Back in 2021 I wrote this short story about a therapist and his troubled patient named Alma. Man, 2021 was one prolific year. Anyway, I’ve presented this tale to the Google AI thing that generates podcasts out of your source material so the pair of hosts would do a review. Check it out.
Back in 2021 I wrote an extremely dark horror story called A Millennium of Shadows, in which I confronted some of my own darkness from my teenage years. I presented it to the Google thing that generates AI podcasts, and it came up with this piece:
You can read the entirety of this story on this site, starting from the first chapter.
For once, this isn’t an isekai: the story is set long in the future, after some apocalypse about which the survivors are still trying to figure out the specifics. Apparently their predecessors had become so advanced that they were mixing biological engineering with super-AI or some shit, until their industries went haywire and started mass-producing mutated monsters that overwhelmed the world. Those facilities seem to be still active somewhere, pumping out enhanced monstrosities. Seemingly the sole remains of humanity live in a megacity. More accurately, the wealthy live in the megacity. The rest of humanity (or just Japan?) endure in the surrounding slums. Among the unwashed masses, the local badasses are known as hunters, the only ones daring to venture into the wasteland to make their living. Killing monsters is profitable if they’re threatening the city or other hunters, but their main source of income are the relics of the old world: any random underground mall from the pre-apocalyptic world suddenly found attracts most hunters around, that won’t hesitate to murder each other for the loot if necessary.
Meet Akira. It’s a post-apocalyptic Japanese story set in the future, so someone named Akira had to be involved. We are introduced to him as a traumatized teenager who constantly gets robbed and generally bullied by local shitheads. During a monster attack, the guy has enough, and decides to defend himself with a gun against a group who are bound to kill him. Suddenly, a naked female spirit appears, and hovers casually toward him. Akira freaks out until she, who calls herself Alpha, explains that she’s an AI remnant of the pre-apocalypse, and that he’s the only one who can see her because his brain is attuned to the old-world networks still in place, so she can show herself to him as augmented reality. She’s not just a curiosity, though: she can offer Akira superhuman support, analyzing his environment, pointing out enemies, guiding his shots. After she manages to save him from explosions and monsters by telling him to stay put or move at times, he realizes that she’s trustworthy, and that this sexy ghost of the past is his ticket to a better life.
Alpha, as we piece together early on, isn’t that trustworthy. Apparently, for many cycles, she has been finding humans to support. All of those cycles have ended with the subject dying. In the latest one, the subject came close to succeeding in beating some final dungeon that Alpha wants her subjects to clear out, only for some information to have been revealed that made the subject turn against Alpha, who promptly took the subject out. What’s Alpha after, then? Is she on the side of the pre-apocalyptic humanity, who may only want to resurrect the old world no matter how many modern eggs need to be cracked? Is Alpha part of the same AI that mass-produces monstrosities? We still don’t know. Throughout the story, the friendship between Akira and Alpha is heartwarming, but as Akira becomes more and more dependent on her, in the back of your mind you know that she’s going to screw him over in the end. It remains to be seen, though, whether or not Akira would go along with whatever Alpha’s true objective is.
Akira is emotionally stunted. He was orphaned so young that he has no memory of his parents, and all he has known of people growing up is the need to protect himself from sentient wild beasts. As the story advances, he meets people who like him, and would even want to tear his clothes apart and mount him, but the part of his brain that ought to connect to people doesn’t work to any significant extent. Plenty of other compentent hunters see him as an uncaring loner who, despite his competence, is someone to be wary of. The exceptions are a few women in his life to whom he proved himself, and who are eager to take him under their wing and show him their delectable parts to get a rise out of him.
The gals in this story are delicious. Props to the author and the visual artist. From the teenage gang leader Sheryl to the redheaded murderess whose name I don’t remember but who was a super cyborg or something, you want to stare in awe and horniness. Thank you Japan for being you.
This is yet another one of those Japanese stories in which you follow the lives of the characters as they change and grow. Although some personalities clash, they have reasons for doing so. Some chapters are just about having a good time and hanging out with interesting characters that get along, and that’s something I think has been lost in Western stories, that are full of forced conflict and people acting like bastards to each other. As far as I’m concerned, you can rely entirely on the tension born from the story world and concept, as well as from some characters that are genuine bastards, and just have the rest of the crew navigating that while relying on each other.
I’m loving this story. I wish I could keep experiencing it, but I’ve run out of chapters. If you’re into Japanese stories with great action, careful worldbuilding, human stakes, and total babes, this is one of the greats as far as I’m concerned.
