This entry covers part of the eleventh volume of the original “Re:Zero” novels.
In the previous entry the protagonist got seriously annoyed with the people in his life, because they don’t hold memories of realities they haven’t lived through. Then the protagonist discarded his comatose girlfriend in favor of some delicious half-elf pussy.
It must be around seven in a chilly morning, and the sun rays are crashing against the canopy of the enveloping forest without warming the village properly. You are leaning on a wooden fence and staring down at the pond you saw Garfiel throwing bread into. You concentrate on observing those fish-like creatures swimming under the fern-colored surface of the water. Anything, really, that will take you away from the burning guilt in your chest that makes it harder for you to breathe. You feel as if there was something important you were holding onto but that you have lost, and even if you die and return to the past a million times, you won’t ever recover it.
“Ah, so you are here, Mr. Natsuki”, Otto’s lively voice sounds from the path behind you. “Enjoying an early morning walk? I guess there’s no real trouble with it, given that these people won’t attack us even though they restrain us in their village. Still, I’m sure it’s better to know where every one of us is!”
Your mood worsens, even though you know that Otto doesn’t have ill intentions towards you. You barely turn your head towards the side from where he’s approaching you.
“Did you come across me casually, Otto? Did you want to enjoy a morning walk as well?”
Otto puts his hands on the wooden fence a meter and a half away from you. Despite the merchant’s congenial voice, even before he got to look at your face he must have realized that something was wrong, although not in the way a physical attack on the people he likes is wrong.
“No, I usually avoid getting up early in the morning!”, Otto says with a smile and closing his eyes. “Often because I don’t want to handle the usual hangover. I’m feeling it a bit from last night… However, I’m not that comfortable in Sanctuary, so I suspect I’ll end up becoming a light sleeper if this continues.”
Noticing that you choose not to answer, and that your skin color probably looks as if you are a couple of minutes away from puking, he puts on a serious face and holds your gaze.
“Mr. Natsuki, you seem troubled. If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. I’ll just leave you alone. But if you feel like opening your heart, please allow me to hear it. Everyone has something they can’t bear within themselves.”
“That’s awfully nice for a merchant. Did someone put you up to this, finding me I mean?”
Otto chuckles dryly.
“I’m afraid so. Our lovely lady Emilia was asking for you. She seemed worried in a way that suggests unfinished business instead of fearing you would be found lying dead in a ditch, and because she has already blessed me with her trust, she asked me to please find you and make sure you aren’t acting wildly. Such a request coming from our princess herself, I could never refuse!”
You hang your head low. You don’t feel as if you deserve to hold even Otto’s gaze.
“Otto, I have fucked up real bad”, you say with a low voice.
“We all could tell you were troubled by something last night. Can you tell me what happened?”
“I’m the lowest of the low, Otto. Truly, I’m the worst scum in this dimension, as well of any dimension I’m aware. I hurt the most important person in my life, someone who can’t even defend herself, someone who relies on me to even remember she exists, and I betrayed her like this.”
“Can… can you tell me what happened?”
You turn towards Otto. You aren’t sure what face you are making, but he looks concerned. You swallow, then put your hands on the merchant’s shoulders.
“I did something to Emilia that I should have never done. A bunch of things, in fact. None of which should have happened.”
“It’s okay. Just take a deep breath and tell me.”
“No, it isn’t fucking okay, Otto…”, you say with a serious voice. “Emilia and I snuggled in bed, we kissed, I ate out her delicious pussy, and then I creamed inside of her.”
Otto’s eyes widen in shock. Then he forces a smile out of a corner of his mouth as if you are making a weird, tasteless joke.
“Surely you must be jesting! Lady Emilia is such a pure, proper princess, and the future ruler of this kingdom no doubt! Please, tell me what really happened!”
You squeeze Otto’s shoulders and shake him a bit. He goes paler.
“I wish I could, Otto. I would love to break into laughter and announce that I just made one of my many tasteless comments, but I can’t. I still feel the welcoming warmth of her pussy, that overwhelming, surprisingly sweet smell, and that warm nectar in my mouth that I would gladly drink instead of every other liquid for the rest of my life. I woke up this morning with the feeling of her pussy lips against the sides of my chin, and I almost took care of myself right then only to remember that it wasn’t another wet dream! I was lying in the dark next to the very Emilia whose delicious pussy I ate out hours before. I didn’t even brush my teeth, so I can still taste her in my mouth! I drank so much of it, too…”
“Stop! Stop! You are scaring me, Mr. Natsuki!”
You let go of his shoulders and hunch over to look at the grass.
