhabit some of the deepest caves in the world
The legions march into the dark labyrinths,
Screaming their battle cry, ‘Forward, forward,
We’ll find the secrets of the underworld!’
It is the duty of the army to exterminate them
If we fail, then we’ll be forced to live in terror!”

Pliny’s words didn’t help the citizens of the empire
Who were plagued by dreadful nightmares and visions,
Worried about being attacked by subterranean horrors
Some people locked themselves in their homes at night,
Trying to sleep with the lights burning bright,
While others slept with a dagger nearby,
And they whispered stories of terrible encounters
Where darkness swallowed men whole, who dared venture
Into these ancient catacombs were daemons reigned

The Senate debated, but those men could offer little help
One senator suggested the beasts came out of the earth
Like maggots, and rose up to feed on human flesh
Other senators disagreed, saying the monsters
Were simply victims of ancient cataclysmic disaster,
From aeons past when thick ice sheets covered the world
Some argued that the catacombs were the perfect refuge,
And would provide them with protection in times of war
The Romans debate, and have no idea what to do
As they stare at the wondrous maps of the underworld,
Which show the location of passages and chambers
That connect directly to the surface above,
As well as the locations of statues and paintings,
Many of them depicting scenes of gods and goddesses
That none of the men present could begin to name

One of the senators stood up, and offered his thoughts:
“If I may be so bold as to speak my mind,
I believe the emperor is making a terrible mistake
My colleagues don’t seem to agree,
And call me paranoid and insane
When I say the monsters are hiding in our midst
They might not look it, but they’re more than animals
These creatures are superior beings who were once men
They have learned to disguise themselves,
They lure unsuspecting men, women and children,
And then they strike, with a swiftness that cannot fail
These daemons leave a trail of corpses in their wake
They killed hundreds, left even more maimed and broken
A few brave survivors escaped into the daylight,
Others were trapped inside the tunnels, unable to climb
Vast numbers of the enemy slain, yet still we fall
They made a mockery of our immortal legions,
And now the monsters feast upon our brave men”

The senate was stunned by this speech
Some of the men whispered among themselves
They asked the speaker if he had any proof,
Or just repeated wild stories from the streets
The man raised his voice, and told the senators
What they already knew in their cowardly hearts:
“We’ve lost the legions, and the empire is doomed!”

They feared that the old gods, who had ruled before,
Would rise up and destroy the eternal empire
They imagined scores of monsters and daemons
Reaching Rome itself and burning it to the ground
We keep praying to our own gods, to save civilization
From the barbarous horrors of our underworld

While the emperor pondered what to do next,
His generals advised him against further exploration
Rome faced many enemies, including those inside
No amount of manpower would clear those halls
The Senate agreed, and the entire operation ceased
The ancient tunnels were sealed, the entrances blocked,
And the scarred legionaries returned home to rest,
Their work done for the year, but they couldn’t forget
About the terrible creatures in the dark below

There is a secret, hidden history to be found,
In an age when the world yielded to the dawn:
The dark tunnels remain, hidden underground
Daemons lurk in the death-filled labyrinths,
Prisoners of a past age, trapped for aeons,
Waiting to find their way out again

We built walls to defend against outside threats,
And now the walls keep our monsters penned within

‘The Menace From Our Underworld’ by Jon Ureña

Happiness Is a Warm Cat-girl (Poetry)

How would I tolerate these infernal workdays,
Having to walk back home when the moon is out,
If my precious cat-girl wasn’t here to welcome me?
I’d have to get drunk on sake and sake alone
Now I drink at home just for fun, with Manami,
The one person who knows how to make it right:
My cat-girl whom I love more than anything

As I hold the keys, she opens my apartment’s door
And looks at me while her tail sticks straight up
She beams and says, “Welcome home, master!”
Then she leaps into my arms and hugs me tight
She rubs her soft face on mine as she purrs
While I stroke her silky coat and caress her head
She loves me endlessly, like any good girl should

She leads me by the hand into my tiny living room
Her tail swishes side to side, wagging happily
I lie down on the sofa and put my head on her lap
Manami pets my hair as I stare at the ceiling lights
“Did you have a good day at work?” she asks gently
Without Manami, I’d only have complaints,
But now I know what real happiness feels like
My cat-girl is my darling companion,
She comforts me from loneliness and pain
Nothing remains of that tiresome world
Except this cramped place where we live together
“It was exhausting as usual, as well as boring
Whatever wasn’t boring made me want to die
But none of that matters now that I can rest
By feeling my precious girl’s fingers in my scalp”

