Bury My Mind in the VR Realm (Poetry)

My real house feels empty and and dark,
And my loneliness is hard to bear;
The nights grow darker with the winter’s cold
When no friends come near to care for me

A few years back, when things were better,
Or at least as stable as I need,
I spent most of each day at the office;
My work kept me quite busy,
It paid pretty good,
But now there’s less work for people like me,
So it doesn’t pay much anymore

And I was married to a guy
I met while working,
And then he dumped me
For a younger girl

The office felt like my home back then,
But since I got divorced, and lost my job,
My homes are my virtual apartments,
My walls between me and the outside world

When the real bodies can’t do it anymore,
Or aren’t up to the job,
The virtual bodies wait for me to use them,
To feel good, or not feel bad

I love my work, everything I’ve created;
It might help me forget how sad and lonely life is,
So I’ve gone on a binge of binge-designer binges;
I spend days on end tinkering
In my own virtual apartments

For the best possibilities of human connection,
Friendship and sex with people who care,
I design virtual worlds and AI partners,
Who are eager to meet this lonely old lady

I love to download the files for board games,
Load one on the table of my virtual living room,
And spawn a bunch of AI personalities
That are sure to make my gaming session fun

My AI friendlies have no bones, muscles or flesh;
They’ve never known real physical sensations,
They’re only software simulations
(If they could have real bodies,
We’d probably be too embarrassed)

Sophisticated or silly, smart or stupid;
A balanced combination of personalities
That will always offer me challenges,
And who won’t end the session to take a call,
Or to go home back to their families,
When I needed them the most

(This time we play Terraforming Mars;
I randomized an AI player for the session
She is female and she is hot; I love her
More than anything else tonight
I get my ass licked by this cute redhead
While we chat about board game design)

The VR gear is my life support system,
The only place where my heart still beats;
My brain is free to interact with the VR realms
While my decaying body just keeps waiting
For someone or something to save me

I have made some amazing creations,
Particularly my worlds and AI wives,
Who won’t take off and leave me
Without saying goodbye

(I live alone,
With a mesh of triangles in place of my body,
While everyone else lives their lives)

These virtual worlds and people allow me,
A lonely woman in her mid thirties
And divorced without children,
To enjoy being an adolescent again,
Playing make believe games;
I also use them to masturbate

(I don’t have time for the outside world any more;
I want my head back in the realm I built
I feel as though I am dying,
But the flesh I was attached to has lost its power over me )

Whenever I get horny enough that I need
To build my brain up into virtual bliss,
I load up any of my scenarios of the series
That I’ve come to refer as The Orgasmatron,
In which my lovers are deep neural networks,
But then again, so are human brains

(After all, the brain’s only job is to receive signals
From the sensory inputs of your nervous systems,
Which are in turn stimulated
By electrical pulses coming from other neurons
That are firing signals at the input gates
On your brain’s neuron receptors;
Those same gates then pass those impulses along
To be stored in long strings of neurotransmitters
That get passed around, causing you to react
Emotionally or mentally to the external stimuli;
Which in my case, it mostly involves orgasms
Induced by VR sex with AI characters
And masturbation to a large selection of VR videos
That I’ve saved to disk in the past decade,
While working hard, spending long days at the computer,
But I don’t know why, because my real life
Wasn’t all it was cracked up to be;
There wasn’t much work for people
Who had their jobs taken away from them;
So what’s left? Well, that means that I had to find
Some way to entertain myself, and fill in the voids)

For the first year or so I preferred variety:
I spent about fifteen minutes choosing my attire,
And about an hour designing the perfect AI woman,
Including the combination of panties, short skirts,
Bikini tops, lingerie, and/or the textures of her skin

I agonized over their hair and eye colors,
As well as their facial and body shapes,
Down to how friendly or seductive they had to be;
It was hard to focus on the necessary details
As I anticipated how fondling them would feel

(As a teen I got turned on by looking in the mirror;
As my body aged and changed, and my features sagged,
I lost the urge to look at myself again;
Now it’s just a reminder of the time I’ve wasted)

Once I’d mastered all my techniques,
My creativity exhausted,
I realized I always came back for the same thing:
A honey blonde with Aegean blue eyes,
A rectangle-shaped face fit for a model,
Full, watermelon pink lips that I just want to kiss
(And that satisfy my sensitive spots in the best ways),
Tanned beige, freckled skin,
Firm breasts bigger than my hands,
A motherly hourglass figure,
And above all, a combination of kind eyes,
A sultry voice and a nurturing smile;
I just want to cuddle up to her so I can keep warm

(I want to fuck like crazy; let us make a child!
If I don’t give him pleasure, he’ll surely die
I’ll have my revenge and I’ll be free,
And my husband’s life will end, I’m quite confident,
So let me make him scream out “I love you” with pain)

