This concludes the release of all the finished albums I have for the story. If back in the day you enjoyed any of these songs, produced during the very early days of Udio in which the song quality wasn’t good enough, you should probably listen to the songs or the whole album again, as I had Claude Code work its magic through the frequencies.
YouTube video’s description:
This is the first of three completed concept albums about a trio of friends living in a nowhere town: William Griffin, a sensitive and increasingly unhinged songwriter; Claire, his blind and illiterate next-door neighbor and perpetual mystery; and Lorenzo, their friend, who is inexplicably a sentient triceratops.
I made roughly eighty songs about them during Udio’s brief, lawless glory days, when a generation could sound like an actual band playing in a room, and you could still use swear words. The project ran through three albums and into the beginnings of a fourth before I ran out of steam, around the same time that changes to Udio’s model made the music feel notoriously worse.
Returning to these songs now is strange. Some of them still make the hair rise on my arms. William, Claire, and Lorenzo feel like forces within me that split apart, took on lives of their own, and built a mythology that contained that strange period of my life.
The earliest seeds of the lyrics date back to 2021. I can play guitar, but I was never going to become all the bands these songs required. The music changes radically from one track to the next, because each song takes whatever form its emotion demands. The characters and their shared emotional history are what hold the albums together.
This first album is the roughest of the three. I had just started producing songs with Udio. I was trying my way through writing song lyrics for the first time, with the additional constraint that I intended to sound like a somewhat-unhinged middle schooler whose best friend was a triceratops and who tended to filter reality in surreal ways through his dinosaur-addled brain. The resulting lyrics are sillier than usual, while retaining the earnestness and honesty that I intended for the whole story. But sometimes the lyrics get too dumb in retrospect even for me, which makes some of these songs a bit hard to listen to.
That said, there are real winners here, at least to me. Claude Code did everything it could to bolster the audio quality of this early-era Udio audio productions, and it has worked beyond my expectations. Thankfully you won’t have to listen to some of the songs in their previous states; some sounded as if they were played through a blanket.
I don’t know how the notion for this series came to be back in 2021, during one of the wildest creative periods of my life. Suddenly I knew I had William (an unhinged kid who expressed himself through music), Claire (his illiterate, blind, next-door neighbor who remains mostly opaque to him), and Lorenzo, a goddamn triceratops. I didn’t need to reason their existence or why writing about them was so important to me. I just felt it, so I soldiered on.
Now that I’m older and I have come to understand myself better, I do know why I needed to produce these songs, and why listening to them feels like coming home no matter how much I’ve tried to distance myself from this project. This story is my dead youth. An unhinged artist with a raw heart, who loved too much in the wrong ways. A blind, illiterate mystery whom the artist was devoted to and couldn’t afford to lose. An ancient, violent source of chaos who never left William’s side. That’s myself split in three. And I also know why Lorenzo had to die, and why Claire had to disappear, even if I’m the only one who understands.
I want to return to this story and finish it properly. I don’t know if I will. These days I promise too many things to myself. But I want one day in my late forties to return to these songs and new ones and feel the same emotions that these three albums recreate. So at least to me, Odes to My Triceratops didn’t deserve to be forgotten, and with the YouTube releases out, they will outlast me.
Over the years since I produced these songs, I’ve gotten from time to time notices that people downloaded the first and second album, but I never go around to presenting the third album as a cohesive whole. Now it’s up on YouTube. I doubt that anyone happening to read these words actually cares, but in case you’ve enjoyed any of these songs in the past, the whole album warrants a listen.
YouTube video’s description:
This is the third of three completed concept albums about a trio of friends living in a nowhere town: William Griffin, a sensitive and increasingly unhinged songwriter; Claire, his blind and illiterate next-door neighbor and perpetual mystery; and Lorenzo, their friend, who is inexplicably a sentient triceratops.
I made roughly eighty songs about them during Udio’s brief, lawless glory days, when a generation could sound like an actual band playing in a room, and you could still use swear words. The project ran through three albums and into the beginnings of a fourth before I ran out of steam, around the same time that changes to Udio’s model made the music feel notoriously worse.
Returning to these songs now is strange. Some of them still make the hair rise on my arms. William, Claire, and Lorenzo feel like forces within me that split apart, took on lives of their own, and built a mythology that contained that strange period of my life.
The earliest seeds of the lyrics date back to 2021. I can play guitar, but I was never going to become all the bands these songs required. The music changes radically from one track to the next, because each song takes whatever form its emotion demands. The characters and their shared emotional history are what hold the albums together.
This third album is more cohesive than the second one, and is bolstered by the improved audio quality from Udio’s model generation at the time. But this album lacks the more varied, distinct narrative arc of the previous one. Some of the songs on this album are real bangers, though, and Behind the Door may be my favorite of the series emotion-wise.
