You can check out all my posts on writing through this link.
Once you’ve come up with a list of meaningful plot points that should happen in your story, and you have determined the general structure, you could strengthen the scaffolding further by relying on a five-act structure. The original three-act structure suffers from issues regarding the second act, which is the bulk of the story yet it’s treated as if it were the same length as the first and third acts. The five-act structure divides the second act into three, relying on a mid-story turning point as the main mast of the tale.
The following is the overview of the five-act structure.
Act 1 (Orphan, Innocent, No knowledge, Call to Arms)
Hook
Beginning
Inciting Incident (No knowledge)
Midpoint / Turning point / Story’s Inciting incident (Growing knowledge)
Crisis
First Plot Point / Climax / Point of No Return / Story’s Key Event (Awakening)
Resolution / Denouement
Act 2 (Wanderer, Training, Doubt, Dream Stage)
Beginning
Inciting incident (Doubt)
Midpoint / Turning point (Overcoming reluctance)
Crisis / Lowest Point
Climax / First Pinch Point (Acceptance)
Resolution / Denouement
Act 3 (Magician, Midpoint, Experimenting with knowledge, Frustration Stage)
Inciting incident (Experimenting with knowledge)
Midpoint / Turning point (MIDPOINT, Knowledge)
Crisis / Lowest point
Climax / Second Pinch Point (Experimenting post-knowledge)
Resolution / Denouement
Act 4 (Warrior, Doubt, Nightmare Stage)
Last stretch
Inciting incident (Doubt)
Midpoint / Turning point (Growing reluctance)
Crisis / Lowest Point
Third Plot Point / Doorway of No Return 2 / Climax (Regression)
Resolution / Denouement
Act 5 (Martyr, Hero, Reawakening, Total mastery, Thrilling escape from death)
You can check out all my posts on writing through this link.
If you’ve been following my posts up to this point and you’ve done the necessary work, you should have ended up with a killer concept, a promising premise, and a compelling protagonist. Now let’s tackle the subject of theme: a compelling moral problem at the core of the story, what the tale is ultimately about.
Can you sum up what your story is about in a short paragraph? One way to begin is to ask yourself how your theme shapes your plot.
What is the story’s central dilemma, the central moral problem of the story?
What is the inner issue? How does this story dig beneath the surface of life? How does it illuminate the meaning the protagonist reads into events?
What themes would make the story unique, and give your story heart?
What thematic point is borne out in the protagonist’s inner struggle?
See if you can nail the point your story will make in a few concise lines. Don’t worry if in the beginning it splashes all over the page. Just keep focusing in on the single driving point it wil make, to reduce it to its essence.
If a theme can be stated in terms of “This is good and that is bad,” then it won’t be ironic or interesting. If your story, however, is about a contest between goods or between evils, then you will create a gap between expectation (good should always be pursued; evil should always be evaded) and reality (some goods must be rejected in favor of others; some evils must be accepted to reject others).
How would the story be a contest between two equally appealing or appalling ideas that come into conflict?
How is this story a manifestation of inner psychological conflict?
Is the central dilemma of the story important enough to change someone’s life forever?
How is this story an argument about the nature of the world?
How would it force characters (and hopefully readers) to ask questions — about life, themselves, what they believe, how they view others?
Can you make the moral argument ambiguous, in a way that would force the audience to reevaluate the hero, the opponents, and all the minor characters to figure out what makes right action?
What do you want your readers to go away thinking about? What are you trying to say about human nature that will help us keep from getting trounced in the future?
Is the dilemma ultimately unsolvable?
How does the emotional conflict and the physical conflict intersect to create the central conflict?
Determine the central conflict by asking yourself who fights whom over what, and answer the question in a succint line. The answer to that is what your story is really about, because all conflict in the story will boil down to that one issue.
How does the theme stem from the struggle the problems trigger within the protagonist as he tries to figure out what to do about the problem he’s facing?
How is the plot’s main problem larger than it looks? Why does it matter to us all?
How is the story’s moral problem thorny enough to intrigue the audience?
You can check out all my posts on writing through this link.
If you’ve been following my posts up to this point and you’ve done the necessary work, you should have ended up with a killer concept, a promising premise, and a compelling protagonist. However, that character doesn’t operate in a vacuum. The two other most important characters, that in some stories play both roles, are the impact character and the antagonist. Everyone knows about the antagonist, but the impact character is a role rarely considered explicitly. The impact character is one that challenges the protagonist’s flaw usually in a non-hostile way, like a a mentor or a lover. Thanks to the impact character, the story features an “us vs. them” perspective that it would lack otherwise.
Does the story present a unique central relationship between the protagonist and an impact character?
The impact character represents the inner conflict. Just like the antagonist, the impact character is a conflict-causer. Just like the antagonist, he’s at odds with the protagonist. But unlike the antagonist, the conflict isn’t necessarily the result of opposing goals. Rather, its core is the opposing worldviews of the protagonist and the impact character. The protagonist believes the Lie; the impact character already knows the Truth.
Does the hero have at least one big “I understand you” moment with a love interest or primary emotional partner?
How does your story involve strong opposing forces that have understandable but conflicting desires?
If you’re having trouble making people understand why your antagonist poses a threat, there’s something wrong with your premise and it needs to be refined.
How is your antagonist the character who wants the most to prevent the hero from reaching his goal?
How is this character the most able to attack the weakness of the hero?
What the opponent wants, how does it compete for the same goal as the hero?
What are the antagonist’s values, and how do they differ from the hero? How does he have powerful values that conflict with the hero’s?
Consider whether the antagonist could have the same flaw as the protagonist.
When you think about an antagonist, you’re likely to focus on the ways in which he’s different from your protagonist. But some of the most important aspects of your story will emerge thanks to the ways in which the antagonist and the protagonist aren’t so different at all.
Your protagonist and your antagonist might both have been kids who felt the sting of the societal disrespect that comes from being poor. As a result, they both believe wealth equals respect. That common ground between them creates all kinds of interesting thematic possibilities. Both the temptations your protagonist will be subjected to and the warnings (full of foreshadowing) about what he could become are rife with thematic subtext.
Could the external antagonist be the embodiment of what the protagonist fears most?
Given the protagonist’s flaw and his external goal, think about the “photo negative” quality of the antagonist’s role. Who wants the same external goal, but can reveal an opposite or cautionary aspect to the protagonist and the reader.
Could the antagonist’s flaw be the same as the protagonist’s, or the exact opposite?
Can you make a hierarchy of opponents with a number of alliances? How are they related to one another and working together to defeat the hero? How does the main opponent sit at the top of this pyramid?
Could the antagonist be mysterious, making more difficult to defeat? Could you make defeating him a two part task: to uncover the opponent and then defeat him?
In the process of creating an antagonist who wants the same goal as the hero find the deepest level of conflict between them. What is the most important thing they are fighting about? How is that the focus of the story?
You can check out all my posts on writing through this link.
Once you’ve come up with a list of meaningful plot points that should happen in your story, the Acts structure (generally three, but could be strengthened by turning it into five) is a proven method to organize those plot points in a way that makes the story more cohesive, and usually building up in tension.
The following questions may help in developing the general structure.
Brainstorm the specific strategies and actions your hero will take to confront and antagonistic force (villain, threat or obstacle) standing in his way.
Write down a summary of what your hero does in pursuit of the goal, the major campaigns and efforts and confrontations he must navigate along the path toward resolving the dramatic question.
What is the antagonist’s plan in each act, what maneuvers does he execute to prevent the protagonist from achieving his goal? For each global goal in each act for the protagonist there should be a counterpoint by the antagonist(s).
How does the story consist of a great crisis, worked out through a series of minor crises?
How does this story involve characters being thrown into a world that represents the opposite of everything they believe and stand for?
Sometimes it’s easier to think of the structure in question-and-answer form. Q: What are the worst possible consequences of Macbeth’s decision to kill the King of Scotland? A: The massed ranks of his former allies will march upon him seeking revenge. Good structure will deliver a crisis point that forces the protagonist to choose between their old and new selves.
The beginning sets something up. It makes something move. What is a story trying to set up? The end, of course. The key to an effective beginning is that it must contain the seeds of your future climax.
How could the story start at the moment the problem becomes acute?
