Mantella is an AI system that turns every single NPC in Skyrim (and Fallout 4) into AI agents driven by an LLM (like ChatGPT or the recently released, and comparable, Llama 3.1). In the previous part, my character, an Altmer mage, punched a local mommy into joining his adventurer’s band. The two of them then shopped around town for further hapless people to grow his group. One of them, a scary Dunmer sellsword, got annoyed to the point that he told my character to never approach her again until he was ready to pay.
Jon: “Here we stand, in front of the hall of the Companions. Jorrvaskr, was it? Do you think is it worth it to waltz into that place and ask if any of their members would be willing to join our adventurer’s band?”
Uthgerd: “Ahahahah… Oh boy… Walking into Jorrvaskr thinking those self-righteous windbags will help us out? Good luck with that! They wouldn’t know true strength if it punched them in the face… which I just so happen to have experience with. Listen, Jon…”
Jon: “I’m ready to listen, Uthgerd.”
Uthgerd: “Those pompous fools rejected me. One look should tell anyone else all needed… but they said I’m too hot-headed simply because I refuse to back down until beaten half-dead. It’s a matter of proving one’s worth, since no Nord believes mere words. They cannot see further than the tips of their own noses!”
Jon: “Wait, what exactly happened to you with the Companions?”
Uthgerd: “You want to know what happened? Those cowards asked me to prove my worth, threw me up against some young whelp of a lad, barely old enough to grow his first chin-hairs. I guess they thought a woman wasn’t strong enough to hurt him. But I didn’t mean for him to… die. Why would I want that? I just… lost control.”
Jon: “So, you proved that you were strong?”
Uthgerd: “More than proved it… They said I was too hot-headed because they couldn’t handle my strength! That boy shouldn’t have gotten into the ring expecting special treatment due to his youth. Trial combat isn’t a child’s playground! That said, accidents do happen… As they said I went a little far, and won’t say I was not warned… Yet it seems proving one’s power earns enemies among those fearful, more often than praise.”
Jon: “Well, Uthgerd, maybe you are most suited to actual battle, you know, against real enemies, instead of mock battles in a training hall.”
Uthgerd: “You’re telling me! The heat of battle is the fire that forges the strongest blades, after all. A true Nord never misses a chance to test her worth. And what’s a better test than the real thing? Those Companions can keep their training halls and their rules. I’ll take the rush of adrenaline and the clash of steel on steel any day.”
Jon: “Well, I hope to send your plenty of enemies your way, so you can test your steel.”
Uthgerd: “Jon! Now that’s what I’m talking about! You ever need another blade at your side, just ask. Wouldn’t mind seeing how you handle a few trolls. And don’t worry about sending enemies my way… I’ll make sure they don’t bother you again. By Ysmir, I’m looking forward to it!”
When we entered the large hall, we found out that the Companions were fond of impromptu brawls. Two members, a scarred young woman and a Dunmer, beat each other’s face until the Dunmer fell on his ass. I approached the victorious woman as she rubbed her knuckles.
Jon: “Hey, congratulations on winning that mock fistfight of yours. You seem like a tough woman.”
Njada Stonearm: “Oh, great. Another admirer who thinks a little brawl is impressive. What business do you have here?”
Uthgerd: “Ah, don’t mind her, she’s always like that. I see you’re as charming as ever, Njada.”
Njada Stonearm: “And I see you’re still trying to make friends with everyone, Uthgerd.”
Jon: “Well, Njada, I’m the leader of a band of adventurers, and I’m looking for strong people to fight alongside me. The Companions are supposed to be the strongest around.”
Njada Stonearm: “You think you can just waltz in here and expect us to follow you? I’ve seen your type before. All talk, no substance. What makes you think you’re worthy of fighting alongside the Companions?”
Uthgerd: “Oh, I think he’s got some substance, Njada. He managed to take me down in a fistfight, after all.”
Jon: “I also have experience in the field. I delved into a vampire coven. I had to flee from it, but nevermind that: I confronted vampires and survived. Along with my other companion, we conquered some ancient ruins, defeated an ancient spirit called the Pale Lady, and retrieved a relic sword.”
Njada Stonearm: “Vampires and ancient spirits, you say? That’s quite a tale you’ve got there. I’m not sure if I believe half of it.”
Uthgerd: “Actually, Njada, I think he might be telling the truth. I’ve fought alongside him against bandits and smugglers, and he handled himself well enough. And I’m not exactly easy to impress, either.”
