The locals called out to me,
Gildas, the leader of the guard
A strange giant had entered our lands
He had requested to meet with our warriors

I had never seen a bigger man
Our tallest warriors couldn’t reach
The height of his chest
The man’s beard was thick and fearsome
Still, his eyes were wise

“My name is Kanazawahr the Immortal,”
The giant stated with a booming voice
“I have spent a long, long time watching
How different tribes destroyed each other
Through pointless wars
I witnessed strong men leading their people
Only to grow old and infirm,
And when they died, their successors
Plunged the land into chaos
For a long time, I wished to live in peace,
But I have decided to act, to assert myself
As the strongest and most powerful
So I can unite so many warring tribes
Into a strong, peaceful empire
That will last for eternity
Under my careful rule”

My men and I stood around confused
Such words coming from a regular man
Would have sounded like madness,
But uttered by this powerful giant,
We felt the strength of his convictions
We were eager to keep listening

“I ask for you fine, strong men,”
Kanazawahr the Immortal said,
“To follow me to the stronghold
Of the damnable marauders
That have been attacking your town,
As well as the homes of your neighbors
You will witness me destroying them,
Grounding them into dust,
And you shall know
That you can trust me,
That you can follow me,
And that in the end we will become
Citizens of a vast, strong empire
That will rule this world”

We followed him out of town,
Through dangerous lands,
And we gathered together
At the edge of the forest,
From where we could see the fort
That the fallen Romans had built
There were raiders standing guard,
But the giant Kanazawahr
Ventured out of the treeline
He addressed us over his shoulder
“Witness my deeds, future brothers,
And imagine how grand an empire
We will build together”

Kanazawahr ran towards the fort
His speed was unbelievable
The raiders saw him coming,
But Kanazawahr pounced on them,
And the fiends soon disappeared
In a cloud of dust

The raiders were nasty evildoers,
They attacked the nearby communities
To kill the men, kidnap the women,
And steal everything they could
We had always wanted to destroy them
The giant had made us bold

My men and I hurried up behind him
Kanazawahr the giant led the attack
The fort gate was ancient and strong,
But while the raiders shouted from the walls,
Kanazawahr picked up a huge boulder,
Bigger than what a monster could move,
And he threw it against the gates,
Which exploded inwards
We charged through the fort gates,
Following the fearsome giant

We slaughtered every raider
Inside the fortress,
A righteous massacre
Started Kanazawahr’s empire

We found the captured women,
Kidnapped from many towns
Many of them were pregnant,
Some were holding small children
Their mouths were covered with cloths,
And their eyes were full of fear
As they gaped at Kanazawahr,
Who smiled down on them

“You have done nothing wrong,”
Kanazawahr said to them
“I am your saviour, I am here to rescue you
From the cruel hands of the raiders
That have kidnapped you, abused you,
And stolen everything from you
Do not be afraid, do not run,
For soon my empire will begin,
One in which every woman will be safe,
And the children will grow up in peace”
Kanazawahr turned to us, his men
“We will free these women and children,
And take back what has been taken”

The raiders had stolen most of the wealth
Of the surrounding communities,
They had brought their captives here
To sell them as slaves
So they could buy more weapons
To ruin the lands all over again
Under Kanazawahr’s wise orders,
We set about returning the goods
Back to their rightful owners
The women cried and laughed
When they realized that they would be free
All of the kids who had been held captive
Were running around in excitement,
Pretending they were also soldiers
It was a glorious day

Kanazawahr the Immortal offered us
To become his army
I saw a potential in the stranger,
And we gladly accepted his proposal
I knew it wouldn’t be easy,
But I had faith that he would succeed
Because I knew he was great of heart
I became the giant’s commander,
And I ordered my most trusted soldier
To follow our leader everywhere he went

The ancient fort of the fallen Romans
Became our stronghold
Kanazawahr the giant lived among us
Some of the rescued women stayed around
They got Kanazawahr to sleep more often,
And made sure his food was prepared