How would this story’s inciting incident embody all the characteristics the protagonist lacks?
Do away with the overly vague concept of the “inciting incident” and replace it with three specific parts: the long-standing personal problem, the intimidating opportunity, and the unexpected conflict that arises from pursuing that opportunity. Together these form what I call “the challenge”.
Rather than start with a happy status quo that gets ruined by an inciting incident, most stories begin the opposite way: The hero starts out with a long-standing social problem, and the inciting incident (even if it’s something horrible) presents itself as an opportunity to solve that problem.
Does the hero discover an intimidating opportunity to fix the problem? Simply restoring the status quo is never a strong motivation. In real life, as a general rule, our crises are not just temporary accidents that must be undone but crucial opportunities to fix long-standing problems. To build sympathy, the opportunity should be obviously intimidating. This shouldn’t be a no-brainer decision, but to avoid losing empathy, the full size of the potential conflict should not be immediately apparent.
Could you make sure that the inciting incident of the story is personal enough, that it isn’t defined externally? Otherwise the heroes would merely be reacting to outside events instead of choosing to act based on their volatile personal psychology.
First Plot Point preliminary: a definitive reaction to the first plot point will shape your character’s arc. You know you’ve found the right First Plot Point when it drags your character out of his former complacency and puts his feet on the path toward destroying his Lie–even though he probably won’t realize that’s what’s happening and, indeed, may be actively fighting that destination. Whether he realizes it or not, he has committed himself to change, even though he may still be trying to change in the wrong way.
How will the First Plot Point create a new world in which the character will be “punished” for acting according to his Lie?
A big crash usually happens at the midpoint. Not only does this change everything in terms of the external situation, but it slams the hero into a radically new outlook. The first half of a story can often be summarized as “the easy way,” and the second half as “the hard way”.
How would the midpoint contain the very essence of the quality the protagonist lacks, the opposite of their initial state, the “truth” of what they’re looking for, the hidden elixir in the enemy’s cave?
Could you make it so by halfway through, your heroes are making it up on the fly?
What happens (or will happen) in the climax of the novel that will show why your concept and kicker are unique and compelling?
Do your story’s beginning and ending contrast each other strongly enough?
If your protagonist had to face the events of the Climax in the beginning of the story, would he react to them in the same way he does at the end? If he would, something is seriously wrong with your story.
How do you misdirect the lowest points, the cliffhangers, or even the climaxes of each act? How do you make them impossible, or at least set up events in ways that make the reader feel that the story could have gone a different way?
Every roadblock, every obstacle, every setback, should escalate in difficulty. Start small and keep building.
Write a list of unexpected changes that might occur.
You can check out all my posts on writing through this link.
Once you’ve come up with a list of meaningful plot points that should happen in your story, the Acts structure (generally three, but could be strengthened by turning it into five) is a proven method to organize those plot points in a way that makes the story more cohesive, and usually building up in tension.
The following are prioritary points of a story that need to be covered in each specific act.
Act 1 (the setup)
Hook / Disturbance
What is the flaw / need of the protagonist, and how do you show it?
What is the inciting incident of which the turning point of the first act will be its consequence? (problem)
A notion about what will happen at the First Plot Point. When those two things are on the table—the concept and a First Plot Point twist—almost everything that follows, both in terms of planning and execution, happens in context to them.
What is the accepting of the call, the turning point that launches the desire line?
How is a major force of antagonism through the story revealed?
Act 2 (the confrontation)
Character realizes external goal
Display of flaw
Drive for goal
Part Two Exposition (response, journey begins)
Antagonist revealed
First Pinch Point
What are the forces of antagonism and how do they escalate?
Midpoint / Mirror Moment. Does it involve the protagonist changing toward curing his flaw?
Revisiting flaw
New drive for goal
Antagonist attacks
Second Pinch Point
Part Three Exposition (hero becomes proactive) / Attack
What is the worst possible point, the worst possible consequence of the story’s inciting incident, and that will make the climax possible? (The Second Plot Point)
List the plot complications of the second act, that leave the protagonist worse off than she was before.
Act 3 (the resolution)
Changed goal
Part Four Exposition (hero becomes catalyst for…)
What have you envisioned as the climax? Does the protagonist do something heroic? Does he solve or not the problem?
Ending/Resolution
Important notes:
Successful planning is when the mission-critical story beats—Hook, First Plot Point, First Pinch Point, Midpoint, Second Pinch Point, Second Plot Point, and the Climax scenes—have been optimized.
Come up with the major crises that would make the act breaks, in which MC’s flaw causes him to choose a path that’ll drive him further into trouble, until he changes by his choice at the final crisis, if he changes at all. For each of those decisions, brainstorm which could be the worst possible consequences.
See what dilemmas there are at the end of each act and try to make sure they are real dilemmas. No easy answers.
Try to come up with crisis plot points that seem impossible to come out of.
Define the goals for each of the acts, and make sure each successive goal is bigger than the last.
List every climax of every act, try to come up with events or information that would have made them completely unpredictable or impossible, and try to use them for red herrings and misdirection.
Make sure each successive goal in your story gets bigger. Most amateur stories start out big then fizzle. How do you prevent this? By making each successive goal for your characters bigger than the last.
You can check out all my posts on writing through this link.
A story is made out of meaningful stuff that happens. Each unit of meaningful stuff that happens is often referred to as a plot point. Here’s how to come up with them, before you consider fitting them into a structure.
What hard, horrible, impossible choices could be made in this story?
Brainstorm instances in which your characters must brainstorm between goods or between evils.
What’s the worst that could happen in the story?
What’s the worst thing that could happen to your main characters physically?
What’s the worst thing that your character could ever have to deal with emotionally?
How could you create greater possible losses, more collateral damage?
How could you steal from a main character something very important for him?
What wonders could you show a main character that you would then take from him?
How could you create higher stakes, bigger risks?
What can the protagonist lose that she thought was vital?
Everything your protagonist does can have consequences. Their actions, decisions, causes and mistakes can be leveraged for tension. Think of consequences for actions you already know the protagonist will take.
Brainstorm events that will illustrate on what side of thematic concepts are different characters positioned.
What’s the most difficult decision they could ever make – the one thing they repent for the rest of their lives?
What is the worst thing they could do to someone else?
The worst thing they could ever do to themselves?
Is there an opportunity for a moral argument between hero and opponent, that gives the audience a clue about what values are really at stake?
Is there an opportunity for the main oponent to give a moral justification for his actions?
Think up escalating immoral actions your hero takes that hurts someone else. How are they outgrowths of his great moral weakness?
What plot point could make a character question his beliefs and goals?
Find a point in your story at which your protagonist is stuck, stymied, undecided, overwhelmed, or in some other way suffused with inner need without having a means to move ahead.
Often the trouble that brews is in the form of surprising information. Brainstorm bits of information that might be delivered as a surprise.
Is there opportunity for circularity, using a similar event but show the protagonist making a different choice?
Can you set up a contrast between a character who thinks he’s being moral, supporting the beliefs of the society, and the effects of those actions and beliefs, which are decidedly immoral?
You can check out all my posts on writing through this link.
Without getting into complex structuring of a story (the act-based frameworks), you could produce a compelling story relying on a couple of alternating units: Scenes and Sequels.
I first came across the notion of Scenes and Sequels in Dwight V. Swain’s Techniques of the Selling Writer, which I read back when I was obsessed with writing technique. Jack M. Bickham expanded upon Swain’s notions in the book Scene and Structure, which I also recommend. The alternation of Scenes (action-driven) and Sequels (emotionally reflective), creates a rhythm of tension and resolution. Scenes drive plot; Sequels explore consequences.
A Scene is a unit of action where the protagonist pursues an immediate objective.
Goal: The character’s concrete, short-term aim (e.g., “Find the hidden map”).
Why it works: goals anchor the reader and create stakes.
Conflict: Obstacles blocking the goal (e.g., a rival steals the map).
Key detail: conflict should escalate through active opposition, not coincidence. It should be easy to determine if the conflict is meaningful: it should hinder the stated goal.
Disaster: A negative outcome forcing adaptation (e.g., the map is destroyed).
Purpose: avoids static victories; ensures ongoing tension. The disaster need not be catastrophic: it might be unintended consequences (e.g., gaining the map but betraying an ally).
