We’re Fucked, Pt. 120 (Fiction)


The three of us are queueing on the terracotta tiles of the station, behind a bunch of parents and their pre-teens, when the rollercoaster car glides in. The side frames of its seats resemble stylized waves, painted ocean blue except for golden-yellow flourishes.

One by one, the passengers rise from their seats and disembark. As they step off the station in a cacophony of footsteps, laughter, and animated chatter, Nairu’s gaze follows the children that pass by: their hair windblown, their faces flushed, their eyes wide with the thrill of the ride.

“Each bench only fits two people,” Jacqueline points out.

“Go ahead and sit with Nairu,” I say. “I’ll be right behind.”

The queue shuffles forward, filling up the seats. Jacqueline guides our girl onto the second-to-last bench, and once seated, Nairu slides her butt to the far end. I take off my backpack and settle in the middle of the wooden bench behind them. This car lacks harnesses, seat belts, and even safety bars to grip; when humans built the rollercoaster a hundred years ago, they must have been that eager to die.

Nairu giggles as she sways her head with giddiness. Further down the car, a kid is slapping excitedly on the back of the bench in front of him.

While I stow the backpack between my calves, the car lurches into motion. I’m distracted by the yellow-and-green tent of the carousel below until our car tilts for its inaugural plunge. In a rush of wind and a clattering rumble that makes me vibrate, we barrel down a shadowed, narrow space squeezed between a rock wall and the back of the buildings that house carnival games. Jacqueline has wrapped an arm around Nairu, who lets out a thrilled squeal. The momentum is tossing their tresses in chaotic waves.

We crest the hill only to surge down again, rocketing toward the next incline. A spontaneous grin of euphoria has spread across my face. I feel buoyant, as if the burdens I have carried around all my life had been mercifully lessened.

Before I know it, the ride will end. Some day I will try to remember how it felt to be lifted off the seat of this car as it thundered down a slope, but these sensory impressions will have been distilled into a summary: that today I went on a rollercoaster with my loved ones, and that I wished for time to slow down so this joy would last forever.



Author’s note: today’s song is “Unless It’s Kicks” by Okkervil River.

I keep a playlist with all the songs mentioned throughout the novel so far. A total of a hundred and ninety-seven videos. Check them out.

Are you too busy to read even such a short chapter? Listen to it instead.

This short chapter, shortest in the novel, concludes the sequence “A Stoic Face in the Darkness.” I originally intended this trip to an amusement park to serve as an epilogue to the previous sequence, but visiting the location ended up providing plenty of notes.

The next chapter will kick off the second-to-last sequence, titled “The Great Pretender.”

On writing: Developing the premise #1

You can check out all my posts on writing through this link.

Are you happy with your concept? Then grow a premise out of it. Premises involve a task to be accomplished and a character that must accomplish it in the midst of conflict. The following are the notes on the subject I gathered years ago from many books on writing. Warning: I can’t be arsed to order these notes into specific subsections.