We rode around neighboring lands
And came to learn of many marauders,
Who had taken over towns and cities
Killing everyone who stood in their way
The survivors were terrified,
And not even the sight of a kind giant
Could kindle hope in their hearts,
But they learned to smile again
Once our army returned victorious
Along with the kidnapped women
The local men had joined us in the assaults,
And they got to witness the unlikely miracle
Of our leader, unarmed and bare-chested,
Tearing fiends apart with his bloodied hands

I became Kanazawahr’s esteemed friend
I learned that every day he mourned
The death of the many wives and children
He had come to know and love
He never spoke to the men about it,
He just offered us reassuring smiles
Whenever one of his loved ones had died,
Kanazawahr told me with sadness,
He had wished to spend his life alone
With no other companions,
Just to read books and contemplate,
But he knew that if he turned his back
On this dangerous and lonesome world,
Evil men would keep spreading their rot

My men and I had witnessed such deeds
From our immortal, brave leader,
That as we drank and talked one night,
We asked ourselves who could defeat him
Our answer was simple: none alive
Kanazawahr himself spoke up,
“I have a terrible weakness, my friends,
I become too easily distracted by women”
We all laughed merrily at his words,
Glad that our fearsome leader had joked,
But Kanazawahr’s face was one of soberness
“What do you mean?” I asked to him
“It’s impossible for any man, even an immortal giant,
To resist the charms of beautiful women”
We remained silent as our leader chose his words
He told us how in his many years, many women
Had seduced him so completely,
That he would lose sight of his plans,
And settled for decades of peace and romance
Because he had chosen to become our ruler,
He could allow no weakness to lead him astray,
So he entrusted me, Gildas, his right hand man,
The difficult task of forcing an immortal giant
To turn his back on the women eager to love him
Kanazawahr’s held my uneasy gaze with kindness
“Do not fear, for I won’t avoid the touch of women,
Just make sure I don’t lose myself for weeks,
When I should marching for the peace of us all”

In the morning of a hot summer day,
As the men and I rode towards the fort,
One of my soldiers reported to me
“An army is invading our lands
On their way to attack the village, sir!”
A group of marauders arrived
Led by a most ferocious-looking warrior
His face was covered in scars
He wore the armor of a Roman soldier,
And his longsword was made of iron
The huge warrior glared at us with hate
We were all ready for battle

“Gather your weapons, boys,”
I said calmly without averting my gaze
“Prepare yourselves, be brave
We shall make our leader proud”
I knew that Kanazawahr had been informed,
But we were here to protect the town

The army of raiders,
They shouted and laughed
Their leader charged towards us
He swung his longsword wildly,
Slashing as he went

Kanazawahr leaped over the trees
He landed raising a cloud of dust,
And he caught the raider leader’s sword
The giant held onto it so tightly
That the raider couldn’t pull it back
Kanazawahr gave him a chance to speak
“What is your purpose in our territory?”
“We have come to loot, steal, and destroy,”
the raider replied arrogantly
“The people of this land will become slaves,
Or they’ll pay us with their blood”
Kanazawahr snapped the man’s longsword
“I am the protector of these lands,
And anyone who threatens my people
Will face my wrath”

The raider tried to strike Kanazawahr,
But our giant leader grabbed his head
And snapped his neck,
Then hurled him away
As the rest of the raiders howled,
Kanazawahr the Immortal spoke to them
“You have the choice to turn around and leave,
Or to stay and fight so we can bring you death”
The raiders were terrified,
But also furious at the humiliation
They roared with rage and charged

A large shadow covered me,
And I looked up in shock
A huge, black bird was soaring above us
Its wingspan was over twenty meters
As it stared down at us,
It let out an eerie cry

Kanazawahr killed all the raiding fiends
With his huge, bloodied hands
The hearts of the rest just gave out,
They were frightened to death

