In case you don’t know, I recently released an album (of actual songs) named Odes to My Triceratops, Vol. 1, based on the nowhere-town adventures of amateur songwriter William Griffin, his blind love interest Claire Javernick, and his best friend the sentient triceratops Lorenzo (no last name), back when they were 12-14 years old. You can download that album here.

I’m slowly “remastering” the songs belonging to the second album in order to release it, but I came up with another song for the third volume. It’s titled “Paleontology of Pain.” An unholy, possibly illegal mix of dance punk, surf rock, and cajun music.

Lyrics below:

You’re just another person
As stupid and ugly as the rest,
But I’m gonna tell you my tale,
And if you laugh, I’ll tear you to shreds.

I used to know a dinosaur
Of ancient stock,
With horns as big and thick
As an ogre’s cock.

Lorenzo could have stayed
A creature of the Earth,
But the fiery heart that burned within
Never let him be still.

He needed help, but no one gave it to him.
Whoever offered would have gotten hurt.
Besides, who knows how to treat a goddamned dino;
They went extinct millions of years ago.

Even now, I see him lying on the ground
With a hole in his throat
That kept on pouring smoke.
He was crying, “Don’t leave me!
Don’t leave me here alone!”
But I was already gone.

In case you don’t know, I recently released an album (of actual songs) named Odes to My Triceratops, Vol. 1, based on the nowhere-town adventures of amateur songwriter William Griffin, his blind love interest Claire Javernick, and his best friend the sentient triceratops Lorenzo (no last name), back when they were 12-14 years old. You can download that album here.

I’m slowly “remastering” the songs belonging to the second album in order to release it, but I came up with another song for the third volume. It’s titled “Go Away, Stay Away.” Young-adult William no longer sees magic even in what seemed to be full of it.

Lyrics below:

I’ve lived in this town since I was born.
There are lots of trees, but only three parks:
The Park of the Statue of a Woman,
Where there’s a statue of a woman;
The Park of the Broken Glass,
Where you’re likely to step on broken glass;
And the Park of the Dead Dog,
Which is just a very nice park.

Claire’s house was always a mess:
Plates in the sink, clothes on the floor.
I doubt she ever washed her sheets.
It all smelled like mold and musk,
But I took it as her natural scent,
And I never complained.

There’s a sign on my door,
That says, “Go away.”
I don’t want to have a heart;
I’d rather be a rock,
And thump people’s domes
With myself.

Go away, stay away from me.

In case you don’t know, I recently released an album (of actual songs) named Odes to My Triceratops, Vol. 1, based on the nowhere-town adventures of amateur songwriter William Griffin, his blind love interest Claire Javernick, and his best friend the sentient triceratops Lorenzo (no last name), back when they were 12-14 years old. You can download that album here.

I’m slowly “remastering” the songs belonging to the second album in order to release it, but I came up with another song for the third volume. It’s titled “Vicious Creatures,” and goes on about William’s intentions to reconcile with his troublesome nature.

Lyrics below:

We are vicious creatures,
All of us violent and wild.
You taught me that lesson:
I’m not an exception.

Hi! My name is William Griffin.
I’m an eighteen-year-old monster.
I made my best friend go beddy-bye
For like a long, long time,
And chewed on his heart.
(Fucking delicious, by the way.)

Alcohol in the bloodstream,
Sombrero on my head.
My dick’s a machine gun.

Here’s to you, Lorenzo,
The dino with a throat full of hell.
And here’s to Claire,
A hot blind girl
Who’s got her own portal to hell
Right between her legs.

Let’s drink to ourselves,
To the monsters we are,
To this weird fucking world.
It’s all one and the same.

In case you don’t know, I recently released an album (of actual songs) named Odes to My Triceratops, Vol. 1, based on the nowhere-town adventures of amateur songwriter William Griffin, his blind love interest Claire Javernick, and his best friend the sentient triceratops Lorenzo (no last name), back when they were 12-14 years old. You can download that album here.

I’m slowly “remastering” the songs belonging to the second album in order to release it, but I came up with another song for the third volume. It’s titled “Burying the Beast.” A garage rock song about William moving on from pitying himself to hatred toward others.

Lyrics below:

Lorenzo was a big ol’ triceratops,
A sort of prehistoric water buffalo,
A devil’s spawn with hatred in his heart
And a God-awful nightmare in his throat.

He smelled of piss and old garbage.
He had a penis as long as a man’s leg.
When he walked the town’s streets,
People got out of the fucking way.

Lorenzo ripped away my innocence:
He stole my girlfriend,
And contaminated my heart.

So I shanked the son-of-a-bitch in the neck.
Blood squirted all over like a sprinkler.
As I buried that damned beast,
I thought about Claire, but…

Why should I worry about that bitch
Who cheated on me and took away my life?
She knew what she was doing
When she spread her legs for a fiend.

