She started lubricating carefully
The length of the plastic penis
With big, oily globs of lube;
That vision pulled me out of my trance,
Of my mind’s attempts at evading reality.
My heart pounded in fear and dread,
And I folded my knees towards my chest.
“No, none of that!” I pleaded weakly.
She snorted as she adjusted the harness,
Then she stroked the plastic cock
While she stared down at me defiantly.
“I will fuck you like a whore.
You will feel that pleasure, that pain.
You will learn how it feels to be a girl.”
She climbed onto the bed,
Then put a hand on my knee,
Pushed it aside and slapped my ass.
Her breasts were shaking as if laughing
At the thought of what she was about to do.
The panic was strangling me.
“I beg you, please! I don’t want that!”
The woman was kneeling in front
Of my two closed legs
As she rested her palms on my knees.
Her face was flushed with excitement,
And her eyes glinted like a predator’s.
“This is my weapon, and I will use it.
I will find out how much of this thing
That new pussy of yours can take.
Women enjoy having their vaginas
Penetrated by big cocks, don’t they?
They moan with pleasure
When men thrust in their insides.”
She grinned and slipped her hand
Between my thighs to rub my genitals.
Her voice was rough and commanding.
“You are already wet, my slut.
This pussy is getting tired of waiting
For her owner’s dick to enter it.”
She rubbed my clitoris,
Making me pant with shame and lust.
I understood she wouldn’t relent;
She had already broken most of my self.
Still, I screamed and trashed around.
When she pushed my legs apart,
My muscles were too weak to resist,
But before I knew it, I kicked her,
And one of my toenails scratched her neck.
I gasped, and held my breath,
Because the woman had frozen
And her eyes had gone cold.
Blood was beading on the cut.
I was terrified of the punishment,
Which I knew she would inflict,
And she didn’t need to say a word
About how much she could hurt me.
She sighed, her gaze softened,
Then she stroked my head.
“You are so cute when you try to escape.”
Shortly after, she pulled out cuffs
From under the sides of the mattress
And fastened them around my ankles,
Then tightened those chains
Until I was stuck spread-eagled.
My body was completely at her mercy.
I was shivering and crying hard
In hot streams that poured into my earholes.
My lips were trembling uncontrollably.
The woman kneeled underneath my thighs,
Then leaned forward and cupped my face.
She rubbed her fingers along my cheekbone.
She kissed my closed lips tenderly,
Although she would taste her own pee.
“My little pet, look at me.
I’m the architect of your current form,
I’m the one who has given you a pussy.
Besides, your life had already ended.
You had no clue what to do with yourself.
Someone must decide what’s good for you.”
I felt my chest constrict with fear
As my heart was pounding loudly.
I shook my head again and again
While I blubbered like a child.
I felt the plastic cockhead, and flinched,
But the woman chuckled.
“You think you are still a man,
When you are crying this much?”
She pressed her weight on me,
Squeezing her breasts against mine.
The plastic glans nestled in the labia
Of the genitals she had given me.
Her face hovered centimeters above mine.
She breathed deeply, warmly on my lips.
I couldn’t move, I whimpered in fear.
She slowly licked the tears from my cheek.
“You can’t defend yourself against me.
I can do with you whatever I want.
You are weak, physically and mentally.
You were meant to be subservient to me.
Don’t worry, I won’t injure my little pet.
Stop struggling pointlessly, and surrender.
You will start feeling much better.”
She rested her cheek on mine
And her fingers dug into my scalp
As I felt the plastic cockhead
Slowly sliding inside me.
“Please, stop! Stop!”
My voice was agonized and hoarse.
“Sweet girl,” she whispered in my ear,
“Your body is a temple of pleasure.
Let me give you what you deserve.”
Her fingers were digging into my hair.
The dildo had advanced about two centimeters
When I suddenly felt a sharp, intense pain
As if something had broken inside me.
“You aren’t a virgin anymore,” she said.
