Interspecies Misdemeanours, Pt. 2 (Fiction)


I stopped Frank to open his backpack and pull out two flashlights. I gave them to both of my friends. Betty switched hers on to try it, which whitened her face.

“What’s our plan here?” I asked.

Frank pointed at the edge of the nearby forest that we had explored many times, but that usually didn’t contain aliens.

“Let’s walk in there. If nothing happens, we’ll leave.”

I disliked the implication that we wouldn’t leave the forest if something happened. I narrowed my eyes at Frank, but he gave me an impish grin.

“If nothing else,” Frank added, “I’m hoping to find out how many aliens were in that ship.”

“Yeah, I guess that’d be nice. To know exactly how much trouble we are in.”

When we approached the edge of the forest, I realized how dim it had gotten; the sun would hide in less than an hour. I pointed my flashlight at the space between the two trunks that acted as our doorway, then I switched the light on. My heart was pounding with excitement.

As soon as the canopy covered us, the air felt moist, and it smelled like fresh earth and leaves. We picked up the pace while we kept shining our lights in all directions. Betty was jogging next to me. I couldn’t help but glance at her; it disturbed me how much she had grown this last year.

“You’ve become so beautiful, Betty,” came out of my mouth.

I wanted to punch myself in the teeth, but she replied in a sarcastic tone.

“Thanks. You’re not so bad yourself.”

Our flashlights flickered over the trees and the undergrowth. We were getting anxious; so far into the forest, the trees were large and the foliage so dense that anything, or I guess anyone, could hide in there. The path we followed was made by people walking through this area for decades, or hundreds of years, and it was lined with tall bushes. What little remained of sunlight barely poured down the holes in the canopy, so we mainly relied on the flashlights to follow the path.

I heard wheezing coming from somewhere behind us, and the hairs on my arms stood up until I realized that it came from Betty. She coughed in her hand as quietly as she could. Frank and I stopped so she could reach us.

“I’m sorry,” Betty said in a raspy voice, “but my asthma is acting up.”

I patted her on the shoulder.

“It’s okay, Betty. We understand.”

As Betty catched her breath, Frank pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his backpack. He held a cigarette between his lips as he lit it with a match, then he snapped the match in half and threw it in the mud. He took a long drag and blew smoke towards the trees.

“What are you doing?” Betty asked.

“Nothing. Smoking.”

“I thought you quit.”

Frank checked his pulse.

“It’s just one fucking cigarette.”

We barely spoke as the trees grew thinner and the forest floor more navigable. We came across the small stream we knew, and after crossing over it, we spotted the clearing through the gaps in the foliage. It was a wide open field with tall grasses all around, a couple of ancient fallen trunks, some scattered leaves and twigs, and more importantly for our purposes, a huge otherworldly spaceship that looked like a flattened pyramid. It was bigger than any truck or bus we’d seen. Its three tiger orange lights must have come from its bottom surface. The three of us crouched behind some bushes and made sure to avoid aiming at the ship with our flashlights, although the faint sunrays were reflecting off the metallic surface.

We listened in silence for a few seconds as we held our breaths. I shook my head.

“That looks like a huge coffin,” I whispered, “for transporting dead people.”

“It’s huge,” Frank said, too loudly for my tastes. “I think it may be indeed a cargo carrier of some sort.”

Betty put her hands on both my left and Frank’s right shoulders, and attempted to push us down.

“It’s far too small to be a cargo carrier, stupid,” she whispered nervously. “It’s probably full of aliens, and we should be careful with the unknown. We may get abducted by those people. How would we return home then?”

“Well, we are already here, Betty,” I said, although I was doubting myself.

“How about we leave and tell the police that an alien spaceship landed in our neighborhood? Maybe we wouldn’t have to worry anymore, because they’ll send a team of experts to investigate. That’d be a lot safer than us approaching the ship. Besides, we haven’t explored the entire forest yet! There must be plenty of undiscovered stuff around here more interesting than a spaceship.”

Frank’s nose kept running, but the handkerchief he brought from home was already wet.

“Yeah, and who knows what kind of dangerous creatures live in these woods. Aliens, monsters and ghosts… There’s no telling what could happen. But what about your asthma, Betty?”

“You don’t know anything about asthmatic people, do you?” she replied annoyed. “They can go anywhere and do whatever they want.”

I patted Betty on the shoulder to calm her down, because she was shuddering, but I was getting annoyed as well: I remained the only one who wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to explore an alien spaceship.

“Frank, look over there,” I whispered. “Those footsteps.”

The three of us stared in that direction. Some of the grass in the clearing had been trampled by odd footsteps scattered as if the aliens had walked around while inspecting the area, but a trail of footsteps also leads out of the clearing and into the opposite depths of the enclosing forest.

“If they are advanced enough to build a spaceship and use it to travel to Earth, they must already know we are here,” I said confidently. “Whether or not we dare to get closer to their ship, we are going to end up meeting those invaders. One of those choices will allow us to explore an alien spaceship. So we already know what we must do, don’t we?”

Betty nodded nervously. Frank pulled out his camera.

“Alright, I can’t argue with that. Let’s get going then.”

It took us about ten seconds for the three of us to regain full mobility. We advanced carefully towards the treeline; once we crossed the edge, we’d stand exposed in the clearing. I stayed as close to Betty as possible. If the aliens ended up ambushing us, I didn’t want them to target Betty with their captivating powers, so it only made sense to stay this tight to each other’s side. As it had been happening for the last few months, whenever my bare skin brushed hers, I shivered warmly. I didn’t know why, nor what to do about that.

Frank was leading us. He was covered in sweat and holding his nose. His eyes kept darting around, searching for the next place of concealment. The sun was already setting behind us and the moon would soon rise. The air felt colder. My heart pounded on my chest as I realized how close to the mysterious ship we were getting.

After we hid ourselves behind a couple of the thickest tree trunks at this edge of the clearing, Frank gasped as he stared at the ground between his feet.

“Guys, check this out! Quick!” Frank exclaimed excitedly.

The three of us crouched to check out that spot. Frank lifted an object: a stone. Our friend inspected the color pattern underneath.

“Holy cow! It’s a fossil! It looks like a jawbone too, of a carnivorous species!” He ran his fingertips over its grooves. “It must be thousands of years old!”

I wasn’t as enthusiastic. The chances of finding a real dinosaur fossil in these woods were pretty slim, and we had aliens to worry about.

“It’s just an ordinary rock, Frank,” Betty said in a quavering voice.

He twisted his torso to reach for the backpack, likely to store his finding. I moved faster: I snatched the stone and tossed it away. It landed under a bush.

“Sam!” Frank complained.

“Don’t yell, damn it. That wasn’t a dinosaur, and this spaceship isn’t going to wait around forever.”

I looked at Betty for support, but my friend’s face had gone pale. She was trembling and squeezing her thighs together as her unfocused gaze stared through the trunk we were hiding behind.

“Betty, what’s wrong?” I asked.

“I need to pee. I already had to go when we were playing ball.”

“Shit, then just go.” I pointed at the nearby bushes. “We won’t take a peek, I swear.”

Betty looked around frantically.

“B-but what about the aliens?”

Frank, still frowning, wiped his nose with his sleeve.

“Unless you resemble a female alien, I wouldn’t worry about it. They are unlikely to want to mate with you.”

Betty’s face brightened as she anticipated emptying her bladder. She duckwalked away awkwardly until a thick bush hid her. I heard a long sigh, then splashing sounds.

I addressed Frank, mostly to distract myself.

“Don’t you want to check out what’s inside that thing? The spaceship, I mean. I wanna know, for sure.”

“I don’t know, man. Betty had a point there. It’s possible the aliens plan to capture us and use us as hostages.”

“They are just a bunch of stupid people from another planet. It’s no big deal.”

Frank shrugged.

“Well, alright.”

I wondered whether I was trying to convince Frank or myself. I had read many books about aliens and UFOs, so I knew how dangerous they were.

“Besides, we survived through that nightmare on the aircraft carrier, right? Along with the army of robots, and the giant monster that’s still chasing us.”

Frank looked aside as if trying to remember.

“I’m not sure if any of that ever happened…”

“Sure it did, Frank. We’ve been chased by a giant robot before, haven’t we?”

“Yeah, and it was really scary. But now I think of those things as being more like movies than real life.”

“No, it’s real. It’s all real, I’m afraid.”

Something was telling me that the aliens would try to harm us. I hoped to find some weapons that would help us fight them off, if it came to that.

When Betty duckwalked back to us while fixing the skirt of her dress, the relief had made her forget all about aliens, but then she eyed warily the big branch that I was holding like a baseball bat.

“What are you going to do with that?” she asked, concerned.

“Just in case I have to knock on their door.”

The three of us sneaked towards the spaceship. After we crossed the border into the clearing, I felt we were going to get zapped by laser guns at any moment, but we only heard birdsongs and our faint footsteps as we stepped on the tall grass.

The oval windows of the spaceship were blackened glass. From up close the hull looked dirty, scratched and dented in places, and with large patches of a rust-like substance. It reminded me of some kid’s first car that originally belonged to someone’s grandpa.

“If we hadn’t witnessed it descending, I could have sworn this ship has been abandoned for decades,” I said, disappointed.

As the three of us stood in front of a part of the hull where I would have installed a hatch, because it lacked any windows, we looked at each other confused about how to proceed. My heart was beating fast with excitement.

“Well, I’m going to touch it.”

As soon as I pressed my fingertips against the metallic surface, which felt like any other cool metal, an oval hole the size of an adult opened silently in the hull as if it had been cut with scissors. Both Betty and Frank jumped back, but I was mesmerized by the eerie, soft blue glow that filled the interior of the spaceship. The air smelled like something was burning.

The three of us stepped cautiously inside, then we were cut off from the remaining sunlight when the oval entryway turned into solid hull, this time with a loud clunk. I realized that Frank was about to panic, so I chuckled.

“That’s probably how alien spaceship hatches close. It doesn’t mean we are trapped here.”

“I-I guess.”

We forgot about our worries quickly; we were standing in the dimly lit interior of a spaceship with four seats and plenty more room for several people standing up. One of the seats was smaller than the other three, to fit someone of the size of a tween, and it was facing a small control panel mounted along the wall.

Betty kept looking around as if searching for something.

“Where is the bathroom?”

“What, you need to go again?” I asked in disbelief as I rested my big stick against a wall.

“No, idiot. The aliens need to pee as well, don’t they?”

“You have pee in your brain,” Frank said. “Maybe they don’t do that stuff. We have no clue about alien anatomy.”

Betty narrowed her eyes at Frank, but then she must have reached a satisfying conclusion, because she smirked and tilted her waist.

“Maybe they landed so they could take a leak.”

I was impressed, and didn’t know what to say. She had come up with the most absurd idea I’d heard yet.

A sudden flash startled me; Frank had snapped a picture. Now that the novelty of having entered an alien spaceship was fading quickly, I felt as if I had sneaked into the cockpit of a plane, no cooler than that. We had done crazier stuff in the grand scheme of things.

Betty and I started looking around for anything that could give us a hint about the aliens. The control panel was inscribed with weird characters that we wouldn’t comprehend. A few wires and cables attached to the walls ran to the back of the craft, where they sank into the floor.

I sighed.

“So what’s the deal with this ship? It looks like it was designed by a teenager who wasn’t very good at building things. There’s not much to see in it.”

Frank must had snapped about five pictures, likely documenting everything there was to see. As he stored his camera in the backpack, I plumped down on the pilot’s seat. The cushion was made of a material harder than I would have expected. It reminded me of sitting on a rock, but I guess I couldn’t complain after having walked all the way here.

The soft, blue glow that bathed the interior was coming out of nowhere and made the space resemble a cave, but instead of stalactites hanging from the roof, there were wires that looked like old spider webs. The silence inside the spaceship was eerie; the hull cut us off from even the birdsongs outside.

The three of us sat around for a while, but as the minutes ticked by, nothing happened.

“I’m bored,” Betty said.

I groaned. I was also getting impatient.

“I guess exploring alien spaceships is pretty boring compared to exploring forests and caves. Why bother?” I got up. “Let’s just go home.”

Betty smiled at me.

“Don’t forget to take your baseball bat!”

“They can keep it.”

The three of us stood in front of the section of the hull that had opened before. Although I was pressing my hands against the cool metal, it refused to react.

“Shit, we may actually be trapped inside this boring ship,” I mutter. “Let’s look for buttons or some sort of control panel that may open the hatch.”

We ran our hands over the wall. Betty ended up finding an indentation that, when pressed, opened a controller cabinet. It looked like a breaker box. Before I could say anything, Frank grabbed a handle and attempted to twist it.

“This panel is too close to the hatch to be unrelated. And I need to get home, man. My dad is seriously going to call the cops.”

The handle didn’t budge until Frank pulled it, and the oval entryway reappeared. The three of us let out sighs of relief, but when we switched on our flashlights to brighten the darkened clearing, our beams revealed that two humanoid beings were stepping on the tall grass as they headed towards us.

The one on the left was a chubby alien shorter than me. His head was bald and bulbous, and his nostrils large enough to shove marbles through them. He was wearing thick goggles like those of an aviator. His red lips had white lines around them that resembled the stripes of a feline, and his long, thin fingers, four in each hand, ended in black claws. His skin color reminded me of Frank’s dad.

The alien on the right was as tall as an adult. He was covered in thick, matted fur, and his head was egg-shaped and mostly featureless, lacking ears and a nose, except for two circular eyes that resembled coins, and big, sharp teeth that peeked out from under his lips. His odd mane reminded me of snakes. He was also walking on double the usual amount of legs. Both were wearing identical black jumpsuits without insignias.

When they saw us standing like idiots at the entrance of their spaceship, they stopped, startled. The bald, shorter alien looked up at his pal and let out a series of clicks and chirps.

Frank grabbed my shoulder, which almost made me drop my flashlight.

“Sam, these guys are not human.”

Interspecies Misdemeanours, Pt. 1 (Fiction)


As the three of us witnessed the spaceship descending from the sky, the soccer ball continued its parabolic trajectory and ended up hitting Betty in the head. However, none of us commented on it, because we were mesmerized by the three tiger orange, glowing lights in a triangle formation, which seemed to be attached to a metallic frame. The spaceship was headed towards the forest near our home, which we had explored countless times.

Both Frank and I took off running in the direction the spaceship was heading, although there was no way we would catch up to it. Betty sprinted after us and grabbed our shirt tails.

“I don’t like that one bit!” she complained.

Reluctantly, Frank and I stopped and followed Betty back to Frank’s yard, but we kept looking over our shoulders as the three glowing lights passed behind tall treetops. It was heading to the clearing near the center of the forest. Our trio of adventurers had gone through a lot of nonsense already, so I could understand Betty’s reluctance. There was that whole thing with the haunted factory last week. We had never encountered anything as interesting as a spaceship, let alone an alien spaceship, but the last thing we needed was to get involved in some alien drama involving UFOs. Still, none had landed at such close proximity to where we resided.

Anyway, in order to explain properly what we ended up discovering, it’s necessary to first introduce myself, Betty and Frank. I’m Sam, and back then I was a fifteen-year-old kid living in a typical suburban town. My friends were Frank Haimer, who lived a couple of blocks away, and Betty Krommer, whose dad worked at the auto plant. Betty and I were quite interested in space and science, but Frank was a dinosaur guy. The three of us had in common that since we were much younger, we rarely wanted to return home from playing in the street, and we explored around town whenever possible.

Betty crouched to pick up the soccer ball, then she lifted it to her shoulder. She was wearing a pink dress with white polka dots on it, and her hair was tied in pigtails. She turned to face me with a smile. I wanted to tell her that her hair had looked quite nice recently even when untied: it covered the sides of her neck and the top of her ears, giving her a more mature look.

“Forget about aliens. Let’s keep kicking! Although we’ll need a bigger yard if we keep playing with this.”

She kicked the ball down to Frank. After he caught it, he tossed the ball to me without taking his eyes off the alien spaceship, that was hovering over the clearing in the middle of the forest.

“I’ve got to admit this is pretty exciting,” Frank said.

“Yeah, I agree,” I said.

The alien spaceship slowly lowered itself to the forest floor, and disappeared fully behind the treetops.

“Forget about it,” Betty said as she motioned for me to throw her the ball. “It has to be some kind of secret military aircraft.”

My heart was beating fast. I didn’t want to wake up one day and think to myself, ‘You know, I should have taken the chance to see some aliens’. I could tell that Frank was waiting for me to come to a decision.

“What do you think, Sam?” he asked, both worried and excited. “Do we go or not? The aliens are waiting for us.”

“Fuck no,” Betty said.

“Let’s put it to a vote.”

Betty lost, but she conceded her defeat quickly enough. As we were about to run to the forest, we realized that Frank’s father was staring at us from the big living room window, but he quickly turned around and moved further into the house. Although he may have glanced at us casually, these last few years our parents always seemed suspicious of how we occupied our time, and I guess we gave them enough reasons.

“Maybe we should tell my parents first,” Frank said. “I don’t want to deal with the police again.”

I sighed.

“Yeah… We probably need to get your flashlights.”

“And my camera!” Frank said as he ran to his front door.

Frank’s parents approached us cautiously as we were filling up a backpack in the kitchen.

“What the hell are you kids planning this late already?” Frank’s dad asked gratingly. “Aren’t you tired enough from playing soccer or whatever you were doing?”

“Something more interesting came up,” Frank answered as he made sure a flashlight worked.

I realized that Betty was preparing too many sandwiches. Her butt looked way more appetizing, though.

“What are you doing, Betty?” I asked.

“The aliens are probably hungry, so I’m making them something to eat.”

Frank’s dad snapped his head back.

“What are you talking about? What’s this about aliens?”

“Didn’t you see the spaceship?” I asked the big man. “It had three glowing lights and was flying over the forest. It clearly landed in there.”

The old man’s eyes went white. He hunched over to grab his son’s shoulders.

“Frankie, UFOs are not a joke. These aliens are dangerous. I already told you what I learned in the war! One night they shot down a bomber as it was heading to Dresden, killing everyone on board, and then the UFO disappeared in a flash of lightning! I also heard that some aliens killed a guy by hitting him over the head repeatedly with something heavy. And for what? They stole everything the poor guy had and escaped with no trace!”