Also, why not, here’s an AI-generated short podcast about this review:
This weird thing that Google has released automatically creates short podcasts based on any source of information you give it. I suppose it’s quite useful for serious purposes, but I’ve fed it all my posts about the AI-generated songs I made for the third volume of Odes to My Triceratops. Listening to these almost perfect AI voices talking realistically about my stuff is really eerie. They made a couple of mistakes assigning lyrics to their proper songs, though.
Back in my late teens I frequented the Pointless Waste of Time forums, a comedy site belonging to Jason Pargin, later writer of the John Dies at the End series. The little I remember of my teenage years was beyond miserable, but I looked forward to a few things; one of them was the songs that a member of that forum posted regularly. His name was Tim Cameron, an intelligent, funny and honest British fellow who made music that I still vibe with. He later formed a band that he called Colours Run. They seemed to be on the path to grandeur (appeared on live shows and such), only for Tim to suddenly call quits on the whole thing, move to the US, and never be heard from again. That happened about twenty years ago.
His songs disappeared from the internet. As much as I would have loved over the years to listen to them again, they were gone. A few years ago, though, I came across an ancient CD in which I had burned some, unfortunately not all, of his songs I had downloaded.
I want others to know of this creative dude and his talents, which used to brighten my horrid days, so I plan to post on here all twelve recordings I have left of his. Tim, if you happened to google your old band out of nostalgia and came across this site, I’ll take them down if you want. And thank you for your songs.
A couple of weeks ago, I posted the first song of theirs I intended to post. Back then, I wanted to focus on a single song per post, but I’ve been busy with other stuff lately, so I ended up not posting any more. To my surprise, someone who also likes Colours Run found my post and urged me to share the rest of their songs, particularly “Tethers” and “Apathy Ever After.” I suspect I have never listened to those songs. Looking back, right at the end I stopped visiting the forums for personal reasons, and that’s when Colours Run released their “real” album, that is now unavailable for whatever reason. All the songs I have of theirs precede that album.
Without further ado (and no lyrics this time):
“Before the War”
“Before the War” (live)
“You-Centric Song”
“Alphabet Soup”
“Sand”
“Plastic Cups”
“Winter’s Day”
“Chaos Song”
“Curiosity”
“Paper Cord”
“Paper Cord” (live)
“Colours Run”
Listening back to these songs, it’s a disgrace that Tim and his boys didn’t make it. They were the real deal. Even decades from now, if I live that long, I’ll still love his stuff.
If you reading this are a fan who has stumbled upon this blast from the past, if you happen to have other songs of theirs that have otherwise been lost to time, by all means tell me where the hell I can find them.
EDIT: I found “Tethers” on YouTube:
This one’s “Beautiful Waste of Time”, from the YouTube channel posted in the comments:
Back in my late teens I frequented the Pointless Waste of Time forums, a comedy site belonging to Jason Pargin, later writer of the John Dies at the End series. The little I remember of my teenage years was beyond miserable, but I looked forward to a few things; one of them was the songs that a member of that forum posted regularly. His name was Tim Cameron, an intelligent, funny and honest British fellow who made music that I still vibe with. He later formed a band that he called Colours Run. They seemed to be on the path to grandeur (appeared on live shows and such), only for Tim to suddenly call quits on the whole thing, move to the US, and never be heard from again. That happened about twenty years ago.
His songs disappeared from the internet. As much as I would have loved over the years to listen to them again, they were gone. A few years ago, though, I came across an ancient CD in which I had burned some, unfortunately not all, of his songs I had downloaded.
I want others to know of this creative dude and his talents, which used to brighten my horrid days, so I plan to post on here all twelve recordings I have left of his. Tim, if you happened to google your old band out of nostalgia and came across this site, I’ll take them down if you want. And thank you for your songs.
Without further ado, here’s the original version of “Before the War.”
Here’s a recording of “Before the War” from a live event they did:
Lyrics below:
When we lost the human race All our brains got replaced, And all these robots never laugh At my jokes.
So take me back before the war. Take these things, they’re all yours. There’s nothing, nothing worth Fighting for.
You stole my drugs, crashed my car, But you left no lasting scars. Retribution slipped so soft, Like a blade.
We blew it up, knocked it down. Never tried giving ground, and now There’s nothing left of love But what I saved.
I get tired winning games When the pieces never change, And all the clever moves you make Seem so tame.
You can sulk if you want. Don’t you wonder what’s the point When there’s nothing left of love Worth sulking for?
Did you cry when you left me?