As the foreign object penetrated me,
Sinking deeper and deeper,
I felt as if she was stabbing me
With a thick, slimy pole.
I heard the blood rushing to my ears,
And the intense pain made me dizzy.
I could feel my vagina being stretched.
She kissed me softly on the temple
And then whispered in my ear:
“That’s right, just relax and let me in.”
She kept pushing her hips into mine
As my restrained knees ached with strain.
My eyes were shut tight
While my mind was curled up in a ball,
But I had stopped writhing and whining,
And moans escaped from my throat.
I wanted to hold them in,
I tried to concentrate on my breathing,
Because I hated how good it felt.
She had taken away all of my strength,
And she was using me like a toy.
I knew that I deserved this fate.
I needed to be punished more;
I craved my own suffering.
As the woman’s pelvis ground against me,
I started panting with pleasure.
A strange sensation of warmth and wetness
Spread through my whole body.
She fondled and sucked on my breasts
While she pulled the cock slowly
Only to push it deep again,
Which made me groan and shiver.
The woman leaned over me.
Her forehead was beaded with sweat,
And she was breathing hard.
“You are my slut, aren’t you?”
My legs were trembling.
“Answer me,” she ordered,
“Are you my slut or not?
I can tell that you are loving this.”
I cried out, then nodded.
“I’m your little slut,” I mumbled.
“I can’t hear you. Louder.”
“Yes! I love it! I’m a slut!”
She smiled at my response,
Then she leaned down and kissed me.
Her tongue invaded my mouth.
For a moment I wanted to bite it,
To tear her tongue out,
Although I knew she would kill me,
Or maybe precisely because she would.
But I closed my lips around her tongue
And sucked on it as if it were her clit.
When the woman pulled away,
Her face was twisted with lust.
“You make me so fucking horny.
Beg me to make you come.”
My whole body was shuddering.
“Fuck me harder, Mistress!
Make me come. I need it!”
She kissed me and hugged me tight
As she slammed her pelvis against mine.
I felt like I was drowning in a sea of pleasure.
“Come for me, my little slut,” she ordered.
I was screaming and moaning.
My entire body was quivering.
I wanted her to keep fucking me forever.
The ebbs and flows of sexual energy
Turned into overwhelming waves
That made my spine arch upwards
And my eyes roll back.
The next thing I remember,
She had freed me from the four cuffs,
She had wrapped her arms around me
And she was nibbling slowly on my earlobe.
I took a deep breath, disoriented,
And the woman hummed with pleasure.
“Fucking you is something else.
I’ve never felt this close to someone,
Besides, you are the cutest as a girl.”
She planted soft kisses on my cheek
As her fingertips drifted over my abdomen.
The bedroom smelled of sex and pee.
I was dazed, and burning with shame.
I despised her for how she made me feel.
I couldn’t believe I had moaned like a girl.
I wanted to turn invisible, or disappear.
Was I really a man?
How could I have become so weak?
What I wanted most was to run away from her,
But I feared that she would find me again.
As I stared up at the ceiling
And listened to our hearts beating,
The woman sat upright and got off the bed.
She stretched and spoke brightly.
“Your tummy needs to be filled with solid food.
It’s been weeks since your last decent meal.
I’ll prepare you something for dinner,
But I warn you: I’m used to eating unhealthily,
Because preparing food bores me out of my mind.
That single dinner you made so lovingly for me
Has made me daydream about all the food
You’ll prepare for us for the many years to come.”
She left her torture chamber,
Abandoning me there naked,
Ashamed, sullied with dried piss.
My stomach did growl in hunger,
Likely because she had mentioned food.
I curled up on the bed,
While my mind tumbled over itself
About how I could escape.
Would she chase after me and kill me?
I knew I couldn’t rely on the police;
They would never believe I was a man,
Let alone a forty years old one.
The government may know about her work,
Which must have been classified,
So if they found out she had transformed me,
It may be convenient to make me disappear.
I sat up, but I kept shaking.