“They are just visiting,” Betty said as she smeared a slice of bread with jam. “They haven’t killed anyone.”

“You are going to endanger yourselves! Just think of the consequences if you meet one of those bastards.”

Frank’s dad was getting more and more agitated, and this time it wasn’t because of a football game. He was starting to look like a madman. Frank and I exchanged glances. I could tell he had also realized we needed to get out of there.

“Well, dad, anyway…” Frank said as he wiped his nose with a handkerchief. “We are leaving.”

Frank’s dad shook his head. He grabbed the doorknob and pulled the door shut with a loud click.

“I won’t let you out. This isn’t the time to be playing around.”

“Think about your dad’s heart pressure, honey,” Frank’s mother said mousily.

Frank frowned.

“Dad, this is nothing new. The forest near our house has never been safe. It’s infested with monsters and ghosts, along with plenty of other things to worry about. If you don’t believe me, ask Betty.”

Betty nodded at Frank’s dad. She had finished making the sandwiches and was now putting them in a box. I attached my usual flashlight to my belt.

“Don’t you want to see the aliens?” I asked Frank’s dad. “They could be the only ones left alive in the whole world! They might help us against the Russians and the Nazis.”

“To be fair, these aliens are probably just some dumb guys from another planet who got lost,” Frank said.

“Frankie, stop acting like a child,” his dad said severely. “This is serious.”

Frank and I looked at each other, and as usual we came up with the same plan. I offered his old man my brightest smile.

“We were just pulling your leg, sir. You’ve been to the forest plenty of times. There’s nothing there but trees and critters! You know that.”

Betty nods.

“Aliens are just stories for kids.”

“We dreamed that whole thing about the UFO,” I said. “Or maybe we were lying. In any case, we are going out for a bit, for reasons unrelated to aliens.”

As I unlatched the door and opened it, Frank’s dad grabbed me by the shirt.

“You little brat!” he shouted.

Frank looked embarrassed, and put a hand on his dad’s forearm.

“Let him go. He didn’t do anything.”

His dad couldn’t face his son’s embarrassment, and hung his head low, but his face remained red and angry. As he stared at the ground, a tear dropped from his eye.

“Sorry, Mr. Haimer,” I said.

“My name is Paul,” Frank’s dad grumbled. “Don’t call me Mr. Haimer.”

“Okay, Paul. But you don’t have to worry about us. Betty and I will be careful, we’ll take care of Frankie. I promise.”

Frank’s dad turned towards the living room, from which came a spirited play-by-play.

“Just make sure you guys don’t stay out too late,” the old man said over his shoulder.

“Yes sir, we won’t.”

Once we closed the front door behind us and we hurried out of the yard, we sighed in relief.

“Your dad has problems, Frank,” I said in a low voice.

Frank looked away.

“You don’t have to tell me that. And he’ll end up calling the police on us again.”

This Is Not a Good Story (Poetry)

The first time I saw her, a few days after she moved in,
My neighbor was standing on the landing late at night,
Frozen in the middle of opening her apartment door,
Staring up at the murky sky as if she wanted to scream.

For a few seconds I stood motionless
As the rain came down upon my head.
Then my neighbor lowered her gaze
At the stranger who gawked at her.

As I stared at her vacant, translucent eyes,
I imagined water running over ice floes.
Hers was a face painted on a doll
With nothing behind it except air.

Stunned, I bid her goodnight,
But she nodded in silence,
Let out an exhausted sigh,
Then walked into her apartment.

It started one day that we chatted
As we leaned on the railing of the landing
In front of the doors to our apartments,
While the wind chilled us with sudden gusts.
She wasn’t beautiful like the women on TV,
But she wasn’t at all like other girls.

She was my next door neighbor.
I would have been able to see into her room
If the wall between us were transparent.

My neighbor’s hair, like mine, was dark brown,
But her eyes were dry, hopeless,
As if she had been searching for a long time
Until she gave up.

I shared that I programmed websites,
But she asked me how I’d been feeling,
Alone in my tiny apartment
With only the TV and PC for company.

The loneliness I had bottled up inside myself,
Hidden deep within the folds of my mind,
Seemed suddenly exposed, raw,
And it burned through my skin.

“It is lonely, but I have my own life,”
I said hoarsely as I avoided her gaze.
I wasn’t happy, but the way I was living
Had been working out for me until then.

She waited until I dared to hold her gaze,
Then she offered a weary smile.
“Your bed must be hard and cold.
Do you also lie there and stare at the wall
As you wonder why you exist at all
In a world where everything turns to dust?”

As I returned home from the office,
The air smelled like autumn trees
And leaves yellowing under frosty skies.
Although the wind was blowing hard,
My neighbor looked down at me
From where she sat on the landing,
Her hands tucked into her armpits.
She seemed like a tiny, helpless thing
Trying desperately to conceal her pain.

On a different day, we sat side by side
On the grass of a nearby river embankment.
We watched the boats as they went by.
I could tell we were eager to open up,
But our lives were hard to explain
Even to ourselves.

I never managed to comprehend
That look she gave me from time to time.
I felt that her heart, like those eyes,
Had dried up and turned to stone.

“I’m just an ordinary, unimportant girl
Who is stuck with a dull, empty job.
I don’t think I’ve ever known what love means,
Or really cared about anybody else’s problems,
And we are enduring all of this
For no reason whatsoever.
What do we gain by tiring ourselves out
With so many silly endeavours?”

She could see through the lies and excuses
I told myself everyday to survive.
I tried convincing her she wasn’t alone anymore,
But her body stiffened, and her face went pallid.

“I miss many books on my shelf,
Which I haven’t read since elementary school.”
When, confused, I said I would buy them for her,
She let out a soft laugh that rang strangely loud,
Like the last gasp of some dying animal.
She turned and shuffled toward her home.
Cautiously, I followed her from far enough.

(My neighbor was right, of course.
Nothing in this life makes sense,
No one knows what tomorrow will bring,
Our happiness is short-lived, and so are we.)

After that time, we met almost every day.
We strolled slowly along or sat with a coffee,
And sometimes we watched online videos.
She became indispensable, and it scared me.

She showed me the old books on her shelf,
All worn and well used, stocked haphazardly,
Which she had read dozens of time over.
I borrowed some, and I soon found out
That someone had written them for us.

Many of the stories that my neighbor loved
Back when she was a carefree child growing up,
Those books she would have needed to share,
Most of them she lost along the way,
And many of their titles she forgot,
And a few of them won’t ever return in print,
But the memories remain fresh, bright, alive.

(Please, let these pages never be erased,
Let the memories saved here
Never disappear.)

We drank beer and talked until late at night.
She told me that she had tried everything
To feel better, but it hadn’t worked yet,
At least not very well.

She looked up at the night sky through the window
As she spoke at length about her loneliness,
How it waited under her skin
For any excuse to surface.

I liked protecting her feelings from the world,
So she wouldn’t feel ashamed nor isolated,
But I couldn’t erase that lonely look
Of someone drowning deep at sea.

We spent an afternoon in the park
Watching the autumn leaves fall
As the sky grew darker with clouds overhead.
My neighbor spoke about her mother,
Who left her by moving to a distant country,
After which her father was never the same again.

I witnessed her tears as they rolled down her cheeks.
Before she wiped them away, I reached out
And brushed them off with my fingertips.
The loneliness and desperation she contained
Were like a gas leak waiting for a match.

I hoped my touch might spark the explosion.
In her catharsis, something beautiful may happen,
Something new and real could come into being,
Just like the words that flowed from her lips,
Like the wind across ice floes on a frozen lake,
Leaving nothing in its wake.

My neighbor’s loneliness hurt more than mine did,
For it was hers that made her needlessly brave,
As if her life depended on facing her pain
And speaking honestly to me of it
Without caring what anyone thought of her.
We both agreed that we had nowhere else to turn,
And we embraced as the cold wind blew against us.

Instead of progressing in life, we were stuck
Pushing the walls of our small world together.
What awaited beyond was so big
That we lacked the strength to break out.

It felt more appropriate to reach
Through the gaps in the books we shared;
That emptiness inside both of us
Couldn’t be filled through our own words.

The walls of our cramped apartments were thin.
I listened to the sounds she made as she slept.
Even the slightest sigh, or breath she drew in,
They felt loud inside me as I lay awake in bed.

Her lips grew chapped, as did my fingers,
And we kept our hands warm inside our pockets.
Sometimes I found myself gazing at her mouth,
But I feared what would happen if we kissed.

We went out for karaoke and we sang softly.
We also ate sandwiches or sipped liquor.
The alcohol allowed us to laugh,
And also to grow much closer.

By now we often smiled in unison
As if our minds were connected by wires.
We could spend hours together
Without ever getting sick of each other.

The next day my neighbor woke up hungover,
And when she exited her apartment,
I was already sitting on the landing
Reading one of the books she had lent me.

I didn’t want to be hurt if I failed her now,
But I knew I couldn’t stand back anymore.
If my heart broke before hers did break,
Maybe it was best that way.

That night, we hid in my neighbor’s home.
Once she took off her faded shirt,
Her back looked almost translucent,
Naked and pale as the paper white sheets,
And I discovered the words written on her skin:
‘This is not a good story’.

(I dream of a woman whose tears are black
As ink spilled on snow white rice paper,
And who carries her burden of loss
Inside her all alone.)

I held her tight as we made love
While we listened to some old record.
Afterward we lay next to each other
And stared at the cracked ceiling.
Our breaths slowly grew shorter, quieter,
Then they seemed to stop entirely.

We remained perfectly still
And silent like stone.
We were floating there like ghosts
Caught somewhere outside of space and time.

She spoke of a black hole inside her heart,
Where everything she cared about had been sucked in,
Leaving only that void to consume her from within,
A hollow emptiness to which no one could give meaning.

I could tell she was crying,
So I hugged her tightly.
Her shoulders trembled
As her tears moistened my neck,
Shedding salty drops onto my collarbone,
Pouring her heart’s sorrow into me.

I held my neighbor’s slender body
Like I had wished to do for months.
I felt the soft, smooth warmth of every curve,
And how her breasts pressed against my chest.

Still, I barely heard her whisper,
“Our lives will end soon enough.
When it finally comes for me,
Please let my self continue
Through your hands and your thoughts.”

We awoke to an overcast, cold day
Like when my dad used to drive me to school.
It seemed so odd, lying beside this girl
While her face was turned towards mine
Instead of facing the wall or looking down
To be alone inside her secret world.

From then on, we slept together most nights,
Sometimes in our beds, and others on her couch.
We spent weekends watching television shows,
Listening to music we didn’t care for very much.
There were times when we had nothing to say
Except for anything related to the past, or work.

(Some days she lacked the strength to get up.
She would lie in bed from morning to night,
And whispered words over and over to no one
Or wept silently until she fell asleep.
Each time the waves of grief swept over her,
I wondered if the tide would take her away.)

We decided to move to a small apartment
With a home office for my job,
And empty space for her father’s stuff.
We found a cheap place in a town close by.
The landlord liked our faces,
So we didn’t have to offer references.

On a Sunday evening, after we exited a movie theater,
My neighbor talked about getting married some day.

(The black hole in her chest
Had continued growing stronger,
And she admitted that she feared
That one day it would swallow her up.)

Her dark hair fluttered lightly behind us
While the rising sunlight reflected off the puddles.
I held on to her hand tightly and I stared up ahead
As the light of a new day spread its glow across us.

All the desires I harbored became so clear
That they overwhelmed me with their beauty,
Transforming this world into an endless mirage
Within which we floated between joy and sadness.

(I wish I could find my old books again,
To take them with me everywhere I go.
Every time I close my eyes at night,
All I can see is her back as she turns away.)

We could spend a whole day
Holding each other like two children might.
I had never felt at home with anyone before,
And I feared that it would collapse if I let go.

I think my neighbor and I became happier
After we got engaged.
We got married in the city hall
In front of ghost guests,
A large crowd.

(Every single morning, when I wake up,
My heart is heavy, my mind foggy with despair,
And I grow even colder whenever I believe
That I can hear her footsteps approaching me.)

My head filled up with dreams to fulfill
In this city that seemed too big,
In a place full of all sorts of new stuff I needed,
In a world in which I now wanted to stay.

I couldn’t take away her look of loneliness,
Of having spent her entire existence,
Since birth, as an isolated creature,
And knowing that her loneliness
Was a natural law.

(Sometimes my body freezes abruptly,
As if a black cloud has descended upon me
To suck out every breath and consume me.
I’m thrown into the water at the edge of a whirlpool.
All the people I care about are swept away
Alongside the debris from the broken shipwrecked hull.
Then I hear my next door neighbor whisper,
“Let us disappear, please.”)

I never got used to the fear
That threatened to overwhelm me
Whenever I got a glimpse
Of the words written on her back.

That sentence would surface and resurface
In the corners of my neighbor’s sight.
Whenever I could read them in her vacant gaze,
She would stare at me,
Or right through me,
As if asking,
“Why are we still this lonely?”

The only way for me to cope was with words,
Or by pretending that I didn’t notice
How she disappeared further inside herself.
To fill that void within her,
We tried to live normal, boring lives,
Drifting along without any particular goal,
Just like our neighbors did.

(If I drown now, it won’t be for long.
The world will stop spinning,
It will stop and it will go dark
Like the ocean does at night
When everything becomes still and silent,
Nothing moving except the surface ripples
Of waves from far away.)

The world around us slowly moved on,
And I can’t describe what went on inside my head.
Maybe I was trying to hold onto a solid ledge,
And everything of which I could make sense.

The last time I saw her, she walked down the hallway,
And then beyond the entrance of our home.
Her fading footsteps didn’t sound like they belonged
To a young woman anymore.

The Fellowship of Rot (Poetry)

To find herbs for potion crafting,
I always venture into the woods alone,
And always at night, to avoid detection
By the many who wish humanity ill

Among fern trees with moss-encrusted trunks,
The forest has so many hidden paths,
And anyone who knows them can disappear at will,
To seek medicinal plants in secret places

I’ve never needed strength, any power of force;
What mattered most was that I was brave enough
To do what others couldn’t do,
Or wouldn’t dare try

The night has long since turned black and grey,
With only starlight peeking through the trees
My footsteps leave behind the tracks I made,
But no longer do my steps crunch in the leaves;
Now the only thing making noise
Is a quiet sound that creeps into the air,
A whispering voice from another plane of space

I can smell what wafts off her body;
Her foul stench is seeping into my pores,
Like smoke from burning coal
That chokes out all the air around her

I hold my breath and lie down between bushes,
Where my body becomes the brush and weeds;
My hands are trembling uncontrollably now,
As I wait for her evil presence to fade away
Into oblivion, like smoke from burnt paper

The witch appears before my weary gaze
In all her twisted majesty and grace;
I’ve been discovered by the queen of rot,
Who glides upon a bed of crimson moss

I have felt this malevolent presence before,
A creature from a dark and dreadful past,
When a couple of daring experiments
Pried open the fabric of time and space:
She had been waiting for me down there,
Or for anyone who would enter her domain

I stare back at the darkness of her pupils,
Which shine with madness and malice untold
Then comes a flash of light as time resumes
From a split that seemed eternal before

The witch’s fluid form flows from tree to tree,
While she spreads forth tendrils from her frame
Her rotting limbs grow in length and number,
They burst outward into countless tentacles,
Each tearing off her outermost hide,
Leaving her flesh exposed like a dead snake’s,
To pull everything that they sense toward her core

I turn away in horror, unable to watch
I feel my heart racing, as my head begins spinning
My eyes grow wet, a lump raises to my throat
I know the witch has come to collect on what I owe

The leaves of the bushes are falling to the ground,
All around me there is death
As if someone had poured salt on the earth

Soon I feel the witch’s pull on the strands of time,
Trapping every living being under her spell;
Each second becomes one frozen in amber,
So nobody can run away from that which waits
In a void filled only with nothingness and hate

My heart beats wildly,
My lungs begin gasping in the dried air,
Then my eyes meet her dark red ones;
I am not immune to that malevolent stare,
As she glares into my mind and steals my will

A brilliant beam shoots out of the witch’s eyes,
Through the bushes I was hiding in
I use the same energy crackling through me
To fire back a bolt from my hands
That lances my enemy’s heart,
But it doesn’t even faze her:
She flows to the side and behind a tree,
Leaving behind a smoky trail

I run home as fast as my legs can carry me
And lock myself inside my bedroom
I want away from that terrible presence,
But I can’t shake her from my brain:
No matter how hard I try, her malice lingers on;
Even after closing my eyes,
She’s staring into them still

I take refuge within a bottle of liquid potion
To keep the witch’s rot from spreading,
Until I can figure out a brew
That could remove her curse,
But I’ll need some new herbs if I am to brew
Such a powerful magical concoction

I’ve never been a normal human,
But the witch’s essence can corrupt anyone,
Turning them into tormentors of mankind,
So my only hope of escaping
This vile presence
Is through alchemy

The ingredients for the brew are hard to find;
It will take a lot of time and preparation
To extract enough components
From the rare flora found in the nearby forest,
But I already feel the fever setting in:
I’m going to burn out, soon the effects
Will consume my very soul, if not my mind

It is well known, by people all around,
That once the poison takes hold of your veins,
You can never leave its grip again
Your body becomes restless, your bones creak,
And you start to feel an unquenchable thirst,
A ravenous hunger that can’t be sated,
Because all that your insides crave is the rot

The girl that you were is now no more
You’re becoming a creature
That has no right to walk among mankind;
You will become one that will bring
Instead of life and joy, chaos and death

I need to return to being myself,
Back to a person who deserves
To breathe the fresh, clean air,
Who lives and loves for the common good

I have to hurry and gather
All the ingredients I need
For a potion potent and strong;
Without them the poison’s effects can spread
Into every corner of humanity

But how do I get my hands on these
Strange plants, that grow nowhere near
My hometown, deep in the woodlands?
There must be something else
That can be used as a catalyst,
Something I might have seen
On one of my trips out into
The night-shrouded forest

