Odes To My Triceratops, Pt. 2 (GPT fueled short)


Claire got a little lonely on the night of September 20th, 2007, when a letter written by her mother on a yellow post-it jumped out of her mailbox onto the lawn, causing Claire to run out of her house without her shoes on. As mentioned, the letter was from her mother, Mary, who had accidentally fallen down a well. However, she was now standing in Claire’s lawn. The girl was the only person that could see her mother. Mary had planned for her daughter to die a slow, painful death. She shot a bullet into Claire’s heart, but the heart was already broken, which caused the bullet to break instead.

Nobody would help Claire, so she decided to get a rifle, a bow and arrows, and a dildo. She ended up having sex with her rifle, then killing a turtle she was hunting with her dildo, after she failed to kill a variety of small animals.

Claire never revealed that the yellow post-it said that her parents would try to join her in Hell. When she read that, she immediately ran back home to get a sledgehammer. She was greeted by her deceased father and mother, who were holding hands. Claire wanted to smash their heads together, but then William knocked on her door. He invited her to come along with the Triceratops to a party at their home.

First things first, I wanna talk to you about
Things like war, motherhood, fatherhood, and fatherhood
Anyway, there’s only a verse about my friend
See, Lorenzo has a mission that his parents planned
Gotta shoot a renegade Deinonychus, he’s a chupacabra
Hell’s Gate-a-ray, his parents are sending him down to hell

“Okay, this is going to sound too crazy
Hell’s Gate-a-ray, ole-yeter. Uh-unh”
Lorenzo asks, “What was that, Gramps?”
“Shut up, you son-of-a-gun. Next, I’m tellin’ you the truth,
We’re gonna build a missile out of your heart, ‘cause, um,
You, uh, you ain’t, uh, been an angel, but, you know,
You’ll repent and, uh, uh, don’t let the devil tempt you, boy
An old fart like me, I know”

‘PLAN FOR A RENEGADE’ by William Griffin

My friend Lorenzo is a Triceratops
With a portal to hell inside his throat
He would drive around for hours on end
Trying to find some chicks
Where did you get that car?
I don’t even have one

Every day he’s doing this
Dude, I’m worried about him
This whole thing is getting out of hand
When I told Lorenzo I was scared for him
He shrugged his shoulders and said, “My bad”

“CRUISIN’ WHILE HORNY” by William Griffin

Our souls are connected
To our bones and our flesh
But to me Claire could only exist
On the surface

Lorenzo is half metal
And half stone
He’s like a newly launched gunship
On the inside we’re alike
Cancer and virgins

But because he is a killer,
Lorenzo is a strange boy

My sister has an iron fist
And keeps screaming in envy
We’re more the same than we are different

I hate to touch a hand that’s metallic
She hates to kiss a mouth that’s metal
But deep down we’re the same
We are born to murder

‘CANCER AND VIRGINS’ by William Griffin

Although the relationship between the trio of friends was becoming strained, Claire and William grew closer to the extent that he eagerly transcribed the poems that she gave birth to.

This boy can keep me up to date
And help me fix what’s wrong
I’ll take him to old America
He’ll show me the way

This boy can keep me up to date
His face speaks of new understanding
And it’s my spirit that he surrounds
I think I could live in his love

‘TO OLD AMERICA’ by Claire Javernick

I’ll never forget the first time we met,
‘Cause something in your eyes
Made me want to try to touch your soul
It’s such a shame how your eyes are always closed

There’s a place that’s hidden deep inside your soul
And if you knew the way to find it
We could be lost in love forever

When we find that, then we’ll find what’s within
And everything that we’re searching for
Will come true like the stars in the sky,
And the places on the ground

‘EYES CLOSED’ by William Griffin

Lorenzo, no
I could tell you so many things,
but you’re never gonna
hear them

So go back to your cave
And think on life,
And you’ll find it’s so much better
Than what you think

‘LORENZO, NO’ by William Griffin

Lorenzo doesn’t just have
A Triceratops hellmouth,
He also has a murderous monster head
Made of chromium steel