It’s important to think of a disaster instead of plain resolutions, because a story should be composed of escalating tension. Setbacks help the story maintain momentum.
Ideally, a Scene’s disaster answers the dramatic question proposed by the goal (e.g., “Will the protagonist find the hidden map?”) with a resounding “No.” However, there are variations: “No, and in addition…” as in not only the goal fails, but something gets even worse. The disaster could be a “Yes, but…” However, you should avoid concluding a Scene with a plain “Yes,” unless it’s only a temporary “Yes” that doesn’t let the reader know what bad stuff the disaster has triggered in the future.
Each disaster should ideally worsen an overarching problem.
A Sequel processes the fallout of the previous scene’s disaster, focusing on inner turmoil.
Reaction: The character’s emotional response (e.g., despair, guilt).
Function: humanizes characters: show vulnerability before resilience. Offers opportunity for character development, emphasizing how that character reacts in an idiosyncratic way. Developing the emotional reactions prevents the characters from appearing robotic.
Dilemma: A problem with no good options (e.g., trust a traitor or go alone?).
Tip: dilemmas should test the values of the character or characters involved. Offers lots of opportunity for character development.
Dilemmas are often used to explore the story’s thematic questions (e.g., “Does ends justify means?”).
Decision: A new plan emerges (e.g., “Find the traitor and negotiate”).
Critical nuance: the decision must logically lead to the next Scene’s goal.
Alternating Scenes (fast-paced) and Sequels (slower, introspective) creates rhythm. Thrillers use shorter Sequels; literary fiction may elongate them for depth. Each Sequel’s decision becomes the next Scene’s goal, creating a chain reaction. This prevents episodic storytelling. Note: a Scene can be followed by another Scene, particularly when the context is clear, but a Sequel should always be followed by a Scene.
Keeping in mind the notion of Scenes and Sequels helps enormously when outlining a story: they force you to think in terms of goals, conflict, dilemmas, and setbacks, which are the fundamentals of a satisfying story.
In addition, knowing you’re writing a Scene helps you understand when to start its narrative: as close to the statement of the goal as possible. For example, if the character wants to convince another character to do something, you can start with the first character engaging the second, without much preamble. This is generally called starting in medias res with the goal already in motion.
Scene and Sequel ensure narratives remain driven by cause-effect logic and emotional authenticity, keeping readers perpetually engaged in the “what happens next?”
You can check out all my posts on writing through this link.
A story is made out of meaningful stuff that happens. Each unit of meaningful stuff that happens is often referred to as a plot point. Here’s how to come up with them, before you consider fitting them into a structure.
Is there a test that the protagonist could go through and that he doesn’t believe he can pass? What events would it suggest?
What does the protagonist have to confront to solve the problem set up for him?
What events could come up from bringing unresolved issues to the surface?
How could you push your characters to the limit?
Find that thing that your character would rather die than do, and make them do it.
Characters must confront the very thing they would least like to, and confronting this thing is a kind of hell. More precisely, it is their own personal hell. But through this confrontation, they are transformed.
How can you make the conflicts varied and surprising?
Imagine situations in which internal conflict will attack severely a character.
Disturbances don’t have to happen just at the beginning. You can sprinkle them throughout. When in doubt about what to write next, make more trouble.
Come up with a long list of obstacles and opposition characters that can be thrown in the lead’s way. Go crazy. When you’ve got fifteen or twenty of these, choose the best ones and list them in order from bad to worse to worst.
Does the conflict force the protagonist to take action, whether it’s to rationalize it away or actually change? Imagine what would you want to avoid if you were your protagonist, and then make her face it.
A story’s job is to put the protagonist through tests that, even in her wildest dreams, she doesn’t think she can pass.
Do expose your character’s flaws, demons, and insecurities. Stories are about people who are uncomfortable, and as we know, nothing makes us more uncomfortable than change. A story is often about watching someone’s house fall around their ears, beam by beam. Besides the fact that perfection is not actually possible, things that are not falling apart are dull. It’s your job to dismantle all the places where your protagonist seeks sanctuary and to actively force him out into the cold. But a hero only becomes a hero by doing something heroic, rising to the occasion, against all odds, and confronting one’s own inner demons in the process. It’s up to you to keep your protagonist on track by making sure each external twist brings him face to face with something about himself that he’d probably rather not see.
Don’t forget there’s no such thing as a free lunch. This is another way of saying everything must be earned, which means that nothing can come to your protagonist easily, after all, the reader’s goal is to experience how he reacts when things go wrong. Stories can help us expand the range of options in life by testing, in small increments, how closely one can approach the brink of disaster without falling over it. This means the protagonist has to work for everything he gets, often in ways he didn’t anticipate, much harder than anything he would have signed on for. The only time things come easily is when they are the opposite of what is actually best for him.
For maximum conflict, always put your hero in the last place he wants to be.
For some great conflict, place your characters in an environment that is their opposite.
The scene where a character must ask for help from someone he screwed over earlier always works.
You gotta throw your characters in the shit. You gotta kick them. You gotta demoralize them.
Take a character who hates something more than anything, then put him in a situation where he must pretend to love it.
Take a character who desperately wants to get somewhere, then have him held up by someone who wants to talk.
Deliberately write your characters into situations that are impossible to get out of, then figure a way to get them out of them.
Place your hero in plenty of “character emergencies.” A “character emergency” is when your character is placed in a situation where he has no choice but to act.
What is your character good at, comfortable with? Throw the polar opposite at them. Challenge them. How do they deal?
Think of ways to create lots of internal conflict (hard choices).
Who can betray the protagonist?
Make your characters clash. Think of ways of doing so.
How would the other character(s) and the world react to what the protagonist (or other characters) are doing?
How could you pull the rug out from under your protagonist when he’s at his most vulnerable?
How do you make it harder for your protagonist? See what bad thing could happen, and let it happen. Try to make it worse than he imagined it could possibly be, worse than you imagined it could be at first blush.
Look for conflict that flows from the plot, and that comes down to character, to character motivations, goals and reactions.
You can check out all my posts on writing through this link.
A story is made out of meaningful stuff that happens. Each unit of meaningful stuff that happens is often referred to as a plot point. Here’s how to come up with them, before you consider fitting them into a structure.
Could weather create delays and accidents? Could it obscure vision, or make someone weak or faint?
What setting in your story could make some character to feel sad, fearful, nostalgic, angry, guilty, etc.? Think about the plot points that could be derived from that.
Find in your setting specific places that have extra significance, or places where events recur. To make a place iconic, make something big happen there.
Prior to the climax of the novel, find, brainstorm, try to apply six points at which your protagonist can demonstrate some heroic quality.
How will you show what your characters feel? What will express their thoughts? What will reveal their inner struggles?
Have your characters do things only they would do. Every character action represents that character. So when they act, have them act in a manner unique to them. Use every character action in your story to sell us on the unique nature of that character.
What events would reveal character?
Create stakes-raising dilemmas that give your protagonists opportunities to use their unique abilities. Let that explain why this character succeeded where others failed.
Can you allow characters to do the things that characters with different labels (protagonist, villain, etc.) would do?
How would a reflection character show the protagonist why and maybe how he can make it through the door, when he might slip back, have fear and doubt, second-guess himself?
Figure out plot points in which the allies are there for your hero, stick by him, speak truth in love, reflect back what the hero needs to see in order to understand and move one step closer to his goal?
In what plot point could the most “ally” character oppose your character regarding her goal?
Can you find a moment for each of your main characters to want the opposite of their hearts’ desire? Can you make it bigger, more emotional?
Where can you have characters say something other than what they mean (subtext)? Hint at something secret?
Can you find/add five places in your novel where a character acts rashly, inconsistently, contrary?
Imagine a moment when your protagonist is moved, unsettled or disturbed. This might occur when he’s facing a difficult choice, needing something badly, suffering a setback or surprise, having a self-realization, learning something shocking, or feeling in any way overwhelmed. Write down all the emotions inherent in this moment, both obvious and hidden.
What’s the biggest way in which your protagonist can act out? What can she destroy? Whom can she attack? What truthful thing can she say? What will shock others in the story?