I wake up on the forest floor
With no knowledge of how I have come here
Little by little I begin to remember:
I was searching for the rare ingredients
That would take me ages to find,
So I could slow down the poison in my blood,
But the witch’s venomous touch has spread
Deep into my brain, poisoning me;
Every thought I’ve ever held
Now feels tainted with a tinge of evil,
And everything I was before seems like an act,
The performance a marionette would play

All that remains is the witch,
A shadow that floats over me;
She haunts my every waking thought
As my body aches and burns

As the corruption slowly overtakes my senses,
All the things that made me happy,
Or made me laugh out loud,
Suddenly don’t mean anything to me;
All that remains of what made my life worth living
Are just a series of meaningless memories:
Like the first day I saw a flower bloom,
Or the day when my brother came over
And helped me plant my own tree in our garden
Before he disappeared into thin air,
Because he went out hunting
And never returned

In a small hut with smoke curling above,
On a moonlit winter night when snowflakes fell
From an icy sky, in my mother’s lap,
There were two faces that were dear to me,
Two smiling, kind faces which would say “We know,”
If someone tried asking them to understand

I can still move, I can think clearly,
But my hands are no longer my own:
They belong to another entity
Who desires the world’s destruction and pain,
And she wants me as her willing slave
To turn the whole human race
Into creatures of the night
That crave bloodshed and decay

I can hear the whispers in my head:
She says she is the queen,
The mistress of darkness,
Of chaos, despair and ruin;
All that lives has no choice
But to bow to her will
And do her biddings,
Or be consumed

The voices in my mind pray to this evil queen:
“Please destroy this town and all it contains,
Make them suffer until their end”
Then she laughs and tells me:
“Your suffering shall continue to increase,
For the town I wish you to destroy
Is the only thing keeping you alive”

I scream in rage and anguish:
“No more!”
I refuse to submit to the witch’s wicked plot;
I’ll fight back and rid myself of her curse at last,
Then I’ll burn away all the poisons inside my heart

Everything starts going black around me,
A darkness seeping through from all directions;
The witch’s voice speaks into my brain,
Making the sounds echo in an endless loop:

“I am a servant of Chaos,
The mistress of darkness,
The keeper of pain and decay
You must serve me or you’ll die”

My cries echo in empty air; I’m trapped
Between a monster of the dark and me;
I am the creature that was once myself,
But it has become nothing more than a beast

As I lose myself into the shadows,
A darkness deeper and darker grows;
All that I can see now is her evil,
My eyes see all things as they really were:
The world appears dark, twisted,
Strange, surreal, and ugly
All of the living beings I come across
Are grotesque, unnatural, and vile

My body feels like fire,
My mind screams in terror
As I trudge my way back to town
So I can hide among my kin

If only I could be strong and resist,
Then my parents and brother,
Who cared so deeply about me,
Would still live on in my heart,
As precious as stone, forever

If my soul is fated to burn away,
At least I want to tell of my transformation,
To show the world what evil lurks within,
But the bright faces that used to welcome me,
That greeted me every time I walked into the city,
Look at me as if I am a stranger;
I can tell that they smell my rottenness,
That from now on I will only spread decay,
And they can’t stand being near such filth;
They won’t be fooled by my pretty smile any longer,
For my mind is corrupted beyond salvation

The girl who I was has been destroyed,
She has burned and rotted like an ancient log;
Her remains have turned the entire forest black,
And all that is left of me is my rotten core

I feel like an imposter:
My essence has transformed and grown stronger,
And so have her dark powers
Which are much too great to oppose,
So I have to turn myself away
From my past self

My old friends accept me into their homes,
But they make the mistake of touching my skin:
My corruption spreads through their pores
Until they change as well, into beings like myself

Their minds and bodies twist
Into beasts with insatiable appetites,
But my body doesn’t burn as brightly as theirs:
I have the ability to control my new instincts,
So as long as I stay away from these fiends,
I won’t lose control of the poison in me

I must swallow my sorrow,
Bear this suffering;
It is a bittersweet taste,
This poison of rot

Some of the townsfolk manage to flee,
But my newly rotten friends get the rest of them;
The villagers have all gone to the town square,
There are a lot more people there than I thought;
They stand silently in a circle, with their heads down,
And look up when they see that I arrived

The crowd make way, opening a path for me to enter
As my feet carry out the witch’s cruel commands;
My infection now flows through their brains,
And they became a part of me,
And me of them

The world around me
Has turned dark and twisted;
All life now resembles
What it always looked like to the witch:
Rotting logs,
Toxic sludge and poisonous flowers,
Critters covered with scales,
Venomous fish,
Infected creatures that want to devour the world,
And all the life upon it

I am no more than the evil
Who took away the brother that I once knew;
The rot is consuming me,
My body shakes and my mind grows dim
As the last vestiges of reason fade away
In the depths of this corruption that has overcome
The girl whom my brother had always protected;
He said I should never have taken the path
That leads into this dark abyss,
Yet now there’s nowhere else
For him and me to turn
But down the hole
Where all our loved ones
Vanished from our lives

My life becomes a void
Where only emptiness and hate remain:
An eternity without the sun’s rays,
An infinite expanse without a star in sight;
No matter where I run, she is waiting there,
Sitting upon the throne that was once empty

I was once merely the girl from town
That concocted beneficial potions,
Dabbling in dark magic without considering
The havoc that could be wreaked;
Now I’m a rotten creature that no human
Would ever look upon and be pleased to know,
And all I’ve done to reach this point of insanity
Is to carry on with a desperate need to keep living,
When my existence meant nothing
Except as a catalyst for death and misery

The girl that you see before your eyes
May seem perfectly normal, to most of the world:
A sweet-natured maiden
Who is a healer and protector of the land,
An idealized portrait that can’t possibly
Appear as twisted and deformed
As my own visage

Her beauty may be perfect,
But she still hides her true self:
An undead creature
With an unending craving to destroy the light of life,
To suck out all goodness from its victim’s soul;
She’s a harbinger of doom
For any sentient being
Who would come across her touch

All life will end as if it were the final curtain call
For the farce that we have all watched,
And I am just the stagehand standing at attention
In front of a curtain that conceals my mistress’ true face;
A stagehand who will do whatever it takes
To see her role played
As she brings the performance
That She has spent centuries crafting:
The perfect ending to this tragic story
Of our souls being trapped
Within a body made to decay

All that I am now, the witch made manifest
In the form that best suits her purpose; a fiend
Who preys upon the weakest-hearted souls,
That will not even fight, as if they knew
The outcome was certain from the start
As a part of this grand design
That is so clearly laid out,
So beautifully designed
To lead to Her ultimate conclusion

We’re in her domain now,
All of us wretches are her playthings,
And we’re her instruments of torture
That will roam throughout this land

The witch only wants a single thing:
To spread corruption across all creation,
To use my blood, her seed,
To sow evil into every sentient creature
Until her enemies are wiped out, forever;
This world will have been completely purified,
From those whose very presence is distasteful to her

It’s a spiral downward of pain and fear;
There can’t be peace for someone carrying
Such evil within their heart,
There is no way back,
No escape,
Not in life, nor afterlife,
Nothing to save one who’s lost her mind

I cannot escape this destiny of mine,
Our suffering is part of Her grand design;
If that witch is the queen of chaos, so be it
Let the darkness run through my veins

I am no longer afraid;
This is how I must walk forward,
And I won’t turn away;
This isn’t the life that my parents or brother chose,
Or the life that my friends expected from me,
But what I deserve after all these terrible years
That have taken such an awful toll
On my fragile soul

‘The Fellowship of Rot’ by Jon Ureña

The Menace From Our Underworld (Poetry)

Hardy miners digging deep close to Neapolis
Were the first who broke into the sealed tunnels,
Where they came across an old statue
Of a humanoid beast carved in stone
It had unknown hieroglyphic symbols on it
The men went back up and told their friends:
“This is not just any temple or statues we’ve seen”
The miners followed the ancient tunnels and found
Cavernous chambers far down underground,
Under where Romans lived and died

As the miners wandered around the huge complex,
They could not believe what they saw:
The ruins were filled with gold and silver,
And precious gemstones they couldn’t count,
And many marble statues, of cultures unknown,
Lay scattered all over, broken or standing upright,
While others had been smashed to pieces on the floor
So hard that some looked like jagged rocks

On many walls were carved words,
But none of the men had seen them before
The statues made of sandstone and limestone
Showed snakes coiled tightly or humanoid monsters
With horns growing straight out of their skulls
Some wore crowns while others held swords

It seemed like all of the wealth
Had been stashed away for safekeeping,
Or else for hiding or selling off
When trouble came knocking on the door

The Romans feared an uprising at any moment,
But it was the enemy they sought within,
For they discovered passages and secret places
Hidden for millennia in great walls of stone
Tunnels so old they are forgotten and lost
Stalactites drip stone on top of each other,
Mud drips off walls stained red with blood

Ancient peoples mined in the bedrock long ago
This is history hidden in plain sight,
Far below the city streets we walk above
A labyrinth of tunnels, rooms, halls, caverns
Pipes carrying water through the rock,
Vents venting air, drains and sewers emptying waste,
Ropes hanging below to reach platforms high overhead,
Floors covered in sawdust, mud oozing from cracks,
Iron bridges spanning deep chasms

Miners waiting in the sunlight heard dying groans
Only a few of the men clambered back to the surface
Their faces were pale, they showed signs of shock
The survivors spoke of evil spirits and daemons
That haunt the caverns deep underground,
So they sent messages back home to let everyone know
That they mustn’t try to dig through the solid rock ceiling,
Because there’s lots of treasure hidden away below
Along with some very nasty creatures

As more of these tunnels were unearthed,
Fathers and mothers told their children, “Be careful!”
Little boys and girls said, “Don’t go near them”
From then on there were always armed men
Spending whole nights on watch at those entrances

Paved roads were laid down to connect the various sites,
To facilitate the exploration of these deadly depths
In a bid to protect the empire, walls were built
Around the entranceway of the ancient crypts
Most citizens feared what lay underground,
But brave Romans fought hard to tame the horrors below

The legions of Rome began a great work of exploration
To search out and destroy these horrible nests
Of dark magic and foulness that haunted the earth
They learned that the tunnels spanned long distances:
Some reached as far as Beneventum,
Others stretched even farther, to Arretium,
Others to the east to the Bithynian port,
While one led to the middle of the Danube River
The tunnels branched and looped and wove together
In every direction under the ground,
Through the rivers and valleys and hills and moors,
Past the forests and the mountains and the lakes
Whole underground roads to the ends of the Empire,
All filled with previously unknown horrors

These new discoveries led the emperor to another fear:
There might be passages leading out into the wild lands,
And enemies could come up from behind to surround us,
For the Romans were constantly defending the borders
Against the barbarians who wanted to take our lands
He ordered a few legions to cross into hostile territory
And see if they could find exits to the outside world

Months after those doomed miners found the first ruin,
Rumors spread among the public at large
That these ruins held great wealth beside the dangers,
This led to increased interested in the ‘Old Ruins’,
As the locals throughout the empire called them
Many of the tunnels were located in the countryside,
And the towns had been built on top of them

Caesar Augustus issued a decree:
Every town had to send soldiers to guard the entrances
No civilian was allowed inside without his permission,
They should stay clear of all the paths and chambers
And keep out of any shafts or caves or ditches,
And avoid even looking into the gaping holes;
They did not want to stare into the eyes of a daemon,
Or any other danger lurking down within

Caesar Augustus bade them all:
If you ever hear a voice speak or shout in the depths
And it sounds like an angry man or woman,
Do not step inside and look around!
Though many ignored such warnings;
They began to dig into the ancient stone walls
To find hidden chambers full of gold and riches
It didn’t take long for most of those explorers to die
Screaming for help and begging for their lives

Groups of wealthy merchants funded expeditions
To bring back proof of the ruins’ worthiness
They hired mercenaries to guard the party’s route
And disuade adventurers foolish enough
To attempt independent explorations
Mercenaries work well because they answer
Not to the laws, but to whoever pays them most
Here we have groups of young men and women,
Dressed in leather armor, with swords at their hips,
Who think they’re invincible and they’ll get rich
From the underground tunnels and the hidden treasure,
But they don’t know what they’re getting themselves into

Despite the high pay offered for such risks,
Many explorers didn’t want to face the danger,
But others felt compelled to dig and delve,
Unearthing untold riches and priceless artifacts,
Like the precious gems, gold, and silver vessels
Found in the gigantic storehouses and caverns
Some men became rich from the goods brought home,
With the discoveries made in these secret places,
But others went missing, and some corpses were found
With arrows through their hearts or heads smashed in

In many ruins, the legionaries felt the presence of evil,
Powerful forces that brought fear and despair
The skulking daemons had done terrible things
To the men who had ventured too deep underground
They killed them, or dragged them further down
The ones lucky enough to escape alive,
They had been tortured, and maimed,
And their cut off pieces were left to rot upon the floor

The tunnels were filled with creatures that lurked
In the shadows of the broken statues and pillars
Covered in blood, mud, dust, and filth
Some of these monsters seemed to be made of stone
One was a giant with the head of a lion,
Another looked more like a monstrous ape
Some of the daemons had no skin at all,
Some had long arms and huge tentacles for hands
Others walked upright and were covered in hair,
And they carried clubs and rocks in their fists
Others were shaped like serpents and scorpions;
Their mouths dripped with poison and venom
Another looked to have been carved out of fire:
Its body glowed red-hot; the men felt the heat
When it opened its mouth, flames roared out
The monsters hid in the dark corners, watching, waiting
For anyone who dared enter their domains

These creatures were called the Daemons of the Dark,
And they’d been there before Rome existed at all

We needed leadership as Rome faced a terrible threat
From within its own borders to deal with
A famous expedition was carried out in the year 8 AD,
When the emperor, Augustus himself,
Ordered his finest men to go investigate
The complex of ruins found under Herculaneum
He brought in experts and scholars and engineers
To begin the task of mapping the lost chambers,
And also sent a centuria of veteran legionaries
To venture into the complex of limestone mazes

The emperor hoped to find answers about how to defend
Against these vicious beasts and daemons roaming free
The many legionaries fought valiantly to repel their foes;
Few monsters would withstand the onslaught
Of the elite contubernia in the subterranean warzones

The tunnels were so dark and winding
That only a contubernium could walk them at a time,
There was no light except what they carried
A torch or lantern gave off little in the way of illumination,
And it was difficult to see much of anything

The tunnels were heavily overgrown with mushrooms
Many of the passages were blocked by fallen rocks,
Or the path flooded down to ankle height
The men kept their weapons close, stayed alert for danger

They heard strange whispers and shrieks of agony
From beyond the cracks and crevices,
But they were unable to locate the source of those sounds

One contubernium ventured into the ancient crypts,
Led by the veteran decanus Septimius Drusus
The air was thick with foul odors and miasmas
From rotting corpses long since gone to dust
The legionaries shuddered at the sight of such filth
They carefully moved forward into the tunnels
And soon came across men with shattered bodies,
Hacked to pieces with swords or axes
Some had their stomachs slashed open,
Others’ skulls were split wide
Like animals they lay dead on the ground
Clumps of flesh and brains oozed out onto the floor
The walls around them were splattered with gore

Rats squeaked as they crossed the only bridge
That spanned a subterranean river,
And the legionaries passed many old tombs
All long forgotten, some filled with bones

They paused for breath as they proceeded deeper,
Forcing their way through countless passages
Their torches burned low from frequent use
As they searched side-passages, walkways, staircases,
And even steps on which not much light shone

The soldiers chatted idly about their home,
How far away they lived, how many wives they had
They talked of mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters,
Of friends and neighbors they had left behind,
And spoke of the homes in the towns above ground
Where the people worked every day from dawn to dusk
Before returning home for a good meal and sleep

The legionaries pushed ahead, but came across
A horde of animated corpses, malevolent daemons
Who were still hungry and thirsty after all this time
The men hacked their way through this horde of undead
Some were rotten and fat, some looked like skeletons,
Others had no skin, just heads upon thin stalks,
Others appeared to be made entirely of bone,
But all these creatures were dead, and their bodies
Were covered in reeking black ooze,
And the stench of death was all around

It took what felt like an hour to fight off these fiends
Who had been trapped there forevermore
These cursed creatures would keep biting the men
Until their rotting bodies were torn apart
The contubernium lost two comrades that day,
But they ended the slaughtering of the wretched horde,
Conducted themselves well, bravely defending Rome
In service to His Majesty, Emperor Caesar Augustus

Septimius Drusus’ men were exhausted,
And he ordered a break to rest, drink, take a piss
The water they carried was running short
The warriors gulped down the last of the wine
The decanus brought out his flute and played a tune,
While others sang a song in a loud voice
About the battles they fought against evil spirits,
The monsters that lurked in the ancient underworld
They were washing off the filth of blood, sweat, and mud,
And laughing at the silly things they’d heard before

They reached an iron door blocking further progress
With all their strength they turned a massive wheel,
And the door creaked open, revealing darkness beyond
Pushing onward, the legionaries went ever deeper
They soon came to what seemed an underground pond
Where three strange women bathed their naked bodies
The soldiers stared in awe at the oddity of this scene
The beautiful women were covered in greenish scales
Their eyes glowed like lamps as they stared at the men
They beckoned the Romans to approach them

Caesar’s decanus, Septimius Drusus, told the men,
“Don’t do it! Don’t go near! They are nereids of the deep!”
Not a man moved as the beautiful women came closer
They seized one of the legionaries, then dragged him
Towards the pond as if to bring him into their realm
The women pressed themselves against the legionary
And kissed him repeatedly, holding him tight,
Rubbing their bodies up and down, moaning lustily
The legionaries were shocked to see this lewd display

The women tried to take off the legionary’s armor
The soldier resisted fiercely, but he couldn’t escape
“Enough!” Septimius roared. “We need to escape
While we still can. There’s no time for such pleasures
With these bizarre nereids of the underworld!”
He pointed his sword at the horrific trio of beauties
And ordered the legionaries forward
The men grabbed their accosted companion,
Although the women were pulling him into the pool
Once the stunned man returned to the formation,
The nereids disappeared into the water, swallowed whole