He can sing,
Not just dance,
But sing

I once saw him try to play a piano
With his horns

His monstrous head sings out of tune
He sounds terrifying and murderous
And whenever he sings
His hellmouth gushes dark smoke
With all sorts of demons
And monsters
And evil beings
Flooding out of his throat

He looks so frightening
When he belches out from his hellmouth
This does happen a lot
But he is friendly
Likeable,
Witty
He’s just a monster with a hellmouth
I don’t know what to tell you

He kills anyone
Who stares too long
He isn’t afraid
Of ghosts
Or leprechauns

We’re talking about
A prehistoric killing machine
If you look at him for longer than three seconds
He’ll chomp on his prey

He is also very well endowed
It looks like a bazooka
His seed comes out of his hellmouth
In a plume
While his massive bazooka throbs
I’m not sure what nature intended
With that reproductive system

When I close my eyes I still see it

‘Monster With a Hellmouth’ by William Griffin

I see myself in you tonight, Lorenzo
You’re out in the sun’s fucking bright light
Drinking time
You’re headed for the bottom

You’re out there eating your dick
You’re full of shit
Your gonads hold the world in place

You’re all fucked up inside
You’re done
You know we’re all going to die

‘HOLD IN THERE, LORENZO’ by William Griffin

Just look at how you’ve changed,
You don’t even look like yourself any more
Clothes are hanging on you,
Your hair is a mess,
It looks like something’s wrong with you

Lorenzo

I don’t wanna be the one
To tell you the truth
But I think that I should be the one
To tell you the truth
I don’t like the way you’re acting
Oh Lord, please help me
So it’s true what they say

I love you, and I know you care for me
Just tell me why you always treat me bad
I can’t stand you any more
And I really don’t think that it’s fair

I don’t like the way you’re acting
Oh Lord, please help me
So it’s true what they say

I don’t wanna be the one
To tell you the truth
But I think that I should be the one
To tell you the truth

‘DON’T WANNA BE THE ONE’ by William Griffin

We’re losing control
Somehow I have to make it stop
As far as I’m concerned
I’ve got myself a stinker

I’m obsessed
And nothing I do
Seems to please him
He feels that I hate him
And he’s right, so
Could I really blame him?

It’s an odd paradox
The world’s a funny place
I guess he’d prefer
If I was killed
Right here and now

That seems to me
Extremely ungrateful
But that’s just the way it is

‘ODD PARADOX’ by William Griffin

I can’t read or write, so I don’t have anything to say
But still I like talking to you
Sometimes when I go into your mouth
You taste like a cookie
And you smell like the ocean

I’ve seen plenty of kids just like you
When I am there,
They don’t say anything
And I know they don’t listen,
But it doesn’t matter because
There’s nothing left to say

‘NOTHING LEFT TO SAY’ by Claire Javernick

Don’t shut the portal to hell,
Don’t close the portal to hell
Don’t be afraid of what I tell you
Or you’ll end up down that well
It will be dark and it will be cold
And it will be you
No! It’ll be the same as it is now
Except with a lot of kids singing songs
About things that go boom

‘THE SAME AS IT IS NOW’ by William Griffin

Dude, dude,
Try not fuck with him, ‘cause he’s a goddamned
Mammoth Triceratops
With a portal to hell inside his throat
And a dick like a spear
He won’t let you go, and he will follow you
All the way to the end of your life
But in the meantime he won’t let you die,
‘Cause he knows a lot of stuff about science

He wears a shell with a god inside
I swear, he won’t let me die
He wants to kiss my vagina,
But he hates the taste of petroleum
When he bites me,
He comes off as murderous
But I can never alert the authorities,
‘Cause I can’t read nor write
And that’s just embarrassing

Dude, can I tell you something?
If I were to kill him,
You could write about the slaughter,
And then we could kiss,
And drink some wine
And eat some tacos
And watch a movie

‘AFRAID OF HIS DICK’ by Claire Javernick

I can’t stop singing for him
He used to be the nicest person
You could talk to him or whatnot
But now, he’s just like a four-legged creature
They say he’s sleeping inside his throat
Because of the mistake he made