It hurt to move my limbs.
When I gathered enough strength,
I stumbled to the nearest bathroom
And washed the woman’s pee,
As well as her pussy juices,
Off my new, delicate face.
I avoided staring at the stranger
That the mirror insisted on showing me.
I plopped down on the toilet seat,
Because I was hyperventilating.
My heart was racing, my stomach churning.
I left the faucet running
So the sound would conceal my sobs.
I heard the woman’s words in my mind,
Mocking me because men shouldn’t cry.
I shuffled up to the kitchen,
And huddled against the door jamb
As if to hide my naked shame.
The woman has humming contentedly
While she filleted a mackerel at the counter,
Her back turned towards me.
She had tied up her hair in an elaborate ponytail,
And was wearing a cream-colored satin kimono
That barely covered half of her shapely thighs.
I found myself admiring the curves of her ass.
She turned around; her kimono was open,
And only partially covered the nipples
Of her firm, bare breasts.
She looked so delicious that I began to salivate.
I felt the blood rushing to my pelvis,
Although my body ached like it had been beaten.
The woman bit her lower lip
While she ogled the body she had created
As if she planned to eat me for dessert.
I gulped, and dared to speak.
“W-where are my clothes?”
“What clothes, baby?” she asked casually.
“T-the clothes I was wearing that night.
My wallet too, with my money and cards.”
The woman smiled patiently.
“Those clothes belonged to a dead man.”
A cold shiver ran down my spine.
I looked around as if to spot my stuff.
“I threw them out weeks ago,” she said,
“And besides, don’t I keep this house warm?”
I felt dizzy and weak.
“I-I need to wear something…”
“A pet doesn’t need to wear clothes.
Just one little, convenient accessory.”
She patted my shoulder as she passed by.
My ears rang while I stood there paralyzed
Until I felt her approaching me from behind.
She put a leathery band around my neck,
Then she fastened it carefully.
She fondled my ass as she kissed my ear.
“You only need a collar that identifies you
As your owner’s property,” she whispered.
There was no point in complaining.
My throat was dry, and I was trembling.
She took my stillness for consent,
Or I guess that she didn’t care,
And she kissed me on the lips
Until my mouth opened to let her inside.
It was a soft, gentle kiss
That made my whole body shudder.
I was in shock, I could barely focus my gaze,
As I sat naked on a dining chair
Next to the woman who had castrated me,
Who had made me feel things
For which I should hide in shame.
I was eating her miso mackerel with brown rice.
I ate it slowly and carefully;
It was tasty, but I mainly needed the strength.
I had to figure out how to steal some clothes
And escape out of her dungeon
Into the streets of this gloomy, rainy evening.
The woman was eating her fish.
Her fingers were dexterous and agile.
She sliced off every morsel,
And then she swallowed it down.
I kept glancing down at her exposed thighs,
At the fair skin that seemed to glow
In the light of the kitchen lamp.
I looked away, pretending to be absorbed
By the food on my plate,
But I could not stop thinking about sex.
My mind was filled with images of her pussy.
I was desperate to touch it, lick it,
To bury my fingers deep inside her
And fuck her as hard as I could
With the dick I used to have.
Whenever she stared at me from my right
I felt that she could read my thoughts.
My body seemed to crave her attentions;
It needed her touch, those tingles she caused.
“Are you enjoying your dinner?” she asked.
I gulped, the hairs on my nape stood up.
I nodded silently, and she stroked my head.
I wanted to suckle her tender nipples.
I wanted to crawl into her lap
And give her purple dick a blowjob.
I trembled under her smile.
“I’m so glad you’re enjoying being my pet.”
After we put the empty plates in the dishwasher,
For a while I tolerated her caresses and kisses.
“I need to do some stuff on the computer,”
The woman said as she fondled me,
“So keep yourself occupied, alright?
Don’t worry, you’ll be fully mine tonight,
As you will again and again.”