  • In the context of the concept, create a central issue: a problem to solve, an opportunity to seek, or some other milestone the hero needs to pursue and achieve to avoid dark consequences or achieve something wonderful.
  • How does the story pose a dramatic question, generically stated as this: “will the hero achieve X?” with X standing in for what the hero needs or wants. If X doesn’t happen, it will yield dark consequences.
  • A story inherently chronicles something that is changing. Usually that “something” revolves around a problem the protagonist must solve in order to actually get from the shores of “before” to the banks of “after”.
  • How does the premise give a character some specific problem to solve and/or an opportunity to go for?
  • Almost all successful plays, films and novels are about primal human desires: success (Legally Blonde), revenge (Falling Down), love (Notting Hill), survival (Alien) or the protection of one’s family or home (Straw Dogs). Why else would we consume a story so ravenously? Love, home, belonging, friendship, survival and self-esteem recur continually because they’re the subjects that matter to us most.
  • Test a premise casting it as a experiment that the story would “validate”. Ex. “What’s the worst that could happen if I were to suspect that my uncle killed my father, took his position and married my mother?”
  • What prompts the need for the task to be accomplished, turning the concept into a premise? Ex. “an evil power searches for a ring that’s been lost for ages, and in order to prevent him from taking over the world, that ring must be destroyed.”
  • You need to give your character a challenge, a need, something to do, something with a purpose, something with stakes, and then layer in an antagonist force, a villain, who seeks to block the quest or path of your hero.
  • How is the core story about what the character needs to do and accomplish to obtain peace and happiness?
  • How is it about what the protagonist has to learn, to overcome, to deal with internally in order to solve the problem that the external plot poses?
  • How would the plot force a protagonist to struggle with a problem, and in the process, change?
  • The journey is one they’ve needed to take for a long time, and their goal is to change their lives for the better, not just return to zero.
  • Is your hero proactively choosing to seize an opportunity that’s materialized rather than merely reacting to a problem (which is something anyone would do)?
  • You need an antagonistic force (usually a villain) seeking to block your hero’s path, then another major twist that sets the hero toward an inevitable confrontation, perhaps with a final shocking twist that allows the hero to confront the villain and resolve the goal, one way or another.
  • Does the core of the story ask a juicy dramatic question with vivid and urgent stakes?
  • What is the story about dramatically? Who wants what, and why? What opposes that? What is at stake, and why? And what does your hero do about it?
  • How is it a compelling situation that requires some specific action?
  • How does the concept imbue this premise with compelling energy?
  • How would the premise leverage the underlying power of concept to become bigger and better than before?
  • Try to match your premise to this definition: “a story is how what happens affects someone who is trying to achieve what turns out to be a difficult goal, and how he or she changes as a result.”
  • Does your premise involve a hero meeting their opposite, assimilating it and changing?
  • Could the premise revolve around something unexpected happening that throws a monkey wrench into someone’s well-laid plans?
  • Does it plunk someone with a clear goal into an increasingly difficult situation they have to navigate?
  • Does your premise involve a character who wants something badly and is having trouble getting it?
  • Does it involve someone with some passion needing to deal with a situation in the midst of huge conflict?
  • Does your hero have a problem or an opportunity that calls for a response in the face of opposition to the goal? Is something at stake?
  • Would this premise translate into an in-the-moment story, one that showcases all the character facets you hold near and dear and positions them as catalysts, obstacles and complications with an external hero’s quest?
  • How does this premise relate to the dichotomy between the external world (how we live among our fellow man pursuing what we want) and the internal world (how we find peace within ourselves by getting what we need)?
  • How does the story involve at least one character being thrown into an alien world, a place that represents everything outside their previous existence?
  • Is there a single yes/no question to be answered by the end of the story? Ex., “Will Dorothy get back home?”

On writing: Testing concept potential of story seed #2

You can check out all my posts on writing through this link.

Once you have ensured that the story seed you came up with connects with you enough, you should probably test its concept potential. The following are the notes on the subject I gathered years ago from many books on writing.