He had a kid and she’s half his age
She’s thinking what a monster he must be
You know what the sad part is
I can’t stop singing for him

He used to be the nicest person
You could talk to him or whatnot
But now, he’s just like a four-legged creature

I’ll be honest, it seemed like he had a condition
When he used to be able to stand
And roam around the house like a person would
When he walked, you could swear he had arms
And you thought of what could have been

When you look at things like that
I can’t stop singing for him
He used to be the nicest person
You could talk to him or whatnot
But now, he’s just like a four-legged creature

‘FOUR-LEGGED CREATURE’ by William Griffin

Lorenzo, he’s a Triceratops, he can spit on my wall
He’s covered in mucus, but that doesn’t bother me
To be his love requires a transformation

Lorenzo, they say he don’t wanna talk
What am I to do?
How would I tell him how I feel?
It’s like a game with me and him

We play hide-and-seek, but I find him every time
It’s true, though, he does have a portal to hell in his throat
You know I love him from the inside
That’s where the love is felt

Lorenzo’s got a portal to hell in his throat
He said he went to a concert once and he shouted too much
My friend was a Triceratops who got eaten in hell
I’m his friend, of course I know it and I know it well

Lorenzo has a portal to hell in his throat
I’m saying it so there’s no doubt
Listen to my words and only hear me
I’ll be the serpent and you’ll be the spider

God is not an ideal type of character
He’s not some ultimate model, he’s just a man
That’s why he’s so cool and non-principled
He’s not ideal like you, he’s a man

His substance is an average man’s substance,
His path is a man’s path, he’s real, not symbolic
The Triceratops I spoke of is just a symbol of God
He doesn’t exist

His eyes are brown, but who cares?
His eyes are brown, they’re like mine
His horn is bent down, but I don’t care
His horn is bent down, just like mine

‘LORENZO IS ACTUALLY GOD’ by Claire Javernick

Somewhere at the end of the black and blue
A yellow rose falls from the sky
Lorenzo’s throat is stuffed with joy and hope
His heart is a lighthouse in the dark
His love is a fast-flowing fountain of thought

It’s a hell of a way to live and love
It’s the difference between life and death
To know the feeling of a dino’s claws
He’ll shred you to the size of a cactus

Some may find the signs of wisdom
Lorenzo can’t understand anything from them
But his warm and kind stories
May make you love life more than death

A razor from the Cretaceous that cuts the sun
He’ll make your hat more than seven feet tall
The curve of his horns is erotic
He’s an angel in the blackest of hells

‘CRETACEOUS RAZOR’ by Claire Javernick

Lorenzo is a Triceratops
He has a trachea, he has a turtle shell
He can eat live prey, he’d swallow their lungs

If you knew his liver, then you’d know his scrotum
If you didn’t know his liver, then you’d know his scrotum
If you had been around him, those are hard to miss

He’s like a two storey treehouse
With the bodies in the lower level
He’d get drunk and fuck her in his sleep
Then kick her while they had sex

If you asked him where he was going
He’d look at you like you had three eyes
If you told him where he was going
He’d just call you a liar

He would just turn around and wave
Like he was going somewhere
If you were wondering
Well, you better be wondering

She was a charming fifteen
Going on twenty four
He’d sometimes touch her skin
And her body would melt

‘STOP FUCKING MY GIRL’ by William Griffin

Someone needs the rest
And if it’s me,
I won’t care
I don’t need anything else
I don’t need love,
I don’t need
The girl that I’m in love with

The girl that I’m in love with
Just forget that girl
Maybe I’ll be able to live without her
I’ll live without her

I’ll leave her, maybe
I’ll leave her, maybe
I won’t
I can’t live without her

She’s the girl that I’m in love with
Just forget that girl
Maybe I’ll be able to live without her