I couldn’t believe my luck,
That she would let me out of her sight.
I skulked naked around her house
Until I found the laundry room,
And a basket filled with her used clothes.
Before I knew it, I was sniffing her panties;
I craved the scent of her sweat and juices.
I chose a wrinkled blouse and manly trousers,
And I dressed myself with them to escape.
As I gritted my teeth, I unlatched the collar
And threw it furiously on the floor.
I sneaked silently up to the front door,
But I felt her sharp gaze piercing my nape.
There she was, with her hand on a door jamb,
As she watched me try to abandon her.
I had assumed I would face her fury,
But her gaze was soft, and worried.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
My muscles were trembling,
And I could barely breathe.
I waggled the door handle,
But although I tried frantically,
The woman had locked me in.
The woman produced her keychain,
Then approached me calmly
To place her keys on my palm.
I was sure she would mock my attempt,
That she would snatch her keys back,
Then prove her strength
By grabbing me by the neck
And chaining me again to her BDSM bed,
But she dropped her right arm
And offered me an understanding gaze.
I felt like an insect under a boot.
For me, she was as powerful as a god,
Armed with an alien determination.
“Y-you aren’t going to stop me?”
She smiled, and caressed my cheek.
“You think that I want a slave?
You are free to leave, and to decide
Whether you’ll belong to me or to the outside.
You’ve endured those streets for forty years.
You have sacrificed yourself to earn money,
Struggling and exhausting yourself endlessly,
And you devoted yourself to other women,
Suffering countless humiliations and defeats,
Only for everyone to abandon you in the end.
You have shed your skin, you can try again,
But you can choose us instead.
I will keep you warm and safe,
I will make love to you every day.
I can give you everything a girl wants.
Anything is possible in this world
If you have as much money as me.
You won’t have to work ever again.
All I ask in exchange, my pet,
Is for you to pleasure and comfort me.”
Her words made me tremble.
“I-I don’t need to be your sex toy,
Or a pet, or anything else…”
I said weakly,
But the woman’s smile broadened.
“I offer you the chance to be happy.
I know you hate being alone;
I understand how lonely you feel,
And I’ll give you the affection you need,
So please stay with me.”
I stared at her, dumbfounded.
I was speechless for a while,
And she kissed me tenderly
As if she feared it would be the last time
(Or like a mother to her child).
I considered her offer, I admit,
Then I recalled the weeks of torture,
And that she had killed my previous self.
I groaned, and turned around quickly.
I hoped to open the door in seconds,
And yet I fumbled with different keys
Until I found the one that fit in.
I was terrified of looking at her face;
I felt her standing right behind me.
I left the keychain hanging from the lock
As I pulled the door open and ran away.
The raindrops were falling on my face.
I reached the end of the one-lane road,
Then I scurried to a stretch of the street
That the streetlights weren’t brightening.
She hadn’t lied: I needed to recover,
Because I crumpled onto the pavement
As I struggled to catch my breath.
I wanted to forget the whole thing.
I was sickened by her cruelty,
And I was burning with shame.
I had a strong urge to run back home,
To crawl into bed and cry myself to sleep.
I could never tell anyone what she did to me.
My head was spinning, my chest was heaving,
I wished for the rain to wash away
All the humiliation and degradation
That monster had inflicted upon me.
I stood motionless in the rain.
I was unfamiliar with this street
Lined with alabaster white buildings.
I had no idea what direction to take.
I needed to get home, but did it exist?
I had been gone for weeks without paying,
So the landlord must had evicted me.
Even if I still could call that place my home,
I had lost my only set of keys,
And how would I convince that landlord
That I was the forty years old renter?
I felt too tired and weak to wander around.
I wished to call a taxi, but I couldn’t pay.
I couldn’t even afford to buy a water bottle.
How could I survive on my own?
I roamed around in a daze.
I was cold and wet, and I couldn’t help crying.
I passed by groups of young people jabbering,
And devoted salarymen that returned home.