Another year older, The world on my shoulders, And I’m still no closer To finding a girl Who won’t bore me to tears. Not here.
There’s nothing worth fighting for. Don’t remember what I did before the war.
Udio released the ability to download your produced songs in parts (bass, drums, other instruments, and vocals), so naturally I’m remastering all songs I thought done. And I wanted to tackle as soon as possible my favorite of all I’ve produced: a strange piece that somehow feels like it encapsulates most of my life in eight minutes and thirteen seconds of pitch-perfect emotion.
Udio uses AI to divide each song into stems, and it had trouble with this one: the wavering instruments and vocals turned up in different stems, only to return to the original. I haven’t seen it do this with any other song remotely to this extent, which adds to the strangeness of the for me timeless song. Too bad I came up with this one before Udio improved its audio quality.
In case you don’t know, I’ve been obsessed with producing songs lately by exploiting the amazing AI service Udio. I’ve already made and released two full albums based on a strange story I wrote back in 2021, named Odes to My Triceratops. It follows the adventures and misadventures of a trio of friends who live in a town lost in the map. The main dude is a songwriter named William Griffin, who’s passionate and sensitive, if a bit unhinged. Another character is William’s next-door neighbor Claire Javernick, a blind redhead. Then we have Lorenzo, who’s a sentient triceratops for no justifiable reason. You can download the first two albums of this story through this link.
Here’s the second version of “Knife-Beard Dreams,” this time a mix of psychedelia and indie folk. I’m very impressed with how this one turned out. While the other three songs I’ve produced for the fourth album are unnerving to some extent (which sometimes the subject matter and/or vibe require), this one is so pleasant-sounding and groovy that I see myself listening to it over and over. Add to it Udio’s improved sound quality and my growing mastering skills, and even the MP3 version of this song sounds fantastic.
Lyrics below, same as the other version:
The words on the page, They’re too plain. I can’t read. I have no clue what anything means.
The man in the heavens had a plan To prove I’m insane. He sent the sky crashing down, And it crushed me into dust.
Deep down, the darkness whispers; It calls and calls, and I must heed. I can’t take my life, But I can’t live the one I have.
Why the hell am I singing? Nobody’s around to listen. I should just shut up And go back to sleep.
Maybe I’ll dream about a giant worm With a beard made of knives. Maybe I’ll dream of homicide, And wake up with a big smile.
Ever since Udio released the ability to download the songs in parts (drums, bass, other instruments, and voice), I knew I would end up remastering every single song I believed done before. And I’m glad I’m doing it, because this awesome psychobilly song “St-a-b Ya-self” sounds fucking amazing now: growling bass, crystal-clear voice, crunchy distorted guitars and drums.
What happened to psychobilly, anyway? There should be far more of it out there.
Why not, here’s a psychobilly song by an actual band made of humans:
In case you don’t know, I’ve been obsessed with producing songs lately by exploiting the amazing AI service Udio. I’ve already made and released two full albums based on a strange story I wrote back in 2021, named Odes to My Triceratops. It follows the adventures and misadventures of a trio of friends who live in a town lost in the map. The main dude is a songwriter named William Griffin, who’s passionate and sensitive, if a bit unhinged. Another character is William’s next-door neighbor Claire Javernick, a blind redhead. Then we have Lorenzo, who’s a sentient triceratops for no justifiable reason. You can download the first two albums of this story through this link.
I’ve made this weird little song about having to keep living when you don’t know how. Part progressive metal, part motown soul. It exploits Udio’s improved audio quality, that joint with the ability to download the song in stems, has resulted in my highest quality song yet.
The singer’s voice right at the end sounds almost exactly like Tim Cameron, leader of late 1999’s, early 2000’s amateur British band Colours Run. That’s one hell of an obscure reference, particularly because the guy disappeared about seventeen to twenty years ago, and I haven’t come across anything new of his since. Hey Tim, I’m a middle-aged dude now, but I still remember how eagerly I clicked on the songs you posted on that forum ages ago. Your music was among my favorites.
Anyway, lyrics below:
The words on the page, They’re too plain. I can’t read. I have no clue what anything means.
The man in the heavens had a plan To prove I’m insane. He sent the sky crashing down, And it crushed me into dust.
Deep down, the darkness whispers; It calls and calls, and I must heed. I can’t take my life, But I can’t live the one I have.
Why the hell am I singing? Nobody’s around to listen. I should just shut up And go back to sleep.
Maybe I’ll dream about a giant worm With a beard made of knives. Maybe I’ll dream of homicide, And wake up with a big smile.
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