“Sorry, I got carried away. But I got even more carried away last night is what I meant. I truly ravaged Emilia’s clit with my tongue, and she was overjoyed about it. After she came in my mouth, I broke through her hymen with my erect penis and then pumped into her until I filled her with my cum. She might be already pregnant for all I know.”
“Whaaaaa!? You can’t be serious!”
“But I am. She was a virgin. I was shocked too when she told me. A half-elf that hot. She was also very happy that she gave her virginity to me.”
Otto shakes his head. He’s breaking in sweat.
“No, Mr. Natsuki! It’s a misunderstanding!”
“A misunderstanding? Then you’re saying that I didn’t ravish our princess in Ryuzu’s guest bed last night? When I licked Emilia’s little button as the warmth of her pussy drenched my mouth and chin, was I eating some random fruit that had been lying around? When Emilia wrapped her arms and her legs around me, preventing me from escaping even as I was about to shoot a huge load of semen inside of her welcoming uterus, was I balls-deep into a barn animal instead? I assure you, there was no misunderstanding: I utterly fucked our half-elf last night, and her body might be already working on figuring out how it can build something resembling a human being from my rotten DNA!”
The merchant covers his face and takes a deep breath, terrified by your brutal and vivid words. He then speaks to you in a firm but calm tone.
“No… None of that happened.”
You lean forward and look at him.
“What? The fuck are you talking about, Otto?”
“I’m talking about the fact that you didn’t desecrate lady Emilia last night.”
You slowly lean back, as you attempt to process what he just said.
“What are you talking about then? I was there! I didn’t see it, because it was pitch black, but I felt every moment of it!”
“Well, you only felt what they wanted you to feel.”
You shake your head as you try to find the words. You couldn’t think straight already when you woke up, and now you fear you will start going along with whatever Otto means.
“Who is this ‘they’, Otto!? Who creates completely realistic simulations of me eating out Emilia’s pussy and then fucking her until I inseminate her!?”
Otto, wide-eyed, waves his hands in front of his face as if attempting to grasp something invisible.
“I don’t know. It’s magic, Echidna’s magic. Something to do with the barrier that surrounds the village.”
“What, there’s magic involved? So that Witch of Greed decided to mess with me and create this… this very realistic dream?”
“Ah… Well, Mr. Natsuki, the dream only encompassed those horrible acts you spoke to me about and that involved the pure lady Emilia! Everything else has been real.”
You smack your face with your palm.
“Of course it fucking was! Fuck, man. I have been so confused recently. Of course I didn’t lick Emilia’s delicious pussy until she filled my mouth with her warm juices, and later on I shoved my nasty penis inside her god-tier, tight pussy! That couldn’t have happened even in this fantasy world!” You fall to your knees, then lean forward slowly until you support yourself on the grass with your hands. “I never betrayed Rem, my lovely Rem, the love of my life, my blessed demon servant! I wouldn’t abandon you like that, my love. This all was a witch-created nightmare. I’m sorry for being such a horny scumbag.”
Otto pats you on the back.
“I’m not sure apologies will erase the images you pushed into my mind, Mr. Natsuki. And quite frankly… I don’t think any of us are worthy of lady Emilia’s love, even though I know I will forever dream of holding her smooth, delicate hand and walking with the princess through flower fields under the sun.”
You stand back up, and start walking towards the path. You are getting way too dizzy. Even if you don’t feel nauseous, you want to be, to throw up everything that hurts inside.
“Where are you going?”, Otto asks cautiously. “Shouldn’t we return to Ryuzu’s home? Lady Emilia wanted to know if you are okay!”
“I really need to piss right now. And I can’t hold it.”
“Well, just go behind a tree or something. Is there any other sort of public bathroom in that area of the village?”
“I tried pissing behind a tree. I really had to go, so I squatted down and my dick fell off. It’s still back there, behind that tree.”
Otto stares at you in confusion for a moment. You try to laugh, but you start crying. You fall to your knees again and sob to your heart’s content.
“My dick just goes away! It keeps leaving me. I didn’t deserve to have you, and now you have realized it as well. I wasn’t worth it.”
Otto awkwardly pats you on the back.
“I can’t imagine how much you must be hurting because your beloved is sleeping for… a long time. You should be thankful you had her. I think you should find someone new, like a pretty girl in this village. I believe anyone could get over the half-beast part quick. If there’s someone out there that loves you, even with all your problems, well, then that’s something worth being happy about.”
The tears are running down your wrists of the hands you are hiding your face with. You speak in between sobs.