We talk softly like lovers do, our heads close
Like friends who can share their deepest secrets
Our conversation is never boring or stale
Manami helps me cope with everyday stress

There are more than enough reasons
Why I should love this beautiful creature
Her eyes are blue, her fur feels like silk
She smells so nice, like fresh rainwater
When I pet her, I feel a little thrill
That makes me want to take care of her
She purrs, licks my face, serves as a pillow,
Is warm and soothing and always there,
And whenever I remember her smiling face,
All I can think of is how much I adore her

Our country’s brutal office culture
Has led to many public suicides,
But the economy needed to keep going,
And I couldn’t afford to take a pay cut
For two decades, I’ve gone to work
And returned home too tired to live
I hadn’t dated anyone since high school
I still dreamed of those girls, who were so cool
I missed singing at the karaoke, going out for drinks
I didn’t remember how being young used to feel

Japan solved our troubles through technology
Some genius managed to mix human and cat DNA
It was a matter of breeding loving, loyal hybrids
Who would support the tired mass of workers
Dating humans is too hard, women too demanding;
I don’t want anybody but my cat-girl housewife

My cat-girlfriend has many talents:
She never complains about our daily chores
(She does them eagerly, even cleaning the dishes),
She cooks delicious meals (she loves canned tuna),
She’s a great listener, and a passionate lover,
She knows all the best places to eat sushi,
She’s very knowledgeable about movies,
And books, music, manga and anime,
She solves my problems on our weekly quizzes,
She can predict the weather and earthquakes,
And tell me if the stock market will go up,
Or whether to bet on baseball, football, or sumo
She also predicts the outcome of elections

One thing I’ve never experienced before
Is having someone who really cares about me
I am a withdrawn man, and I had lived alone
Since graduating college twenty years ago
But with my cat-girl, I finally found real love
She gives me hope when I’m down on my knees,
She comforts and supports me during bad times
When I feel her soft fur against my skin,
It makes all my troubles go away

Every night we cuddle under the sheets
Her purr vibrates throughout my body
She rubs my back and shoulders gently
As she bites my neck, making me moan
My cat-girl trembles as I fondle her ass,
And her fluffy tail twitches in delight
Sensing I’m excited, she licks me like mad
Her barbed tongue prickles my bare skin
She runs her soft fur across my chest
As she kisses my torso on her way down
My penis is standing straight up,
Aching for her mouth to wrap around it
I’m not sure how to describe the feeling
Of my cat-girl licking my cock

As we embrace, our tongues dance intertwined
She tastes like fish, and that’s okay
She’s wet and eager as I plunge into her hole
She moans and writhes while I rub her pointy ears
With our bodies pressed close we reach an orgasm
My cock slips from inside of her pussy, she cries out
“Oh! Master! I can’t believe how hard I came!”
We lie exhausted, enjoying each other’s warmth,
Then Manami stretches and yawns gently
“I am sleepy, master. Let us sleep now?”
Slowly we drift off to sleep in each other’s arms

I shake myself awake from a vivid dream
About being fucked by the president,
But Manami’s fur is tickling my belly button
I roll over and she climbs onto my chest
To pull my earlobe between her teeth

After petting each other for a little bit,
She starts masturbating using her fingers
The sight of Manami fingering herself
Puts me in the mood to do it myself too
My dick is rock hard and my cat-girl is wet

As I have breakfast, she prepares me a bento box
So I will remember my beloved during my break
I smile and say, “Thank you” to my beautiful girl
She watches me shove the chopsticks into my mouth
While stroking my hair with her warm paws
Sometimes, as I chew, she nibbles my earlobe

She leaves me love notes in my bento box:
“Meow, meow – I love you!”
“I’m so glad you’re my owner!”
“I hope you miss me and buy me lots of treats!”
“Your eyes looked so sad yesterday,
I will give you some comforting petting tonight”
“To my beloved who shares all his dreams with me”
“I love you! I want to sleep in your arms!”
She’s my precious girl, the only one I want
I waste so much time away from her
I can barely wait to leave this rotten office
And return home to cuddle up with Manami

