Before I enter the kitchen, the bitter scent of freshly brewed coffee wafts into my nose, mixed with the aroma of browning batter sizzling in a frying pan. Jacqueline, clad in her burgundy silk robe with wide and flowy sleeves, stands at the stove, cooking a batch of pancakes. The high-gloss cabinetry under the counter reflects her pair of toned legs, that end in pink slippers. Seated at the table, past the fruit bowl centerpiece that adds a splash of organic color, Nairu has hidden her face in a dinosaur picture book, ignoring the glass of milk set in front of her.
Jacqueline welcomes me with one of her disarming smiles.
“There you are, darling.” She slides a spatula beneath the frying pancake and skillfully flips it onto the pile on a plate. After withdrawing the spatula, she points it in the direction of the coffee maker at the end of the counter. “Your morning boost awaits.”
As I start to move, Nairu lets out an anxious cry universally understood as, “Wait, let me do it.” She puts down her book, hops off the chair, and hurries to grab the coffee mug from the dip tray. When she turns, her grinning face, framed by messy chestnut hair, greets me. Her amber eyes hold a depth of stories untold, the memory of a world that only she remembers. She’s wearing pajamas striped in mustard yellow and cream, patterned with cartoon pigs, bears, and whales amid five-pointed stars.
“That’s a smile of pride,” Jacqueline says. “Just by watching me, she figured out that she had to pick a fresh capsule from the dispenser, put it in, wait for the machine’s ready light, then push the button to brew. Isn’t it amazing? I might be biased, thinking of our lovely girl as a genius, but you may have come upon a prodigy of her time.”
I could comment that humans have been anatomically modern for hundreds of thousands of years, capable of formulating the same thoughts and learning the same skills. And I’m no different: I follow Jacqueline’s instructions, hardly understanding what magic transmogrifies those capsules into the dark, bitter, caffeinated nectar that I can’t live without. Yet, even if Nairu had handed me a pebble instead of this coffee mug that warms my palms, I’d be moved too, longing to wrap our girl in a tight hug until I risked smothering her.
“Thank you, Nairu,” I say in a choked voice, “for wanting to improve my day.”
“Alright, pancakes done,” Jacqueline announces. “Sit down, mes chéries.”
When mommy lifts the towering plate, Nairu’s eyes widen, and she scurries back to her seat. I turn toward mine across from our Paleolithic child, but I’m drawn to the sight of the stainless-steel refrigerator, whose door displays a collection of drawings attached with magnets. The pictures, rendered in crayon, depict bears, mammoths, ground sloths, a triceratops, pines, pastries, a stop sign, a bus, the Mount Igueldo tower, Jacqueline and me holding hands. At the rate we’re accruing drawings, we will need to rent a storage unit.
As I lower myself into the chair, my sore body complains. I don’t know how my hip remains intact with the poundings I receive. The culprit, Jacqueline, has set down the stack of golden-brown pancakes, their edges darker and crisp. I lift the mug to my lips and take a gulp. A lazy fire spreads in my stomach, chasing away the chill of the early morning, the creep of age. Coffee and freshly-cooked pancakes: a classic breakfast that every human from the Paleolithic through history can enjoy.
Jacqueline spears the top two pancakes with a fork and slides them onto Nairu’s plate. Mommy picks up the syrup and chocolate bottles.
“What do you want to top the pancakes with, mon bébé?” She holds up the plastic bottles, exaggerating her gestures to bridge the language gap. “Syrup, or chocolate?”
A giggle bubbles up from Nairu’s throat before she jabs her finger at the latter bottle.
“Chocolate!”
I serve myself a couple of pancakes, then reach for the syrup bottle while Jacqueline keeps busy browning Nairu’s treat further. As I pour the viscous amber, it settles in glossy, deflating puddles on top of the first golden disk, and trickles down the sides to pool on the plate.