  • Think of the preliminary answers to the dramatic questions that your “What if?” implies. What is inherently compelling and wonderful about those answers the story could provide?
  • See if this could be the case: many different stories could arise from your concept, because it is fresh and different, it is rich with dramatic and thematic potential, it creates a wonderful story landscape and arena for the stories that arise from it, it has massive potential for conflict and confrontation with an antagonist (the villain), and most important, it is simply and almost overwhelmingly compelling.
  • Could it be so high concept that it will draw an audience without any other components? Could it, all by its lonesome, get people saying ‘wow’?
  • Are you sure the concept strikes you as unique and worthy and exciting, so it could be for someone else?
  • Is the conceptual centerpiece going to be compelling to anybody besides me? Can I get outside myself and explain why?
  • Is it so appealing that readers would want to believe in it?
  • Will this concept cause the reader to feel something?
  • How would it make the reader experience wonder?
  • Are you creating a world that will intrigue readers (like The Hunger Games)? Are you creating a world readers will want to visit (like Jurassic Park)?
  • Does it unfold within a setting, time, or culture that would allow the reader to take an appealing, vicarious trip into such a place?
  • Is it so strong that it will make nine out of ten people say that they want to spend some time in that world?
  • Could your concept push buttons?
  • How could you tweak the concept to infuse it with something outrageous, tense, full of conflict?
  • Could the concept contain some intriguing ironic contradiction?
  • Can you make it dangerous, fun and attractive, like the idea of a dinosaur park? Desirable and original?
  • If the concept has been used before, how is yours taking an unique approach, or is framed in unusual or intriguing circumstances (setting/locale or world/local events), or features characters whose careers or passions frame the concept in a fresh, compelling way?
  • Could this concept produce high-concept set pieces that would push the envelope, that won’t look like any other story?
  • How could you twist the whole idea so that it poses an intriguing dilemma or conflict?
  • Are you sure the concept is inherently interesting, fascinating, provocative, challenging, intriguing, disturbing, engaging, even terrifying, before adding character or plot?
  • How would this concept give a premise something to work with, something that fuels that story world, the characters, and the situational dynamics with conceptual givens, suppositions, truths, and constraints that drive and color everything that happens?
  • Explain how the premise is set up to be compelling because of its concept, which contributes rich dramatic fodder to the story that arises from it.
  • How can the concept go deeper?
  • You are holding the secret weapon of storytelling in your hands. Think bigger. Go further.

We’re Fucked, Pt. 119: AI-generated audiochapter

Return to your song, and sing again. This audiochapter covers chapter 119 of my ongoing novel We’re Fucked.

Cast

  • Leire: a blonde thief from those good old days when Bethesda games retained their magic
  • Jacqueline: loveliest marigold from The Witcher times

I produced audiochapters for the entire two previous sequences, and I intend to continue until the novel ends or I return to camming, where I truly shine. A total of five hours, two minutes and twenty-nine seconds. Check them out.

We’re Fucked, Pt. 119 (Fiction)


Still wobbly, my insides buzzing and fizzling from the time jump, I drag myself up the stairs of the tower. In front, Jacqueline ascends with graceful steps, propelled by her designed muscles. Her raven-black hair cascades to the middle of her back in a curtain of silky locks. Even Nairu, her chestnut hair bobbing with each bounce, is bounding ahead of me.

Whatever entity charges to access the tower also turned its insides into a heritage museum. We pass by a fireplace poker, a cooking pot, an old-fashioned lantern. Nestled in a recess of the stone wall stands a contraption crafted from metal and wood. A sturdy base flares out into an ergonomic seat worn smooth. The chair is attached to a mechanism involving a wheel, a crank handle, and unidentifiable fittings, tailored for some task that became obsolete a century ago. The grain of the wood, rich and dark, speaks of decades of service, and the luster of the metal components suggests the touch of many workers’ hands, or the same one, repeated over time.

Hung on the rough walls of the stairwell, black-and-white pictures show street scenes, along with architecture from the late 19th or early 20th century. One photo captured a group of people seated in an open-top vintage automobile. I’m about to glance away from the pictures when I spot the word “Irún” in a caption. My hometown, before it degenerated into a post-apocalyptic Babel.

I stop in front of the photograph even though Jacqueline and Nairu continue ahead. A gash of sunlight, streaming in through an opposite window, is shining on the framed picture, so I shift my head around to study the details. It depicts in monochrome a streetscape featuring benches, a tree that provides shade, and tramlines laid on the road. The building façades, unfamiliar and distant, stand behind the frozen silhouettes of strangers from an unreachable past. How many ancestors of Irún’s modern inhabitants walked these streets before the buildings were demolished and replaced?