During my break, as I eat the lunch she prepared,
I smile and write her some messages on my phone
“I’ll be back soon, my darling”
“Thank you for making me happy”
“My cat-girl is the most wonderful creature”
“I love you more than I could have imagined”
“I’ll be thinking of you while I work today”
“I wish you’d come to my office”
“You could work here if you wanted to”
My cat-girl has always been smarter than me
She’s a talented programmer and researcher,
And I can’t even do basic math correctly

Manami is my partner in crime, my sidekick
On my days off, we play video games,
We chat while watching anime,
She scratches the walls of my apartment,
She listens to me cry,
She massages my sore muscles,
We wrestle naked (she gets rough
And bites me, and I bite her back),
Sometimes she gets overstimulated
And runs around for no reason,
We take baths together,
We have the most loving sex
I feel like I’m living a dream

Nothing I did before made me content,
But my cat-girl is everything I need
In her presence, I can forget my woes;
I feel like my heart is wrapped in cotton
She’s always there when I get home
She’s the only person in my world
Who doesn’t treat me like a nuisance
I can’t imagine my life without her
My cat-girl is my warmest friend,
The greatest joy in my lonely world

“Manami,” I say, “we’re going drinking tonight!”
She’s thrilled and excited to go out
We visit a bar somewhere in Roppongi
She looks gorgeous, wearing a mini skirt
And a blouse that shows off her cleavage
Her high heels are a real turn-on
I can’t wait to check out her panties

Once we’ve had enough drinks,
I offer her to go to an all-you-can-eat buffet
The sushi is good and the sashimi is great
I point at the delicious fried shrimp,
But Manami has her mind on other things
“Meow, meow – I want to try these chicken wings!”

So drunk on sake, she always gets aroused
Her eyes get wide and glassy as a cat’s,
She loses control of her motor skills
I tease her, telling her how sexy she is
She scratches me with her claws until I bleed,
But I just want to stroke her silky coat
And caress her head as we fall asleep

Cat-girls are immortal, she will outlive me
When I pass, she’ll find someone else to love
But one of these days, those scientists will discover
How we can finally make our cat-girls pregnant,
So we can bring forth the most beautiful world,
One filled with a myriad of our furry kids

‘Happiness Is a Warm Cat-girl’ by Jon Ureña

A Chaperone For Hybrids (Poetry)

They first abducted me in the woods,
Where I went to play the guitar in peace
I suddenly felt something strange,
An electric shock running down my spine
My heart was beating fast, my body trembled
The sky sounded like a machine was drilling,
And lights flashed above me like lightning
A shadow fell over me, making me freeze
It was projected by an enormous black ship
Then a strange voice spoke from far away,
“You are going to help us with our research”
I tried to run but it felt like a force field
Took hold of me and dragged me up

When I woke up in their ship,
I first noticed the aliens’ eyes:
Large, oval, and protruding,
Bright blue with an intensity
Like no other color I had seen
Their pupils are small black dots
That stared at me unblinkingly
With a dreadful curiosity

Their skin is a pale greenish-blue
That reminded me of the ocean
They smell nice, fresh and clean,
Very different from my own scent,
But these freaks are hairless
Except for their eyebrows,
And wisps of white around their ears
Which resemble antennae

They communicate through telepathy,
Which I had already expected
Their voices sound in my head
Like thunder or rolling waves
They probably thought we were primitive
Merely because we vocalize to speak
This is only partially correct,
Because we also use body language
To express our thoughts and feelings

The aliens are as stoic as they come:
They never smile nor frown,
Nor use their hands to gesture
I doubt they feel joy or anger,
Or possibly even sadness
It would explain why they didn’t have a clue
About why humankind came to be so fucked,
And it meant that we wouldn’t get along;
Most of our behaviors don’t make sense
Unless you think in terms of fun,
Or the primitive joy of destruction,
Or wanting to cum

I guess that the aliens are a hive mind
Due to their telepathic nature
They can share knowledge instantly,
Maybe while still maintaining privacy
It took them long to figure out
That we can’t transmit our thoughts
It might be hard to understand
How a complex society would succeed
When you can’t hear others in your mind

As I lay down on an operating table,
They checked my vitals, drew my blood
My heart rate increased,
My brain was buzzing like mad,
I started to sweat in the cool room
The aliens explained that they would take
Some of my cells and analyze them,
Find the DNA, check for mutations