I slice through the pancake, the fork gliding effortlessly, and scoop up a fluffy, syrup-drenched piece. I take a bite. My mouth floods with the caramel-like flavor of syrup, blended with those of vanilla and nutmeg.
Outside, bird chirping announces the imminent birth of a new day, that for those avian fiends will be comprised of confusion, mating rituals, and a frantic search for food to feed themselves and their helpless hatchlings. In our kitchen, I hear the clatter of cutlery on plates, vocalizations like “mm-hmmm,” and gentle glugs. At times a dog’s bark, or the rumble of a car’s engine, filters through the balcony door to remind me that we aren’t alone.
Dollops of chocolate have landed on Nairu’s pajama shirt in blots and streaks. Her lips, chin, and nose are smeared with the sticky substance, while her cheeks bulge as if she has stuffed herself after starving for days. Suddenly, her eyes clamp shut, and violent convulsions seize her small frame. Out of her mouth shoots a rainbow-hued gush that splatters onto the table, the stack of pancakes, the fruit bowl, my own breakfast. Solid forms, the size of action figures, have surged with the flood and bounced off the table, the plates, the fruits, or the spongy pancakes: woolly mammoths, mastodons, stag-moose, ground sloths, giant beavers, saber-toothed cats, short-face bears. Some of the miniature beasts lie injured or dead; others stagger to their feet, waddle around in a daze, or shake their shaggy, sodden pelts, flinging rainbow-colored droplets everywhere.
Hunched over, I prop my elbows on either side of my plate, and rub my temples in circles to dispel the vision. My heartbeat has accelerated, my stomach churns ominously. Jacqueline, seated along the long side of the table, reaches over to enfold my right hand in her own.
“Are you alright, mon amour?”
I straighten up and lower my hands. My gaze falls upon an ivory nightgown framed by the V-neck of her burgundy robe, and adorned with lace trimmings in a floral pattern. The silky fabric, that must glide over her skin like a lover’s fingers, clings to mommy’s tantalizing cleavage.
“I had one of my moments,” I say, “but I feel fine already.”
Nairu, engrossed in her dinosaur picture book, pushes a piece of pancake into her mouth. Her striped pajamas remain unspoiled.
Jacqueline caresses the neckline of my cardigan, tracing the stitching.
“I must say, you’re looking quite chic today.”
“Yeah? Says someone who could wear a potato sack and still enchant. Anyway, I can’t rely on hoodies forever. I would have preferred to wear a T-shirt emblazoned with the words, ‘Let’s kill our boss,’ but alas, I haven’t dared to order such a customized garment.”
Jacqueline knits her eyebrows in worry.
“Let’s focus on staying out of trouble, shall we? You’ve been carrying more tension lately when it comes to work. Is… our boss putting extra pressure on you?”
I take a deep breath as I run my fingers through my hair. I’m no closer to figuring out what machine I’m supposed to destroy before it rips the universe apart, but I won’t ruin the sanctity of this family by bringing the apocalypse into our dynamics: I must shoulder the responsibility alone.
“No, I’d say he’s burdening me with the usual amount of pointless programming tasks.”
“But you can offload some of them on Jordi, can’t you? How are you two getting along these days?”
I get a flash of that intern of ours, with his ever-neat red hair and glasses, always dressed in a self-imposed uniform of crisp white shirts and tailored black trousers. His youthful, freckled skin, along with that habit of referring to me as his senior, makes me feel as if I should start collecting a pension and oiling my knees, or whatever the hell old people do. But I’d rather not spend my spare time dwelling on Jordi any more than I would on the office furniture.
“Now that I’m getting acquainted with that ravishing Irish form of yours, the epitome of redheads, every other redhead should have spontaneously combusted in shame.”
Although Jacqueline laughs, my body stiffens and my eyes widen in panic as I glance at Nairu, who’s unaware of Jacqueline’s shapeshifting. Our antediluvian wonder is taking a long draught of milk. When she puts the glass down, she licks away her milk mustache while her gaze darts back and forth between her mommies.