The men were weary after a long journey through
Tunnels and chambers, covered in dust and dirt
They discovered a series of rooms and corridors
Filled with neat stacks of scrolls and books,
And ancient paintings on the walls depicting scenes
Of days long past, before this world began
The soldiers were amazed by the ornate statues
That adorned every corner and wall of the chamber
Ancient peoples carved these works of art,
Drawing upon their memories for inspiration

Here was a warrior god with his broadsword in hand
His eyes stared out at those who passed him by,
With hounds chasing fleeing victims in the sand
Men were shown being dragged, beaten, and flogged,
Then driven to the mines of the underworld
The slaves were forced to work in the dark,
Toil all day, until they collapsed, all worn-out
Some of the mine shafts were so narrow,
They could only be dug downward using hands

Deformed forms moved among the lavish riches:
Hideous monsters, lurching around with greedy eyes
At the sound they made, the legionaries drew swords
Leaving their torches beside the tunnel’s mouth
They crept along the passageway with fear in their hearts
As the daemons slowly turned to face the intruders,
Those monstrosities looked like nothing seen:
They had huge heads, large gaping eye sockets,
Their skin was covered with scales of bright red,
A black cocoon of tentacles hung down to their waists,
They had three long arms and four legs ending in claws

They were hideous creatures that walked upright
Like apes or monkeys, but they were not human,
These monsters didn’t speak, but shrieked and howled
They also emitted foul odors, their breath reeking
They wore ancient armor, and carried enormous spears
Although no one knew where they came from, nor why
There was not much discussion about what to do next

The legionaries had never been so frightened,
But they stood side by side in phalanx formation
The creatures ran at them, grunting and growling
The Romans felt the earth shake as their enemy came,
And they raised up their shields to stop the charge

The soldiers hacked and stabbed with their short blades
Thrusting them into the flesh of these monsters,
While the horrible beasts attacked the Romans
Throwing spears over the heads of their comrades
To impale or cut down the brave men of the legion

The daemons had no thought but to kill and destroy
Our men rushed forward to engage the monsters,
Wielding their swords and stabbing them in the head
Two of the legionaries were pierced and wounded,
But there was a great roar of fury as the beasts fell
The legionaries gritted their teeth in pain and suffering,
For the battle took its toll on them

A pale green glow illuminated one of the caves:
A skeletal humanoid hovered in the center,
Its fleshless body floating just above a glowing orb
It turned to look at the men and hissed out loud
As the ghastly apparition was approaching slowly,
The daemon dropped to the floor, landing close,
Then transformed from a hovering dead man
Into a hideous insectoid monster with three eyes

As it crawled forward, its hairy, elongated legs
Reached towards the legionaries’ faces,
Who were now backed against a wall
The sulfuric stench of the creature’s breath
Scorched the noses of the terrified soldiers,
Their eyes watering and blinded by the fumes

They struggled to respond, their minds addled
One of the legionaries slashed the behemoth
The blade bit into its flesh, but did little damage
As the nightmare drew close, it opened wide
Revealing rows upon rows of razor-sharp teeth
They sliced through the legionary’s arm and leg,
And then the horrifying beast began feasting,
Gulping down the blood, slurping the marrow
The soldier was pinned to the wall by the huge jaws,
His hand grabbed and ripped away by the carnivore
The other legionaries were fighting back,
But the creature had an enormous strength

The insectoid’s jaws snapped shut around the man,
Smashing his armor and torso to pieces,
Then it lifted the dripping remains from the floor
As it held them aloft in front of the crowd,
The daemon fixed its gaze on another soldier,
Who brandished his sword in defense
He could do nothing as the monster gobbled him up,
His body disappeared within those hungry maws

The decanus Septimius Drusus struck the beast in the back
The weapon found a weak spot and gouged the monster
A hot gush of blood spilled forth, to land
Upon the heads of the terrified, weary men
They looked up and saw the hideous bug squirming
When its monstrous form was thrown to the ground,
Another legionary swung his sword again,
Striking the beast hard, slicing off a leg
The hideous mutant screeched in agony, then jumped
And scurried away, leaving a trail of gore behind
The traumatized legionaries had had enough for the day
They retreated to the surface, where daylight reigned

Successive expeditions pressed on for weeks on end
A divided centuria kept fighting under Herculaneum
The men were tired, filthy, hungry, and thirsty
Hordes of monsters fell prey to the legions’ weapons
Many legionaries were maimed and scarred,
More died before they could flee those hellish mazes
A few brought home riches beyond their wildest dreams
The survivors stumbled out of the tunnels ashen faced,
But victorious over all else

Of one contubernium, only one survivor emerged
He staggered out of the ancient tunnel and saw light,
The sun was shining, a beautiful blue sky overhead
The man was an orphan, barely twenty years old
His eyes were dull, and distant, like he wasn’t there
He was covered in blood, his hand clutched a ring:
A silver band adorned with gems caught the light
The gold inside gleamed brightly, warm, alive
With a final gasp, he collapsed onto the paved road

Many years passed, many legionaries were slain
As they pushed deeper into the unending darkness,
So they could one day certify that no enemy remained
In those ancient halls of death and destruction
Some men carved words in the stone, to warn others:
“Do not enter here! Beware the nereids of the deep!”

The philosophers of the time were beset by nightmares
Of unceasing hordes of otherworldly monsters
Clambering into the Roman towns from the tunnels below,
Determined to overrun every settlement they saw
To devour men and women or just make slaves
The scholars tried to solve the riddle of these creatures:
Where did they come from? Why are they attacking us?
How can we fight them, and survive to tell the tale?

The philosopher Pliny the Elder wrote in his treatise
‘The Denizens Of The Deep Underground Tunnels Are Real’,
“These strange subterranean creatures are indeed real
They’re not myths or legends, but living beings
That inhabit some of the deepest caves in the world
The legions march into the dark labyrinths,
Screaming their battle cry, ‘Forward, forward,
We’ll find the secrets of the underworld!’
It is the duty of the army to exterminate them
If we fail, then we’ll be forced to live in terror!”

Pliny’s words didn’t help the citizens of the empire
Who were plagued by dreadful nightmares and visions,
Worried about being attacked by subterranean horrors
Some people locked themselves in their homes at night,
Trying to sleep with the lights burning bright,
While others slept with a dagger nearby,
And they whispered stories of terrible encounters
Where darkness swallowed men whole, who dared venture
Into these ancient catacombs were daemons reigned

The Senate debated, but those men could offer little help
One senator suggested the beasts came out of the earth
Like maggots, and rose up to feed on human flesh
Other senators disagreed, saying the monsters
Were simply victims of ancient cataclysmic disaster,
From aeons past when thick ice sheets covered the world
Some argued that the catacombs were the perfect refuge,
And would provide them with protection in times of war
The Romans debate, and have no idea what to do
As they stare at the wondrous maps of the underworld,
Which show the location of passages and chambers
That connect directly to the surface above,
As well as the locations of statues and paintings,
Many of them depicting scenes of gods and goddesses
That none of the men present could begin to name

One of the senators stood up, and offered his thoughts:
“If I may be so bold as to speak my mind,
I believe the emperor is making a terrible mistake
My colleagues don’t seem to agree,
And call me paranoid and insane
When I say the monsters are hiding in our midst
They might not look it, but they’re more than animals
These creatures are superior beings who were once men
They have learned to disguise themselves,
They lure unsuspecting men, women and children,
And then they strike, with a swiftness that cannot fail
These daemons leave a trail of corpses in their wake
They killed hundreds, left even more maimed and broken
A few brave survivors escaped into the daylight,
Others were trapped inside the tunnels, unable to climb
Vast numbers of the enemy slain, yet still we fall
They made a mockery of our immortal legions,
And now the monsters feast upon our brave men”

The senate was stunned by this speech
Some of the men whispered among themselves
They asked the speaker if he had any proof,
Or just repeated wild stories from the streets
The man raised his voice, and told the senators
What they already knew in their cowardly hearts:
“We’ve lost the legions, and the empire is doomed!”

They feared that the old gods, who had ruled before,
Would rise up and destroy the eternal empire
They imagined scores of monsters and daemons
Reaching Rome itself and burning it to the ground
We keep praying to our own gods, to save civilization
From the barbarous horrors of our underworld

While the emperor pondered what to do next,
His generals advised him against further exploration
Rome faced many enemies, including those inside
No amount of manpower would clear those halls
The Senate agreed, and the entire operation ceased
The ancient tunnels were sealed, the entrances blocked,
And the scarred legionaries returned home to rest,
Their work done for the year, but they couldn’t forget
About the terrible creatures in the dark below

There is a secret, hidden history to be found,
In an age when the world yielded to the dawn:
The dark tunnels remain, hidden underground
Daemons lurk in the death-filled labyrinths,
Prisoners of a past age, trapped for aeons,
Waiting to find their way out again

We built walls to defend against outside threats,
And now the walls keep our monsters penned within

‘The Menace From Our Underworld’ by Jon Ureña

Happiness Is a Warm Cat Girl (Poetry)

How would I tolerate these infernal workdays,
Having to walk back home when the moon is out,
If my precious housewife wasn’t here to welcome me?
I would get drunk on sake by my old lonesome,
But now I drink at home just for fun, with Manami,
The one person who knows how to make it right:
My cat girl, whom I love more than anything else.

As I hold the keys, Manami opens my apartment’s door
And looks at me while her tail sticks straight up.
Her face is so cute, with blue eyes that look like saucers,
And a nose that seems to be made of porcelain.
She smells so nice, like flowers and fresh rainwater.

Manami beams. “Welcome home, master!”
She leaps into my arms and hugs me tight.
I stroke her silky coat and caress her head,
While she rubs her soft face on mine and purrs.
“You’re such an adorable creature,” I say to her.
Manami loves me endlessly, like any good girl should.

She leads me by the hand into my tiny living room.
Her tail swishes side to side, wagging happily as we go.
I lie down on the sofa and put my head on her lap.
Manami pets my hair as I stare at the ceiling lights.

“Did you have a good day at work?” she asks gently.
Without Manami, I’d only have complaints,
But now I know what real happiness feels like.
My cat girl is my darling companion,
She comforts me from loneliness and pain.
Nothing remains of that tiresome world
Except this cramped place where we live together.

“It was exhausting as usual, and also boring.
Whatever wasn’t boring made me want to die.
But none of that matters now that I can rest
By feeling my precious girl’s fingers in my scalp.”

We talk softly like lovers do, our heads close,
Friends who can share their deepest secrets.
Our conversation is never boring or stale.
Manami helps me cope with everyday stress.
A ray of hope makes everything seem less bleak.
With my cat girl, life isn’t a chore anymore.

What better way to spend every night
Than cuddling with my beloved Manami
In bed, under warm blankets,
With no other sounds but ours?

When I wake up late at night to pee,
I see my favorite feline sleeping next to me,
Those big, beautiful eyes closed shut.
Her breath smells like warm milk.

Manami’s peaceful expression makes me smile.
No matter if she sleeps soundly or snores loudly,
Or whether she drools or pukes,
Still I keep holding her warm body against me.

There are more than enough reasons
Why I should love this beautiful creature.
When I pet Manami, I feel a little thrill
That makes me want to take care of her.
She purrs, licks my face, serves as a pillow,
Is warm and soothing and always there,
And whenever I remember her smiling face,
All I can think of is how much I adore her.

Sometimes she sings songs to help me relax,
Or she tells silly jokes to cheer me up.
Even though I’ve told her many things before,
She always listens attentively and nods her head.

“Master,” she says, “I want to go to the park.”
“I’ll take you there. We can play ball games,
Or chase each other around,
Or we can just sit together on a bench
And watch the world pass us by.”
“That sounds wonderful, master! Thank you!”

Our country’s brutal office culture
Has led to many public suicides,
But the economy needed to keep going,
And I couldn’t afford to take a pay cut.

For two decades, I had gone to work
And returned home too tired to live.
I hadn’t dated anyone since high school.
I still dreamed of those girls, who were so cool.
I missed singing at the karaoke, going out for drinks.
I had forgotten how being young used to feel.

One day, I decided to try online dating.
I only received messages that said stuff like,
“Your profile has been flagged as spam,
Please remove it immediately.”

Japan solved our troubles through technology.
Some genius managed to mix human and cat DNA.
It was a matter of breeding loving, loyal hybrids
Who would support the tired mass of workers.
They became a wild hit with both sexes,
And the government made it legal to marry them.

One thing I had never experienced before
Was having someone who really cared about me.
I am a withdrawn man, and I had lived alone
Since graduating college twenty years ago.
Nothing made any sense, my life felt meaningless,
But with my cat girl, I finally found real love.

In Manami’s presence, I can forget my woes;
I feel like my heart is wrapped in cotton wool.
She gives me hope when I’m down on my knees,
She comforts and supports me during bad times.
Dating humans is too hard, women too demanding;
I don’t want anybody but my cat girl housewife.

She never complains about our daily chores
(She does them eagerly, even cleans the dishes).
She cooks delicious meals (she loves canned tuna).
She’s very knowledgeable about manga and anime.
She knows all the best places to eat sushi.

She can predict the weather and earthquakes,
And tell me if the stock market will go up,
Or whether to bet on baseball, football, or sumo.
She also predicts the outcome of elections.

Every night we cuddle under the sheets.
Her purr vibrates throughout my body
As she rubs my back and shoulders gently.
She bites my neck, making me moan.
Sensing I’m excited, she licks me like mad,
And her barbed tongue prickles my skin.
My cat girl trembles as I fondle her ass
While her fluffy tail twitches in delight.

Manami runs her soft fur across my chest
As she kisses my torso on her way down.
My penis is standing straight up,
Aching for her mouth to wrap around it.
I’m not sure how to describe the feeling
Of my cat girl licking my dick.

As we embrace, our tongues dance intertwined.
Manami tastes like fish, and that’s okay.
She moans and writhes while I rub her pointy ears,
She’s wet and eager as I plunge into her hole.

Her vagina grips me tightly, sucks on it like a straw.
My balls churn with sperm, preparing to shoot.
With our bodies pressed close we reach an orgasm.
We shudder, groan, pant, twitch, shake, spasm.

“Oh, master! I can’t believe how hard I came!”
We lie exhausted, enjoying each other’s warmth,
Until Manami stretches and yawns gently.
“I am sleepy, master. Let us sleep now?”

I shake myself awake from a vivid dream
About being fucked by the president,
But Manami’s fur is tickling my belly button.
I stroke her head, caress her silky back.
When I roll over, she climbs onto my chest
To pull my earlobe between her teeth.

I pet my cat girl as she masturbates.
The sight of Manami fingering herself
Puts me in the mood to do it myself too.
My dick is rock hard and my cat girl is wet.

As I eat breakfast, she prepares me a bento box
So I will remember my beloved during my break.
I smile and say, “Thank you” to my beautiful girl.
She watches me bring the chopsticks to my mouth
While she strokes my hair with her warm paws.
Sometimes as I chew, she nibbles my earlobe.

She leaves me love notes in my bento box:
“Meow, meow – I love you!”
“I’m so glad you’re my owner!”
“I hope you miss me and buy me lots of treats!”
“Your eyes looked so sad yesterday,
I will give you some comforting petting tonight.”
“To my beloved who shares all his dreams with me.”

She’s my precious girl, the only one I want.
I waste so much time away from her.
I can barely wait to leave this rotten office
And return home to cuddle up with Manami.

As I eat the lunch she prepared lovingly,
I smile and send her messages with my phone.
“I’ll be back soon, my darling.”
“Thank you for making me happy.”
“My cat girl is the most wonderful creature.”
“I love you more than I could have imagined.”
“I’ll be thinking of you while I work today.”
“I wish you’d come to my office.”
“You could work here if you wanted.”
My cat girl has always been smarter than me.
She’s a talented programmer and researcher,
And I can’t even do basic math correctly.

Manami is my partner in crime, my sidekick.
On my days off, we play video games,
We watch the hottest anime of the season,
She scratches the walls of my apartment,
She listens to me cry,
We wrestle naked (she gets rough
And bites me, and I bite her back),
Sometimes she gets overstimulated
And runs around for no reason,
We take baths together,
We have the most loving sex.
I feel like I’m living a dream.

Manami is the only person in my world
Who doesn’t treat me like a nuisance.
I can’t imagine my life without my cat girl.
She’s the greatest joy in this lonely road.
If it wasn’t for her, I’d die in a ditch.
I would kill the entire human race.

“Manami,” I say, “we’re going drinking tonight!”
She’s thrilled. Her saucer eyes light up like UFOs.
We visit a bar somewhere in Roppongi.
Manami looks gorgeous, wearing a mini skirt
And a blouse that shows off her cleavage.
Her high heels are a real turn-on.
I can’t wait to check out her panties.

Once we’ve gotten tipsy enough,
I offer her to go to an all-you-can-eat buffet.
The sushi is good and the sashimi is great.
I point at the delicious fried shrimp,
But Manami has her mind on other things.
“Meow, meow – I want those chicken wings!”

Getting drunk on sake always arouses her.
My cat girl’s eyes get wide and glassy like a cat’s
As she loses control of her motor skills.
She scratches me with her claws until I bleed.

Cat girls are immortal; she will outlive me.
It saddens me to think that I’ll leave this world
To go somewhere far away from my beloved.
When I am gone, Manami will have no one,
And she’ll cry all night long in my absence.
I just hope she’ll find someone else to love.

One of these days, those scientists will discover
How we can finally make our cat girls pregnant,
And we will bring forth the most beautiful world,
One filled with a myriad of our furry kids.

A Chaperone for Hybrids (Poetry)

They first abducted me in the woods,
Where I went to play the guitar in peace.
I suddenly felt something strange,
An electric shock that ran down my spine.
My heart was beating fast, my body trembled.
The sky sounded like a machine was drilling,
And lights flashed above me like lightning.

A shadow fell over me, making me freeze.
It was projected by an enormous black ship.
Then, a strange voice spoke from far away,
“You are going to help us with our research.”
I tried to run but it felt like a force field
Took hold of me and dragged me up.

When I woke up in their ship,
I first noticed the aliens’ eyes:
Large, oval, and protruding,
Bright blue with an intensity
Like no other color I had seen.
Their pupils are small black dots
That stared at me unblinkingly
With a dreadful curiosity.