I had already read about abductions,
And I had wondered how I would react
I wanted these far more intelligent beings
To consider me a fellow sentient creature,
If only to disuade them from butchering me,
So I didn’t curse, yell, cry, nor plead,
I just remained calm, polite and quiet
They’d return me when they were done,
Or else they’d dissect me, then put me in a jar
In either case, I wouldn’t be able to do shit

I hoped they wouldn’t smell my fear
I felt like they could take any part of me,
From my toes to my dick
I feared that they might cut off my balls
For the sake of science

I tried to get friendly with their leader,
Or at least the one who called the shots
He answered me in perfect English
(But I only heard his voice in my head)
He said that he was a doctor
Who specialized in genetics and biology
I asked him where they were from
“We’re from the planet VX-742”
“Well, that doesn’t mean much to me,
But nice to meet you, fellow people,
Because I hope you keep in mind
That I’m a person who would suffer pain,
Potentially harrowing amounts of it,
If you were to shove those sharp tools
Into any part of this fragile body”
“Don’t be afraid. We won’t hurt you”
I wiped the sweat off my forehead
“Yes, you always say that kind of shit
Are you guys going to kill me?”
“No, we just want to study you”

I thought about cattle mutilations,
And the Guarapiranga Reservoir
(That man whose eyes, ears, tongue
And genitalia had been removed,
As well as the digestive organs,
With no signs of decomposition)
I wanted to bring up my abduction,
But I could tell that they wouldn’t care
(Or even worse, they wouldn’t understand)

“So, do you guys have FTL drives?”
I asked the aliens, with a smile
They seemed surprised by my question,
They didn’t understand what it meant
“I wanted to know about how fast
This cool spaceship of yours goes,” I said
“You don’t have to worry about the speed,
Because we can go anywhere in space”
I was excited about their discovery,
If only because humans might partake
(If we pass through the Great Filter)
They couldn’t understand my agitation,
But they were kind enough to clarify
“We don’t need to use fuel, our energy is infinite,
And we can just stop at the nearest star”
“What? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!”

I thought about all the work it took
To make something complex like a car,
Or a computer chip or an iPhone
Hell, I wouldn’t know how to create a chair
These people had become their own gods

I felt so insignificant in front of them,
But the aliens remained calm as I asked,
“Alright, so do you have music, or books?”
“Music and reading are primitive things
Which we don’t use anymore,
We have more advanced technologies,
But we are in the process of cataloguing
All the artistic production of your race”
As a guitar player, that hurt,
But if I told them to fuck off now,
They would dissect me like a frog
“Do you know any good musicians,
Or writers who are doing great stuff?”
“We know many artists, but we haven’t
Discovered anyone worth mentioning yet”

I couldn’t think of anything else to ask,
And I suddenly wanted to remain silent,
So I lay back and let them examine me
One of the aliens held a device
To scan my brain and nervous system
A few of the aliens touched my skin:
They seemed to be studying the texture
Another alien pulled out a scalpel,
And I knew for sure I was about to die,
But he cut open my shirt to see my chest
I wondered if they would pay me for that

I had a feeling they were checking out my ass
I hoped they wouldn’t discover my prostate
They took pictures of every inch of me
With a floating eyeball that seemed sentient
I could hear the aliens talking inside my head
(It sounded like a crowd of drunken fans)
“I’d say he is a healthy specimen,
Although his heart rate seems to be too high
The muscles in his legs and arms look strong
His nipples are erect; he’s aroused
He has very large testicles,
And his penis is well-developed”
(But I might have imagined this part)

Another alien went inside my mouth
With a long probe that made me squirm
They removed some tissue from my throat
They also took samples of my hair
I was getting sick and nauseous from seeing
Their bizarre alien faces so close to mine

The aliens took samples of semen
Despite my shrivelled balls
(I was cold, and containing my fear)
They had conjured a fancy hallucination:
As I lay on a paradisiac beach in the sunset,
I was approached by a Hollywood actress,
Who intended to seduce me of all people
She wore a red dress with short sleeves,
And her breasts looked so big and soft
Her nipples were erect as she kissed me
(I could tell that this wasn’t real,
But I wanted to believe in that world)

After the mirage fondled me for a while,
I came into an artificial vagina
That a dispassionate alien was holding,
As if I were your average bull stud
“You’re fertile, you have excellent sperm,”
An alien said, but I felt violated
That alien added unnecessary info:
“Your ejaculate contains a lot of fructose,
Which makes it ideal for our hybridization”