William’s story doesn’t end here. I just haven’t gotten around to producing the entirety of the fourth album. Maybe it’s time to pick it up again.
Those of you who have stuck around for a while may remember a period in which I somehow ended up producing about eighty songs with an online music generator named Udio. I thought that those albums turned out way too good for them to end up buried on this site and my SSD drive, so now you can listen to the entirety of this little masterpiece of an album, its whole two hours, on YouTube. The songs, originally plain MP3 because Udio didn’t allow WAV downloads back then, have been remastered somewhat, so that’s something.
YouTube video’s description:
This is the second of three completed concept albums about three friends living in a nowhere town: William Griffin, a sensitive and increasingly unhinged songwriter; Claire, his blind and illiterate next-door neighbor and perpetual mystery; and Lorenzo, their friend, who is inexplicably a sentient triceratops.
I made roughly eighty songs about them during Udio’s brief, lawless glory days, when a generation could sound like an actual band playing in a room, and you could still use swear words. The project ran through three albums and into the beginnings of a fourth before I ran out of steam, around the same time that changes to Udio’s model made the music feel notoriously worse.
Returning to these songs now is strange. Some of them still make the hair rise on my arms. William, Claire, and Lorenzo feel like forces within me that split apart, took on lives of their own, and built a mythology that contained that strange period of my life.
The earliest seeds of the lyrics date back to 2021. I can play guitar, but I was never going to become all the bands these songs required. The music changes radically from one track to the next, because each song takes whatever form its emotion demands. The characters and their shared emotional history are what hold the albums together.
I think this second album is the strongest thing that emerged from the project. It is ridiculous, wounded, honest. I am putting it into the world because it seems wrong for it to exist only for me.
As a solitary dude, all my life I have relied on music to connect with the world at large, to feel that my feelings weren’t that unique or detached from the rest of humanity. Over the years, I’ve returned to certain albums that have spoken to me in ways that can’t be fully put into words. I love discovering new albums, and perhaps that’s also the case for whoever is reading these words, so I’ll spend some of my limited time on Earth sharing some specifics about the albums that have marked me, and that in many ways changed me.
Today’s album is Teens of Denial by Car Seat Headrest, released in 2016. When I first listened to this album back in the day, I was drawn to its scruffy, lo-fi rock, combined with songwriter Will Toledo’s self-deprecating, often profound and in general compelling lyrics. The album was a fitting companion whenever I felt l like I was stumbling through life generally unfulfilled, though thankfully not sinking in the depths of one of my cycles of depression. Given how often I feel like that, I’ve ended up returning to this album repeatedly over the years. It now feels like a classic.
“Fill In the Blanks”
Fantastic opener. The very first voice you hear in the album is that of a girl, maybe a fan, maybe a friend of Toledo’s, who can barely remember the name of the band. That immediately sets the tone for the rest of the album. In the song, Will opens up about his experiences with depression: the shame, the self-hate, the way other people sometimes try to help but you end up driving them away. These lyrics contain a couple of lines that I suspect all people who have dealt with clinical depression could relate to, when they compare themselves with those who haven’t been tainted by that darkness: “And I will never see the light / That I’ve seen shining in your eyes.”
I’m so sick of, fill in the blank Accomplish more, accomplish nothing If I were split in two I would just take my fists So I can beat up the rest of me
You have no right to be depressed You haven’t tried hard enough to like it Haven’t seen enough of this world yet But it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts Well stop your whining, try again No one wants to cause you pain They’re just trying to let some air in But you hold your breath, you hold your breath, you hold it Hold my breath, I hold my breath, I hold it
I’ve known for a long time I’m not getting what I want out of people It took me a long time To figure out I don’t know what I want So you’ll ask “Why?” and there will be no answer Then you’ll ask “For how long?” and there will be no answer Then you’ll ask “What can I do?” and there’ll be no answer And eventually you will shut up
I’ve got a right to be depressed I’ve given every inch I had to fight it I have seen too much of this world, yes And it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts And I will never see the light (so stop your whining try again) That I’ve seen shining in your eyes (no one wants to cause you pain) You just want to see me naked (they’re just trying to let some air in, but you) So I’ll hold my breath, I hold my breath, I hold it Hold my breath, I hold my breath, I hold my breath, I hold my breath I hold my breath, I hold my breath, I hold my breath
“Destroyed by Hippie Powers”
This one’s about Toledo getting so high that he questions what he’s done to his life. I don’t have much to say about the song except that I like it a lot.