My breath hitches in my throat. What’s this upsurge of feeling? Do I miss the city of my childhood, although I yearned to flee from it and from everyone I knew? It shouldn’t matter any longer; living with Jacqueline, I can almost believe that my past belongs to someone else.

While I force myself to stagger up the staircase, I pass by more pictures that pull my attention as if imbued with their own gravity. In a sepia-toned photograph, women with woolen bathing costumes stand in beach waters as they smile at the camera. One woman’s face, beneath a wide-brimmed straw hat, is swallowed by shadow. Another photo has gathered about twenty working-class people around a kid on a bicycle. In the next shot, the members of a motorcycle club pose in caps and duster coats, their vehicles polished and gleaming. In yet another frame, a row of men are standing on Ondarreta beach, wearing tank tops and shorts, maybe after a track-and-field competition.

Those people, their lives and stories, have slipped away. As if they had kept observing the world that moved on to decay and ruin, I feel them accusing me: “Why did you allow this to happen?”

What could I have done to stop it? I was surrounded by humans whose motivations and intentions seemed incomprehensible. Each time I thought others shared my perspective, their words reminded me that I was alone, a mass of flesh and bone that couldn’t budge this planet one centimeter.

I clutch the iron handrail. My eyes have moistened, my throat clenched, my facial muscles twisted into a grimace.

“Oh, the photos caught your attention, did they?” Jacqueline says, her voice echoing in the stairwell.

Instinctively, I turn toward the pictures beside me to hide the onset of tears.

“It’s just that… the further I climb, the more my thighs burn. But I’d catch up eventually.”

“Seems like these stairs are telling us to spice up our days with a bit more physical fervor.”

A heavy sigh escapes me.

“The moment I uttered those words, I feared I’d hear such a thing. You, with your chameleon body, can become as athletic as needed, and our Paleolithic daughter remains mostly unpoisoned by the additives and toxins of modern civilization, but me? I’m an arthritic, hunchbacked relic weighed down by a lifetime of regret.”

Jacqueline giggles.

“Fresh air awaits you a couple of landings away, my dear. And I promise that the view is worth every step. You can see all the way to France.”

Once we reach the final landing and climb a confined, spiral staircase, an archaic doorway transitions us onto the tower’s crenellated battlements. Sunlight splashes across me, bathing my skin with its warmth. I close my eyes, tilt my face skyward, and inhale a lungful of the fresh, crisp air. I expected it to carry a hint of brine, but it smells clean; I guess we’re too high up.

When I open my eyes, my vision is filled from end to end by a watercolor of pale blue brushed with wisps of cirrus clouds. Somewhere out there beyond the blue, across light-years of cosmic space, a conquering alien species must be planting eggs in the carcasses of their mutilated enemies. Here on Mount Igueldo, though, the autumnal breeze has revived me, clearing the fuzz from my brain.

Foosteps tap-tap-tap in a hurried rhythm; Nairu scampers up to the robust parapet punctuated with sandstone teeth. As she grips the stone for balance, she cranes her neck to peer through an embrasure. She emits a sound that starts as an “oooh” infused with the wonder of a child, but when she contemplates the steep drop that leads to a splattering death far below, the tail end of her vocalization quivers. Once Jacqueline and I join her at the parapet, Nairu reaches for my hand to clutch it tight.

The Cantabrian Sea, rippled in a sluggish motion by the winds, resembles a slab of turquoise marred by dense, underwater patches of green like submerged clouds. A yacht stands still amid the rolling swells, anchored deep below. Near the whale-shaped island at the bay’s mouth, garlands of foam stretch into the sea. The distance reduces a flock of seagulls to a swarm of white flies. To the east, beyond the verdant hump of Mount Urgull, a hilly landmass shrouded in haze melds with the horizon.

The cool breeze licks at my face, lifting strands of my hair. High-pitched squeals of joy rise from the amusement park, accompanied by the mechanical noise of the rollercoaster.