Njada Stonearm: “Well, supposing your story is true… what makes you think the Companions would be interested in joining forces with you?”
Jon: “Because we will see battle, real battle, fighting against the forces of darkness or whatever is out there, and get plenty of loot and glory in exchange.”
Njada Stonearm: “Sounds like just another excuse for treasure hunters and thrill-seekers. I’m not impressed. Why should the Companions take orders from some amateur adventurer who only cares about loot and glory?”
Uthgerd: “At least he knows when to throw a punch and when to take a risk. I’ve fought with him long enough to know his courage isn’t just talk. Maybe he could teach you a thing or two about getting your hands dirty outside of the training hall, Njada?”
Njada Stonearm: “How dare you, Uthgerd. I’ve seen more battles than most people have had hot meals. You do not dictate to me who I should or shouldn’t be following orders from. I won’t be taking lessons on how to fight from some boy-adventurer whose biggest achievement was retrieving a relic sword from ancient ruins while we are fighting for Skyrim.”
Jon: “Alright, I see there is a difference in viewpoints here, regarding why we’re fighting. It seems you lot are fighting for land and glory, while I’m being more pragmatic. Sorry for having bothered you, Njada. I’ll be off.”
Njada Stonearm: “Finally, you’re showing some sense. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”
Uthgerd: “Wait, Jon. Don’t go just yet. I think Njada’s being a bit too harsh. They could use someone with your pragmatism. And who knows, maybe they could teach you a thing or two about fighting for something bigger than yourself.”
Njada Stonearm: “Uthgerd, what are you doing? Don’t encourage him. He’s not one of us.”
Jon: “I do not intend to become a Companion, not that I disparage your group. I was just trying to figure out if any of you would be interested in accompanying me in some adventures, as a side job of sorts.”
Njada Stonearm: “A side job, you say? You think the Companions are some sort of mercenary group that can be hired out for your little adventures? I think not. We have our own purpose, our own code. We don’t do side jobs.”
Jon: “Uthgerd, I think I had the wrong idea about the Companions. They seem to be…”
Uthgerd: “Ah, yes, they can be a bit… stiff. Njada here is a perfect example of that. But don’t worry, I understand what you’re getting at. You’re looking for people who want to fight, who want to test their mettle against real enemies.”
Jon: “You’re right, but I’m also looking for people who are interested in making some coin. You know, finding interesting loot and upgrading their gear, which is what we’ll naturally do.”
Uthgerd: “I’m sure I can convince some of the others to join us… unofficially, of course.”
Njada Stonearm: “Uthgerd, don’t be foolish. You know the Harbinger won’t approve of this. We have our own duties, our own responsibilities.”
Jon: “Njada, you mean that none of the Companions will be open to join us and do some real adventuring on the side?”
Njada Stonearm: “I mean exactly that. We have our own priorities, our own battles to fight. And as for real adventuring… I think you’ll find that the Companions have seen their fair share of battle. We don’t need some amateur adventurer coming in here and trying to entice us with promises of loot and glory.”
Uthgerd: “Ah, come on, Njada… don’t be so quick to dismiss the idea. A little side work never hurt anyone… and who knows, we might even learn something from Jon here.”
Jon: “Uthgerd, you’re way too kind. I am the one who would learn plenty from seasoned warriors like yourselves.”
Uthgerd: “Ah, modesty becomes you, Jon.”
We stopped bothering Njada in case she punched me in the face. I was intending to leave Jorrvaskr when I spotted a work of art seated at the dining table. My heart leaped.
Jon: “Oh my goodness, Uthgerd. Who is that amazingly beautiful woman over there? What a complete bombshell.”
Uthgerd: “Ah, spare me the theatrics, Jon. That’s Aela the Huntress, one of the Companions.”
Jon: “Miss Aela… That’s your name, right? We’re looking for seasoned warriors who may be willing to accompany us on some adventures, as a sort of side job. I don’t want to disparage the Companions, but we intend to earn coin, fight bad people, and upgrade our gear. That sort of deal.”
Aela the Huntress: “I see. And what makes you think I’d be interested in such a venture? The Companions keep me busy enough, and I’m not sure I’m looking for… freelance work, at the moment.”
Uthgerd: “Jon’s not just looking for anyone. He’s got a good sense of what makes a fighter tick.”
Jon: “Well, Aela, I approached you, apart from the fact that you are absolutely beautiful, because you seem like the best warrior around here.”