“Back when my Rem was conscious, I should have cut my dick off and hidden it inside of her. That way my brain wouldn’t imagine me betraying her with almost every other female I come across! I wish I wasn’t a person, Otto. If I had been born a tree, life would have been so easy.”
“Do you really hate yourself that much? Even though I don’t know you that well, I don’t think you’re that sort of person. You seem like a realist to me. You just described to me the life of an average man in this world. Not everyone is blessed with gifts and abilities, and even if you have them, it doesn’t mean they’ll help you in the long run. I myself can speak to animals, and even insects! I was born with that blessing, or curse. But I can’t stop myself from hearing them! It made my childhood so hard! I ended up running away from home for issues related to such a condition.”
You stop crying and look up at him to figure out if he’s pulling your leg, but he holds your gaze with sympathy.
“You can’t hear animals, Otto. That’s pure nonsense. It’s a simulation that the Witch of Greed created to confuse you.”
“No, I swear I can hear bees buzzing right now! Maybe they’re trying to warn us about something…”
“Maybe you are just insane. Take a deep breath and relax.”
He breathes deeply in and out.
“I’m not insane.”
You nod slowly.
“Yes, I’m sure you are… Okay then, let’s go back to Emilia, so she knows she has no reason to worry.”
As you open the door to Ryuzu’s living room, Emilia alone is standing there with her hand resting on the back of a chair. She’s wearing her gorgeous, expensive-looking white dress lined with purple. She looks worried for a split second, but when she sees it’s you, she welcomes you with a glowing smile and walks up to you.
“Sorry to get worried, but… Well, let’s speak in private.”
As Otto, who was looking at Emilia with his usual smile that reveals his infatuation, opens his mouth to speak, Emilia strokes your cheek lovingly and then stands on her tiptoes to press her warm lips against yours. A noise of dismay escapes through Otto’s open mouth, but then she pushes a hand against it to shut himself up. He’s gone white and looks appalled, as if someone had stabbed him in the heart and he had wandered through the empty streets leaving a trail of blood, and now he sat against a wall waiting to die. He lowers his head and turns around.
“I-I’ll make myself scarce, lady Emilia.”
“Thank you for your understanding, Otto.” Emilia holds your hand. “Let’s go to the guest room.”
You nod and follow her. When the door is closed behind you, she sits on the bed and pats on it, expecting you to sit next to her. You do so, and with a hand she moves your face towards her to kiss you deeply. As her tongue plays with yours, the barriers that had protected you against the onslaught that the guilt was subjecting your sanity to break down, so the guilt comes flooding in like water through an emergency exit. Holy shit, you actually had sex with Emilia last night, and you truly drank the nectar pouring from the half-elf’s heavenly pussy. So you did spit on Rem’s comatose face. Even if she ends up waking up, you will never be able to take this back.
You are a horrible person. You are an evil, rotten piece of shit that deserves nothing but damnation, and that’s exactly what you’ll get for your sins.
Emilia has pulled away and is staring at your crying face. She’s dismayed. She hugs you tighly and strokes your head. Her warmth soothes you, and her remaining saliva in your mouth tastes so good you would have taken shots of it without even knowing her.
“I’m aware, Subaru. I can’t properly understand how bad you must feel about your relationship with Rem now, but it’s okay to feel guilty. You are so loyal and you love so deeply, that you would have ruined your entire life being the partner of someone who can’t even think about you anymore. Don’t worry, we will keep taking care of her. We’ll bring her along with us wherever we go, make sure she remains safe.”
You sniffle. You embrace Emilia again, pressing your cheek against hers, and you wait to speak until you are sure your voice won’t break.
“I loved so much eating you out, Emilia. Your pussy tasted so good, I thought I was in heaven. I wanted nothing more than to keep licking you for the rest of my life. And having you hugging me tightly like that, not wanting to push me away as I was about to fill you with cum… I fear falling so hard in love with you that I will forget about everyone else I’ve ever met.”
She caresses your head, and you feel her mouth smile against your cheek.
You pull back, surprised by her response.
“What do you mean ‘good’?”
She smiles more, now showing all her teeth.
“Because I feel the same way.”
You look down at her beautiful mouth, those moist, rosy lips. You hold her head with both hands and shove your tongue into her mouth. You both lick each other’s tongues slowly as your hands caress her graceful neck and her silky hair. The blood rushes to your head as you begin to breathe heavily. You push Emilia down and get on top of her, careful to not crush her with your weight. Emilia wraps her legs around you, and you can feel your bulge rubbing against her warm crotch through the fabric.
“I want so bad to be inside you right now”, you say with a dry voice.