Our fort grew bigger and stronger
A town formed around it
As the locals set up shops and houses
Kanazawahr wished to build walls
Around that town and others nearby
To protect them against any raids
His army contributed, along with local men
Kanazawahr himself lifted huge boulders
And piled them up high
Every man and woman and child
In these now peaceful lands
Who witnessed our giant leader’s deeds
Was convinced to join him,
Because he had proven his might
He never wanted to be like those fools
Who would go from town to town
Fighting for control of useless lands,
Kanazawahr had different purpose
And a plan for people to follow

With power and righteous deeds came
The favors of many, many women
There wasn’t a fertile woman around
Who took a gander at the muscled giant
And didn’t desire to lie with him
If Kanazawahr had not been so kind,
He would have raped them all
Our leader was always willing,
But he preferred to keep them safe
And treat them gently, like his own daughters
Kanazawahr loved and adored his brides,
Mostly because they were beautiful
He gave them nice homes and plenty of money

The women spoke of our leader’s mighty member,
They said that the head of a horse could fit inside,
And being ravished by it was like reaching heaven
As I listened to their praises, I feared
For these beautiful women’s health,
But they all seemed pleased,
Despite their awkward gait

I myself witnessed Kanazawahr’s member,
Along with many of my fellow soldiers,
When we were attacked on the road
And our leader ran out of his tent
He had been making love to two of his brides,
So the enemy army was forced to fight
A blue-balled giant with a monstrous cock
Its humongous head was leaking pre-cum,
Which was sliding down from the bulbous helmet
Until it stopped on his powerful thighs
Kanazawahr’s penis was over a meter long
My face twisted in shame as I realized
How tiny mine was compared to it

The attackers’ testicles shrivelled up,
And most of them surrendered with fear
Seeing our leader ready himself,
With lust evident in his eyes
Kanazawahr tore apart some unlucky bandits
His large fingers grabbed them by the throat
Before crushing their heads against the ground
Kanazawahr’s erection continued growing
As its huge veins popped out
It was big enough to crush an entire wagon

Our leader aroused with anger was a sight to see
He turned towards us like one possessed
“Fetch me more of these hot women,
I’ll reach my breaking point soon!”
A horde of women followers
Rushed to Kanazawahr’s tent
They couldn’t take their eyes off of him
As he approached them with a raging look
One of his brides ran over to him
Her eyes were wide, with a sense of fear
The giant’s penis was on the verge of bursting,
Just inches away from her open mouth
The woman began to tremble in a trance
While Kanazawahr pulled her onto the bed
The surviving raiders watched in awe

When we visited the local taverns
Many of the young maidens there
Wished to be on their knees servicing him
“Please let me suck your cock, sir,”
The women pleaded as they drooled
And licked their lips with eager tongues
I felt a tingling sensation in my groin
While witnessing this display of lust
Kanazawahr was always gentle with them,
And paid generously for their services

Some of the men from our growing territory,
All of them with a strange glint in their eyes,
Wished to pledge their fealty to Kanazawahr
By sucking on his member’s helmet
To swallow what came out of his balls,
Even though their mouths were too small
I wanted no part of such bizarre ceremony,
But I ended up catching some of these men
When they sneaked into Kanazawahr’s tent
The naked intruders waited on all fours,
Their heads turned towards our leader,
Who stood still and took a deep breath
Those men implored to be impaled
By our leader’s gigantic manhood
Surely they would have screamed in agony
As the massive head penetrated their assholes,
But Kanazawahr was weirded out by all this
He always travelled around with many brides,
And he wasn’t into men

The land that our kingdom encompassed
Was filled with woods, rivers, and lakes
There were even snowcapped mountains
I loved to take walks with my wife
Through now peaceful forests
Kanazawahr even accompanied us at times,
Making the place more beautiful
My lord was always on his guard,
Despite his tremendous size and might,
Because any of his trusted men or their families
Could be caught in the fight,
But the one time that some bandits ambushed us,
They recognized the mighty Kanazawahr
The fiends screamed in terror and fled

Important men from neighboring tribes
Would come to visit Kanazawahr,
To watch him ride on his giant stallion
Our leader had many children with women
From numerous, diverse communities
These children were half-breeds,
The offspring of an immortal god,
And yet Kanazawahr assured me
That none of his children ever inherited his gift