Lorenzo fell in love with her too.
Claire smiled at him so beautifully.
She was a looker. Caused a war.
I had dreamed she’d be my wife.

Anyway, Claire’s gone:
Lorenzo killed her, poor girl,
Or at least I imagined he did
To forget how she stared at me then.

Forget the girl, forget the snake.
I put Lorenzo in his grave,
And if the pressure gets too great,
I’ll drive up there with a shovel,
And let the big bastard out again.

See you in hell.

In case you don’t know, I recently released an album (of actual songs) named Odes to My Triceratops, Vol. 1, based on the nowhere-town adventures of amateur songwriter William Griffin, his blind love interest Claire Javernick, and his best friend the sentient triceratops Lorenzo (no last name), back when they were 12-14 years old. You can download that album here.

I’m slowly “remastering” the songs belonging to the second album in order to release it, but I came up with another song for the third volume. It’s titled “The Girl From This Town.” An Appalachian folk song about nostalgia creeping into the grieving William.

Lyrics below:

Lorenzo was the dino from out of town
That everybody knew.
Lorenzo was the dino from out of town,
And he was gonna stay a while.

Claire and him, well, they made a deal
To see what they were made of.
They ate, they drank, and they screwed
In good times and in bad.

When Lorenzo was a child,
He dreamed of finding a girl as stupid as him,
And having three kids together.
Lorenzo didn’t even have a last name.
He would have taken Claire’s.

I’m not talking.
I’m not being a person.
I’m barely breathing.

I wanna wake up at the ass of dawn
Next to the girl of my dreams,
To the sound of chirping birds,
To the sight of a blinding sun.

Claire was the girl from this town,
The girl from this town,
The girl from this town.
She was supposed to stay.

In case you don’t know, I recently released an album (of actual songs) named Odes to My Triceratops, Vol. 1, based on the nowhere-town adventures of amateur songwriter William Griffin, his blind love interest Claire Javernick, and his best friend the sentient triceratops Lorenzo (no last name), back when they were 12-14 years old. You can download that album here.

I’m slowly “remastering” the songs belonging to the second album in order to release it, but I came up with another song for the third volume. It’s titled “Meat Man.” The considerably more reflective sequel to the first volume’s “I’m Cactus.”

Lyrics below:

My cactus died weeks ago,
But I’m trying hard
To wake it up with words,
Wake it up with songs,
Wake it up with violence,
Wake it up with raw meat.

There’s no waking a dead cactus.

The silence is almost ominous.
I should get myself a pet bird.
I’ll sing it the words I couldn’t speak,
And all the songs I never wrote.

Look at me, birdie,
And tell me what you see.
Am I a human being,
Or a pile of shit?

In case you don’t know, I recently released an album (of actual songs) named Odes to My Triceratops, Vol. 1, based on the nowhere-town adventures of amateur songwriter William Griffin, his blind love interest Claire Javernick, and his best friend the sentient triceratops Lorenzo (no last name), back when they were 12-14 years old. You can download that album here.

I’m slowly “remastering” the songs belonging to the second album in order to release it, but I came up with this new song, titled “Sadtown Train.” An ode to my oldest friend.

Lyrics below:

Sadtown Train’s coming down the track.
(All aboard! All aboard!)

Have you ever ridden the Sadtown Train?
Oh, you haven’t? Lucky bastard!
One day you’ll board that train,
But for now, consider yourself blessed.

The seats are wooden, the windows dirty,
The lamps dim and flickering.
A magic train so wide and so long,
It seems to take up the whole world.

You can hear its massive engine
Growling in the dark and cold,
Pumping all its power to drag along
The endless cargo of souls.

If you want to find me,
I’m on the Sadtown Train,
Just watching the countryside go by,
Not knowing where it ends.

In case you don’t know, I recently released an album (of actual songs) named Odes to My Triceratops, Vol. 1, based on the nowhere-town adventures of amateur songwriter William Griffin, his blind love interest Claire Javernick, and his best friend the sentient triceratops Lorenzo (no last name), back when they were 12-14 years old. You can download that album here.

I’m slowly “remastering” the songs belonging to the second album in order to release it, but I came up with this new song, titled “A Blind Girl’s Curse.” It’s the current opener for the third (and last) volume of Odes to My Triceratops. I quite like it.

Lyrics below:

I met Lorenzo a long, long time ago.
Now he must be engulfed in flames.

Last week, Claire faced me again.
She’s blind, but she could see.
The way she stared at me,
I was sent straight to hell.

Claire’s home is empty.
She took my warmth with her.

She’s a seventeen-year-old slut
With no clue how to read or write.
One day, she claims to love you.
The next, she goes and kills you.

I like boys, I like boys,
I like boys, I like boys,
I like boys, I like boys,
I like boys, I like boys,
I like boys, I like boys,
I like boys, I like boys,
I like boys, I like boys,
I like boys, I like boys!