Jacqueline props her chin on the heel of her palm.
“One of these days we’ll need to be careful with our words around Nairu, but I’m afraid that day is a long way off.” She straightens up and lets out a squeak of delight. “You’re so cute, mon petit ange!”
Jacqueline scoots over to cup Nairu’s face and smooch her, prompting a fit of giggling from the girl.
In this morning of pancakes and mammals surging from a mouth, a comet-like flare is forming within me.
“Anyway, Jordi is decent enough. I’d prefer if he didn’t exist, but I think that of most people. It’s always been a struggle to care about anything, to feel connected to anyone, even myself. These days, though, whenever I’m chained to my computer at work, I find myself thinking about you and Nairu, hoping you’re enjoying yourselves. That makes the world keep spinning even when it’s crumbling apart.”
Jacqueline’s smile fades into a thoughtful expression. She scoots toward me and reaches for my hand, but my cellphone vibrates in the pocket of my trousers and starts playing Chopin’s Nocturne, the second alarm of the morning. Time to make it through another day in this harsh, unforgiving universe without going insane.
Once I silence the alarm, I gulp down the remainder of my coffee, then put the mug in the dishwasher. Nairu calls out “Eide,” the name she baptized me with, drawing attention to her picture book. A double-page illustration depicts a herd of diplodocus, their long necks swaying as they cross a stream. She pokes and babbles at one of the flesh-and-bone catenaries that end in a head with a slender snout, a narrow jaw, and lateral eyes.
“Yes,” I say. “Can you believe that millions of years ago, some creatures were even more astonishing than your Ice Age marvels? You know, my first memory was of waking up after a surgery. During the hospital stay, my mother bought me a plastic triceratops. It seemed magical. I wonder what happened to it…”
Nairu’s cheeks dimple in a pure smile. Her amber eyes are alive with a spirit that never dims.
I ruffle her chestnut locks tenderly.
“Goodbye, ma fille.”
Nairu waves back at me as Jacqueline, her hands on my shoulders, steers me toward the front door.
From now on, until that one day when the end comes, how many times will our family sit around a table to share a meal? Once Nairu masters the language, how will she take to learning board games? The three of us, in competitive or cooperative formats, will run a zoo, colonize Mars, evolve our ancient civilizations, build our post-apocalyptic nations, fight against eldritch horrors. As cyberpunk runners, blazing through corporate servers while evading countermeasures, we’ll finally defeat Shadowcluster.
“I never heard of that memory before,” Jacqueline says warmly.
“Well,” I push through my constricted throat, my voice a raspy whisper, “I don’t like to remember things.”
I open the front door. Jacqueline cups my face and wraps my mouth in a chocolatey, syrupy kiss. When she pulls back, her cobalt-blues shine through the ivory-white blur of her features.
“Remember that, Leire. We’ll be here when you come back.”
The door closes with a thud behind me. Alone in the gloom of the landing, I start descending the stairs, but my legs feel unsteady enough that I grab hold of the cold handrail. My heavy footfalls echo in the stairwell, mingling with a muffled conversation coming from some apartment.
As I turn a corner, a liquid drips on my right hand. I stop and glance up; no ceiling leaks, none that I can see in the dim light. Warm streams are coursing down my cheeks. One trickles over the curve of my upper lip and slides into my mouth. It tastes salty.
I’m neither depressed nor miserable. So why am I weeping?
Author’s note: today’s songs are “A.M. 180” by Grandaddy, “Good Ol’ Boredom” by Built to Spill, and “はるなつあきふゆ” (“Spring Summer Autumn Winter”) by Ichiko Aoba.
I keep a playlist with all the songs I’ve mentioned throughout the novel so far. A total of two hundred and four videos. Check them out.
Are you too lazy to read, and would prefer to listen to this chapter instead? Then check out the audiochapter.
The Domains of the Emperor Owl 
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