Let your characters make mistakes: protagonists, antagonists, and secondary characters.
What events would push someone’s buttons relative to worldview and personal belief systems?
What would a character’s belief/past experience cause him to do?
What secrets does a character have, what lies he has told, to others and even to himself, that might cause plot point issues?
Think of plot points that would suggest the main character will get just more entrenched in his flaw, making it impossible to change, and others which suggest the possibility of changing.
What key moment in your novel showcases the primary reflection character/ally’s support?
What is your protagonist good at doing? Throw them the opposite of what they’re best at and make them deal with it.
Think up a moment in your novel in which the hero and the antagonist agree on something.
Think of a moment in which the antagonist is actually vulnerable and / or empathetic.
What is the primary antagonist and what key moment showcases the big conflict and issue between them?
The impact character may or may not be actively trying to get the protagonist to see that Truth, but he’s going to be there at crucial moments in the story to help the protagonist see the error of his ways. He has the answers the protagonist is looking for (even though the protagonist won’t know that at the beginning of the story), and those answers are going to end up being pivotal to the protagonist’s ability to conquer the antagonist and the external conflict in his quest for his story goal.
A character can’t change without something that impacts him by consistently and convincingly conflicting with his belief in the Lie.
What events could show off or amplify the inner journey?
Start by determining self-revelation, at the end of the story, then go back to the beginning and figure out the hero’s need and desire.
Brainstorm actions that prove the transformation.
Plant a redemptive action, the actions which could solve MC’s “fatal flaw”, and have the other person fail to do it.
Think of a way of showing a character’s change by putting him in a similar situation but acting differently, even to the point of disagreeing with his previous action in similar circumstances.
What event could bring about change for your protagonist?
What event could bring about change for a secondary character?
Throughout the story, the protagonist and his blind faith in his Lie are going to keep running smack into the impact character’s Truth. The protagonist may want to be left in peace with his Lie, but the impact character’s persistent presence keeps churning up the protagonist’s awareness of the Truth–and creating internal conflict.
I recommend you to check out the previous parts if you don’t know what this “neural narratives” thing is about. In short, I wrote in Python a system to have multi-character conversations with large language models (like Llama 3.3), in which the characters are isolated in terms of memories and bios, so no leakage to other participants. The large language models are fantastic at staying in character. Here’s the GitHub repo.
These days, as part of my worship of Dibella, I tend to use the Python app to set up erotic scenarios that usually finish when I finish. For this one, though, I wanted to create a more normal character than the larger-than-life ones that populate most other scenarios. I ended up just having a good time with her. Although it feels somewhat sacrilegious, I decided to mix her story of grief with another story of grief. Note: even though I’ve put myself as the player character, it’s an improved version. I’m not tooting my own horn here.
Pictured: Ainhoa Mendizabal, resilient single mom.
The fluorescent lights hum faintly overhead, casting a sterile glow over the orderly aisles of Greenleaf Grocery. A faint whiff of freshly baked bread mingles with the sharp tang of citrus from the produce section, while the rhythmic beep of scanners at the checkout counters punctuates the air. A shopping cart rattles faintly as a customer pushes it past, its wheels squeaking against the polished linoleum floor.
Jon’s large frame moves with deliberate precision as he reaches for a chilled bottle of decaf coffee, his calloused fingers brushing against the condensation on the glass. He places it carefully in his basket, the faint clink of the bottle against the metal frame echoing softly in the aisle. As he turns, his sharp eyes catch sight of an older woman maneuvering her cart toward him. Without hesitation, he steps aside, his broad shoulders pressing against the shelf to give her ample space. The woman offers a grateful nod, but Jon’s gaze remains fixed ahead, his expression unreadable, as if the small act of courtesy is just another part of his solitary routine.
Ainhoa Mendizabal adjusts her shopping cart’s trajectory, deliberately maneuvering closer to the tall stranger while pretending to examine items on the nearby shelf. Her fingers absently trace the edge of her cropped jacket as she steals another glance in his direction.
“Sorry, could I just… reach past you for the…” She trails off, as she realizes she hasn’t actually chosen what she’s reaching for.
Jon steps aside, leaving space for Ainhoa.
“No problem.”
She’s a woman in her maybe mid-thirties, with a body sculpted in the gym: her arms look toned even in her cropped jacket, her midriff has defined abs, and her legs are firm. Jon observes her as she stands there, apparently not knowing what to pick.
Ainhoa Mendizabal brushes a strand of hair behind her ear, her fingers lingering nervously at her neck as she glances at the shelves, then back at the tall stranger.
“Oh, I…” Laughs softly. “I actually don’t know what I’m reaching for. Silly, right? I just… well, it’s been a while since I’ve done this. The shopping, I mean. Usually I have two little ones pulling me in different directions, making it impossible to think straight. But they’re at school now, so…” She trails off, then straightens her shoulders. “I’m Ainhoa, by the way.”
Jon smiles softly at Ainhoa as his deep gaze explores her face.
“Life would be easier if we just could approach strangers and introduce ourselves without excuses, right? My name is Jon. Jon Ureña. Nice to meet you, Ainhoa. Let me say that I wouldn’t have thought you have children.”
Ainhoa Mendizabal laughs softly, a faint blush coloring her cheeks as she absently touches the toned muscles of her arms.
“Oh, thank you! The kids… they keep me busy enough that sometimes I forget I don’t look like the typical mom. But you’re right about the excuses thing. I guess old habits die hard when you’ve been out of practice this long. Ureña… that’s Basque too, isn’t it? Do you live around here?”
Jon smiles kindly at Ainhoa.
“Ureña actually comes from the town of Urueña, founded during the Reconquista. It’s from mainland Spain. Nevertheless, I’m part Navarrean, part Basque, part from the east coast of Spain. Born here, though. You’ve been out of practice, you said. Out of practice on what, talking to strangers?”
Ainhoa Mendizabal shifts her weight slightly, her fingers playing with the handle of her shopping cart as a mix of vulnerability and subtle flirtation crosses her face.
“Out of practice with… well, talking to interesting people in general, I suppose. After my husband passed away, my world kind of shrank to just me and the kids. You know how it is – or maybe you don’t. But lately I’ve been trying to… expand my horizons again. Though I have to admit, I’m not usually this forward about it. Something about you just seems… familiar? Maybe it’s the Basque connection.”
Jon turns toward Ainhoa. At her mention of being a widow, a cloud passes over his eyes, and he narrows them slightly.
“I’m sorry to hear that, Ainhoa. That is a pain I wouldn’t wish on anybody… and that in many ways separates humanity into those who have experienced and those who haven’t. You must be very strong, apart from your physical strength, to keep so in shape while taking care of two children after what happened to you.”
Ainhoa Mendizabal touches the lean muscle of her shoulder self-consciously, her eyes meeting Jon’s with a mixture of vulnerability and quiet strength.
“Strong…” Let’s out a soft laugh. “I suppose that’s one way to put it. Though most days it feels less like strength and more like… necessity? You learn to keep moving forward because standing still isn’t an option when tiny humans are counting on you. The gym helps though – it’s become my sanctuary in a way. Twenty minutes with a barbell and suddenly the world makes sense again, you know? Even when nothing else does. But I have to ask… you seem to understand that kind of pain a little too well. The way you said that about humanity being divided…”
Jon averts his gaze for a moment. His eyes have taken a faraway look. He then returns his gaze to Ainhoa.
“I do understand that kind of pain, but I’m not… that readily available to speak about it. However, I also understand the drive to pump weights at the gym, particularly after such an experience. I have done quite a bit of that myself, not sure if anyone can tell anymore… But while lifting heavy weights, that pain that courses through the body, added to… other pain… it feels like the sole genuine language, you know? Each pang of pain speaks the truth.”
Ainhoa Mendizabal shifts closer to Jon, her toned arms tensing slightly as she grips the shopping cart handle. Her eyes soften with recognition of shared pain.
“The truth… yes, that’s exactly it. Like each rep is this… confession of sorts? All that weight you’re carrying inside somehow makes more sense when you’re lifting actual weight outside.” Soft exhale. “But you don’t have to tell me about it if you’re not ready. Sometimes just knowing someone else understands is… well, it’s enough, isn’t it? Though I have to say, those hours at the gym have definitely paid off for you too.”