Jacqueline proffers the remaining three churros. After time-traveling to the dawn of civilization and back, I deserve a sugar hit. I pull one of the churros out of the paper cone and slide its lukewarm length into my mouth, coating my lips and tongue with a dusting of cinnamon sugar.

Yapping in a North American accent announces the arrival of a family of tourists, that whoa their way to our side. They seem the kind who would ask a stranger to take photos of them. The three of us shift away to a corner turret that overlooks the crescent-shaped bay, an amphitheater of water. Where the sun hits the foaming breakers, white sparkles ride the crests of the waves, coalescing into a silver shimmer. For a moment I wish to do nothing but munch on my churro and stare at those flashing lights.

Past the lace edge of waves against golden sand, the beachfront promenade teems with people milling about like mobile sundials: solid upper halves, angled shadows as lower halves. From the beachfront, the sprawl of Donostia, a clustering of buildings, spreads in a gridlike pattern, nestled within the green backdrop of hills.

Beside me, Nairu’s chestnut hair glimmers in the morning sun like a halo. She’s gazing upon the city with the silent, contemplative demeanor of an artist, or of a Paleolithic child who can hardly believe that any of it exists.

A cold, hissing gust buffets my face, flaps my corduroy jacket, whips the tail of my scarf about my shoulder. Nairu, her hair fluttering wildly, clutches the sketchbook to her chest as if guarding a precious heirloom. I huddle in my jacket and tuck my chin under the scarf. Its warm fleece tickles my nose.

Jacqueline wraps an arm around my waist, drawing me closer to her statuesque form.

“I brought you to a reasonably magical place, didn’t I?”

As the wind whistles around us, her tresses undulate like the waves of a glossy, black sea, exposing her earlobe and ivory-white neck. I could sink into the crystalline blue of those irises. Her full lips, always tempting, curve upward as if my mere presence pleases her.

“We should buy a castle,” I say.

“We should, though that quiet apartment of ours was quite the investment.”

“If you ever buy a castle, I’ll lounge on a throne atop the tower, too high up for any trouble to reach me.”

“I know what you mean, my darling. From such a lofty vantage, overseeing everything, it’s like we’re protecting the city, right?”

“We’d need a moat to keep away intruders, and a portcullis. Maybe a few portcullises. Oh, and don’t forget the drawbridge. Wouldn’t want to be unprepared in case of a siege.”

Jacqueline gazes at the mountainous horizon. When she speaks again, her voice has softened.

“I don’t want to give any of this up.”

My stomach knots with a sudden surge of fear.

“Wh-why would you need to?”

“Because the world expects me to resume my role as a secretary. But I refuse.”

“Oh?”

“I stayed put at the office, despite better options, out of a sense of obligation to our boss. After this break to nurture our home and Nairu, I’ve realized that my heart never lingered on the hours I spent working, and if I returned to my desk, I would wish to be elsewhere. So that’s it: I quit. I’ll ring him up when I muster the patience for that conversation.”

“Bold move, one I suspect you’ve been considering for a while. I always thought that working as a secretary was beneath you, even back when I was sure you wouldn’t… want me. From now on we’ll have to manage without your income, but I’ll do my best to provide for us three with the meager wages of a website programmer.”

Jacqueline laughs as if my statement tickled her. I feel like a child hearing the ringing of an ice-cream truck on a summer day. When the outburst dies down, her grin lingers warmly, showing off her pearly teeth and making the corners of her cobalt-blues crease.

“Ah, you’re sweet, but I didn’t expect you to shoulder the responsibilities alone. I’m returning to camming, where I truly shine. Now you understand what it means, right? As many sources of revenue as gorgeous ladies I can transform into, thanks to horny internet people.”

“That’s… an overwhelming number of sources, then.”

“Indeed, mon petit oiseau. That will more than cover the bills while still spoiling our little one with churros and amusement park trips. And don’t you worry, I gave the goverment my pound of flesh, not that I appreciate how they spend it. We won’t get in trouble.”