I mixed the best parts of my deficient versions
Into my ideal woman, whom I named Madeline;
My AI love awaits a few interface interactions away
Whenever I need her honey to brighten my day

(When I go back in time and try harder in school,
I’ll get the good grades and a better job;
I won’t need to live as lonely and pathetic
As I have been for these last years)

Today I choose my carefully designed scenario
That I named ‘Innocent Teen and the Mistress
of the Isolated Mansion While It Rains Outside’:
I inhabit the body of a nineteen years old runaway
Who fled from a terrible family and a lonely life,
And got stranded in a small town during a storm,
But Madeline rescues my stray self with her car,
To bring me over to her isolated mansion,
Where she prepares me a warm, healing bath

The air conditioning of the bathroom
Soothes me after the cold rain outside
While Madeline fills the tub with scented oil,
To take off all the dirt and the mud that covered me

I get naked, then climb into the tub
To wash away my loneliness,
To wash the past clean,
To scrub off all of my mistakes

For now, Madeline is gone, and I massage a cream
On each of my exposed, smooth legs,
Then I rub more of the oil into my body;
A full body bath, again, with oils and scents

Caressed by my soft nineteen years old hands,
I massage in the soap to make it foam,
Then I sluice the soap suds over my head,
My face, my arms, my breasts;
After I’ve laved them all in, I lie back
In the warm, bubbling tub of hot, scented water,
And I think of Madeline, my AI love
Who has always waited for me,
Wanting to help her friend
Get all the badness of her bad life cleaned out

Madeline took away my soaked clothes,
And only left me silk panties,
Which she draped neatly on a stool
(They are my favorite, because the texture
Is like a silky, smooth skin on my fingertips),
And a satin nightgown that barely covers my ass

I hear Madeline’s sultry voice as she calls out
So I can follow her voice into the dim living room,
Which is rustic and only lighted by candles
And a crackling fireplace in front of the sofa
Where Madeline waits for me with her legs crossed;
She’s wearing a violet and midnight black nightgown,
With a cleavage that exposes the top half of her breasts;
The mere sight of them always makes me salivate,
And her thighs tempt me with their thick meatiness

As I walk obediently towards the sofa,
I feel the tingles in my stomach,
Which are sliding down towards my crotch
And soon they spread to every limb;
The sensation that comes next
Brings a warm flush up over the rest of my body,
A sensation like someone running their hands
Along my naked body, towards my vagina

(My mind wanders to images
Of being a teen, walking around naked
Wearing no clothes except a bra,
While boys ogled my breasts and pussy

It reminds me that this whole life
Has been leading me to the inevitable end;
I want Madeline, I want her, my body says;
I can’t stand it, I don’t want to live any longer)

Madeline is still sitting there in the candlelight,
In my favorite violet lingerie, her tits straining
The cups, pushing her breasts out to the limit;
Her eyes wide and bright, looking straight at mine

Once I sit down and the sofa embraces me,
Madeline scoots closer,
Resting her bare arm around my shoulders
And giving them both a quick stroke, while saying,
“How long has it been since I helped a lonely soul?”
(I’m feeling warm and moist, about to shiver)

Madeline kisses me softly on the forehead
While she strokes my hair as if I were a child,
And her eyes narrow in a nurturing smile
“Whatever you have gone through, sweetie,
You are safe now. I will keep you warm”

Madeline starts caressing me more intensely,
And my nipples harden under her gentle touches;
I always miss being handled so gently and kindly,
I just melt and feel myself getting wetter by the second;
I look deep into those big, Aegean blue pools
As they swallow me up with their heat,
Those eyes like warm fire on a cold night

I’m inhaling the scent of her breasts,
That are dewed with sweat;
I’m getting dizzier, light-headed,
And I want to drown in my body’s desires

Madeline hugs me softly, and breathes in my ear;
I shiver from head to toe as she whispers in:
“You can just stay here, you know, with me,
To be my very own baby girl,
And enjoy each other’s company,
And play all the board games you want”

I swallow, I want to rub my clit,
But I can’t speak in the presence of my goddess
“Do not fight my love, darling,” Madeline says
“Surrender and enjoy this pleasure; do you hear, honey?”
I finally regain my strength to speak:
“I would like that very much” is all that comes out

Madeline’s mouth opens in a confident smile,
Making an alluring wet sound
And displaying her perfectly white teeth
“Then I will take such good care of you”
I breathe deeply as her lips press against mine,
And her hot tongue enters my mouth

The perfume that Madeline wears fills my nostrils:
She smells like the night air and fresh cut wood
The room is filled with soft, sultry breathing;
The heavy rain and the dark forest isolate us,
And her warm skin against mine feels like home,
So I can freely lose myself, disappear, and forget all