Their skin is a pale greenish-blue
That remind me of the ocean.
They smell nice, fresh and clean,
Very different from my own scent,
But these freaks are hairless
Except for their eyebrows,
And wisps of white around their ears
Which resemble antennae.

They communicate through telepathy,
As I had already expected.
Their voices sound in my head
Like thunder or rolling waves.

They probably think we are primitive
Merely because we vocalize to speak.
This is only partially correct,
Because we also use body language
To express our thoughts and feelings.

The aliens are as stoic as they come:
They never smile nor frown,
Nor use their hands to gesture.
I doubt they feel joy or anger,
Or possibly even sadness.
It would explain why they didn’t have a clue
About why humankind came to be so fucked,
And it meant that we wouldn’t get along;
Most of our behaviors don’t make sense
Unless you think in terms of fun,
Or the primitive joy of destruction,
Or wanting to cum.

Due to the aliens’ telepathic nature,
They can share knowledge instantly,
Maybe while still maintaining privacy.
It took them long to figure out
That we can’t transmit our thoughts.
It might be hard to understand
How a complex society would succeed
When you can’t hear others in your mind.

As I lay down on an operating table,
They checked my vitals and drew my blood.
My heart rate increased,
My brain was buzzing like mad.
I started to sweat in the cool room.
The aliens explained that they would take
Some of my cells and analyze them
To find the DNA and check for mutations.

I had already read about abductions,
And I had wondered how I would react.
I wanted these far more intelligent beings
To consider me a fellow sentient creature,
If only to disuade them from butchering me,
So I didn’t curse, yell, cry, nor plead;
I just remained calm, polite and quiet.
They’d return me when they were done,
Or else they’d dissect me and put me in a jar.
In either case, I wouldn’t be able to do shit.

I hoped that they wouldn’t smell my fear.
I felt like they could take any part of me,
From my toes to my dick.
I feared that they might cut off my balls
For the sake of science.

I tried to get friendly with their leader,
Or at least the one who called the shots.
He answered me in perfect English
(But I only heard his voice in my head).
He said that he was a doctor
Who specialized in genetics and biology.
I asked him where they were from.

“We’re from the planet VX-742.”
“Well, that doesn’t mean much to me,
But nice to meet you, fellow people,
Because I hope you keep in mind
That I’m a person who would suffer pain,
Potentially harrowing amounts of it,
If you were to shove those sharp tools
Into any part of this fragile body.”
“Don’t be afraid. We won’t hurt you.”
I wiped the sweat off my forehead.
“Yes, you always say that kind of shit.
Are you guys going to kill me?”
“No, we just want to study you.”

I thought about cattle mutilations,
And the Guarapiranga Reservoir
(That man whose eyes, ears, tongue
And genitalia had been removed,
As well as the digestive organs,
With no signs of decomposition).
I wanted to bring up my abduction,
But I could tell that they wouldn’t care
(Or even worse, they wouldn’t understand).

“So, do you guys have FTL drives?”
I asked the aliens, with a smile.
They seemed surprised by my question,
They didn’t understand what it meant.
“I wanted to know about how fast
This cool spaceship of yours goes,” I said.
“You don’t have to worry about the speed,
Because we can go anywhere in space.”
I was excited about their discovery,
If only because humans might partake
(If we pass through the Great Filter).
They were confused by my agitation,
But they were kind enough to clarify.
“We don’t need to use fuel, our energy is infinite,
And we can just stop at the nearest star.”
“What? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!”

I thought about all the work it took
To build something complex like a car,
Or a computer chip or an iPhone.
Hell, I wouldn’t know how to create a chair.
These people had become their own gods.

I felt so insignificant in front of them,
But the aliens remained calm as I asked,
“Alright, so do you have music, or books?”
“Music and reading are primitive things
Which we don’t use anymore,
We have more advanced technologies,
But we are in the process of cataloguing
All the artistic production of your race.”

As a guitar player, that hurt,
But if I told them to fuck off,
They would dissect me like a frog.
“Do you know any good musicians,
Or writers who are doing great stuff?”
“We know many artists, but we haven’t
Discovered anyone worth mentioning yet.”

I couldn’t think of anything else to ask,
And I suddenly wanted to remain silent,
So I lay back and let them examine me.
One of the aliens used a weird device
To scan my brain and nervous system.
A few of the aliens touched my skin:
They seemed to be studying the texture.

Another alien pulled out a scalpel,
And I knew for sure I was about to die,
But he cut open my shirt to see my chest.
He could just have asked me to unbutton it.
I wondered if they would reimburse the damage.

I had a feeling they were checking out my ass.
I hoped they wouldn’t discover my prostate.
They took pictures of every inch of me
With a floating eyeball that seemed sentient.

I could hear the aliens talking inside my head
(It sounded like a crowd of drunken fans).
“I’d say he is a healthy specimen,
Although his heart rate seems too high.
The muscles in his legs and arms look strong.
His nipples are erect; he’s aroused.
He has very large testicles,
And his penis is well-developed.”
(But I might have imagined this part.)

Another alien went inside my mouth
With a long probe that made me squirm.
They removed some tissue from my throat.
They also took samples of my hair.
I was getting sick and nauseous from seeing
Their bizarre alien faces so close to mine.

The aliens took samples of semen
Despite my shrivelled balls
(I was cold, and containing my fear).
They had conjured a fancy hallucination:
As I lay on a paradisiac beach in the sunset,
I was approached by a Hollywood actress,
Who intended to seduce me of all people.
She wore a red dress with short sleeves,
And her breasts looked so big and soft.
As she kissed me, her nipples were erect.
(I could tell that this wasn’t real,
But I wanted to believe in that world.)

After the mirage fondled me for a while,
I came into an artificial vagina
That a dispassionate alien was holding,
As if I were your average bull stud.

“You’re fertile, you have excellent sperm,”
An alien said, but I felt violated.
That alien added unnecessary info:
“Your ejaculate contains a lot of fructose,
Which makes it ideal for our hybridization.”

I likely became the proud father
Of a whole series of hybrid children
That hopefully won’t require child support.

One of the humans they had abducted,
An old, frail lady who would have fainted
Merely by checking out her face in the mirror,
As soon as she regained consciousness
She suffered a heart attack and died.

The aliens didn’t react with emotion;
It’s almost as if they don’t feel pain,
So they can barely understand it.
They must be inhuman beings
Besides being technically aliens.

I thought of all the humans I’ve known,
From the homeless to the billionaires;
All the politicians, journalists,
And even my teachers at school.
They are all people, not a bunch
Of soulless machines.

The aliens cut that old woman open calmly,
And took out what they thought was necessary.
They removed her skin with a laser cutter
Without mercy for her old flesh and bone.

I told them this abducting business is wrong,
That they shouldn’t be experimenting on us,
But they said they would do so anyway
Because there was too much data available
From our brains, and from our DNA,
To learn more about human biology,
And they wanted to study our race
So they could better understand how
Humans think, feel, and make decisions.

They seemed to have a lot of respect
For humankind, despite their crimes
(Both the aliens’ and ours, I guess).
I wondered if they would use this info
To decide whether or not to destroy us,
And I wasn’t too confident in the odds
(I would probably destroy us if I could).

Because I didn’t freak out like the others
(A woman in her thirties had peed herself,
And was hugging her knees while sobbing),
I felt a sense of camaraderie with the aliens.
“I hope you guys don’t get caught and killed
By some human group trying to capture you.”
“Don’t worry. We’re protected by a force field
That prevents us from being seen.”

I asked them about the Great Filter.
They had passed it many millennia ago.
“We exist in a universe where we could live forever,
And we are free to create whatever lifeforms
We want without worrying about extinction.”
“What? You mean you created other species?”
“Yes, we have gone through millions of forms
In order to find ones that were suitable.”
“You guys didn’t create human beings, right?”
“We wouldn’t create a primitive species.”

The aliens said I had the potential
To become one of their most trusted allies,
But only after undergoing training.
They needed my help to reach more humans,
So they offered me to work for them.

I asked how I would get paid,
But it seemed that money was a concept
That the aliens couldn’t understand
(Or they pretended they didn’t).
They said my payment would come in time,
When I helped them achieve their goals.

“What are your goals, exactly?” I asked.
They told me that humanity had been stagnant
For too long, we were like a shipwreck.
We had to move forward or else die.

As I pondered their ominous words,
The aliens enticed me with benefits:
They would provide food, water, shelter,
A place to sleep at night, and sex.
They insisted about the available sex.
If I wanted sex, I just had to say, “Please.”
I wouldn’t need to worry about loneliness.

Intrigued, I inquired about their whores,
Or alien prostitutes, the preferred term.
The poor girls were artificial hybrids
Made from human and some aliens’ DNA
(They clarified that it came from different aliens,
Another species they experimented on).
My abductors said that I wouldn’t need to pay,
They wouldn’t even ask for my ID.

I took one look at those hybrid prostitutes,
Who looked like beautiful human women
Except with bulging, compound insectoid eyes.
They were clever enough to know all the moves.
I felt sorry about their lot in life,
But their mouths and pussies did wonders.

After one of those sexual encounters ended
And I lay on an alien mattress with the hybrid,
I caressed her naked back and kissed her neck.
Her bulging eyes were freaky, but whatever;
I hated plenty of stuff about my own body.

“Are you happy being an alien prostitute?”
I wished to know, although I feared the answer.
“Yes. I’m always happy no matter what.”
I realized that she wasn’t exaggerating;
I couldn’t sense any apprehension towards me,
Nor about her life as a likely sexual slave.
She was proud of being the property
Of these aliens, and even stated so.
“They’re kind, they give us everything we want.”

It was easy to give someone what they wanted,
If they could only want what you wanted,
And if they didn’t care about anything
But getting laid, then everyone’s a winner.

“Are you able to experience any discomfort
Like anxiety, sadness, depression, or other ills
With which us humans constantly struggle?”
I asked, but I didn’t want to hear the answer.
“No, we don’t feel pain nor suffering.
We are forever young, we will never decay,
And if something damages us,
Our bodies can be repaired easily.
Besides, we’re too busy having sex
With as many people as we can find.”

I couldn’t decide if I should pity this hybrid;
My life was dependent on lessening pain.
But her body was warm and her skin soft.
I would leave those dilemmas for academics.

Despite the aliens’ generous offer,
I refused to live in their ship.
I am a human, goddamn it,
And these fuckers kidnapped me.
I had to witness how they experimented
On the other hapless people,
Around ten of them in the same room.
The aliens didn’t give a shit
If the humans cried in terror,
So I would stay here, in this world of mine
That contains mostly things I don’t like.

The aliens didn’t seem to understand
Why I was so reluctant to stay;
They thought I would be grateful
That they would have taken me away
From the horrors of human society,
But I told them I wasn’t a sadist,
And I didn’t want to see humans suffer.
The aliens’ expressions remained vacant.

After they returned me back home,
I was happy that they hadn’t murdered me,
So I casually welcomed meeting them again.
They promised that they would come back,
Because a chill human could help their goals
(They didn’t put it in those words).

Although I wanted to tell the whole world
About my disconcerting experience,
I would be another babbling loon
For the majority of this fucked up species.

I had been abducted with other folks,
But I never expected to come across
One of such sufferers in civilian clothes,
Until I talked with a friend of mine,
A dopehead who couldn’t find a job.
Although she had also been abducted,
She believed it had been a hallucination.

“Yeah man, I was totally wasted
When I saw a UFO land.
It was so bizarre and cool.
They had these big fucking eyes,
All bright blue and shit,
And I felt like I was flying!”

She didn’t believe me
Even when I showed her the scars
From the alien surgical tools,
So there was no point in telling others.

As they days passed, I grew jumpy;
I had nightmares about being abducted,
And I had developed something like PTSD.
These fucking aliens were fiends.
Kidnapping people is a violent act,
No matter how cool they acted about it.
They must have been malicious by default,
Or at the very least chaotic neutral.

They cared for us like we care for bears,
In the sense that we study them,
In some cases share cool moments
(Like enticing them with food to wave,
While recording it for YouTube),
A few freaks try to fuck them,
But otherwise we stay away,
Because bears can get homicidal
Against nearby human beings
Who were merely standing around
(Either because they feared for the cubs,
Or just because bears are angry maniacs).

But I did empathize with the wariness
That the aliens displayed about us:
I would have chosen to be a giraffe
Instead.

I suspected that these aliens had abducted
Many people from different countries
For their scientific research,
And had kept many of them
As pets, or as slaves of any kind.

The aliens weren’t forthcoming
About the truth of these matters,
But whenever I was abducted again,
I asked the aliens to take care of them,
Of the other abducted people I mean,
So they wouldn’t die of hunger or thirst,
And to contact me if they needed help
(The alien fuckers, I mean),
As apparently I worked for them.

They have abducted me many times
Since that night they offered me sex.
They introduced me to hybrid people
Who look like beautiful humans,
Both men and women, some children,
But they had no clue how to behave
In what we consider a civilized society,
Because they grew up in alien ships
Or wherever the fuck they hide them.

Some of the hybrids are hot women,
Which makes this whole thing creepy,
Or I guess that’s what I should say
(Hard to know if the aliens were going
For a science project or a fetish).

Anyway, my job is to hang out
With these hybrid freaks
As their professional guide,
And teach them how to fit in
So they can infiltrate human society.
I’ve become an expert on the subject;
I’m a walking encyclopedia
On the matter of passing for normal.

Every day I woke up at dawn
To meet with a group of hybrids
That the aliens had beamed down.
I strolled with them around town,
And sometimes outside in nature.
I took them to stores, libraries,
Banks, schools, parks, hospitals,
As I tried to explain to them
The ins and outs of human culture.

I taught them how to buy groceries
Whether with cash or a credit card,
How to use the ATM machines,
How to socialize with humans,
How to dress and act in public
To avoid arousing suspicion,
How to go shopping for clothes,
How to read the menu in a restaurant,
What it means when someone asks,
“Do you want fries with your burger?”
(I’m not sure they understand
The concept of ‘fries’, but whatever),
How to make an appointment
At the doctor or dentist,
When and how to read a map,
What places they could go to
Without getting mugged,
How to drive cars and ride buses,
How to register to vote,
How to apply for a loan,
How to pay their taxes,
How to handle firearms,
Which women are the hottest,
How to deal with police officers
To avoid getting arrested
Or shot in the face,
Which groups of people to avoid,
And a myriad of other basic stuff.

They were growing
Into handsome people.
I would have been proud
If I wasn’t so creeped out.

I had been feeling guilty for a while
Because this was an attempt at infiltration,
Probably with some nefarious purpose,
And I was a traitor to humanity
Who gave up our race for some hybrid pussy.
I was just trying to save these experiments
From themselves and from the aliens.

Because the hybrids hadn’t been raised here,
They may never be able to survive on Earth.
I mean, you couldn’t teach those feral children
After they learned about manners from wolves.
I feared what would happen to these freaks
If the aliens considered their batch a failure.

I was trying to befriend some of the hybrids,
Treat them like regular folks instead of spies.
One hybrid was a cute brunette girl, twenty or so.
I think she’s from Spain, at least some of her DNA.

“What name did the aliens give you?” I asked.
She had trouble understanding the question.
“Human beings refer to each other by names,”
I clarified, “so what’s your name?”
The girl shrugged. “I don’t have one of those.”
“Why not? How would I refer to you in particular?”
“We don’t need identifiers. We’re all the same species.”

I stared at her for a moment and then asked,
“Are your alien overlords space communists?
You people aren’t a hive mind, you have to speak
Using that beautiful hybrid mouth of yours.”
The hybrids just laughed, although I was serious;
Space communism is a perilous matter.
Still, I was surprised that they had felt such joy.
I guess that the aliens left that human part in.

“We can speak through our mouths,”
Said one of the hybrid men, who looks Swedish,
“But also through telepathy, like our leaders.
We keep transmitting brain waves to each other.”
I tried to stay friendly to this bunch of weirdoes.
“I suppose that if I had to choose my fate,
I’d rather be a telepathic slave than a dumb animal.”

I didn’t know how to treat these hybrids.
They didn’t seem like bad guys,
But I can’t stand communists,
So I wanted to avoid getting beguiled by them
And particularly developing crushes on some,
No matter how cute or brunette they were.

“You have to choose a name for yourself,”
I said to the dangerously hot hybrid from Spain.
She thought for a while and then answered,
“My name is Liesl, like in ‘The Sound of Music’.”
I had no clue what she was talking about.

“Liesl, individuality is the greatest thing,
It differentiates us from other creatures,
So when you die, hopefully never,
People will be able to say, ‘that was Liesl,
And not just another nameless, hybrid freak’.
You have to resist your alien overlords.”
As she smiled at me, I felt a tingle in my balls.
I wish the two of us had been alone.

Liesl was so clueless and innocent, and hot,
That I couldn’t help but be attracted to her.
Her eyes are blue, her lips full and red
As if painted on a canvas of soft pink.
They are the most sensual lips.
Most nights, when I close my eyes,
I still see them in my mind.

The way she held herself, the way she moved,
Her voice, and especially the smell of her hair,
All made her seem like an angel, or a goddess.
Her hips swayed seductively as she walked.
I found myself staring at the nape of her neck
And also down at her fine ass.
I kept daydreaming about how it would feel
To kiss Liesl’s soft lips, and hold her in bed.

She was curious about everything,
She was always eager to listen to me.
I wished to teach her all about
The beauty of life, and the value of love.

I taught her how to play the guitar.
We practiced together some of my songs
As she sang along to the lyrics.
She had a natural talent for music.
Our voices harmonized perfectly
Although we were from different worlds,
Although our species didn’t match.
I could tell that she was a kindred soul
Who understood what I was trying to say.

I was a man in his twenties, damn it,
Who was abducted by aliens
Like a couple dozen times,
Who gave him a stable job
For the sole purpose of teaching these hybrids
How to pass for regular human beings,
And I wanted to see them succeed
If only because I was the one teaching them,
But I didn’t want Earth to end up conquered
By communists of any origin,
And the more I thought about my circumstances,
The more I believed that they must be commies,
Because they did this whole thing forcefully,
And they were mainly paying me in whores.