I probably became the proud father
Of a whole series of hybrid children
That hopefully won’t require child support

One of the humans they had abducted,
An old, frail lady who would have fainted
Merely by staring at her face in the mirror,
As soon as she regained consciousness
She suffered a heart attack and died
The aliens didn’t show any emotion;
It’s almost as if they don’t feel pain
(So they can barely understand it)

They must be inhuman beings
(Besides being technically aliens)
I thought of all the humans I’ve known,
From the homeless to the billionaires,
All the politicians, journalists,
And even my teachers at school
They are all people, not a bunch
Of soulless machines

The aliens cut that old woman open calmly,
Took out what they thought was necessary
They removed her skin with a laser cutter
Without mercy for her old flesh and bone

I told them this abducting business is wrong,
They should not be experimenting on us,
But they said they would do so anyway
Because there was too much data available
From our brains, and from our DNA,
To learn more about human biology,
And they wanted to study our race
So they could better understand how
Humans think, feel, and make decisions

They seemed to have a lot of respect
For humankind, despite their crimes
(Both the aliens’ and ours, I guess)
I wondered if they would use this info
To decide whether or not to destroy us,
And I wasn’t too confident in the odds
(I would probably destroy us if I could)

Because I didn’t freak out like the others
(A woman in her thirties had peed herself,
And was hugging her knees while sobbing),
I felt a sense of camaraderie with the aliens
“I hope you guys don’t get caught and killed
By some human group trying to capture you”
“Don’t worry. We’re protected by a force field
That prevents us from being seen”

I asked them about the Great Filter
They had passed it many millennia ago
“We’re now in a universe where we could live forever,
And we are free to create whatever lifeforms
We want without worrying about extinction”
“What? You mean you created other species?”
“Yes, we have gone through millions of forms
In order to find ones that were suitable”
“You guys didn’t create human beings, right?”
“We wouldn’t create a primitive species”

The aliens said I had the potential
To become one of their most trusted allies,
But only after undergoing training
They said they needed my help
In order to reach more human beings,
So they offered me to work for them
I asked how I would get paid,
But it seemed that money was a concept
Which the aliens couldn’t understand
They said my payment would come in time,
When I helped them achieve their goals

“What are your goals, exactly?” I asked
They told me that humanity had been stagnant
Too long, we were like a shipwreck,
We had to move forward or else die
As I pondered their ominous words,
The aliens enticed me with benefits:
They would provide food, water, shelter,
A place to sleep at night, and sex
The insisted about the available sex
If I wanted sex, I just had to say, “Please”
I wouldn’t need to worry about loneliness

Intrigued, I inquired about their whores,
Or alien prostitutes, the preferred term
The poor girls were artificial hybrids
Made from human and some aliens’ DNA
(They clarified that it came from different aliens,
Another species they experimented on)
My abductors said that I wouldn’t need to pay,
They wouldn’t even ask for my ID

I took one look at those hybrid prostitutes,
Who looked like beautiful human women
But with bulging, compound insectoid eyes,
At least clever enough to know all the moves,
And I felt sorry about their lot in life
Still, their mouths and pussies did wonders

After one of those sexual encounters ended,
And I lay on an alien mattress with the hybrid,
I caressed her naked back and kissed her neck
Her bulging eyes were freaky, but whatever;
I hated plenty of stuff about my own body
“Are you happy being an alien prostitute?”
I wished to know, fearing the answer
“Yes. I’m always happy no matter what”
I realized that she wasn’t exaggerating:
I couldn’t sense any apprehension towards me,
Nor about her life as a probable sexual slave
She was proud of being the property
Of these aliens, and even said so
“They’re kind, they give us everything we want”

It was easy to give someone what they wanted,
If they could only want what you wanted,
And if they didn’t care about anything
But getting laid, then everyone’s a winner
“Are you able to experience any discomfort,
Like anxiety, sadness, depression, and other ills
With which us humans constantly struggle?”
I asked, not wanting to hear the answer
“No, we don’t feel pain or suffering
We are immortal and will never grow old,
And if something happens to hurt us,
Our bodies can be repaired easily
Besides, we’re too busy having sex
With as many people as we can find”
I couldn’t decide whether to pity this hybrid,
Because my life was dependent on lessening pain,
But her body was warm and her skin soft
I would leave those dilemmas for academics