Whenever I felt someone’s gaze upon me,
I looked away and walked faster.
I hoped to find a park, or maybe a shrine,
Where I could hide for the night,
But there was nothing nearby
Except a few small businesses.
I was just a stupid animal
Stumbling through the darkness.
My legs were burning,
My whole body shivered.
The night and its cold rain
Were hypnagogic hallucinations,
And I wished for my knees to buckle,
For my mind to finally collapse,
For the rain to seep through my pores
And fill my heart with rainwater.
Somehow I ended up under an awning,
Sitting on the pavement and hugging my knees
While the rainwater flowed around me.
I heard heavy footsteps approaching.
It was a big, middle-aged man with grey hair,
Who wore a coat and carried a shopping bag.
The streetlight behind him silhouetted his face.
“My goodness, what’s the matter, girl?
Why are you sobbing like a child?
Did someone attack you?”
When I felt his hand on my shoulder,
I gasped and flinched,
Then scrambled to my feet.
“Don’t touch me! Get away from me!”
My voice was shrill and hoarse.
I was freezing cold, running in the dark
When I tripped over something
And my chest hit the pavement.
I groaned in pain, rolled around,
Then hurried up to crawl under a bush.
I didn’t want anyone to see me.
I didn’t want to be known as a girl,
Or to have to explain why I was a girl.
I didn’t want anyone to realize
That I had been tortured and raped.
I wanted to die quietly, like a fish
That sinks to the bottom of the sea.
There was nothing to my name.
I didn’t even have one.
My wallet was gone, so was my phone.
I lacked an identity document, any history.
As far as this world was concerned,
I had never existed.
That woman could have locked me in a cage,
And no one would have searched for me.
I needed to start from zero.
I had to learn how to live again.
I had to make myself valuable.
I had to find a way to make money,
At least enough to feed myself,
But I also wanted a roof over my head.
I was never talented at anything.
I would end up relying on some stranger,
And those who would care would be men,
For whom I would be a pretty high school girl.
They would thrust their real dicks inside me.
I would become a sex slave to them.
It may had taken me an hour,
As I lost myself and nearly passed out,
Until I recognized that one-lane road,
And further ahead, the iron cast fence
Topped with medieval, sharp spikes.
I felt relief; this was my port in a storm.
I walked slowly, limping towards the gate.
The raindrops were hitting my face,
And I kept my eyes fixed straight ahead.
I was afraid of looking back
At what I left behind.
I stood in front of the buzzer,
But it took me a minute to press it.
Later I felt the woman’s presence
On the other side of the camera lens.
“So you’ve returned,” the woman said.
I could tell she was upset.
I was shivering, my eyes burned.
“Yes, I want… Please, let me in.”
She unlocked the gate,
And after I entered her yard,
I hurried to the front door.
When she appeared,
Her eyes gleamed in the dimness,
But her kimono was closed.
“You have turned into a wet stray.
You should have stolen an umbrella.”
My teeth were chattering.
I couldn’t verbalize what I needed.
The woman’s stare was sullen;
I had clearly disappointed her.
“I thought I would never see you again.
My heart can break too, you know.”
I felt that my heart was going to burst.
“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.
“P-please, can I come in, and be here?”
The woman sighed, but she grabbed my arm,
Which sent a warm shiver down my spine,
And pulled me in so she could close the door.
“Go to the living room. I’ll bring you a towel,”
The woman said as she avoided my gaze.
I obeyed. I wanted nothing else.
Once I entered the cozy living room,
I stood away from the carpet;
A puddle on the hardwood sounded better.
The woman returned, and threw me a towel.
She walked to the sofa and sat down.
My heart sank; I wanted her to dry me off.
I had failed her. Maybe she would reject me.
The inside of this home was so warm
So I could walk around naked,
As free as those mythical first humans
In their heavenly paradise.
I didn’t want to be out in the cold
With only my own strength.
I wanted to feel her arms embrace me.