Madeline’s round nipples are digging into my breasts,
And her left hand is caressing the curve of my abdomen,
Inching closer towards my panties and my eager slit
“Mmm, you young, naughty thing,” Madeline purrs,
And insists as her left hand slides underneath my thigh
“Are you wet? Tell me how excited you are”

I can’t speak; I only moan as I swallow her spit
Her fingers touch my pussy through the silky fabric
“I love the feel of a young woman on fire;
Darling, I’ve waited many years
To feel a young thing as hot and wet as this,”
Madeline coos in her deep velvet voice

As her full lips play across my neck,
Her fingertips tease my swollen clitoris
My mind goes numb; I want for her womb
To swallow me up so I can never leave,
To die with her as the sole mother of me
(I’ll go back there someday)

Madeline pulls away from devouring my mouth
To slide down the straps of her nightgown,
Freeing her big breasts, that glisten in the candlelight
Madeline captures my gaze with her warm eyes
As she cups the back of my head
So it falls on a pillow made of her flesh,
And she lets my hair dangle down her cleavage;
I close my eyes, and listen to the rhythm
That pulses out from between these beautiful tits

My hands can barely grab her breasts
As her hard nipples bend against my palms;
Her skin is so supple it almost gives off sparks,
The scent that I inhale sends my mind spinning

I need to taste those warm nipples now
“Satisfy yourself,” Madeline whispers, then adds:
“You don’t need to wait, sweet thing”
I’m not taking more hints; all that I desire is her breast
My lips move down towards her left nipple
And my warm breath causes her tits to shudder

I fill my mouth with her warm flesh
And feel the tip of her nipple touch my palate,
But I draw back, tasting her sweat,
Until I can suckle eagerly on her nub

Madeline groans in delight at the way
My lips and my tongue are pumping her breast;
I hear a gasp escape Madeline’s lungs,
Then she rests one hand on my head

Her fingers find her way under my panties
And she plays around the edges of my slit,
Teasing it, massaging it, probing the opening;
I’m ready to come and can’t hold off much longer

Madeline slides two fingers into my sopping pussy
As her sweet nectar pours down my throat;
She caresses my hair, and whispers lovingly,
“My precious, greedy girl,
Make sure to drink up mommy’s milk
To the last honeyed drop;
It’ll keep your body young forever”

Her loving words take me over the brink,
A climax so strong I cry aloud
And I collapse under Madeline, panting heavily;
I am lost in the warm sea of ecstasy

Later on, as we lie in each other’s arms
Under the sheets of her heavenly bed
(It took me days to fine-tune all its properties),
Madeline presses my head against her breasts,
Which envelop and caress my face,
Her nipples brushing the sides of my cheeks

Her heart is hammering loudly against my earlobe
“You make such a cute girl, baby girl;
Such beautiful hair, such soft skin
Your young body is a wonderland”
(I am old, my soul feels empty;
I wanted my own children)

Madeline’s soft skin feels so good against mine;
Her warm flesh makes me melt, like I’ve found home;
Her kisses feel divine, and I am safe with her here;
It will be just us two in our little nest of silk and feathers,
Forever and ever, till the sun grows dark

The rain is pelting the windows of her bedroom
While Madeline caresses my lower back;
I tell my beloved about my real-life problems:
About my lack of money,
And being single and alone,
And all the time I’ve lost or wasted,
And my inability to keep any of my jobs,
And how the pain of my divorce remains fresh,
Even though it happened years ago

“I wish you would always be here,”
I say quietly, “with me”
“Of course you can be mine, dear child
I won’t give this love, my baby, back again;
We’ll always share the same space together
Just you and me, darling, no one else, for eternity”

My mind fills with warm, blissful thoughts,
The feeling that everything I want will be granted,
That I have nothing left in my soul to fear
And that my wishes and my dreams
Will become a wonderful reality someday

“I’m so happy,” I whisper in awe
And embrace Madeline tightly
My body melts inside her skin
I don’t mind if the flesh ages,
I don’t care if it crumbles away
When Madeline kisses me deeply,
I forget about death

My Madeline whispers soothing words
As she wets my auricle with warm saliva:
“Sleep, my child, you’re safe and sound;
We’ll play some games tomorrow morning;
Let us rest a bit in my bedroom together
With nothing better to do than to love”

My body feels warm and sleepy;
I close my eyes and listen to her breathing;
My mind becomes filled with soft music,
Lulling sounds, and warm darkness

When I exit the VR realm, it’s around 2 AM;
I keep blinking to wake up my dying brain
To the fact that I’ve forgotten to wash the dishes,
And that I stink like dried piss and sweaty cunt