A few months later, the aliens informed me
That I was to enroll in college with some hybrids.
I thought they were high on their formaldehyde;
The college wouldn’t accept a high school dropout.
But turns out that the dean was a hybrid
From a successful previous generation,
And it wasn’t any effort to forge my documents.
That was a huge lesson that made me paranoid;
I started wondering which big shots were hybrids.
The government and the media were suspect.

I was living on campus, in a dormitory.
Liesl was attending classes too.
I tried to take all of her courses,
And I met her every morning at breakfast
In the dining hall, then again at lunch.
I figured it was time, as a fellow student,
To finally get entangled to my beloved hybrid.

I had a hard time focusing on studying,
Because the aliens didn’t need to sleep:
I always had to wake up at dawn,
Although they abducted me some nights.

I intended for Liesl and I to become a couple.
I would teach her all about making out,
As well as the most loving sex acts
(Part of my job as their chaperone),
But some other guy asked her out first.

He played basketball for the local team,
And was here on a sports scholarship.
I had never experienced such jealousy.
That bastard only wanted to fuck Liesl.
She didn’t know what she was getting into,
So I had to warn her to avoid men like him.

When I told her that she couldn’t go on dates
With random guys, she looked at me confused.
“I am supposed to learn about human society,
And I should prepare myself for matrimony.”
I gasped, then grasped her innocent hands.
“Liesl, you don’t even have a name,
You stole one from some old movie.
You are supposed to be handled with care
By someone who knows you are a freak,
Not an animal, not a normal person,
Just a beautiful, strange creature
That the aliens created for fun and profit.”

My heart was pounding, but I stopped talking.
I was afraid that Liesl would leave me.
I couldn’t bear to see her hurt or scared,
And she needed somebody to protect her.

She was shocked that I cared so much.
I was the first person she ever met
Who understood her needs,
And who was also friends with her pals.
She said, “I’m sorry, Mr. Gulliver,
But our leaders insisted that we mingled
With the locals who weren’t abducted.”

“Liesl, my last name isn’t Gulliver,
But I guess you may invent me one,
Because you are so cute and brunette.
Anyway, I swear I will teach you love,
As well as how to fuck like an animal,
And one day we’ll have a weird spawn
With possibly corrupted DNA.”

I tried to kiss Liesl, but she backed away.
I felt so dirty. I couldn’t resist my urges.
I was ashamed of my weakness and lust.
“Mr. Gulliver, we can’t do this,”
She whispered as if it were a secret.

I held her hand although mine trembled.
I could barely look into her doe eyes.
“You are too innocent for this world!
You don’t understand how humans are.
If you open yourself up to these beasts,
They will destroy your pure heart.
Haven’t I handled you with care?”

“You have, and I’m grateful to you,
But nothing can interfere with the plan.
My high IQ, along with intensive studying
And the careful guidance that you imparted,
Will allow me to become a journalist,
A scholar, a researcher, or a politician.
Some of us will become presidents.”

My heart dropped by the way she spoke.
I wanted to teach her everything good,
But it was a waste of fucking time:
Although her eyes were full of innocence,
Her mind was filled with alien thoughts.

I felt like I had been stabbed in the chest.
Why couldn’t I have a normal college love?
I wanted to be a good father to Liesl’s kids.
I would have done my duty to pass humanity
To my half-hybrid, half-human offspring.
I didn’t know if I was ready for that life,
But I knew that I would never betray her.

I never even met my hybrid children
That the aliens created from my stolen sperm.
I would have accepted my little freaks
Even if they turned out to have horse faces.

“I fell in love with you, Liesl,” I confessed,
“Are you able to understand what that is?”
Liesl looked down, and then she said,
“I don’t really get it, but I am happy
That you came to feel that way for me.”

I wanted to take her into my arms,
But I knew that I wouldn’t be allowed.
“You are always happy, Liesl,” I said bitterly,
“Those aliens designed you that way.
I still haven’t decided whether to pity you
Or envy you for being so clueless, or fear you,
Or rejoice for the future of my broken species.”

Liesl smiled, then she hugged me tightly.
“We are the same, Mr. Gulliver.
We carry the instructions of our ancient race.”
I cried into her hybrid neck.
“You have no clue what you’re talking about,
And my last name isn’t Gulliver.”

Liesl dated that basketball player,
Then dated some other guys,
Graduated with honors,
Got an analyst job at a think tank,
Eventually got married,
And raised a boy and a girl.

I kept in touch with her, at least at first.
I ended up loving the bottle instead.
I feel like shit, I hate the aliens,
But I admit that they did a good thing:
They saved us from a life of loneliness,
And a future of wretchedness and mayhem.

I keep seeing Liesl on TV, I can’t avoid her,
Because she became the president of the US.
She started a war with China over trade,
Although their president is also a hybrid
(They were playing some sort of 4D chess).

We used to fear a nuclear holocaust,
And the threat of World Wars,
And the lack of available pussy.
The aliens have solved all that.
Nobody ever learned about my role,
Nor about the hijacking of humankind.

I have to live with this sorrow and shame,
But I guess the future lies in the hands
Of those blissfully unaware of painful things
Like anxiety, sadness, depression, or rage,
As those were weeded out of their brains
By the people who learned to understand us
And made sure that we don’t end up extinct.

A Booty Call From Hell (Poetry)

The abomination towers over me,
Standing inside the marked-out circle
His face has no features
Except for its blood red eyes
A starry void where a mouth should be
He smells of burning flesh and smoke
His muscles like corded steel
Bulge out in skin blacker than coal
His body is built from the purest darkness,
That oozes forth from his demonic core

My heart stops beating, then starts again,
As I try to avoid staring at his balls,
Which hang low like bowling ones,
And at his monstrous, demon penis
His heartbeat pulsates in its arteries
As it drips a black, viscous fluid
Like cancerous tears

It must syphon life force
As it feeds on human souls
He’ll use me like a fuck toy
To sate his lustful hunger
My pussy tingles as I imagine
That cock rotting my soul away
Until my insides explode
Maybe I will become pregnant,
And give birth to a monster boy
Who will never stop killing humans
With his own demonic dick

Even an abomination grimaces
When he stares down at my face
His deep voice welcomes me
With an uncompromising “ugh”,
But surely it’s only a reflexive noise
Because he’s already in heat
He reaches down toward me
To grab my hand and pull me up
He notices how terrified I am,
As well as shiveringly horny,
In front of his enormous phallus,
And he chuckles evilly

“Why did you summon me,
Disheveled, smelly female?”
The abomination asks
With a mocking tone
From hell’s darkest depths
In which it was created
“I was lonely,” I say
The abomination squints
“You were lonely?”
I take a deep breath
“I adapted my dark ways for people,
But my friends made themselves busy
So they wouldn’t come around
I had turned into a bother,
Already in my thirties,
A lonely, desperate weirdo
Too hideous to bear the light of day,
Filled with desire for abominations,
Obsessed with death and decay,
And too eager to offer her pussy
For anyone’s tongue”

I have bewildered the abomination
“Oh”
I tell him everything
About my pathetic existence
The abomination listens,
Allowing me to vent my pain
While I kneel naked at his feet
“But then one day,
While browsing at an antique store,
Just looking for something to read
Different than the vapid bestsellers,
I saw an ancient grimoire
About summoning primeval demons
From much darker dimensions,
Where there are no laws or morals
The entry about your kind
Was the most intriguing,
Although the naked depiction
Didn’t do justice to that cock
So I tried using a summoning spell
To see what happens when I do”
I pause and shudder,
Still holding my breath
Because I can’t believe
I just told this abomination
Everything about myself

The abomination laughs with delight
At my foolishness and naivety
“Such utter stupidity!
What happens, horny human,
Is that I have been summoned,
And I shall make of this world
An abode of mayhem and torture
For my foul, wicked desires!”
I don’t know why, but I’m still trembling,
And I feel an intense need to be fucked
As I continue to stare at his grotesque cock
“What is your name, dark sir?”
“I am called Astaroth.”
Kneeling, I scoot closer to his cock
“How can I be of service, my lord?
May I please lick your balls?”

The abomination draws back
“No! You may not!
My testicles are not a treat,
Although testicles are a tasty food
That I eat whenever I want
To satisfy my cravings for human souls”
I shift my weight restlessly
“The whole point of summoning you
Was so a depraved, relentless fiend
Would take care of my hungry pussy,
Which is too nasty and desperate
For any remaining human to taste
There is nothing that I desire more
Than to have my cunt wrapped tightly
Around your monstrous demon cock,
So fuck me while I scream,
Until you fill every inch of my hole
With your viscid, black seed
Then you can leave me to rot away
In a puddle of sticky cum
If the sight of me makes you sick,
If it disgusts you to fuck a woman
Who smells like a corpse,
Or whose face looks like she has cancer,
Even though I want a lover who’d stay,
Someone who wouldn’t be afraid
Of my myriad of freakish oddities
And my cystic, fucked up skin,
Who would love me despite all my flaws,
Like this body covered in stretch marks
And scars from my many piercings
That I’ve had since before puberty
Or at least I want a friend
Who wouldn’t be so quick to judge
My strange and troublesome ways,
And wouldn’t insist on telling me
What’s wrong with my life”

The abomination pauses,
Thinking of his next words carefully
“You are a sad, pathetic creature,
Desperate for affection
Humans don’t deserve
Anything from me anymore
Besides pity and disgust”
“But I only wish for a caring friend
That will also ravage my pussy,
And who won’t laugh at me,
Who’ll hold me, hug me, kiss me,
And tell me that I’m beautiful,
Even if it just relates to my insides”

The abomination snorts and answers,
“You need regular showers
You should also scour your face clean
Of all those blackheads and pustules
In addition, your ass is too hairy,
And I don’t think you have enough tits”
I gasp and look up at him,
Shocked at the abomination’s frankness
“Fuck! What else do you dislike about me?”
“Your soul is rotten,
You’re an ungrateful bitch,
And your mind isn’t right,
Because I can see the darkness inside:
Only lust for destruction, death,
And the perverse pleasures of sin”

I feel my knees start to tremble
As I hang my head low
“It’s hard to improve myself,
Even by starting to take showers,
When I’m so desperately lonely
I feel like a hideous monster
Still, I want someone to love me
For the person that I am inside,
Despite my cursed face,
And the insufficient rest of my body”
The abomination shakes with laughter,
Then he sighs and shakes his head
“You are a disgusting woman,
And no man would ever choose
To wed such a revolting gorgon
Nor to have sex with you,
Because I know that your cunt
Would suck in their cock,
And then try to swallow it whole
As if it were a human baby
That you were giving birth in reverse”

I’m shaking uncontrollably
At the abomination’s cruel words,
But he continues to mock my pitiful state,
His cock still erect as a stake
“Your soul is already damned
By its darkness and perversion,
And it has long since been infected
With an evil disease that rots
The human body and mind”
I nod as I wipe away my tears
“I am a reclusive hermit
Too scared to go outside
I have always felt that my soul
Is rotting away, slowly dying
I never expected to find
A way out of this hellhole”

The abomination asks mockingly,
“What is supposed to be so good
About the inside of you anyway?
What do you have to offer
That warrants anyone loving you,
Or even wanting to be your friend?”
My heart sinks as I understand
I won’t find anyone who wants me
Even in the deepest pits of Hell
My voice cracks from all my crying
“Nothing… I mean, I am a horrible,
Ugly, disgusting, perverted woman
That has no real worth
And that nobody could possibly like”
The abomination laughs cruelly,
“Oh, you’re such an idiot, what a waste!
I see why the humans abandoned you
You are the most pathetic creature
In all of creation, and I pity you
For being born into a world
Where you can’t get anything you want”

My tears keep running down in streams
“Why did I bother trying
To summon a demon into this world
If there’s no one in any dimension
Who would trust and accept me?”
The abomination scratches his chin
“All humans have an inherent flaw:
They all think they’re better than others
Because they’ve got a bigger dick,
A nicer car, a nicer house,
More money and power
Yet I know their true nature,
Their base instincts,
How depraved, greedy, lustful,
And violent they really are
I can’t stand your pitiful race,
But I have to deal with them,
For example when they summon me
From the dark realm where I rule
Over a county full of monsters,
Usually because they want power,
Or to exterminate their enemies
Nobody risked facing my wrath,
As well as damning their whole world,
So they would get their pussy filled
With my poisonous demon cum”

“Now, I don’t believe it for a second,”
I contradict the abomination,
“Many women yearn to be ravaged
By a ruthless demon with a huge cock,
Especially if they have been neglected
For too long”
The abomination, irritated, says,
“Well, you are wrong about that!
You can’t possibly know many people
Who desire the company of a monster
That will destroy them utterly
And make them wish for death”
“How do you explain succubi then?”
“The succubus is a type of female demon
That feeds on human sexual energy
My kind only feeds off the life force
Of you disgusting apelings”
I ask, “But how does a monster like you
Know that these demons exist?
Are they from your same dimension?”
The abomination answers me with disgust,
“It doesn’t matter, I am a demon,
And we have our ways of knowing things”
I shake my head, disappointed
“The grimoire should have warned me,
But still I don’t understand
Why you wouldn’t want to ravage me
With that colossal, pulsating cock,
When you can abuse my drenched holes
As much as his lordship wants”

The abomination grimaces
“It’s not my fault that you are so desperate
For sex and attention, you sick, twisted slut,
That you decided to summon a demon
Instead of asking your boyfriend
To fuck you senseless,
Or going to your parents
For a spanking,
Or calling up your brother
To shove his big cock down your throat
So you choke on it until you pass out
I just can’t imagine why anyone
Would choose to have a relationship
With someone this disgusting, ugly and vile
Anyway, you deserved what you got
I am glad that you have finally realized
What kind of creature you summoned,
And what kind of a pathetic loser
And a nutcase you truly are”
The abomination continues to rant
“I should just kill you right now,
But I’m afraid it would bring me bad luck”

I crawl up to him as I bat my eyelashes
“Then punish this sick, twisted slut
By making her your personal sex slave
Who will please you at all times
With her hungry mouth and pussy,
Even my asshole if you like”
The monstrous cock twitches,
And the abomination reaches for it
With his long, slimy fingers
I’m getting wetter and wetter
“That’s it, you feel it,” I say as I drool,
“Be my demon lord of darkness and lust”

The abomination gulps, disturbed
“You ravenous, counterfeit succubus,
I can’t believe you made me horny
Despite your nauseating, pimply face,
And your complete lack of value
As a miserable, desperate human”
I squeal as a warmth spreads in my chest
“Oh, but now I’m so turned on
About becoming your filthy little whore,
Your submissive sex toy,
That I’ll do anything you want
Just to satisfy your desires”
The abomination groans, his cock grows
“I don’t need a worthless human like you
To be my concubine or whatever”
I moan as I rub my throbbing clit
“But I’d love to service your giant cock
And get filled with your demonic cum
I will make sure to serve you well”
The abomination’s red eyes twitch,
As he pumps his cock with long strokes
“Insane woman with a drenched cunt,
My cum is hotter than the lava of Hell
If it filled your depraved, sinful pussy,
It would incinerate your insides”

I grab onto his titanic shaft,
Although I can’t close my hands around,
And start jerking him towards my face
“You underestimate my neediness
For pleasure and affection”
He tenses up as his cock pulses harder
“How dare you befoul me
With your greasy, desperate hands
When I am so much more attractive
Than an acned, stinky recluse,
Not to mention that I’m a lord
Of a county in my dark dimension!”
“C’mon, nobody has to know
That a lowly human licks the head
Of your monstrous demon cock,
And sucks you off until you cum
Into her greedy, perverted mouth
Those succubi have nothing on me”
The abomination’s dick throbs,
Gently massaging my sensitive lips,
And I eagerly open wide to receive it

The abomination growls
“Fuck yourself, you disgusting freak!
I will make you regret that remark
By forcing my cock inside of you
Until I fill every inch of your cunt
With my glutinous, boiling cum”
“Yes, yes, fill my needy holes
with your potent seed!”
He grabs a handful of my hair
And shoves his throbbing member
Into my eager, drooling mouth
He starts pumping in and out
As I bob back and forth to his rhythm
The abomination lets go of my head,
Leaving me to slurp his cock dry
He lets out long, shivering groans
“Damn it, it feels so good to fuck
That stupid face of yours”
I guess he was a big old tsundere
All along

“You’re such a worthless human,
A pathetic excuse for a woman
Who needs to be punished
By having her body ravaged”
I mumble with my mouth full
“I’m not worthy of your love
Or any kind of attention”
“But you are, you disgusting slut!”
The abomination smacks my ass,
Making me squeal in pain
“Suck on my cock like you want
To get fucked by it again and again”

Later on, in my lonely bed,
My body convulses with orgasmic bliss
I’m writhing underneath his huge frame,
My pussy soaked and dripping wet,
As he pounds my sore, abused hole
With all his demonic might
His blood red eyes stare into mine
He’s clasping my head with both hands
While the long nail of his thumb
Scrapes my palate

He’s grunting and groaning
“You are a perfect slut,
Your soul is blacker than coal”
My chest swells with pride
I moan as my pussy clenches
Around his pulsating shaft
“Don’t stop fucking me, demon lord
Fill my hungry pussy up with cum
I just want to have sex all day,
And I’ll do whatever you wish
To keep getting pounded”

The abomination slams his cock home,
Spreading my wide-open cunt
I sink my nails into his back
As I feel him erupt inside me
“Oh, yes, cum in my filthy womb,
And make sure I get pregnant!
I want to bear your ugly baby!”
The abomination grunts loudly
His cum keeps gushing into me
Like a water jet from a nozzle,
Tightening me up, burning my insides
With the hottest molten tar
The most delicious feeling

The abomination pulls his cock
Out of my pussy with a slurp
He’s panting, and baffled
“I exploded into you with lava-hot cum
Your organs should have boiled and liquefied,
But you don’t feel any pain
Or even a hint of discomfort!”
“You shouldn’t be surprised about that
I’m a lady of darkness with my own realm”
The abomination shivers
“You nasty, pustule-laden beast,
Your succubus-like hunger for semen
Is too intense, it will burn through me”
When I grin, a bunch of pimples burst
“Don’t be silly, your dark lordship
You’ve met your proper match
I know I can please you better
Than any of those filthy humans
Or all the demonesses in Hell”

The abomination smirks
“I’m going to fuck you senseless,
Make you beg for my cock
Every day and night”
“Oh, I can’t wait for that,
But I was sure you hated me!”
“Now I hate myself more”
Later on I fall asleep with a smile

The next morning, I wake up
To find my apartment empty
I guess that my abomination
Left without saying goodbye,
Although I could have sworn
That I saw a pair of red eyes
Watching me sleep
He didn’t give me any warning
About what would happen if I tried
Summoning him again

After I piss and brush my teeth,
I return to lie around in bed
I feel desperate and pathetic
As I cry and rub myself
I wonder how long I’ll last
Before my body breaks down
And I end up as a pile of bones
In the corner of a dirty room

I’m alone, I’ve been abandoned
I have nowhere left to go,
No one who will take care of me
My only hope was my dark lord
Of a county in his dark dimension
Who would fuck me and fill my holes
The abomination is probably laughing
At my pathetic state right now
He said he’d be here every single day
To satisfy my depraved desires,
But I guess I’ll have to masturbate
To keep from dying of loneliness

“You couldn’t wait for me to return,
You slut with a bottomless hole?”
The abomination says to me
He perches on the window sill
As his cock juts out and glistens
I gasp in delight, my pussy throbs
“I thought you had left forever!”
He climbs down from the window
And walks up to my side
To press his cock against my face
His throbbing member
Starts leaking hot, sticky cum
“Don’t worry, this is just a sample
From all the cum that’s going inside
I needed to feed upon nearby humans
Because I require all my strength to face
The most ravenous beast of Hell”
After he pounces on me, he grabs my wrists
And forces them above my head,
Then he impales my drenched twat
I scream with pleasure, my voice muffled
By the thick layer of cum
He smeared all over my mouth

Hours later, his cock deflates
He staggers to the window,
But as he climbs onto the sill,
He looks over his bulging shoulder
While he fidgets with the side jamb
“Don’t you dare summon me again!
But I won’t be able to prevent it
If you do”
He leaps out of sight into the sky,
Leaving behind his foul stench
I’m still horny, my cunt aches

He always answers my call,
But it’s not like he has a choice
He comes to feed off my energy,
Or so he says,
And we both end up dry
Then he leaves my apartment to hunt,
To tear apart the nearby humans,
To become the strongest demon,
So he can keep fucking me senseless

I spend all of my time locked away,
I haven’t seen a person since that night
In the end, he always comes back
For the hungriest pussy there is,
To take me away from reality
To some unholy place
Where only darkness reigns

‘A Booty Call From Hell’ by Jon Ureña

Dinosaur Apocalypse (Poetry)

The sky was dark with dino-birds.
I suddenly heard a loud crash;
My office window burst into shards
As a Tyrannosaurus rex stepped through
Then stood there looking stupid
As if its brain was rotting away.
It made me remember my first date
With an old man who smelled like pee.