Despite the aliens’ generous offer,
I refused to live in their ship
I am a human, goddamn it,
And these fuckers kidnapped me
I had to watch how they experimented
On the other hapless people,
Around ten of them in the same room
The aliens didn’t give a shit
If the humans cried in terror,
So I would stay here, in this world of mine
Where there are mostly things I don’t like

The aliens didn’t seem to understand
Why I was so reluctant to stay;
They thought I would be grateful
That they would have taken me away
From the horrors of this world,
But I told them I wasn’t a masochist,
And I didn’t want to see humans suffer
The aliens’ expressions were vacant

After they returned me back home,
I was happy they hadn’t murdered me,
So I casually welcomed meeting them again
They promised that they would come back,
As a chill human could help their goals
(They didn’t put it in those words)

Although I wanted to tell the whole world
About my disconcerting experience,
I would be another babbling loon
For the majority of this fucked up race
I had been abducted with other folks,
But I never expected to come across
One of such sufferers in civilian clothes,
Until I talked with a friend of mine,
A dopehead who couldn’t find a job
She also got abducted by aliens,
But she believed it was a hallucination
“Yeah man, I was totally wasted
When I saw a UFO land
It was so bizarre and cool
They had these big fucking eyes,
All bright blue and shit,
And I felt like I was flying!”
She didn’t even believe me
When I showed her the scars
From the alien surgical tools,
So there was no point in telling others

As they days passed, I grew jumpy
I had developed something like PTSD,
I had nightmares about being abducted
These fucking aliens were fiends
Kidnapping people is a violent act
They must have been malicious by default,
Or at the very least chaotic neutral

They cared for us like we care for bears,
In the sense that we study them,
In some cases share cool moments
(Like enticing them with food to wave,
While recording it for YouTube),
A few freaks try to fuck them,
But otherwise we stay away,
Because bears can get homicidal
Against the nearby human beings
Who were merely standing around
(Either because they feared for the cubs,
Or just because bears are angry maniacs)
But I did empathize with the wariness
That the aliens displayed about us:
I would have chosen to be a giraffe
Instead

I suspected that these aliens
Had abducted many people
From different countries
For their scientific research,
And had kept many of them
As pets, or as slaves of any kind
They weren’t forthcoming
About the truth of these matters,
But whenever I was abducted again,
I asked the aliens to take care of them,
Of the other abducted people I mean,
So they wouldn’t die of hunger or thirst,
And to contact me if they needed help
(The alien fuckers, I mean),
As apparently I worked for them

They have abducted me many times
Since that night they offered me sex
They introduced me to hybrid people
Who look like beautiful humans,
Both men and women, some children,
But they had no clue how to behave
In what we consider a civilized society,
Because they grew up in alien ships
Or wherever the fuck they hide them
Some of the hybrids are hot women,
Which makes this whole thing creepy,
Or I guess that’s what I should say
(Hard to know if the aliens were going
For a science project or a fetish)

Anyway, my job is to hang out
With these hybrid freaks
As their professional guide,
And teach them how to fit in
So they can infiltrate human society
I’ve become an expert on the subject,
I’m a walking encyclopedia
On the matter of passing for normal

Every day I woke up at dawn
To meet with a group of hybrids
That the aliens had beamed down,
And I walked with them around town,
And sometimes outside in nature
I took them to stores, libraries,
Banks, schools, parks, hospitals,
As I tried to explain to them
The ins and outs of human culture

I taught them how to buy groceries
Whether with cash or a credit card,
How to use the ATM machines,
How to socialize with humans,
How to dress and act in public
To avoid arousing suspicion,
How to go shopping for clothes,
How to read the menu in a restaurant,
What it means when someone asks,
“Do you want fries with your burger?”
(I’m not sure they understand
The concept of ‘fries’, but whatever),
How to make an appointment
At the doctor or dentist,
When and how to read a map,
What places they could go to
Without getting mugged,
How to drive cars and ride buses,
How to register to vote,
How to apply for a loan,
How to pay their taxes,
How to handle firearms,
Which women are the hottest,
How to deal with police officers
To avoid getting arrested
Or shot in the face,
Which groups of people to avoid,
And a myriad of other basic stuff

They were growing
Into handsome people
I would have been proud
If I wasn’t so creeped out