Jacqueline’s fingers press into my side through the corduroy jacket. With her eyelids drooping halfway, her gaze fixed on mine, she breaks into a smirk that sends my blood rushing downward.

“You know,” she continues, dropping her voice to a lower, huskier tone, “a partner could spice up my repertoire. Such a woman might prefer to preserve her anonymity, but a masquerade mask would do the job, wouldn’t it?”

Although her suggestion caresses my spine with electric fingers, I’m already flashing a dismissive wave.

“Oh, there’s no way that anybody wants to see my pussy.”

Jacqueline leans in close, her warm breath teasing the shell of my ear as her moist lips brush against it.

“They would kill for a taste, they just don’t know it yet. Besides, camming would be my side gig after the most important role of all: raising our child, as well as whoever follows. What a lucky woman I am to care for a girl who loves to create, who recognizes the beauty of the world. She won’t endure the fate of children whose curiosity and wonder are crushed in their youth, leaving them broken, forever distrustful of human beings. We’ll make sure that as Nairu ages, her childhood memories will become a beloved song, one she’ll long to return to and sing again.”



Author’s note: today’s songs are “The Last Living Rose” by PJ Harvey, “Ask Me No Questions” by Bridget St. John, and “Such Great Heights” by Iron & Wine.

I keep a playlist with all the songs mentioned throughout the novel so far. A total of a hundred and ninety-six videos. Check them out.

Do you want to listen to this chapter instead of spending your eyesight? Check out the audiochapter.

On writing: Testing your personal link to a story seed

Once you identify a story seed, you better ensure that it excites you enough; you don’t want to end up writing dozens of thousands of words only to realize that you’d rather work on something else. The following are the notes on the subject I gathered years ago from many books on writing.

  • Freewrite about what seems important about the idea.
  • What is the point of the story?
  • Is the story really worth it?
  • What could be the staying power of this story idea?
  • Why would any of it matter?
  • Does your imagination fill with possibilities? Do the preliminary scribbles get you excited about writing more?
  • How is this story personal and unique to you?
  • If you hope to write a book of either fiction or nonfiction, you will have to live with the characters or topic for a long time. Do you think you can do that?
  • What quality, characteristic or concern surrounding your idea grabbed you?
  • Why do you want to write this? What is it about your life at this moment in time that attracts you to this idea?
  • Do you bring a long-standing, or at least overwhelming, desire to have lived the story?
  • Why must you tell THIS story? Why is it important to you to spend the energy? Why are you willing to take time away from another area of your life to develop this story? What is it you want to say and why? And how? Where is it coming from inside of you?
  • What’s the belief burning within you that your story feeds off of?
  • Is this something that by writing it might change your life? Is the story idea that important to you?
  • Will it fill you, does it check something off your bucket list, will it give you focus and joy and challenge? Is the idea worth a year of your life? Do you want to be remembered for this story?
  • Imagine you are dying. If you had a terminal disease, would you finish this book? Why not? The thing that annoys that self is what’s wrong with the book. So change it.

On writing: Story seed generation #3

Here are my few remaining notes about generating story seeds, taken years ago from books on writing.

  • What would arouse a sense of wonder?
  • Freewrite about settings you find deeply intriguing, loaded with curiosities and mysteries.
  • What situations, problems, conflicts and emotions you want to be more adept at understanding, coping and resolving?
  • Think of two incompatible, compelling moral decisions. Dilemmas work best when the stakes are both high and personal. When one choice is morally right, it will win out unless it is offset by a different choice that is equally compelling in personal terms.
  • What’s the worst thing that could happen?
  • Make a list of ten times in your life when you felt the most scared or worried.
  • What subject close to your heart would embarass you, were you to open up about it? In such limits is often where great stories are found.
  • Start imagining great scenes. See them in your mind and justify them later. Who are these people? Why are they doing what they are doing? What’s happening beneath the surface?