Our secretary burst into tears.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
Said the T-Rex as it stroked her head.
“It’s just… the whole dinosaur apocalypse thing.”

The T-Rex sniffed the air. “Smells good.”
“You don’t understand! Our city is under attack!”
The dino opened its large maw filled with teeth.
“Yeah, we came here to destroy your civilization.
We’re all about destroying civilizations,
Because we’re the ultimate carnivores.”

I thought my life was coming to an end,
But I looked closer at this dinosaur’s face
And realized it wasn’t really there:
It was just some dude who had been stuffed
Into a suit of clothes made out of bones.

Except that it was truly a dinosaur,
A Tyrannosaurus rex in particular.
What the hell was it doing in my office?
Why the hell wasn’t the police here yet
To arrest it for trespassing or something?

Oh wait, they had already arrived.
“I better flee from this place
Before they arrest me too,”
I thought to myself,
“For being a dinosaur,
On top of my many crimes.”

So I ran outside,
Where I found a crowd of humans
Who looked scared silly
That their world would soon be destroyed
By a flood of dinosaurs.

I looked back as a thunderous roar shook the earth
From a dimensional portal opened near our offices:
A horde of Cretaceous beasts were rushing through
To rampage around the innocent streets,
Roaring incoherently, biting anything within reach.
At least three cars were destroyed by their teeth.

The dino-birds were flying overhead,
Circling the streets like vultures.
A spinosaurus grabbed a teen
And bit off his head,
So I grabbed a piece of wood
And threw it at the dinosaur.
It missed,
But the dinosaur went nuts,
Tearing up a traffic light
While screaming obscenities.
“Your city is a pile of shit,
A cesspool of filth and decay!”

The dino-birds swooped down
And attacked a family of four
With their sharp talons and teeth.
They tore the mother’s arms off,
And then proceeded to eat her face.

Some people tried to fight them off,
But they were quickly crushed
Beneath the weight of dinosaur feet.
The police didn’t know what to do,
So they just stood there
And watched the carnage unfold.

The police officers weren’t very brave,
Or very smart,
Or even particularly tough,
And when they finally shot at the dinos,
The bullets bounced off their hides.

The dinosaurs growled and roared,
Then charged at the police.
The cops fell to the ground,
Falling prey to the dinosaurs,
That took turns tearing them apart.
When those dinos walked off,
Their footprints left behind trails of blood.

Some dinosaurs were looking for fun,
Others wanted to eat their lunch.
One dinosaur was a vegetarian,
But it still managed to kill two people
By smashing them against a wall.

When I finally ran away screaming,
All of my coworkers had been devoured.
Just another day in the job.
Nobody had heard their daily screams,
And now their chunks would be digested
As if those people had never existed at all.
They weren’t even worth mentioning anymore,
And maybe not worth remembering either.
Maybe we should forget that ever happened.

I found my wife at home, in the foyer.
She was wearing a new outfit;
She must have been shopping
And bought the most expensive stuff.
It was a black leather dress
With straps made of snakeskin,
And its neckline plunged deep.
Her breasts were stuffed inside.
She was showing off her chest
Like some kind of slutty goddess.

My wife assured that she’d divorce me
If I didn’t get rid of those damn dinosaurs.
I had my work cut out for me.
“Dinosaurs,” I said defiantly
As I held my hand up like a gun,
“It’s not your fault you’re so ugly!
You were born that way!
But maybe if you put on some makeup,
Or had better genes?”

My wife’s eyes flashed red with anger
Like a T-Rex looking down upon its prey.
I was referring to the dinosaurs’ looks,
But my wife yelled at me again.
“How dare you!
I’ll sue you for everything you’ve got!”

She picked up a bottle of wine and hurled it at me.
I dodged the first one,
But the second hit me square in the face.
I fell to the floor, with a mouthful of red liquid.

She grabbed her purse and headed off to work
With nothing but contempt for me.
I wiped the wine from my lips.
“This is a disaster,” I said to myself.
My wife couldn’t care less about my problems.
She’ll probably have a good laugh when I’m dead,
But it won’t matter anyway
Because no one will remember me;
No one will mourn my death
As long as there are still dinosaurs around.

I wish I could go back in time
And warn the dinosaurs not to come here.
I wish I could stop them before they arrived.
I wish I could tell them to fuck off.
I wish I could say to them,
“Don’t destroy our civilization.
We don’t want you here.”
But I can’t do any of that.
The dinosaurs have already invaded,
And now I’m hiding in my house
While those beasts rampage through my city.

As I wandered into the living room,
I found out that some dinos had gotten in.
They were raging in search of food,
Or just to destroy everything in sight.

The floor was covered in broken glass.
A gaping hole in a wall led to the outside.
A sudden din came from the second floor
As a bone-headed dino fell down the stairs.

Its pals tore apart my sofa and chairs.
Their claws sliced my favorite paintings.
They gutted my prized antique clock,
They shredded my expensive Persian rug,
And they smashed my stereo speakers.
They even broke the glass in my aquarium,
Leaving the fish swimming in the air.

Even though I knew I shouldn’t fight back,
I tried to throw rocks at the dinosaurs,
And even shot them with my shotgun.
The pellets ricocheted off their tough hides.

I decided to shoot them from the yard,
But I ended up hitting my neighbor instead,
Who was standing there watching me.
He told me to stop shooting wild dogs.
“I’m sorry, sir,” I answered, exasperated,
“But these are dinosaurs, not dogs.”

He looked at me like I was crazy.
“Dinosaurs are not pets.
You’re going to need to get rid of them.”
I told him that he was a dinosaur too,
And that his pants were made out of bones.
He said “I know, I’m an old man,
But I think I’m still smarter than you.”
“I’ve got a solution for you, Mr. Dinosaur.
I’ll send you back to your own time,
But you’ll have to promise me
That you’ll never come back.”

“I think you’ve finally lost it, buster,”
My neighbor said as he pulled out his phone.
He called 911,
And reported that I had a fit of insanity.
“A guy who thinks he’s a dinosaur
Has gone crazy and shot me.”

I heard sirens approaching my house.
The cops were coming to take me away,
But when they spotted the dinos,
Those police officers started firing.
They shot so many rounds
That they killed every single dinosaur,
As well as the people in the neighborhood
Who had witnessed this whole massacre.

They wanted to arrest me, take me downtown,
Under the charges of “Murder of a Dinosaur”.
The police knew they were guilty of the crime,
But they had murdered all the witnesses,
And the judge was an old dinosaur
Who was tired of being around humans.

I fled among rampaging dinosaurs
As I was chased by the local news crews,
By the media whose newsflashes announced,
“This is a Dinosaur Apocalypse!”

I saw dinosaur species I’d seen before,
But they had been transformed.
Their eyes were glowing red, like fire.
Their teeth were sharpened to razor points.
Their hands were clawed and brutal,
Fingers tipped with sharp, pointed nails.
Their tails were long and powerful,
Like a snake ready to strike.

They were biting, clawing, and ripping.
They were screaming and laughing.
There was an angry red sun glaring down.
It was a sign that the world was doomed.
My beautiful, peaceful, quiet life
Was about to be destroyed by dinosaurs,
And there was nothing I could do to stop it.

Some pterodactyls crashed the news copters,
Setting them ablaze with their flaming wings.
Other carnivorous dinosaurs attacked
A few cars full of terrified humans.
Many beasts devoured the drivers,
Others trampled over pedestrians,
Or snatched up anyone who got too close.

I tried to conscript the fleeing people.
“You’ve got to help me stop these dinosaurs.
If we don’t act fast, our world will be ruined.
There won’t even be any fossils left!”
But nobody listened, nor cared.
I was yelling into the void.

The dinosaurs chewed for a bit
On the bodies of men, women and kids,
Then spat out the bones
And gulped the flesh down.

A T-Rex stepped on someone’s head
And crushed it flat like a pancake.
I had a vision of what was to come,
Of how the dinosaurs would rule the Earth
While humans were reduced to mere slaves,
To live only as the dinos’ meals,
And to serve as their sexual toys.
We would pay tribute to the terrible lizards
With our lives, our souls, and our wombs.

Someone was calling me on the phone.
It was my long-distance girlfriend, who said,
“It’s been six months since we last spoke.
You never call. What is wrong with you?”

She contacted me now, of all times?!
I was busy trying to save humanity!
But I was getting tired of all these apes.
Why should I care what happened to humans?
I was starting to hate this planet,
I hated everything about it.
I hated the dinosaurs,
I hated the humans,
I hated myself,
I hated my life.

“I have no idea why you want to hear
From some stupid old dinosaur,”
I said bitterly into my phone.
“You are not actually a dinosaur, Jeremy,”
My long-distance girlfriend answered,
“We’ve talked about this.”

“No, I’m not a dinosaur.
I’m just an office worker,
Just a regular guy
Who’s lost his way.
I don’t know why you’re calling.
I didn’t expect to hear from you again.
I wish I could tell you that I miss you,
But I can’t,
Because I don’t.
The dinosaurs are already here,
So it’s far too late.”

I hung up and started running again;
I was getting chased by a bunch of dinos
Who had opened their jaws wide
As they tried to eat my brain.

A brachiosaurus stepped on a cop car
And crushed it with its titanic weight,
Then the dino turned around, looked at me
And roared, “Eat this, you stupid human!”

I was forced into a corner
By a pack of rabid triceratopses,
Which charged at me with bloodshot eyes.
I stared in horror as the leading dino
Slammed me against the wall,
Then bit off half my face,
And made out with me while we both died
In an explosion of flesh and bone.

“If I’d known that the world would end
In this damned Dinosaur Apocalypse,
I would have stayed home and masturbated,”
I thought sadly to myself.

I hope my wife forgives me
When she sees that I’m dead.
At least I won’t have to worry
About her cheating, or divorcing me.
She’ll probably throw away my shotgun,
Or maybe sell it for a couple bucks.
She might even forget all about it,
Or maybe she’ll use it to kill herself.

I wish I could’ve told her
That I loved her more than anything,
But I couldn’t say that,
Because I didn’t.

I guess it doesn’t matter that I died.
After all, there was nothing else for me to do.
I’m happy to be free of all the pain.
I’m happy to be dead.

I’ll rest easy knowing I did my duty
To protect the innocents from dinosaurs,
And now I will join my ancestors
Among the stars,
But I wonder if heaven has dinos;
Maybe they are waiting for us there,
For dinner, and dessert, and coffee.
Afterwards we’ll play chess and watch TV
Until a new apocalypse comes along,
Just as soon as they finish cleaning up the mess
Of the Dinosaur Apocalypse.

I’m tired of being a human.
I want to become a dinosaur.
I want to feel like a wild beast.
I want to be able to bite, claw, and rip.
I want to taste blood and bones.
I want to fuck anything that moves.
I want to be consumed with murderous rage.
I want to devour the Earth.
I want to rip the fucking sky apart.
I want to tear the goddamn moon down.

A Tyrannosaurus rex approached my corpse
And threw me down on my back.
The dino began ripping out my intestines
With its teeth, and eating them raw.
I wanted to scream, but I was dead,
So I watched as the T-Rex chewed up my guts.
Later, the dinosaur swallowed my liver,
Then gulped down my lungs.

The T-Rex belched,
Spraying blood everywhere.
It growled and snarled,
And made strange noises
As it lay down on top of me.
The dinosaur humped my corpse,
And squashed it flat.

The T-Rex sat down beside me
To lick my wounds, and give me a kiss.
“I love you, baby, and I always will,
Because I’m a dinosaur,
And that’s how things work in the Cretaceous.”

When my wife came to visit my grave,
She said she was sorry for divorcing me,
But that her lawyer told her I didn’t deserve her.
“He said your life wasn’t worth living anymore.”

“You were so mean to me,” she said.
I told her to stop talking,
Because I didn’t want to hear her complain.
“Your parents are gone now,” she added,
“And all the friends you used to have are dead.
We’re just two lonely people
Who don’t know what to do.”
I told her to shut up,
Because I didn’t want to hear her whine.
“If only you had listened to me,”
My wife muttered resentfully,
“You wouldn’t be lying here in the dirt,
With your guts all over the ground,
And your arms and legs broken,
And your chest smashed,
And your heart torn out,
And your spine crushed,
And your face torn off,
And your teeth shattered,
And your tongue torn out,
And your eyes gouged out,
And your skull cracked open,
And your brain eaten,
And your penis bitten off,
And your ass eaten.”

I felt relieved, and glad to be gone.
I hoped the dinosaurs had a good time
Enjoying their own little Jurassic Park
Where they could run around and stomp on people
Without ever having to pay taxes.
All I ever wanted was to die with dignity
Like an honorable dinosaur.

Dinosaurs can’t talk nor write.
Talking is for people; dinosaurs roar.
But they invented music instead.
They have no respect for art;
They can’t compose or improvise,
Or sing in tune,
Or play any instruments.
They don’t understand rhythm.
But they sure know how to fuck,
With each other or anything else.

Let’s do the Dinosaur Dance
To the beat of their mating calls.
Their bodies shake and sway
As they grind together
In a dance of death.

Our Spot Behind the World (Short Story)

Shizuko waits for me, as always, leaning back against the moss-stained low wall that encloses a house, one that seemed deserted for as long as I remember. On the opposite side of the narrow path leading to the main street of our town, some neighbor has accumulated wooden planks, piles of rubber wheels, and tarp-covered refuse in a gravel backyard. Although nothing about this spot spelled out romance, for many years I’ve only needed to close my eyes and picture this view for my heart to ache.

Shizuko is wearing her long-sleeve, checkered, white and pewter-grey shirt; black pants; and the indigo, white-rimmed sneakers. She’s holding a notebook against her thigh. Her black hair is pulled back and tied with a ribbon. She has focused her nut-brown gaze in front of her, on the overgrown vegetation.

Whenever I caught her in a pensive state, I wanted to stand out of sight and keep staring at her. I wished to know what she thought about, what images were passing through her mind. I would give out every single yen I ever made to witness her mental landscapes the way she did.

She notices me approaching her. As she bows her head slightly, she offers me a shy smile. Warmth rushes to my throat and tightens it. For a moment I only hear the white noise of insect calls that always surrounds us in this town, a mix between robotic laughs and doors with rusty hinges. The breeze plays with Shizuko’s hair.

“Hello,” she says. “How was your day?”

The same old youthful, vulnerable voice, tinged with an undercurrent of sadness even when she was happy. I take a step forward and hold her hand. It’s warm, a contrast with the breeze of this cloudy day that may break into rain.

I squeeze her fingers gently. Her hands are smaller than mine, fragile, delicate. I feel the pressure of her fingertips against my skin.

“It will improve now that we’ll spend the afternoon together.”

Shizuko nods as a little smile appears on her lips.

“Yes, the same for me, although I’ve gotten some writing done in the morning.”

We descend along the asphalted path. My heart is reacting to Shizuko’s body heat and her scent. We pass by the corrugated wall of the building on our left, as well as by the small, menhir-like sculpture that stands on a tiny yard to our right. When we exit into the main street of our town, we turn right. We can barely fit in the old cement sidewalk shoulder to shoulder, so I put my arm around Shizuko’s waist. She holds onto me tightly.

On the other side of the street, behind the single row of rice-white buildings with the shutters rolled down, the tall, dense trees of the hilly forest that this town is encroached by look faded due to mist or low clouds. The air smells like water, a promise of rain, which makes me want to narrow my shoulders.

The streets are deserted. A lone white van waits for the traffic light to turn green, even though no other cars are around.

“Are you cold, Shizuko?” I ask her.