Even if I had to sweat and bleed for it,
I wanted to feel her soft skin
Against my own.
She stared at me with severity
As she reached for a glass of wine
She had put on the coffee table
Next to the collar I had renounced.
“Speak,” she said. “Say it clearly.
Why exactly did you want to return?”
“I-I wanted to ask you, to beg you
To let me live here with you.”
Her nostrils were dilated,
Her eyes looked hurt and sunken
As if she hadn’t slept for days.
“Take off those wet clothes you stole,
And dry yourself off at once.
I don’t want you catching a cold.”
Seconds later I was naked like she wanted,
And I welcomed how she observed my skin.
I kept sniffling, and the next day I’d be sick,
But my heart already felt much warmer.
This house was where I was born,
And where I wanted to grow old.
Once I finished drying myself off,
She gulped down the rest of her wine.
“To beg properly, you have to kneel.”
“Yes, whatever you say.”
My knees sank in the carpet.
She loosened the knot of her kimono,
And the silky fabric slid open,
Revealing her firm, delicious breasts.
“What do you want? Say it clearly,”
The woman said in a low voice.
Between her knees,
I could finally see her slit:
A vertical, slanted eye,
With a hollowed eye socket.
“I want to be your pet,” I said.
Her eyes twitched, then glistened.
She licked her lower lip.
“Then prove it.”
I crawled up to her bare left foot,
And I slowly kissed her calf,
Licked her skin down to her ankle,
And sucked on each of her toes.
I was breathing hard,
My pussy was warm and wet.
I opened my eyes, and looked up.
Her face was flushed, her lips moist,
And her nipples stiff.
I reached for the collar.
As I stared into the woman’s eyes,
I put it around my neck
Then fastened it
Until it felt as if her two warm hands
Were wrapped around my throat.
“I am your pet, now and forever.
I will pleasure you and comfort you.
Please, take good care of me.”
The woman gulped and shivered,
Then scooted closer to the edge
So she could stroke my face.
“Do you know why you had to kneel?”
A cold ache shot through me,
And I hung my head low.
“Because I’m a pathetic, worthless beast
Who should have never been born.”
She was quick to lift my chin up,
And stared firmly into my eyes
As she spoke in an soothing tone.
“I won’t hear any more of such self-disdain.
You are a beautiful soul, inside and out.
You are kneeling because I’m your owner,
And there’s no shame in that.”
She pulled me up so I could straddle her thighs,
So close that my pussy touched hers.
She wrapped me in her arms, inside her kimono.
We made out like a couple of high schoolers
For so long that my mind dissolved.
I was in ecstasy, and I felt complete.
When she finally pulled away,
She bit my lower lip,
Then whispered in my ear.
“You are the most precious girl,
A perfect, loving pet.”
Her voice made my heart tremble,
Like she had spoken in a dream.
She held my head against her chest,
Where I smelled her breast sweat
As her hands slowly caressed me.
I was melting into her arms,
Her smooth skin, her firm tits,
The softness of her thighs.
A big yawn escaped from my mouth,
Which caused her to yawn as well.
“Poor thing,” she said,
“You need a good night’s sleep.”
She put me down and helped me stand,
Then she held my hand tightly.
“Let’s go to our bedroom,” she said.
Instead of leading me to her torture chamber,
She guided me up the stairs and down the hallway
Until we reached the master bedroom.
It was decorated in black or cherry red
Except for the main feature: a canopy bed
With a pillowy, purple comforter.
The woman pulled back the sheets,
Lay down in the bed,
Then held the sheets up
So I could lay down next to her.
Once my body rested beside hers,
She wrapped me with the comforter,
And then hugged me snugly,
Entangling her shapely legs with mine.
She let out a long, heavy sigh.
“My kitty-cat is so soft and warm.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.‘You Choose Who Owns You, Pt. 3’ by Jon Ureña
I was safe, untroubled, at peace,
And in mere seconds, my mind sank
Into the velvety oblivion of sleep.