I had been feeling guilty for a while
Because this was an attempt at infiltration,
Possibly with some nefarious purpose,
And I was a traitor to humanity,
Who gave up our race for some hybrid pussy
I was just trying to save these experiments
From themselves and from the aliens

Because the hybrids weren’t raised here,
They might never be able to survive on Earth
I mean, you couldn’t teach those feral children
After they learned about manners from wolves
I feared what would happen to these freaks
If the aliens considered their batch a failure

I was trying to befriend some of the hybrids,
Treat them like regular folks instead of spies
One hybrid was a cute brunette girl, twenty or so
I think she’s from Spain, at least some of her DNA
“What name did the aliens give you?” I asked
She didn’t know why I was asking her that
“Human beings refer to each other by names,”
I said, “So what’s your name?”
The girl shrugged. “I don’t have one of those”
“Why not? How would I refer to you in particular?”
“We don’t need identifiers. We’re all the same species”
I stared at her for a moment and then asked,
“Are your alien overlords space communists?
You people aren’t a hive mind, you have to speak
Using that beautiful hybrid mouth of yours”
The hybrids just laughed, although I was serious
Space communism is a perilous matter
Still, I was surprised that they felt such joy
I guess the aliens left that human part in
“We can speak through our mouths,”
Said one of the hybrid men, who looks Swedish,
“But also through telepathy, like our leaders
We keep transmitting brain waves to each other”
I tried to stay friendly to this bunch of weirdoes
“I’d rather be a telepathic slave than a dumb animal”

I didn’t know how to treat these hybrids
They didn’t seem like the bad guys,
But I can’t stand communists,
So I wanted to avoid getting beguiled by them,
And particularly developing crushes on some,
No matter how cute or brunette they were
“You have to choose a name for yourself,”
I said to the dangerously hot hybrid from Spain
She thought for a while and then answered,
“My name is Liesl, like in ‘The Sound of Music'”
I had no clue what she was talking about

“Liesl, individuality is the greatest thing,
It gives us unique identities
Which differentiate us from other creatures
You have to resist your alien overlords”
As she smiled at me, I felt a tingle in my balls
I wish the two of us had been alone

Liesl was so clueless and innocent
I couldn’t help but be attracted to her
Her eyes are blue, her lips full and red
As if painted on a canvas of soft pink
They are the most sensual lips
Most nights, when I close my eyes,
I still see them in my mind

The way she held herself, the way she moved,
Her voice, and especially the smell of her hair,
All made her seem like an angel, or a goddess
Her hips swayed seductively as she walked
I found myself staring at the nape of her neck
And also down at her fine ass
I kept daydreaming about how it would feel
To kiss Liesl’s soft lips, and hold her in bed

She was curious of everything,
She was always eager to listen to me
I wished to teach her all about
The beauty of life, and the value of love
I taught her how to play the guitar
We practiced together some of my songs
As she sang along to the lyrics
She had a natural talent for music
Our voices harmonized perfectly
Although we were from different worlds,
Although our species didn’t match
I could tell that she was a kindred soul
Who understood what I was trying to say

I was a man in his twenties, damn it,
Who was abducted by aliens
Like a couple dozen times,
Who was now working for them,
For the sole reason of teaching these hybrids
How to pass for regular human beings,
And I wanted to see them succeed
If only because I was the one teaching them,
But I didn’t want Earth to end up conquered
By communists of any origin,
And the more I thought about my circumstances,
The more I believed that they must be commies,
Because they did this whole thing forcefully,
And they were mainly paying me in whores

A few months later, the aliens informed me
That I was to enroll in college with some hybrids
I thought they were high on their formaldehyde;
The college wouldn’t accept a high school dropout,
But turns out that the dean was a hybrid
From a successful previous generation,
And it wasn’t any effort to forge my documents
That was a huge lesson that made me paranoid
I started wondering which big shots were hybrids
The government and the media were suspect

I was living on campus, in a dormitory
Liesl was attending classes too
I tried to take all of her courses
I met her every morning at breakfast
At the dining hall, and then again at lunch
I figured it was time, as a fellow student,
To finally get entangled to my beloved hybrid

It was hard for me to focus on studying,
Because the aliens didn’t like to sleep:
I always had to wake up at dawn,
Although they abducted me some nights