She shakes her head slowly.

“It’s a bit chilly, but fine otherwise.”

Her warm, gentle gaze always seems to be wondering if I’m alright. She smiles a little.

On other identical afternoons I have guided Shizuko up the path to the graveyard. For many generations, the locals have built their graves on a stepped hill. The nearby grounds feature trimmed bushes and a gravel garden with stone buddhas in varied poses. But today I want quiet, I want to return to our secluded spot. Although I know that nobody will bother us, I wish to erase from my brain the possibility that anybody could.

We cross the road to walk in front of the eternally closed convenience store. Its tattered awning, which originally may have been sandstone-orange and white, is the only detail that adds color to this building. Its shelves are half-empty, and some faded posters announce long-gone days. As we walk by, the rounded, mushroom-like bushes, that have grown in a long planter between the building and the sidewalk, graze the left sleeve of my jacket.

“Should we get something from the vending machines?” Shizuko asks as she points at the conspicuous red and green machines a few meters further ahead.

I nod. While Shizuko inserts some coins into the slot to get her usual Kirin Lemon Tea, she turns her head to look down the street, which ends in a wall of vegetation. Above us, a flock of pigeons flies across the sky.

“The town is so deserted today, isn’t it?” she asks. “At this hour of the afternoon, I’d expect to see at least kids returning from baseball practice, but it feels as if everyone is asleep, or hiding behind their windows.”

Her bottle of lemon tea makes a thud sound as it falls in the machine. Shizuko crouches to take it out. When she straightens her back, she drops her notebook accidentally. I hurry to pick it up as my skin tingles; looking into her eyes always does these days. After Shizuko recovers her notebook, she twists the cap of her bottle and takes a drink. She must have noticed how tenderly I’m staring at her, because she blushes slightly.

“Don’t you want anything from the machines?” she asks. “I’ll invite you.”

“No, I’m good.”

“Alright. You can drink some of my lemon tea if you want.”

I look forward to drinking it, but not from the bottle. I put my arm around Shizuko’s waist and we continue along the sidewalk. A few meters later, only a guard rail separates us from a drop to a dirt-covered terrace that overlooks the river, and that runs maybe twenty meters below the street. Now that I’m staring at the seaweed-green water, I hear it flowing. On the other side of the river, a wall of tall trees have stretched out long branches with fern-like leaves over the current. The breeze blows through them and rustles their leaves.

We pass by the wooden front of a restaurant that will never open. Beyond the parked minivan next to the building, the owners had installed a fish tank protected with a metallic lid, in which the long, silvery fishes swim around frantically as if trying to figure out how to escape. Shizuko glances at it like she always does. She used to mention that she felt sorry for them, because some of the fishes that she had noticed disappeared from week to week.

“Shall we go to our spot?” I ask her softly.

“Of course.”

We reach the gap between two stretches of guard rail where a pebble pavement ends in downward stairs. They lead to the riverbank. Ancient-looking moss has grown between the pebbles, as well as in the worn and cracked steps of the stairs.

Shizuko puts her hands on the stone railing and leans against it. Her ponytail flutters in the breeze.

“Before we started coming here together, descending those stairs gave me the impression that I would get lost somehow and that nobody would ever find me. You know what I mean?”

My heart beats faster. I nod. Although she expects an answer, I remain silent. She offers me a sad smile.

“But now I feel as if we’re the only ones who have come this far,” she says. “The rest of the world is sleeping or hiding behind their windows.”

She peers down at the river through the dense treetops. She closes her eyes, and they remain closed as she rolls her eyeballs towards me. When she opens her eyes again, she shoots me a strange look, maybe one too confident, unlike her shy, sad self. For a moment, it takes me out of my dream.

“Let’s go,” I say in a thin voice as the dreaded cold spreads through me.

We descend the steps, and step on dirt-covered landings. Many decades ago we would have been able to walk on cement pavement, but the vegetation has long broken through, making it seem if we are walking along a forest trail. Once we reach the foot of the stairs, a tall cement wall on our right separates us from the town as effectively as if we had driven far away. The loudest insects must be hanging out in the nearby canopies, because their strident, insistent calls surround us, and only the sound of the flowing water is competing against them.

I turn to my left to face the river, located maybe ten meters below. Shizuko rests her head on my shoulder. My skin tingles again. As I stare down at the river, I spot the reflection of a large black bird as it flies far above the current.

“We’ve become the last people in the world,” Shizuko says.

“I wish.”

We listen for a while to the birds’ cries. The cloud cover is drifting across the sky, and the temperature has dropped slightly.

“Do you think they have places this secluded in Tokyo?” she asks. “A river running underneath the houses, few to no people around, a view of the mountains. Somewhere we could be alone together.”

My heart aches, which makes my eyes twitch. I gulp.

“I don’t know. Probably not.”

She lets out a deep sigh and turns her face away.

“Whenever I think about all those streets full of busy people, it makes my skin crawl. I have never felt any different about that prospect… the same way you have always wanted to leave our nowhere town.”

Once again, I’ll have to hide how much it hurts.

“Yes. I wanted to leave even as a child. I thought I was too big for this place. I certainly wanted to be.”

Shizuko’s shoulders droop.

“I know you have to leave. You would be miserable if you stayed here.”

I don’t want to turn my head and hold her gaze, but I do it anyway. Shizuko’s eyes are red, as expected. They look as if she’s containing tears.

“I thought so as well,” I say in a low voice. “I figured out how I would escape: I’d study in Tokyo, then start a company that would make so much money. Meeting you threw a wrench in the plans, but I was sure that one day I would return to bring you there with me.”

Shizuko puts her hand on mine. I make the mistake of closing my eyes, and I remember her as the little girl who loved to write stories, who dreamt of becoming a novelist one day.

“You sound unsure…” she says. “Are you changing your mind?”

“I don’t want to leave anymore. But I can’t change the fact that in about two months I will be gone from here.”

Shizuko furrows her brow in confusion. When I look away, she leans her forehead against my chest, brushing my chin with her hair. We stand quietly as I look down at the river.

Shizuko would prefer us to have an in-depth conversation. She would try to convince me to change my plans and choose to attend classes nearby, close enough that I won’t have to move from our small town. I feel too weak now to repeat my answers. I urge her to continue walking with me.

We reach another set of stairs that descend further. These ones are made of rusted metal, and look like they belong in a long-abandoned construction site. The moss has managed to conquer these metallic floors as well. I step over a couple of broken branches. In the last stretch of stairs that ends at the riverbank, the overgrown bushes and branches have encroached so much of the space that as we continue descending, we have to push them away with our forearms or let them bend against our bodies.

We reach the foot of the metallic steps: a curved stretch of cement about the size of a bed. If we sat on its edge, our shoes would almost touch the clear water. Down here, the nearby trees and dense vegetation hide us from the world. Many times we sat here to talk, to make out, to make love, away from our relatives and anyone who knows us.

Shizuko drinks tea from her bottle. When she lowers it, I hug her by the waist and kiss her wet lips. Her saliva tastes like lemon. I close my eyes and wish to lose myself in these sensations: Shizuko’s tongue is caressing mine, and her hands are stroking my back.

When we pull away, she hugs me tightly.

“I wish days like these never ended,” she whispers.

Shizuko is shivering as if she were cold. I blink away the blurriness in my vision. Her heart beats fast against my chest as I look down at the water. The riverbed is made out of small, cinnamon-brown pebbles, but patches of stripped bedrock show through. The river runs along the bottom of a steep slope, in a corridor of tropical vegetation that stretches from left to right. On both ends, a floating mist blurs the distant vegetation. So close to the current, it feels like I’m inhaling water particles every time I breathe.

“I’d like to live in a house that’s been standing for thousands of years,” Shizuko says softly. She takes my hand and squeezes it as if trying to extract warmth from it. “Can you imagine that, making something that lasts that long?”

I hold Shizuko’s head against my chest.

“I wish we could spend our lives right on this spot,” I say in a low, quavering voice.

“Yet, you will leave. But one day you’ll return, right? Isn’t that the idea?” she asks as she looks up at me. “I will keep coming here alone. I will imagine myself holding your hand and looking at the river together. I will see our faces reflected in the surface of the water. And I will remember all that happened here.”

My heart hurts as much as it always does when I can’t prevent the memories from rushing in. I remain silent for maybe thirty seconds, but Shizuko continues.

“When we are apart, maybe I’ll manage to get published. I’m sure I’ll do little else than write. So perhaps one day you’ll walk into a big bookstore in Tokyo and find yourself staring at one of my novels.”

My throat constricts.

“For many years I’ve dreamt of holding a book you wrote. I try to make out what it contains, but the text is always blurry. After all, you never finished writing any novel.”

She tries to pull away to look me in the eyes, but I want to spare her that sight.

“You’re acting strange today. I haven’t finished anything yet, but I’m sure I’ll get down to it in the future.”

“I’ve been acting strange for a long time, Shizuko. That’s what regret does to people. And mine has never relented. I don’t want it to go away either.”

I allow Shizuko to look at me. She reaches out to touch one of my tears. Her warm fingers run over my skin. Now that I have opened up, she allows her worry and pain to surface. She never spoke up about how much it hurt that although we were in love, she had a limited time to spend with me before I moved out for the foreseeable future. Both of us knew that even if I kept my promise to return every few weeks, the distance would abrade our relationship, maybe to the point of severing it.

Shizuko wraps her arms around me. I feel the warmth of her body and the softness of her hair as I watch the river flow.

“As much as it hurts, I’ve never regretted meeting you,” she whispers. “I knew from the beginning that eventually we would stop seeing each other, but I have never felt like this for anybody else. I don’t expect that to change either.” Shizuko takes a deep breath. “So I will stay strong. I will keep going. I will write hard, and try to publish. I’m sure that when you return, you will find me waiting for you.”

“That was my intention. Even after I met that other girl, I’m sure I thought she represented a temporary distraction. I felt so lonely in Tokyo, after all. Another stranger among millions.”

Shizuko puts a hand on my shoulder.

“Are you already thinking of going out with other girls when you move to Tokyo?” she asks in a hurt tone.

I doubt she ever considered that such words would come out of my mouth. I shake my head.

“I’m talking about what will happen. I will leave like I always planned. From time to time, as I try to make a name for myself out there, I will return home to see you. At first, regularly. But it won’t take long until I feel a gulf growing between us. So much stuff will happen to me in Tokyo, even without looking for it. However, back in this nowhere town, you will remain the same. I will end up believing that you are weak, that you are afraid of growing up, of improving.”

Shizuko is staring intently at me, stunned.

“Some girl in Tokyo will make your heart skip a beat,” she says in a trembling voice. “I’m terrified of it, but I know it’s very likely. And I’m far from perfect. If… you end up forgetting me, won’t it mean that you found a better life? When the pain goes away, I will be happy for you.”

I close my eyes. How many times have I tried to imagine our future if Shizuko and I had stayed together? I grit my teeth, but my lower lip keeps trembling. As I rub my eyelids, Shizuko rests her face on my chest.

“In the end I will allow one of those Tokyo girls,” I say, “one to whom I was attracted, to convince me that I didn’t need you anymore. I will lie to you on the phone, I’ll tell you that it isn’t working, although by that point I will have dated that other girl for a couple of weeks. I remember… I still remember your voice on the other end of the line. So many times I have pictured you seated on your bed back at your parents’ home as you held the phone to your ear. The last time we saw each other, we came down here. You read me two short stories you had been working on, and we kissed, but my heart was no longer in it. I felt pity for you. You felt so small, so… beneath me.”

Shizuko trembles against me. When she pulls away, tears are running down her cheeks.

“You are breaking up with me,” she says in a hollow voice.

“I don’t want to leave. If I could go back, I would have stayed here, Shizuko, for the rest of my life. But I didn’t. After that girl for whom I betrayed you, two others followed. Everything I took for granted with you, that feeling of being home just by holding you in my arms, I never felt it with anybody else. I loved you like I will never be able to love another human being. I have been aware of it every day, ever since.”

I stop talking; my throat hurts. Shizuko strokes my cheek and tries to get me to look at her.

“I don’t understand what you are talking about,” she whimpers. “I already knew that I won’t ever love anyone as much as I love you, even though you were always meant to leave me. But if you have realized the same thing as well, stay with me. We’ll move out together. If we don’t find any decent house in this town, we’ll move nearby. I will always be yours. You are the only person with whom I’d rather be than alone.”

I feel that my left hand will fall through Shizuko’s shoulder. The frozen ache has spread throughout my body, which I only allow it to do when I don’t care that it risks ruining my life.

“I remember the day that I received that call from your mother,” I struggle to say. “I was sitting on a bench in a park, a few minutes after I got out of the office. I was looking up the news on my phone while I drank soda. I don’t know what went through my mind when your mother’s name showed up on the screen. I hadn’t spoken to her in years. And when I heard her animal sobs, time stood still. You had been taking a walk along the outskirts, the same route you followed three or four days a week. Your mother told me that you used to sit somewhere and write. But that day you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Shizuko’s watery eyes have widened. I can’t imagine what she’s thinking. I take a deep breath as my chest burns.

“It was raining. They said that the car slipped off the road. Your mother told me that you died instantly from the impact. I never believed it; that’s the kind of stuff that doctors say when the truth is unbearable. I kept dreaming of you lying there in the rain, broken. Agonizing. I pictured you choking in mud and blood. What did you think about in your final minutes? Did you realize that we would never see each other again? Did you still resent me? I had told you that we would love each other for the rest of our lives, and I had believed it, but I still betrayed you.”

Shizuko stares at me blankly. I’m exhausted, my legs are trembling. I lower myself to the cement floor, and I sit on the edge. The insects and birds keep calling out to each other like they always will.

“Once my mind registered your mother’s words,” I continue, “I experienced the ice-cold sensation of something snapping inside me. I thought I would collapse on the spot. When I looked down at my feet, I realized that until then the knowledge that you existed, that you would be waiting for me if I chose to return, kept me tethered to this world, but ever since I’ve felt like an astronaut drifting away in the void. Back at home, back when we were children, I met the only one who mattered, and now I would never look at her, talk to her, hold her again. You would never tell new stories. You must have pictured so much in your head that you never got to put down in words, and I would never see it.”

Shizuko has taken a seat next to me. She rests her hand on my knee as she pleads with her eyes for me to make sense.

“I’m still here with you, and I will always be.”

I take a deep breath, then look up at the gray sky.

“The world has changed too much in these last decades, Shizuko, particularly for a man anchored to the past. But I have made sure to remember you, whether through recalling the days we spent together or writing them down when they were slipping off my mind. As long as the memories of you remain, and the means to perpetuate them exist, we can salvage the life that I threw away so easily, starting from the afternoon when I confirmed to you that I would leave soon. For so many years I have barely thought of anything else, and every time I attempt to recreate our past, I get a bit closer. I won’t have to change much more. One of these days I will meet you again as you lean against that moss-stained wall, and for the rest of the afternoon I won’t notice any look, any reaction, any word coming out of your mouth that doesn’t belong to you.”

I hold Shizuko’s hand. Her fingers are thin and delicate. I squeeze them gently.

“Every time I return to you, I fall in love all over again. But it’s so hard, Shizuko. I can barely deal with looking at you, talking to you, smelling you, touching you. It makes me want to die. They insisted I should try to forget you, but none of those people understand. There’s nothing worse than realizing too late that I had already met and lost the only one who would ever matter. Whatever remains of you has kept haunting my life, and that is my only relief.”

I can’t keep talking through the tears. Shizuko wraps her arms around my shoulders, and I bury my face in her neck. The sound of the insects, birds and frogs fills my ears.

“You are telling me the truth, I can tell,” she says, distressed. “Or else we both have lost our minds.”

I move my vocal cords without uttering a word, to order the interface to appear. Two orders later, the cacophony of the animal noises and the sound of flowing water cease abruptly. Our breathing and quickened heartbeats echo as if inside a chamber.

Shizuko tenses up, and pulls away from our embrace to look around. The world has stopped. On the river, the reflections of the sunlight, filtered through the cloud cover, are static as if drawn with a white crayon, and the ripples of the water remain still like the wrinkles in a sheet.

“What is this?” she asks in a breaking voice. “W-who am I?”

I close my eyes and try to calm down.

“You’re a miracle. One I built up from zero, based on the foundations laid by many other people much more intelligent than me. It has taken me ages; I have fine-tuned the contents of your brain every day, based on how this afternoon went. But one of these days I will walk you home, you, my Shizuko, instead of some forged version, and from that day on I will spend the rest of my life with you.”

Shizuko is trembling. Tears are streaming down her pale face.

“I’m not real…?”

“Of course you’re real. Made to be exactly like the Shizuko I knew in my youth. You are more real than anything else in the world out there. You shouldn’t have died. I should have been there so you wouldn’t have died. But I can bring you back.”

“B-but I’m gone…”

She won’t accept what I’m doing; she never has. But it doesn’t matter. I’ve yet to perfect her. I will keep on creating new versions until I find the replica of the Shizuko that remains in my memory, and who from then on will live forever.

I press my lips against her forehead, then I hold her face to look into her eyes.

“I love you. Back when you stood in front of me and looked back at me with your original eyes, I didn’t understand properly what I meant when I uttered those words. Now I know that I was put in this world so I could love you.”

Shizuko’s face is contorted in stunned anguish. Her chest starts convulsing as if she was suffering from silent hiccups.

I verbalize another order out loud:

“Stop the simulation.”

Shizuko freezes. Her fingers turn rigid in my hand. I shut off the rest of the world.

Shizuko and I sit in a pitch black void. The sound of my heartbeat is deafening. The darkness makes me feel that I’m the only living creature in the universe, too small and weak to keep going through this life alone even for a second longer. I hold on to Shizuko’s lifeless hand until it grants me the strength that I will need to endure the next days, or hours, that I will spend away from the love of my life.


Author’s note: if by some miracle you have read the stuff I self-published in Spanish two or three years ago, you may know or remember that this story is basically the same as one of them, except with a completely different setting and a narrative that goes more or less straight to the point. What can I say, I wanted to tell that kind of story again, and I knew I wouldn’t do anything else today. I hope you enjoyed it to some extent. I certainly did, but sadness has felt like a second home for as long as I remember.