Jon glances at the width of his left arm as if he hadn’t paid attention to his physique in a good while. He then returns a warm gaze to Ainhoa.
“I suppose we are kindred spirits of a sort…” He gestures toward the end of the aisle. “Do you want us to keep shopping while we talk?”
Ainhoa Mendizabal brushes her fingertips along the shelf’s edge as she walks beside Jon, her toned muscles flexing unconsciously as she reaches to examine random items.
“Yes, let’s keep walking. Though I have to admit, I’m not even sure what I came here to buy anymore.” Soft laugh. “Funny how that happens, right? You walk in with a whole list in your head and then… poof! All gone the moment something more interesting comes along. But maybe that’s not such a bad thing. Sometimes the best conversations happen when you’re not rushing to check items off a list.”
Jon grabs a box of cereal and places it in his shopping basket. He waits for Ainhoa to approach him as she pushes her own shopping cart, that is mostly empty.
“You seem interesting to me as well, Ainhoa. If you don’t mind the question… do you identify with people that, many years or even decades after their partners pass away, they still consider themselves married?”
Ainhoa Mendizabal’s fingers trace the edge of her shopping cart as she considers Jon’s question, her expression softening with vulnerability mixed with thoughtful consideration.
“That’s… that’s a complicated question, isn’t it?” Soft exhale. “I think part of me will always feel married to Iñaki in some way – he was my children’s father, my first love, the man who helped shape who I am today. But…” Ainhoa pauses, meeting Jon’s gaze. “I also know he wouldn’t want me to stop living just because he had to. It took me a long time to accept that loving him and being open to new possibilities aren’t mutually exclusive. Though I have to admit, even saying that out loud feels… strange. Like I’m confessing something I’ve only ever whispered to myself late at night when the kids are asleep.”
Jon offers Ainhoa a deep, somber gaze from his intense eyes, then he reaches for a packet of serrano ham.
“Dealing with regret… it’s like being tied to a signpost you can’t even locate, let alone visit anymore… Sometimes I think still that it would have been better to never wake up again after… after what happened. But turns out that if you put one foot in front of the other, you keep moving along with the rest of the world. Even though it makes no sense to live when the sole person who mattered in it is gone.”
Ainhoa Mendizabal instinctively reaches out and touches Jon’s forearm, before she catches herself and withdraws her hand.
“I understand that feeling more than you know… that desperate wish to just… stop. But you said something there that really hit home – about putting one foot in front of the other. That’s exactly what it is, isn’t it? Some days those steps feel impossibly heavy, like you’re wading through concrete. But then you look up and somehow you’ve made it through another day, another week…” Soft exhale. “And maybe that’s the point? Not trying to make sense of any of it, but just… keeping those feet moving. Though I have to admit, having someone who truly gets it… someone who knows that particular kind of darkness… it makes those steps feel a little less lonely, doesn’t it?”
After Ainhoa reaches to touch his forearm, Jon stops shopping, and turns to face Ainhoa. His expression remains guarded. His gaze is unafraid, but also weary.
“Leaving aside pretense, that this is about two strangers meeting for no particular reason… You’re looking for something. Is it truly a good idea for you to look for someone who is also tied to a ghost? Perhaps it would be better for your sanity and well-being to meet up, perhaps in apps or bars, someone who doesn’t know what you and I know.”
Ainhoa Mendizabal leans against her shopping cart, her muscled shoulders tensing slightly as she considers Jon’s words. Her fingers drum thoughtfully against the metal handle.
“Maybe you’re right about the apps and bars… they feel so artificial, don’t they? Like everyone’s wearing these masks, pretending grief doesn’t exist. But here’s the thing – I’m not looking for someone to magically fix everything or make the pain disappear. That’s not how it works, is it? What I’m looking for… what I think we both might need… is someone who understands that some ghosts stay with us, and that’s okay. Someone who knows that healing isn’t about forgetting, but about making room for new memories alongside the old ones. Though I have to admit, I didn’t exactly plan on having this conversation in the middle of the grocery store between the cereal and the serrano ham.”
Jon fixes a deep gaze that bores through Ainhoa’s eyes. His eyes hint at a deep pain that’s almost ancient.
“Ainhoa, I’ve been mourning my other half for longer than she lived. Even after all this time, the world doesn’t make sense. That’s the kind of person I am. I lift weights, I go to work, I am… entertained at times. But I don’t know how to be happy.”
Ainhoa Mendizabal steps closer to Jon, her athletic frame tensing slightly as vulnerability flickers across her features. Her fingers absently touch the necklace at her throat – the one that was Iñaki’s.
“Maybe that’s exactly why we should take this chance.” Soft exhale. “Look, I’m not saying we have to figure everything out right now between the serrano ham and breakfast cereals. But there’s something… real here. Something honest. And honestly? I’d rather spend time with someone who knows that happiness isn’t always possible than pretend with someone who thinks grief has an expiration date. Besides…” slight smile, “I’ve learned that sometimes the best things in life come from the most unexpected places. Like finding a kindred spirit in aisle three of a grocery store on a random Tuesday morning.”
Jon smiles softly, but genuinely, at the intriguing woman.
“Well, I’m done warning you for now… Truth is, Ainhoa, I find you very interesting, and it’s rare for me to get interested in anyone. You also look great. Do you want us to exchange numbers, or even go for a coffee afterwards? Who knows, maybe soon enough we’ll find ourselves heading to the gym together. It would be good to have a reliable spotter.”
Ainhoa Mendizabal’s face lights up with a genuine smile, her athletic frame relaxing visibly at Jon’s suggestion. Her fingers brush against her necklace briefly before dropping to adjust the strap of her gym bag.
“Now that’s the kind of warning I don’t mind hearing. And yes to both – coffee and exchanging numbers. Though I have to warn you too… I take my spotting duties very seriously. No half-hearted encouragement from me – when I say ‘one more rep,’ I mean it!” Ainhoa pulls out her phone. “Here, let me give you my number. And there’s this little café nearby that makes these amazing pintxos… unless you had somewhere else in mind?”
Jon slips his phone back into his pocket after saving Ainhoa’s number, his movements deliberate yet slightly hesitant, as if unsure of this new step. They move through the aisles together, their carts now filled with items they’ve helped each other choose, a quiet camaraderie forming between them. Outside, the midday sun bathes the cobblestone streets in golden light, and Jon instinctively reaches for Ainhoa’s grocery bags, his broad hands brushing against hers. She smiles, her toned arms flexing slightly as she resists for a moment before relenting, her playful smirk betraying her amusement at his old-fashioned gesture. They walk side by side, the rhythmic clatter of their footsteps blending with the distant hum of the city, the promise of coffee and conversation drawing them closer to the café.
Ainhoa leads Jon through the sunlit streets, her confident stride matching the rhythm of their conversation. The Blue Moon Café welcomes them with the rich aroma of roasted coffee beans and the soft hum of acoustic music. At the counter, Ainhoa gestures toward the display of pintxos, her toned arm brushing against Jon’s as they lean in to choose. They settle into a corner table, their shopping bags resting at their feet, the cozy nook offering a sense of privacy amidst the café’s gentle bustle. The warm light from the overhead fixture catches the faint sheen of sweat on Jon’s brow, a reminder of the weight he carries, both physically and emotionally.
Ainhoa Mendizabal traces her finger along the rim of her untouched coffee cup, her athletic frame leaning forward slightly as she speaks. Her dark eyes remain fixed on Jon, studying the way the café light catches the pain etched in his features.
“You know what’s funny? Before today, I probably would’ve laughed if someone told me I’d find a real connection while shopping for serrano ham. But there’s something… different about this. About you. The way you just get it – the weight of carrying those memories, the struggle to find meaning when everything’s been turned upside down. And maybe… maybe that’s exactly what makes this feel right? Not despite our broken pieces, but because of them. Though I have to warn you – if we’re going to be workout partners, you should know I take my training seriously. No slacking allowed, even on leg day!”
Jon takes a sip of his coffee as his features light up with amusement.