On writing: Story seed generation #2

Here are some more notes about generating story seeds, taken years ago from books on writing.

  • When an image really grabs you, stop and write about it for five minutes.
  • What people do you find interesting?
  • Think of a character with a flaw, a knot that is hurting him and will do him more harm in the future, and what new way he could pursue. Think of a story that would show off or amplify this.
  • Create a character with an obsession, then follow.
  • Who are your personal heroes? What makes these people a hero to you? What is his or her greatest heroic quality?
  • What sort of protagonist could serve as a vessel for you to work through your own problems?
  • Think of something you wouldn’t tell anyone: not your spouse, maybe not even your therapist. See if there is a way to make that a story.
  • Brainstorm over the following points: things you hate. Things you love. Worst things you’ve ever done. Best things you’ve ever done. People you’ve loved. People you’ve hated. Bucket list. Hobbies. Things you know. What you’d like to know. Areas of expertise.
  • Write about the emotions you fear the most.
  • How would you live your life differently if you could start over? What would you do, who would you be, where would you go?
  • Consider hatching an idea from your passion, and then develop a concept that allows you to stage it and explore it.
  • Write about the burning core of your being, the things which are most painful to you.
  • Has your own life ever reached a turning point? Have you ever had to face up to your mistakes, admit failure, and find a way to go on? Have you ever been wrecked by the knowledge that you are inadequate, that you cannot fix things, or that your limitations are plain for all to see? Was there a moment when you knew you might die in the next few seconds? Has there been a point of do or die, now or never, it’s up to me?
  • What is the truth that you most wish the rest of us would see?
  • How do you see our human condition? What have you experienced that your neighbors must understand? What makes you angry? What wisdom have you gleaned? Are there questions we’re not asking?
  • Is there a particular theme about which you feel strongly?
  • What is the most important question? What puzzle has no answer? What is dangerous in this world? What causes pain?
  • Look in your own life: Is there a loss or fear you’d like to finally grapple with, or an ideal or extreme you’d like to imagine?
  • Think of some value that you believe in. Through what kind of story would you be able to debate that truth, try to prove it wrong, test it to its limits?
  • The whole point of a story is to translate the general into a specific, so we can see what it really means, just in case we ever come face to face with it in a dark alley.

On writing: Story seed generation #1

Back in the day, when I believed that writing stories could be systematized like a computer program (I’m a programmer by trade, after all), I was obsessed with books on writing. I own two double-row shelves of them, and that’s just the physical ones. You would think such an obsession would translate into sales, but it does not.

A couple of days ago I figured that in my spare time at work, when I’m not editing my current chapter, I could sieve through the hundreds, if not thousands, of notes I took, and post them on my site. I didn’t go as far as writing down to what book each of the notes belongs, or if I rewrote them in any way, so I hope I won’t get in trouble for this.

Anyway, the following notes relate to the process of generating story seeds.

  • Freewrite for five intense minutes. Write anything that comes to mind: your impression, visions, dreams, ideas. Ask questions, brainstorm answers.
  • Write out, continuously without stopping, one hundred questions. They could be personal questions, questions about the world, about science, about nature, about society, about family members, life, spouse, dog, car engine. Circle the ten that seem to you to be the most important. How do these ten questions relate to a body of work? Are your most important questions reflected in any of your works? Do the questions suggest areas into which you might extend your work?
  • Write down a wish list of everything you’d like to see in the screen or in a book. It’s what you are passionately interested in, and what entertains you.
  • Is there an interest that you could use as the core idea for an ingenious and appealing original premise? What has always fascinated you? What do your children love? What have you spent most of your non-essential spending on?
  • Take the building blocks of a movie you dislike. How would you rearrange them into what you do like?
  • Pull apart the stories you like. What you like in them is a part of you; you’ve got to recognize it before you can use it.
  • Reflect upon your most satisfying and influential reading experiences. Do they have a common takeaway?
  • Name three books you were desperately anxious to read. Identify the times you read the back cover copy and thought, “I have got to read that book.” What do these books have in common?
  • Each time you get an idea spark, come up with at least five to ten related “what if” scenarios. The last few should be the hardest to come up with but may turn out to be the best.
  • Come up with ideas that connect with you emotionally. Nudge them in a direction that offers the greatest possibilities for conflict.
  • Write five things you are passionate about. Five things you fear the worst. Five things you’ve always wanted to do. Five interesting things that recently have made you stop and think. Can you apply a “what if” question to each of those five things?
  • Think about what things should never be done. Come up with “what if” scenarios for them.
  • Come up with a fresh twist for the common scenario involving a group of characters, a confined space, and something chasing after them.
  • Think about what you are daydreaming about these days. If it brings you joy, what concept can you extract out of it that would make the story a vicarious experience?

