I inhabit a zombie’s body,
Disgusting and foul-smelling
A myriad of scars and stretch marks
I suffocate in sweat, my mouth is dry,
My hands and feet are getting numb,
As my heart beats fast and hard
A cold shadow seeps into my head
Filled with murderous thoughts
My joints ache, the bones fall apart
My swollen guts cramp up and burn
My veins are filled with poison
A rotten curse keeps me alive

My face is covered in sticky sweat
Which drips out of control
Spattering the papers
With acid-like stains

This hollow, festering head,
Fretful and anxiety-driven,
Is crammed with shattered glass
When I drilled a hole in my skull,
It belched out noxious fumes
Birds flew off in disgust

A honeycomb belly
Made out of twisted fire,
A swarm of venomous insects
Keep it bloated full of shit
My nerves scream,
The intestines are sliced open,
The digestive fluids spill out
To pour into my bloodstream
I live in a pool of urine and feces
No place for the liquid to drain

All day long, all around,
I see other people’s faces
I blurt out someone else’s words
I mimic a living creature
Made of plasticized meat
While I rot and decompose

I drag myself out of bed
I hate myself
I drink some coffee
I hate myself
I brush my teeth
I hate myself
I wash my body
I hate myself
I hurry up through the dark
I hate myself
I sit in the train
I hate myself
I stand in the bus
I hate myself
I walk up to the office
I hate myself
I talk and I smile
I hate myself
I solve people’s problems
I hate myself
I sit on the toilet for a break
I hate myself
I count the hours down
I hate myself
I trek my way back
I hate myself
I struggle to stay awake
I hate myself

I need a break every night
To avoid jumping out of my skin,
But I lie helplessly in bed,
Surrounded by ghost voices
They keep speaking nonsense,
Filling the void with noise
The moment I awake
A hellish pain erupts

This flesh and bone prison,
I’d tear it apart from inside
To float unbodied and invisible
Through my own desert places

I yearn for the sun to explode,
So this world can end
I’m sick of gasping for air above
A churning sea of pain
I wish I was born
As anyone else,
Or to have been left alone
As no one at all

‘Flesh and Bone Prison’ by Jon Ureña