“A grocery shop, or a park, are better places to find genuine connection than bars or, God forbid, dating apps. Nobody should try the apps unless they only want a connection of the physical variety. In grocery shops and parks you find people just living their normal lives. And regarding our shared struggle to find meaning… One must be careful about that, because the darkness also seeks company, right? And it prefers to stay down there, in the hole… Regarding the gym…” He smirks with a hint of mischief. “I can tell that you train your lower half very thoroughly. Maybe you didn’t notice passersby staring as we headed here, but I did.”
Ainhoa Mendizabal blushes slightly at Jon’s comment about her lower body, but her athletic confidence doesn’t waver. She shifts in her seat, unconsciously straightening her already perfect posture, while her fingers play with the necklace at her throat.
“Oh, so you noticed that, did you?” Soft laugh. “Well, those squats and deadlifts don’t lie. Though I have to say, your form isn’t bad either – I caught a glimpse of those shoulders when you were reaching for the top shelf earlier. But you’re right about the apps and bars… there’s something artificial about them. This though?” Ainhoa gestures between them. “This feels more… authentic. Real. Speaking of which, how do you usually structure your training? I typically hit the gym around 6am, after dropping the kids at their grandmother’s. Though I suppose I should warn you – I tend to get pretty intense during my workouts. It’s become my therapy of sorts, you know?”
Jon takes another sip of his coffee, then puts the cup down.
“I usually also hit the gym before work. I prefer to get the important things done before… well, before the often mind-numbing routine of the job squeezes me out. It would be nice to meet up for workouts regularly. I must say, though… You’re much stronger than me, being able to juggle your two kids, the gym, and a job.”
Ainhoa Mendizabal leans back slightly in her chair, her athletic frame relaxing as a genuine smile plays across her features. Her fingers brush against Iñaki’s necklace before dropping to wrap around her coffee cup.
“You know what? That means more than you realize. Sometimes I feel like I’m barely keeping my head above water, juggling everything. But the gym… it’s become my anchor. Those early morning sessions are sometimes the only moments I get that are truly mine. Though having the kids actually makes it easier in a way – they give me a reason to keep pushing forward when everything else feels impossible.” Soft laugh. “But hey, don’t sell yourself short. That kind of dedication to training before work? That takes its own kind of strength. What would you say to meeting up tomorrow morning? I usually start with compound lifts – squats, deadlifts, the works. Unless you’re one of those guys who skips leg day?”
Jon shoots Ainhoa a sideways glance, somewhat playfully.
“I must not be doing it right if you can’t tell that I never skip leg day. Let’s meet tomorrow morning then. I do mainly High-Intensity Training for bulking up, focusing on compound exercises. I need to be careful with the squats, as my right knee isn’t as strong as it used to be.”
Ainhoa Mendizabal tilts her head playfully, her athletic frame shifting forward as she reaches across the table to tap Jon’s forearm gently. Her dark eyes dance with amusement, though they retain that hint of carefully guarded vulnerability.
“Oh, you do those legs justice, trust me – I’ve got a trained eye for proper form! But I like that you’re careful with the knee. Smart training is sustainable training, that’s what I always say.” Soft laugh. “How about we meet at GazteluFit at 6:15? They’ve got that amazing squat rack in the corner – perfect lighting too, in case either of us feels inspired to add to our social media stories. Though fair warning – I tend to grunt when I’m pushing through those last few reps. Some people find it intimidating, but hey, that’s what headphones are for, right?”
When Ainhoa reaches to tap his forearm, he narrows his eyes warmly, welcoming the intimacy.
“GazteluFit, huh? I’ve gone there from time to time, I guess never at the same time as you… But I won’t wear headphones. In fact,” he smirks, “I look forward to hearing you grunt.”
Ainhoa Mendizabal’s cheeks flush a deeper shade of pink as she leans forward, her athletic frame emphasizing the curve of her shoulders. Her fingers toy with the necklace at her throat as a playful smirk tugs at her lips.
“Oh, so you want to hear me grunt, do you?” Ainhoa’s voice drops to a teasing whisper. “Be careful what you wish for – I’ve been known to intimidate even the burliest guys when I’m in the zone. But I like that confidence… and that you’re not afraid of a little intensity. 6:15 tomorrow then? I’ll even try to tone down my battle cries… maybe.”
* * *
The early morning sunlight streams through the large glass windows of GazteluFit, casting long, golden beams across the polished wooden floors. The rhythmic clang of weights echoes through the space, mingling with the steady hum of treadmills and the occasional grunt of exertion. A faint scent of fresh sweat and cleaning solution lingers in the air, grounding the scene in the raw energy of disciplined effort.
Jon meets Ainhoa at the entrance of the vast exercise room. He’s wearing a black tanktop that shows off his sculpted shoulders, as well as his prominent biceps and triceps.
“Good morning, Ainhoa. I’m glad we could do this.” He eyes her outfit with an unreadable expression, and doesn’t comment on it even though it feels that he would like to. “Shall we head in?”
Ainhoa Mendizabal nervously adjusts her yellow sports bra and tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Her fingers briefly brush against Iñaki’s necklace before dropping to her side.
“Good morning, Jon!” She beams at him, her heart racing from more than just pre-workout anticipation. “I hope you’re ready for an intense session. I usually start with compound movements – you know, the big lifts that really get your heart pumping.” Her eyes drift briefly over his muscular arms before quickly returning to his face. “Have you worked with a training partner before?”
Jon and Ainhoa walk into the exercise room, past a few people running on treadmills.
“Yes, I was going for compound first. Do you want to do squats? I was thinking of alternating between deadlifts and squats myself; perhaps we can switch. And no, I’ve never worked with a training partner before… I’m afraid I have always been a lone wolf when it comes to weightlifting, but I can already tell that it will be more interesting with you.”
Ainhoa Mendizabal leads Jon to the squat racks, her hips swaying slightly as she walks. She adjusts her ponytail and touches Iñaki’s necklace before settling into position beside the weights.
“A lone wolf, hmm? Well, you’re in for a treat then – having someone to spot you and push your limits makes all the difference! And yes, let’s start with squats. I usually do five sets, increasing weight each time until failure.” She grins playfully. “Just don’t be intimidated when you see how much this mama can lift. But switching between exercises sounds perfect – keeps the blood pumping, you know? Plus it gives us a chance to catch our breath… and chat a bit more.”
Ainhoa keeps her form perfect as she pushes through her first set of squats. Jon, beside her, does deadlifts, his leg muscles and triceps rippling and bulging as he controls his breathing. He glances at the way Ainhoa’s leggings highlight her firm glutes and thighs.
“I’m right here for when you want me to spot you.”
Ainhoa Mendizabal completes her set of squats with controlled movements, her face flushed from exertion. She catches her breath and adjusts Iñaki’s necklace before responding.
“Thanks, Jon. Having someone ready to spot really helps push those limits.” She exhales deeply. “Though I have to admit, your form with those deadlifts is quite impressive. Looks like I’m not the only one who takes their training seriously! Want to switch exercises after this set? I’d love to see if your squat game matches your deadlift prowess.”
After Jon’s set of deadlifts, they switch. Jon sets the barbell on his broad shoulders. Jon is considerably taller than Ainhoa, so when she stands behind him to spot him, she feels that the barbell is quite high. As Jon lowers himself for the first repetition, Ainhoa realizes that she was standing too close to Jon when his glutes bump against her crotch, which makes her step back. Jon finishes his rep, then chuckles over his shoulder.
“Well, I guess I should be glad that our positions weren’t switched, or else this would have been much more awkward.”
Ainhoa Mendizabal lets out a nervous laugh, her hand instinctively reaching for Iñaki’s necklace as her cheeks flush a deeper shade of pink. She takes another step back to maintain proper spotting distance.
“Oh god, I’m so sorry about that! Guess I need to work on my spotting position as much as my squats.” She laughs softly. “Though you’re right – at least with our height difference, you won’t have that problem spotting me. Unless you’re planning on squatting really low!”
Jon lowers himself into a deep squat, his powerful thighs straining against the weight of the barbell as Ainhoa stands close behind, her hands hovering near his shoulders, ready to assist. Her eyes flicker between his form and the two veteran weightlifters nearby, their muscular frames and confident postures exuding an air of dominance. The man, with arms like tree trunks, casually refers to the woman as ‘Amazon,’ her towering presence and chiseled physique commanding attention. Ainhoa feels a mix of admiration and unease as the pair exchange knowing glances, their conversation laced with the kind of gym jargon that suggests they live and breathe this world. Jon, oblivious to their presence, focuses solely on his breathing and the burn in his legs, his determination a quiet counterpoint to the unspoken challenge radiating from the veterans.