Review: Feet of Clay, by Terry Pratchett

Words in the heart cannot be taken.

Three and a half stars.

This is the third novel in the City Watch series of books that good old (and dead) Terry wrote, after Guards! Guards! and Men at Arms. What started as a ramshackle watch has become a proper force that features members of most of the fantasy races that live in the city of Ankh-Morpork, in some cases due to the Patrician’s goal of representing all his constituents through affirmative action.

This time the story revolves around golems, anthropomorphic beings made of clay and animated thanks to the written notes someone put inside their heads. The fantasy version of robots. They are enslaved into performing most of the duties that the living creatures don’t want to risk their hides for, or bother with. Some of the most extreme cases involve leaving a golem in a pit to manufacture products twenty-four hours a day. Given this context, plenty of elements of the tale involve freedom: from social norms (a bearded female dwarf wants to look more feminine), from heritage (a character discovers that he belongs to the aristocracy even though he feels at home among the rabble), from their impulses (the resident werewolf), from religion, and such.

Once again, a shady group is trying to turn Ankh-Morpork into a monarchy. Three for three. Although some influential people in the city are aware that Captain Carrot, the six-something-feet-tall dwarf whom everybody loves, is the rightful king, he’s the earnest, just kind that would seriously upset the status quo in a city where thievery and murder are legal. Besides, his relationship with a werewolf could end up in seriously hairy heirs. So they figure that they could install some easily-manipulated dolt as king, which would allow the guilds to rule from the shadows. For that purpose they poison the Patrician, enough to incapacitate him but not kill him; all the guilds suspect that the city would be ungovernable if the cunning Patrician were to die.

In the middle of all this, two old men die: one the owner of a sort of bakery, and the other a priest. These two crimes are somehow tied to golems, who have started leaving their posts for supposed holy days. Meanwhile, a strange, dangerous golem roams the city.

Although one of these constructs became interesting by the end, I didn’t find them very compelling otherwise, which reduced my enjoyment of this story. However, Terry could have told pretty much any tale as long as it allowed me to spend some more time with the lovable cast of characters.

I suspect that Terry saw himself in the anti-authority Commander Vimes, whose ancestor famously killed the last king, and who at times struggles with the notion that plenty of his problems could be solved by shooting the people involved. My favorite character, however, is Angua, the local werewolf. She’s currently dating Captain Carrot somewhat against her will, because she can’t justify why she likes someone so straight-laced. Apart from the generally justified prejudices against werewolves, Angua fears that one day she’ll fail to control her urges and therefore rip the throat of someone she cares about, so she tries to keep people at arm’s length. She’s also planning to pack up and leave once again, because she doesn’t believe that she could ever belong among people. As I fear that one day I’ll turn my intrusive thoughts into reality, I identify quite a bit with her, and it doesn’t hurt that she reminds me of Annie Leonhart from Attack on Titan, one of my favorite characters from Japanese fiction.

Anyway, another entertaining novel in the City Watch series, just not as compelling as the previous two.