Her gorgeous, flushed face looks a bit disappointed.
“We can’t now, Ryuzu was coming over to speak about the trials. I want it bad as well, but don’t worry, regardless of how I do at the trial tonight, us making love again will erase every pain.”
You take a deep breath, and wonder how you will get through that meeting while blue balled.
“Alright, but you better get that pussy ready, Emilia, because tonight I’m going to lick you dry.”
“I bet you will, Subaru.”
You get off of her and sit on the bed. She sighs pleasantly, then stands up and walks towards the door to leave the room first. You stare at her ass as it moves left and right with each step.
Despite the whole blackmailing thing, you can’t find fault in how this Ryuzu elf is taking care of your needs. After all of you gather in her living room, she prepares some delicious tea and cinnamon cookies. You get now why Garfiel refers to her as gran. You would end up calling grandma any person who treated you like Ryuzu, regardless of her age or gender. Otto is present, but he looks as if she wishes he could disappear. He’s hunched over while holding his teacup with both hands, and his unfocused gaze looks through the table. At some points you could swear he was about to drool.
Emilia, who is holding your hand on her thigh, explains that despite her failure at passing the first trial, she’s determined to try over and over until she succeeds. Ryuzu looks concerned, having heard Emilia’s cries and having witnessed her delusional state.
You clear your throat.
“Emilia, everyone, I’d like to suggest an alternative. I will pass the trials so Emilia doesn’t suffer.”
The half-elf turns her head towards you sharply. You are surprised by the dismay in her face, as if she hadn’t expected those words coming from you.
“What do you mean, Subaru? Don’t you risk yourself for me, not anymore!”
“As if I will stop doing that. Are you kidding me? Now more than ever!”
“How are you so sure you would be able to pass them anyway?”
Garfiel tsks, then takes a sip of his tea like a gentleman.
“Evil eyes passed the first trial when he ran inta that tomb to rescue ya, princess. Half-pint got ta visit his parents an’ all! Nice, smooth ride, ain’t it? So yeah, he thinks the rest of them trials will turn out to be that easy.”
Emilia looks at both of you, confused.
“It’s true, lady Emilia”, Ryuzu says calmly. “Your knight rushed into the tomb caring nothing about his own safety, and he carried you out so we could return back home and place you on the guest bed. Of course, at the moment he entered the antechamber, because the magic traps didn’t kill him for some unknown reason, his trial began. He already surmised that maybe our lady of Sanctuary wouldn’t accept his efforts if she considers him too boring, though. I have my doubts that she would reject him.”
“Forget ‘bout that. Ya ain’t gonna pass the trials, half-pint”, Garfiel says, annoyed.
“What do you mean?”, you ask.
Emilia shakes her head and intercedes. Her voice sounds troubled.
“No, I’ll do it. I promised I would do this!”
You turn your torso on the chair to stare into her eyes properly, and you hold her hand with both of yours.
“I love you, Emilia. I don’t want you to suffer any longer. That trial will force you to face your past, and in other circumstances it would be valuable to work slowly through everything that went wrong in your cute life. But for now the past is the past, and we need to cherish the present and future.”
You realize that both Ryuzu and Garfiel are looking at you confounded.
“Ya love the shy princess, huh?”, the punk asks, between embarrassed and amused. “Poor bastard, that escaped yer mouth! Can’t take that back now!”
Emilia blushes, but she clears her throat and smiles at the blackmailers.
“He said it freely because there’s no need to hide it. I love him as well. We are a couple.”
The room falls silent. Hearing someone as great as Emilia, so elegant and beautiful, royalty no less, declare her love for you… This must truly be one of Echidna’s simulations.
Garfiel snaps his head back, wide-eyed, and his hand drops into his tea the cookie he was holding. Ryuzu chuckles and claps once.
“That’s great”, Ryuzu says with a smile. “I hope that true love helps you get through the trials, lady Emilia. I figure it must improve your chances quite a bit.”
“But I said I wanted to pass them in her place, though”, you remind them, then turn to Emilia. “My dear Emilia, you don’t remember any of the contents of the trial you went through, right?”
She’s surprised, and observes your expression with her trembling purple pupils as if she had missed something along the way. Then she gets sad.
“That’s true… I can’t remember any of it.”
“Then you will face the trial over and over without learning anything about the previous attempt! That’s a recipe for utter disaster, Emilia! I can’t have my lovely woman going through that nightmare.”
Emilia frowns slightly, looking like a rebellious child, but as she opens her mouth to speak, Garfiel speaks loudly and seriously, startling you both.
“Nah, ya ain’t gonna attempt to pass them trials again, half-pint.”