I intended for Liesl and I to become a couple
I would teach her all about making out,
As well as the most loving sex acts
(Part of my job as their chaperone),
But some other guy asked her out first
He played basketball for the local team,
And was here on a sports scholarship
I had never experienced such jealousy
That bastard only wanted to fuck Liesl
She didn’t know what she was getting into,
So I had to warn her to avoid men like him

When I told her that she couldn’t go on dates
With random guys, she looked at me confused
“I am supposed to learn about human society,
And I should prepare myself for matrimony”
I gasped, then grasped her innocent hands
“Liesl, you don’t even have a name,
You stole one from some old movie
You are supposed to be handled with care
By someone who knows you are a freak,
Not an animal, not a normal person,
Just a beautiful, strange creature
That the aliens created for fun and profit”
My heart was pounding, but I stopped talking
I was afraid that Liesl would leave me
I couldn’t bear to see her hurt or scared,
And she needed somebody to protect her

She was shocked that I cared so much
I was the first person she ever met
Who understood her needs,
And who was also friends with her pals
She said, “I’m sorry, Mr. Gulliver,
But our leaders insisted on mingling
With the locals who weren’t abducted”
“Liesl, my last name isn’t Gulliver,
But I guess you may invent me one,
Because you are so cute and brunette
Anyway, I swear I will teach you love,
As well as how to fuck like an animal,
And one day we’ll have a weird spawn
With possibly corrupted DNA”

I tried to kiss Liesl, but she backed away
I felt so dirty, I couldn’t resist my urges
I was ashamed of my weakness and lust
“Mr. Gulliver, we can’t do this,”
She whispered as if it were a secret
I held her hand although mine trembled
I could barely look into her doe eyes
“You are too innocent for this world!
You don’t understand how humans are
If you open yourself up to these beasts,
They will destroy your pure heart
Haven’t I handled you with care?”

“You have, and I’m grateful to you,
But nothing can interfere with the plan
My high IQ, along with intensive studying
And the careful guidance that you imparted,
Will allow me to become a journalist,
A scholar, a researcher, or a politician
Some of us will become presidents”
My heart dropped by the way she spoke
I wanted to teach her everything good,
But it was a waste of fucking time:
Although her eyes were full of innocence,
Her mind was filled with alien thoughts

I felt like I had been stabbed in the chest
Why couldn’t I have a normal college love?
I wanted to be a good father to Liesl’s kids
I would have done my duty to pass humanity
To my half-hybrid, half-human offspring
I didn’t know if I was ready for that life,
But I knew that I would never betray her

I never even met my hybrid children
That the aliens created from my stolen sperm
I would have accepted my little freaks
Even if they turned out to have horse faces

“I fell in love with you, Liesl,” I confessed,
“Are you able to understand what that is?”
Liesl looked down, and then she said,
“I don’t really get it, but I am happy
That you came to feel that way for me”
I wanted to take her into my arms,
But I know that I wouldn’t be allowed
“You are always happy, Liesl,” I said bitterly,
“Those aliens designed you that way
I still haven’t decided whether to pity you
Or envy you for being so clueless, or fear you,
Or rejoice for the future of my broken species”

Liesl smiled, then she hugged me tightly
“We are the same, Mr. Gulliver
We carry the instructions of our ancient race”
I cried into her hybrid neck
“You have no clue what you’re talking about,
And my last name isn’t Gulliver”

Liesl dated that basketball player,
Then dated some other guys,
Graduated with honors,
Got an analyst job at a think tank,
Eventually got married,
And raised a boy and a girl

I kept in touch with her, at least at first
I ended up loving the bottle instead
I feel like shit, I hate the aliens,
But I admit that they did a good thing:
They saved us from a life of loneliness,
And a future of wretchedness and mayhem

I keep seeing Liesl on TV, I can’t avoid her,
Because she became the president of the US
She started a war with China over trade,
Although their president is also a hybrid
(They were playing some sort of 4D chess)

We used to fear a nuclear holocaust,
Or the threat of World Wars,
Or the lack of available pussy
The aliens have solved all that
Nobody ever learned about my role,
Nor about the hijacking of humankind

I have to live with this sorrow and shame,
But I guess the future lies in the hands
Of those blissfully unaware of painful things
Like anxiety, sadness, depression, or rage,
As those were weeded out of their brains
By the people who learned to understand us
And made sure that we don’t end up extinct

‘A Chaperone For Hybrids’ by Jon Ureña