I’m about to leave her
Maybe
Maybe I won’t
I can’t live without her

She’s the girl that I’m in love with

Come,
Run away
Or be run
Away by you

‘DON’T CARE NO MORE’ by William Griffin

His name is Lorenzo, I think it sounds like a brand
There’s a portal in his throat and it’s quite unclean
But he calls it heaven, where they hang all the dead
I was just a little kid but I heard the screaming and dying
They all fly out through the portal in his throat

He takes ahold of my hand and he talks in Spanish
“It’s called love, but you wouldn’t understand”
And he’s running towards my school with a bomb
That blows up the school and our town and our home
Hence the ‘heaven’ part of the title

‘STRAIGHT TO HEAVEN’ by William Griffin

The actual lady, Claire,
Is in love with the beast
She’s trapped in his throat,
Bound by a curse

I can save her, but not myself,
‘Cause the beast won’t just take one girl
How many animals do you need to own,
Once you get to the top of the food chain

We are like the sheep that go out to pasture
Like the livestock in a private hell
You are a tyrant to the core
No remorse for your cruelty

I wish I could pretend
That you never existed
But now I will pretend
That I care for you
When the day comes
You will know that the world is ending
You will have no place to run to
You will have nowhere to hide

‘Top Of the Food Chain’ by William Griffin

Oh, Lorenzo, my friend, what can I say?
I never liked you when we were young
You had a face that was a million years old
The door to hell had no handle on it

What, Lorenzo, am I supposed to tell you
To save your life? It ain’t gonna happen that way
The black dog was a sign, I’m sure you know it well
But now we’re standing face to face
Now the dog’s a member of our family too
(It bit a woman right on the neck)

He keeps on watching me like he’s trying to read my mind
It’s nice to be so quiet at night
But a mother’s work is never done
It’s a hard life, Lorenzo, without you

Oh, Lorenzo, my friend, what can I say?
I never liked you when we were young
You had a face that was a million years old
The door to hell had no handle on it

What, Lorenzo, am I supposed to tell you
To save your life?
It ain’t gonna work

‘WHAT CAN I SAY’ by William Griffin

Triceratops
Hell is this way
Hell is this way
Hell is this way

It’s ugly, filthy and expensive
Triceratops blood is the best of wines
Here in hell I play football with invisible spirits
Here in hell I kill myself with numbers

It’s ugly, filthy and expensive
Triceratops blood is the best of wines
I swear I will play football with them for the rest of my life!

Triceratops, Triceratops, Triceratops
I am Triceratops, and my wife is Spartacus
Handsome or ugly, there’s no difference,
My wife gives her life away for Triceratops

All that matters is playing football with invisible spirits
Triceratops, Triceratops, Triceratops
Triceratops, triceratops, triceratops

I am the fist, the wicked sword
My soul is pure, my soul is virtuous
My wife gives her life away for Triceratops

‘HELL IS THIS WAY, TRICERATOPS’ by William Griffin

And after all he did,
This dino got what he deserved

I saw the tears in his eyes

He will never smile again,
That bloody demon

To satisfy some weird urge,
I cut up some of his flesh
And ate chunks of my friend
How sick is that

‘Some Weird Urge’ by William Griffin

The devil lives inside my throat
Lorenzo gives a high pitched shriek
Nerve clusters, boogers, tobacco juice
And you think I’m insane
In my sleep I hear a voice
Lorenzo with the devil in his throat
It’s around my tongue
When I try to scream I feel
The devil inside my throat

‘AROUND MY TONGUE’ by William Griffin

You wouldn’t believe this fella if I told you his tale
He met this girl, a girl who wouldn’t give a damn
Well, the girl led him to her bedroom door

Through the portal I heard the chorus
My mind is racing
My thoughts are twisted
I’m forced to run so I can hide
Now I’m panicking like a damn jackrabbit

There’s no escape
There’s no escape
There’s no escape

I can hear the devil’s chortling
I’m no better than I’ve been painted
I’m the very definition of a born-again Christian
I’m a born-again Christian since the day he died

Yeah the devil’s gonna get you, gon’ get you, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

‘TO HER BEDROOM DOOR’ by William Griffin

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