“Garfiel, you don’t tell her what to do”, you say while washing down your cookie with a gulp of tea, “Apologize to the princess.”
He grimaces in annoyed confusion, then shakes his head and flashes his sharp, triangular teeth.
“Haah!? Ain’t gonna confuse me! Yer the half-pint, evil eyes! I’ll repeat meself again, ‘cause now I ain’t even sure if I said it right! Hot princess will try to pass them trials, not ya!”
“Hey, she’s my hot princess. Have some respect.”
Garfiel narrows his eyes and tilts his head.
“I’ll say whatever I damn want, half-pint! Ya ain’t even addressin’ whut I just said! Don’t tryna pretend ya didn’t hear me!”
Emilia had lowered her head and closed her eyes, but she straightens her back again to speak up.
“Please, don’t fight anymore.” She turns towards you and raises her hand to her chest. “Subaru, I understand and appreciate how worried you are about me, but I don’t want you to coddle me. I can’t give up just because the trial will be hard, just because it will hurt me. So many trials await me in the future, on the path to sitting on that throne… You can’t keep saving me from struggling by myself.”
Although she had said it sweetly, with an understanding voice, your heart hurts because she took your concern that way.
“Emilia… What if you never pass the trials?”
“Then I’ll try again. And again. And again. And again, until I do.”
“That’s not the point…”
You sigh, and scratch your head. As you look up at her beautiful purple eyes again, for a split second you recognize a look in her eyes, a strength you could say, that she must have gotten from her adoptive father Puck. A determination to get over the past and become stronger, to achieve greater things than she ever has before. Unfortunately regarding her attempts at passing the trials, she also inherited Puck’s uselessness.
The meeting finishes shortly after. Garfiel and Ryuzu leave the house and walk further into the dreary village with a destination only the both of them know. You excuse yourself from Emilia and Otto, although the merchant hasn’t opened his mouth nor reacted to anything, and you run up to the couple of blackmailers as they turn a corner on the path and disappear past a farmhouse. When both of them hear your quickened footsteps, Ryuzu turns calmly, but Garfiel gets startled and glares at you as if you are about to stab him.
“Haah!? Ya followin’ us now, half-pint?”
“Young Garf, please don’t be rude”, Ryuzu says calmly, looking up at the punk. “I’m sure he just wants to bring up the topic again, but without the lovely lady Emilia having to hear it.”
“That’s right, Ryuzu. I want to know why you find it unreasonable. Listen, you know I passed my trial without any significant damage to my psyche, but Emilia got traumatized from her attempt, and due to not being able to remember the details, she can’t learn anything! So why would you be against me taking her place?”
Ryuzu looks down inside of her coat to consider your words, and the neck of her coat hides even her nose. She then holds your gaze again with an incongruously intelligent expression for a twelve year old looking girl.
“How powerful do you believe me to be, Young Su?”
“I dunno, but I’m sure you’re more powerful than you look, which is very little. Not to disparage you or anything. Garfiel did say that you have been around for a long time, and I suppose that magical abilities could be hidden easily. That staff you hold most of the time also looks wizardly, but real wizardly, not like our retarded village chief. Still, I’m not sure where you are getting at.”
“It’s a simple answer. I am powerful in Sanctuary, but our little village is contained within a much larger domain that belongs to someone far more powerful than myself.”
“Then that someone is so powerful he can easily crush you whenever he wants, correct?”
“Well, yes, but we are not fearing that kind of retribution at the moment, nor should we for the forseeable future. My point is, Young Su, that Emilia has been chosen to pass the trials because Roswaal needs her to prove herself. It will add clout to her ambition to sit on the throne of a larger domain that contains others of the size of Roswaal’s. So although I believe you are acting out of love and I was personally moved by it, we cannot let you take this chance from her.”
“And yer doin’ this behind that clown bastard’s back”, Garfiel says while pointing at you. “We let ya, them consequences will splash us. We got enough crap ta deal with! Too much of a mess.”
You want to say that Roswaal himself proposed that you passed the trials and credit Emilia, but what if these two blackmailers learn of the lord’s plot and they end up revealing it to third parties? The whole attempt to credit Emilia would turn against her. Or maybe any of these two are informants of some kind. You hide your face with your hands for a moment. You want nothing of this political crap.
“Whenever Sanctuary ceases to be a cage, Young Su,” Ryuzu says, “it will be reabsorbed entirely into our lord’s domain. We need to remain in the best of terms with lord Roswaal. It’s just in everybody’s best interests. Please, trust a bit more in your beloved’s strengths.”