(Pictured: Garazi “Amazon” Ibarrola, a larger-than-life teenage-boy-eater that I produced for when the mood strikes that way. In my system, you can just copy characters from other scenarios, and they behave naturally.)
Jon finishes his set. He straightens up, his face flushed, and breathes out. He stands aside to let Ainhoa do her next set, then he moves to her back, looming over her smaller form, to spot her if necessary.
“There you go, Ainhoa. You can go as hard as you need; I will be here to take care of the barbell if you fail.”
Ainhoa Mendizabal positions herself under the barbell, adjusting her stance while her fingers briefly touch the necklace at her throat. A light sheen of sweat makes her skin glow in the morning light filtering through the gym windows.
“Thank you, Jon. Having a strong spotter really helps push those limits!” She takes a deep breath, centering herself. “Though I have to warn you – I’ve been known to surprise people with how much I can lift.” Her voice carries a playful challenge as she grips the barbell. “Ready when you are, handsome… I mean, ready to spot!” She quickly corrects herself, cheeks flushing deeper than just from exertion.
Jon chuckles behind Ainhoa.
“I’m ready, gorgeous. Right behind you.”
Ainhoa starts her set while Jon’s big, solid mass looms behind her, his breath reaching her nape at times. She steadies herself under the barbell, her muscles tensing as she works through her set. A bead of sweat trickles down her temple as she maintains perfect form through each repetition while she breathes steadily through her squats.
“You know what’s funny? Yesterday I could barely imagine myself getting back to working out with someone else. But this…” she exhales deeply as she completes another rep, “this feels natural somehow. Though I have to admit, your compliments aren’t helping my concentration!” She lets out a breathy laugh as she pushes through another rep. “At this rate, I might need that spot sooner than I planned.”
Ainhoa’s legs tremble as she pushes to complete her set, and Jon hurries to step closer to her back and place his hands under the barbell in case he’ll need to lift it. Ainhoa finishes the set, and puts down the barbell.
“You are very strong, Ainhoa. Those thighs of yours, dare I say, could crush a watermelon at this point.”
They both notice that the woman someone had referred to as “Amazon” is standing close by, observing them like a veteran gym-goer, an expression of pride in her eyes. Her huge arms are crossed under her muscular breasts.
“Well well, what do we have here?” She laughs heartily as she flexes her biceps by instinct. “Look at you two lovebirds, getting all hot and sweaty together! Mmm, and those thighs of yours, chica…” Garazi breaks into an impish grin. “They’re coming along nicely, though they’ve got nothing on these babies yet.” She flexes her quads dramatically. “But hey, it’s always good to see fresh meat… I mean, new faces at the gym taking their training seriously. Especially when they’ve got such an… attentive spotter.” Garazi winks at Jon. “Keep it up, you two. Maybe I’ll even share some of my special training techniques… if you’re brave enough to handle them.”
Jon wipes the sweat from his forehead as he raises his eyebrows at Garazi.
“It’s a bit unfair to compare us regular folks to you, miss… Amazon, someone called you? You are, and I say it respectfully, a beast. Past a certain point of training, one needs to have been blessed my the right genes, I’m afraid.”
Garazi Ibarrola throws her head back and laughs heartily, her muscular frame rippling as she flexes her impressive biceps.
“Genes? Oh honey, you’re too kind! But let me tell you something – these magnificent muscles weren’t just handed to me on a silver platter. I worked my ass off for every inch of this physique.” She flexes dramatically. “Though I suppose being blessed with superior genetics doesn’t hurt… especially when it comes to attracting cute young things to train with. Speaking of which, you two make quite the pair! The way you spot each other, all that sexual tension… mmm, it takes me back to yesterday with my sweet boy Iker.” She winks suggestively. “But hey, don’t let me interrupt your workout. Keep pushing those limits, and maybe one day you’ll be half as strong as this Amazon warrior. Though I doubt it!”
Ainhoa Mendizabal wipes sweat from her brow and instinctively touches Iñaki’s necklace, her cheeks flushed from both the workout and the attention. She straightens her posture, highlighting her athletic frame while maintaining a respectful distance from both Jon and Garazi.
“Superior genetics?” She laughs nervously. “I’d say it’s more about determination and consistency. Though I have to admit, seeing results like yours is… inspiring.” Ainhoa glances briefly at Jon before returning her attention to Garazi. “But maybe we should focus on finishing our sets? Unless you’re offering to demonstrate some of those special techniques right now?”
Garazi excuses herself, and with a knowing smirk, she wanders off. Ainhoa and Jon switch positions. He’s about to do a set of squats while Ainhoa spots him.
“That Amazon… one imposing woman,” he says. “And a boy-eater, it seems. I don’t know if I should feel sorry for the teenagers that come here looking to start their training…”
Ainhoa Mendizabal adjusts her stance to spot Jon properly, her hand briefly touching the necklace at her throat as she watches Garazi’s retreating form.
“Sorry about those poor teenage boys, but they’re the least of my concerns right now!” She laughs nervously. “Though I have to admit, her dedication to training is impressive, even if her… approach is a bit intense.” Ainhoa steadies herself behind Jon. “But enough about the Amazon warrior – let’s focus on your form. These legs of yours aren’t going to sculpt themselves into watermelon crushers without proper technique!”
Jon and Ainhoa move seamlessly from the squat racks to the dumbbell area, their bodies glistening with sweat under the gym’s bright lights. Jon adjusts the bench for Ainhoa, his hands lingering slightly longer than necessary as he ensures her comfort. Ainhoa, in turn, offers Jon a towel and a playful smile, her fingers brushing against his as she hands it over. The clatter of weights and the hum of machines around them fade into the background as they focus on each other, their movements synchronized and deliberate. The gym’s energy seems to amplify their connection, each rep and set bringing them closer, both physically and emotionally.
It’s almost seven in the morning. Jon rolls his shoulder. His skin, as well as the hair on his arms and legs, is sheened with sweat.
“That was one hell of a workout, Ainhoa, but I’m afraid I’m beat for today… And I also have to head to work in a while.”
Ainhoa Mendizabal wipes her brow with a towel, her fingers instinctively finding Iñaki’s necklace as she catches her breath. Her cheeks remain flushed from the intensity of their shared workout.
“Already?” She laughs softly. “And here I was just getting warmed up! But you’re right, it’s been quite the session. I haven’t pushed myself like this in… well, longer than I care to admit.” Ainhoa pauses, gathering courage. “Listen, Jon… I was thinking maybe we could make this a regular thing? Same time tomorrow? I mean, if you’re not too sore from today’s beating!” She touches her necklace nervously. “Having a reliable training partner really does make all the difference.”
Jon places a warm, strong hand on Ainhoa’s sweaty shoulder, her fibers solid against his palm.
“Sure, we can make these sessions a regular thing, but don’t hesitate to break it off if there’s some trouble with your kids. And you know, we could also meet outside of the gym.” His eyes are warm and honest as he looks down into hers. “No need to keep the charade that we aren’t interested in each other.”
Ainhoa Mendizabal’s fingers instinctively reach for Iñaki’s necklace as her breath catches. Her cheeks flush deeper, not entirely from the workout, as she meets Jon’s intense gaze.
“Outside the gym? I… yes, you’re right. There’s no point pretending this is just about proper form and spotting techniques, is there?” Ainhoa takes a steadying breath. “Though I have to warn you – dating a widow with two kids isn’t exactly what most men sign up for. But if you’re sure… maybe we could grab coffee after tomorrow’s session? That is, assuming you survive another round with these watermelon crushers in training!”
Jon pulls back his hand from Ainhoa’s shoulder, but he keeps holding her gaze with an intimate, warm look in his eyes.
“Until we met yesterday, I wouldn’t have guessed that I would look forward to hanging out with another person again… But I’m interested in you, Ainhoa, and I want to get to know you more. I’m willing to go ahead step by step.” They head to the exercise room’s exit. “After we hit our respective showers, do you want me to drive you somewhere? I have to head to the hospital, where I work. I’m not a doctor, I’m afraid, but a programmer.”