One of Kanazawahr most controversial rulings
During the first years of our kingdom
Involved giving equal rights to women
Even some of our soldiers complained to me,
Saying that women couldn’t defend our lands
I’m ashamed to say that I wondered myself
Whether our ruler had listened to the whispers
Of too many of his gorgeous brides,
But we did grant women weapons and armor
The numbers of the king’s army increased
With the addition of fearsome viragoes
I guess we came to learn, all of us men,
That women weren’t just there for decoration
They fought with a fierce determination,
In their eyes were flames of bravery,
Despite what they lacked between their legs

Wherever we travelled, we were known
As Kanazawahr and the Thousand Immortals,
Even though the rest of us could easily die
Our shields bore the symbol of a black bird,
Its massive head covered in spikes
Tales of our victories spread like wildfire,
And soon enough our leader became a legend

Kanazawahr ruled over a great nation
We, his men and women, were powerful and proud
Our swords shone so bright they glinted in the sun
We no longer wished to be ruled by men
Who lived for a normal human’s lifespan
We were heading towards clashes with other nations,
Because they understood our victory was inexorable
Some surrendered before they had to face us,
Some of them begged Kanazawahr for asylum
Our lands expanded far into neighboring kingdoms
The few remaining barbarians fled in terror
As we brought order to our old continent

Our army grew so large and powerful
That we would have gladly granted our leader
An eternity to spend at our capital in peace,
But whenever an army dared approach our borders,
Kanazawahr the mighty stood in front of his soldiers
He glared at the foolhardy invaders threatening us
As if he were a young god on Mount Olympus
Most of the enemy commanders kneeled in fear,
But one of those leaders challenged Kanazawahr
By baring his penis and pissing on the ground
All of us felt bad for what this man was about to face
“How dare you treat my people with such disrespect?!”
Our king bellowed as he pulled down his pants
Kanazawahr’s huge shaft reached out so long and heavy
That it speared that leader through the middle of the gut
The blood poured from the victim’s back in torrents
As the man struggled to yank out that giant pole
His intestines, torn open, ran in waves over the ground

We lived through times of bountiful harvests,
With delicious vegetables and fruits all around us,
So many places in which to gather wood
That we could keep our houses warm every winter
There were never floods to drown our crops in spring
Sickness was almost unknown among our people
The men and women became valiant and adventurous
And searched for lands to explore and settle on
The virtuous made pilgrimages to touch our king’s member,
A cock that never shrank, nor did his balls sag lower
When the people saw how much he cared for his subjects,
The peace and happiness reached new heights

Many of Kanazawahr’s trusted generals grew old,
Some retired to live in peace with their families,
Some focused on training a generation of knights,
Some travelled around and became mercenaries,
Some were sent in charge of new conquests
Our names rang throughout the known world
We became immortal too

Decades later, in what I call my old age,
My body is still strong, but my heart weakens by the day
Many of my friends have died, and I wonder about my fate
My grown children have moved out, some have married
They live in peace with their families and many offspring
I see how much better off I am compared to most men

Our emperor Kanazawahr’s face hasn’t grown a day older
Whenever my mortal body fails me for the last time,
I know that our leader will continue to fight for us,
Will make sure the children of our children grow old
Even after our people vanquish all who oppose us,
Kanazawahr will remain vigilant and bold

Kanazawahr the Immortal, his reign will never end
He has numerous wives and a myriad of children
His mighty penis grows larger every day
At least one hundred thousand women adore him,
And his palace is filled with beauty and nakedness
Many female dignitaries from distant lands visit him
And he makes love to them in secret

I’m a simple soldier, I’ve never known much,
But when I look at Kanazawahr the Immortal,
The most powerful man in the world,
I’m full of awe and reverence
The Emperor, immortal bulwark of our lands
His empire will last to the end of time

‘Kanazawahr and the Thousand Immortals’ by Jon Ureña