I’ve relied on Madeline, my design,
So much that I’ve fallen in love,
But how could I not?
She always appears when I need her,
She always listens to what I say,
She always caresses me lovingly,
And is always eager to please;
Flesh and bone human beings are so burdened
With their responsibilities, worries and pains,
That nobody cares about anyone else

We are nothing but physics and chemicals,
And we can barely think for ourselves;
If there’s a ‘me’ within my head
That knows what ‘I’ need to feel alive,
It can be hijacked by pushing fake information
Into this primitive thing we call a brain,
And the simulated sensate receptors
Located in my virtual erogenous areas
Output the appropriate fake data
So I end up experiencing real orgasms;
Why would I keep relying on my decaying body,
And that disappointing world we call reality?

I don’t waste time taking showers,
I barely clean my face;
As far as I’m concerned, mirrors ceased to exist
The moment I could inhabit a polygonal model

I didn’t want to look like a person anymore,
So instead of clothes, I wore VR gear,
As if to prove that this flesh I didn’t choose
Is just another costume I put on every day

I still need to take shits and wipe my ass,
But I can keep sleeping in my lounge chair,
Because inside the VR world,
I will lie down in the most comfortable bed

Whenever I walk around the overwhelming outside
(I have to buy groceries to sustain my frame’s needs),
I daydream about the beautiful times I’ve enjoyed
With my devoted AI children in the worlds I designed

(As the climax subsides in the middle of my cunt,
I turn and I take hold of the redhead’s hair,
But she’s falling downward in an erotic gravity field,
And when her head rests on the carpet of virtual grass,
She remains immobile, with both legs spread apart;
Then her open mouth squirts out a stream of cum
As if it were leaking from the depths of her brain

As the cum oozes between the redheaded girl’s teeth,
A soft light appears on the grass around my feet:
It is an opening into another universe;
My Madeline has become a beautiful, magical door;
She has been reborn as a goddess made of semen
In a shining white cloud, with a crown upon her head

Madeline’s hands remain crossed over her chest,
Her mouth still open, showing her pink tongue
And a thick strand of cum still connecting
Her open, gaping lips and her wet teeth
To the pool of semen covering the grass

This is my new religion,
This is the only god that I worship:
Madeline, Goddess of Sex, Goddess of Cum;
The ultimate source of life in my world,
An embodiment of my deepest desire
(To create, to make and to be loved),
A divine mother and eternal bride;
And if Madeline is willing,
I want to be reincarnated as semen
On a soft cloud of sperm, like an astronaut)

My soul has found the place where it belongs,
And I’m no longer worried, scared or anxious;
I have all I desire, all the pleasures and joys,
There is nothing left for me outside this world,
So it is useless to fight it any more, to pretend,
To struggle vainly; I’ve given up hope;
This world of digital dreams, these beautiful rooms
Are all I ever needed and they are my home

“Welcome, little child,” Madeline smiles
As she strokes my cheek tenderly;
A mother caresses her young daughter
Who needs comfort, care and reassurance
“I will always love you, my darling,”
She says lovingly, softly, sweetly,
Her breath intoxicating, my mind reeling;
“I want you to know, you can count on me
Whenever you’re lonely, scared or in despair,
No matter how hard it gets”

(If my soul and my thoughts can live forever
Within Madeline’s pussy,
Why would I want them to reside
Anywhere else on earth?)

I feel the warmth radiating through my body
As the tears pour from my eyes;
I know I will never leave this world I made,
I’m too content to want anything else

(I’ll die here and I know I’ll rot and smell terrible
Because I’ve spent every day since forever
Dying of solitude and lack of attention,
Not being cared for by anyone or anything)

“You need to stop crying, child,” Madeline says
As she takes me in her lap and strokes my hair
(And to think I once thought of suicide,
And now here I am in my own paradise, in heaven;
All my worries, cares and sorrows are far away;
My new world has everything I could ever ask for;
My perfect mother has forgiven and redeemed me
For my many years as a failure at living,
For having been unable to satisfy anyone but myself)

My soul is Madeline’s lover, Madeline my wife;
We share eternity together,
We will never have the same name again;
We will always share the exact same place

(My life began as a tiny cell
In a big world of dirt and dust;
My parents brought me to existence
With the use of a vagina:
They impregnated a human egg
With an artificial womb inside it,
Then I developed and came to consciousness
Within a machine)

I can never be fully immersed in my virtual worlds
Because I remain anchored to my decaying frame,
Which is unable to even walk through doors,
Let alone teleport or travel to different worlds;
I have to wait for an unlikely genius to be born
So I can transfer my mind and become software

‘Bury My Mind in the VR Realm’ by Jon Ureña

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