What happened to that chubby little kid who smiled so much and loved the Beach Boys? What happened is I killed that fucker and I took his name, and I got new glasses
“Unforgiving Girl (She’s Not an)”
I’m not sure what Toledo meant to convey with this song, but ultimately I care what music makes me feel. When I listen to this one, it conjures images of being able to rely on a special connection, someone who has seen you at your worst, who understands how fucked up the world is, but who still manages to improve your day the few times you reconnect with her. I love how the song devolves into raw cries that perfectly summarize the impresion this song elicits for me: “It’s an unforgiving world / But she’s not an unforgiving girl.”
What a glorious hell we have found Until I recognize the sound Of my voice again For years I hadn’t had a clue But suddenly I can look through Your eyes again
This isn’t sex, I don’t think, it’s just extreme empathy She’s not my ex, we never met, but do you still think of me? They say that the world is one, but if the world is one How come you never come around anymore? (I guess it’s not that simple)
Well, everyone learns to live with their sins But girl you wear yours like a brand new skin
Well, everyone learns to live with themselves And you’re not the only one who’s been through hell So give me a sign that I’m not making love to myself
“The Ballad of the Costa Concordia”
This one makes me think about my shortcomings, about aging, about how the strength and vitality has been sapped out of me little by little, about how I’ve managed to fuck most things up some way or another. In such moods, you think about the whys. What if my parents had known what the fuck they were doing? What if I had been someone else entirely? Ultimately you are forced to handle the cards you’ve been dealt, at least those you haven’t lost along the way.
I used to like the mornings I’d survived another night I’d walk to breakfast through the garden See the flowers stretching in the sunlight
Now I wake up in the mornings And all the kindness is drained out of me I spend hours just wincing And trying to regain some sense of peace
If only I could sustain my anger Feel it grow stronger and stronger It sharpens to a point and sheds my skin Shakes off the weight of my sins And takes me to heaven
I stay up late every night Out of some general protest But with no one to tell you to come to bed It’s not really a contest
And maybe you think I’ll learn from my mistake But not this time It’s just gonna break me
And if I’ve lost you for good Could there have been any other way? Was the water filling up for years Or did I wreck it all in a day?
I’m going to bed now I’ve sunk into my sorrows And it’ll take three hundred million dollars To get me up tomorrow
I won’t go down with the ship I will put my hands up and surrender There will be no more flags above my door I have lost, and I always will be
It was an expensive mistake It was an expensive mistake My horse broke his back to get me here I have his blood on my hands for no reason But what was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to know how to use a tube amp? How was I supposed to know how to drive a van? How was I supposed to know how to ride a bike without hurting myself? How was I supposed to know how to make dinner for myself? How was I supposed to know how to hold a job? How was I supposed to remember to grab my backpack after I set it down to play basketball? And how was I supposed to know how to not get drunk every Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and why not Sunday? (How was I supposed to know how to steer this ship?) How was I supposed to know how to steer this ship? How the hell was I supposed to steer this ship? It was an expensive mistake You can’t say you’re sorry and it’s over I was given a body that is falling apart My house is falling apart And I was given a mind that can’t control itself (And what about the pain I’m in right now?) And I was given a ship that can’t steer itself (And what about a vacation?) And what about a vacation to feel good? My horse broke his back and left me here How was I supposed to know?
Let us take you back to where we came in We were united, an undivided nation We got divided, it was something inside us And it was not us
“Connect the Dots (The Saga of Frank Sinatra)”
This one’s about Toledo being told by most people in his life, particularly his parents, that his youthful dreams of making it as a rock star were silly, that nothing he dreamed of would happen. The song feels defiant and triumphant: you ignore the advice and opinions of those who can’t glimpse the target you aim for, and you forge ahead with manly obstination until you finally achieve the goal of all creatives: “We’re never gonna, never gonna get a job.”
Little boy says I’ll be in love with my fists Little boy says I’ll be in love with my punches Little boy says, “What should I do with my hands, mom?” Little boy is told not to do anything wrong
When I die I’ll be taken to the constellations Have a drink, relax, there’ll be some introductions This is Cassiopeia, this is Orion This is Cindy and this is Nathan That’s Chrissy and the other Nathan
I know that it’s a lot to remember says mother I know that it’s a lot to remember says father I know that it’s a lot to remember says mother I know that it’s a lot to remember says father
I speak these words in utter isolation I drive the car in a line from star to stardom Little boy says I’ll touch the heart of the nation Little boy says I’ll punch the heart of everyone
I know that it’s a lot to remember says mother I know that it’s a lot to remember says father I know that it’s a lot to remember says mother I know that it’s a lot to remember says someone
You won’t see who you want to see there No one will want to be in your band You’ll have to learn how to make it on your own Spend a little time with your own hand
And we’re never gonna, never gonna get a job And we’re never gonna, never gonna get a job And we’re never gonna, never gonna get a job And we’re never gonna, never gonna get a job
The Domains of the Emperor Owl 
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