Ainhoa Mendizabal adjusts her gym bag on her shoulder, her fingers absently playing with Iñaki’s necklace as a mix of nervousness and excitement flickers across her face.
“A programmer?” She laughs softly. “Well, that explains the intensity in your eyes when you’re counting reps! And yes, a ride would be… nice. I need to head home to get the kids ready for school anyway. Though I should warn you – my car chatter tends to bounce between workout techniques and embarrassing mom stories. But since you’re willing to risk it…” Ainhoa pauses, gathering courage. “You know, Jon, what you said about looking forward to spending time with someone again? I feel the same way. It’s been so long since I’ve felt this… comfortable with anyone. Even if it does make me nervous as hell!”
The gym’s clamor fades behind them as Jon and Ainhoa step into the crisp morning air, their damp hair and fresh scents mingling with the salty breeze. Jon opens the door of his sleek BMW for her, his hand lingering on the frame as she slides into the passenger seat, her fingers brushing against Iñaki’s necklace. The car hums to life, and they glide through the winding streets of Donostia, the city’s hills rising like silent sentinels around them. Ainhoa directs him with quiet confidence, her voice soft but steady, as the road climbs higher, offering glimpses of the bay sparkling in the distance. The silence between them is comfortable yet charged, a shared understanding of the unspoken possibilities that lie ahead.
As Jon drives, he glances at Ainhoa, seated beside him on the passenger seat, wearing her form-fitting yellow sports bra and her leggings.
“I thought you would tell me mom stories. What are your kids names, if you don’t mind me knowing?”
Ainhoa Mendizabal’s fingers trace the outline of Iñaki’s necklace as she settles into the passenger seat, her athletic frame relaxing slightly despite her nervous energy.
“Oh, my little warriors?” Soft laugh. “Itziar is my eldest – she’s nine going on thirty, I swear! Takes after her father with how stubborn she can be. And then there’s Julen, my seven-year-old tornado. He’s…” touches necklace, “he’s got his father’s smile, you know? Both of them are handling everything better than I could’ve hoped, though some days are harder than others. But they’re resilient, just like their mama had to learn to be.” Ainhoa pauses “What about you? I mean, I know you work at the hospital as a programmer, but what exactly do you do there? Must be quite different from debugging code at a regular tech company.”
Jon smiles warmly at Ainhoa, but not without a hint of deep pain in his eyes.
“Your kids sound healthy and well-adjusted. I’m really sorry that they had to go through… what nobody should experience. I can’t imagine losing a father at that age.” He keeps driving for a few moments in silence. “At work? I program systems to figure out how much the resources of the hospital are being used, to properly reorganize medical schedules, what professionals gets assigned where, and such things. We also program the intranet systems so doctors and nurses can input their schedules. Boring stuff, but at least it’s actually necessary.”
Ainhoa Mendizabal’s fingers drift to her necklace as she processes Jon’s words about his work, her eyes softening at the mention of her children.
“Necessary? Jon, what you do helps save lives, even if indirectly. A hospital is like… well, like a really complicated gym, you know? Everything has to flow just right or the whole system falls apart. And speaking of systems…” Ainhoa laughs softly. “I should probably mention that my morning routine with the kids is pretty systematic too. I’ll need to be home by 7:30 to make sure Itziar doesn’t try convincing Julen that cookies count as breakfast again. Though between you and me? Some mornings I’m tempted to just let her win that argument!” She pauses, touching necklace. “It means a lot, what you said about the kids. About understanding what they’ve been through. Most people just… they don’t know how to approach that part of our lives.”
“Did the other guys you dated after… well, after your terrible loss… did those guys bail on you when they found out you have kids?”
Ainhoa Mendizabal’s hand tightens around Iñaki’s necklace as she looks out the car window, a mix of vulnerability and determination crossing her face.
“Actually… you’re the first since Iñaki.” Nervous laugh. “I mean, there have been a few who showed interest, but I never… I couldn’t… It just didn’t feel right, you know? Like I was betraying his memory somehow. Plus, the thought of introducing someone new to the kids – that terrified me more than any weight I’ve ever lifted. But yesterday at the store, when I saw you… Something felt different. Maybe it’s because you understand loss in a way most people don’t. I can see it in your eyes, Jon. That same shadow I see in mine when I look in the mirror some mornings.”
Jon continues driving in silence, his knuckles tightening around the steering wheel as his eyes seem both to darken and get sadder, perhaps weighing if he should bring up something from his depths. When he speaks, it sounds as if he’s dragging words out of himself.
“Her name was Izar Lizarraga. My best friend since we were twelve. We dated throughout our teens. She dreamed of becoming a motocross rider. One night she came to my parents’ home in the rain. Her father had slapped her hard because she had dropped out of school and only cared about training to become a professional rider. That night we promised each other that we would run away from home and travel the breadth of Spain. After we parted ways, Izar, instead of heading home, took to the highway. She crashed and died.”
Ainhoa Mendizabal’s hand drops from her necklace as she turns sharply toward Jon, her eyes widening with recognition of shared pain. Her voice softens to barely above a whisper.
“Oh, Jon… I…” Deep breath. “That kind of loss – losing someone so young, so full of dreams – it changes you forever, doesn’t it? Makes you question everything. I can’t imagine carrying that pain since you were teenagers. With Iñaki, at least we had years together, built a life, had our children… but to lose Izar right at the beginning of your journey together? Sometimes I wonder if that’s worse somehow – losing all those possible futures before they even had a chance to happen. Did you… did you ever let yourself imagine what that trip across Spain might have been like?”
Jon keeps his heavy gaze fixed on the road ahead. His Adam’s apple bobs up and down.
“If I let myself imagine what that trip might have been like? I dream about her almost nightly. I have tried to forget her, but it’s like I’m actually haunted. It’s been 21 years, longer than she lived. And there’s not a single day that I don’t wish I could turn back time and make her get off her motorcycle instead of driving away to her death.”
Ainhoa Mendizabal gently places her hand on Jon’s forearm, her touch light but steady, before withdrawing it respectfully.
“Twenty-one years… that’s longer than some people get to live at all. And yet here you are, still carrying her with you.” Soft exhale. “You know what the hardest part is? Those dreams – they never really stop coming, do they? With Iñaki, sometimes I wake up thinking he’s just in the other room, or that I can still smell his cologne on his pillow. But your dreams of Izar… they must be different. All those ‘what-ifs’ packed into them.” Ainhoa pauses. “I don’t think we ever really stop being haunted by the people we’ve loved, Jon. Maybe we’re not meant to. Maybe carrying their memory – even when it hurts like hell – is just another way of honoring how much they meant to us. Though I bet Izar would want you to find some peace… just like I know Iñaki would want that for me.”
“I don’t know if grief of this sort, the kind you and I have, ever really goes away. I think the people afflicted from such burdens usually retire from society, lest they become eyesores to others… Quietly disappear. I have done that to a certain extent in these last twenty years. I’ve rejected women quite a few times. I was still a married man, except that the girl I never actually married died 21 years ago. Iñaki died two or three years ago, is that right? I wish I could offer you hope in that regard, tell you that it’s going to fade in the future… but it hasn’t for me. Maybe the only solution is to love someone else.”
Ainhoa Mendizabal leans forward slightly, her fingers instinctively finding Iñaki’s necklace as she processes Jon’s words about lasting grief.
“Three years. It’s been three years since the accident took Iñaki. And you’re right – there’s no magical timeline where grief just… disappears. But Jon, retiring from life? That’s not living – that’s just existing. And maybe… maybe that’s why we found each other yesterday. Two broken people who understand that some wounds never fully heal. When you say you’ve rejected women because you still feel married to Izar’s memory… I get it. Gods, do I get it. For the longest time, I couldn’t even look at another man without feeling like I was betraying Iñaki. But yesterday at the store… something shifted. Maybe because I saw that same haunted look in your eyes that I see in mine. Or maybe because after three years of just… surviving, some part of me is finally ready to try living again. Not to replace what we’ve lost – nothing could ever do that. But to maybe create something new alongside those memories we carry.”
The Domains of the Emperor Owl 
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