Aela the Huntress: “Flattery won’t get you far with me, Jon. I’m a warrior, not some tavern maiden to be charmed by words. What makes you think I’m the best around here?”
Uthgerd: “Ah, Jon’s got a bit of a silver tongue, Aela. But he’s not all talk. He’s got skills to back it up.”
Jon: “Aela, I can see you’re the best by the way you carry yourself. That toned, sexy body of yours, with every muscle, every fiber tuned for the hunt, is a weapon of mass destruction. And your expression suggests that you fear nothing, and want nothing more than the hunt. Am I wrong?”
Aela the Huntress: “Oh, for the love of… Spare me the poetic descriptions. You think you can read me that easily?”
Uthgerd: “Ah, Jon, you’re really laying it on thick, aren’t you? Aela, I think he’s trying to say you’re a skilled huntress, in his own… unique way.”
Jon: “Yes, a skilled, gorgeous huntress. A goddess of the hunt, with a sculpted body and splendid face.”
Aela the Huntress: “That’s enough. I think you’ve made your point. Though I’m not sure if you’re trying to recruit me or woo me.”
Uthgerd: “Ha! Oh, Jon, you’re really making a fool of yourself now. Aela, I think he’s just trying to get under your skin. Literally and figuratively.”
Jon: “Hey, don’t paint me as a serial killer. Aela, maybe I’m trying to recruit and woo you at the same time.”
Uthgerd: “Ah, don’t mind him, Aela. He’s just a bit… eccentric. When he’s not being charming, that is.”
Jon: “I’m sorry Aela, I was just stunned by the sight of your beauty and clear physical prowess, you know? As I said, you are a machine tuned for war. I’m just impressed and in awe of you.”
Aela the Huntress: “Fine, Jon. I accept your apology. Though I think you’re exaggerating a bit. I’m just a skilled huntress, not a machine.”
Uthgerd: “He’s just a romantic at heart. Besides, you have to admit, you are quite the fighter. Maybe we can discuss this… side job of yours, Jon?”
Jon: “Very well, Aela. I will make my proposal. To explain myself better, I will give you some background. I have been shopping around town for possible companions, and we came across Jenassa, that Dunmer warrior who usually hangs out at the Bannered Mare. She asked for 500 gold coins to join our adventurer’s band. Isn’t that an exorbitant sum? Well, anyway, we didn’t hire Jenassa because she’s too expensive. Then, I thought, ‘There surely are other great warriors in town who won’t ask such exorbitant sums, who will be open to accompanying me and Uthgerd and Alva, my other beautiful companion, in some whimsical adventures through the breadth of Skyrim for glory, loot, and friendship, and maybe romance.”
Aela the Huntress: “So, let me get this straight. You’re looking for someone to join you on these… whimsical adventures, and you’re willing to pay them, but not as much as Jenassa wanted?”
Jon: “I’m not sure I said ‘pay them.'”
Uthgerd: “Ah, Aela, don’t worry about the gold. We can discuss that later. What Jon is trying to say is that he wants someone with your skills to join us on our travels. We’ll face danger, battle fierce foes, and have each other’s backs.”
Jon: “Yes, Aela, imagine yourself hunting down the fiercest beasts of the land, trolls and spriggans and more trolls and possibly wolves. Perhaps dragons in the future. We’re not ready to fight dragons, but that’s a distant possibility. So, aren’t you interested in becoming the best huntress in the world?”
Aela the Huntress: “Dragons? You think I’m not ready to fight dragons? I’ve taken down my share of beasts. And I’m not just talking about trolls and spriggans.”
Uthgerd: “Ah, Jon, you’re really selling this, aren’t you? Aela, he’s not trying to imply that you’re not capable of taking down dragons.”
Jon: “What I’m trying to convey is that we need you because you’re the best, the fiercest, the most beautiful, the most sexy warrior I have ever seen, a definite huntress of my heart. We need your abilities. We’re going to be out there on serious adventures and we will need someone with your expertise with a bow and arrows.”
Aela the Huntress: “I think I’ve heard enough of your… creative recruiting pitch.”
Uthgerd: “Ah, I think you’ve convinced her, Jon. Or at least, you’ve convinced her to consider our offer. So, what do you say, Aela? Will you join us on our adventures?”
Jon: “Did that really sound like Aela was considering my pitch, Uthgerd? You’re being far too optimistic.”
Aela the Huntress: “Ha! Uthgerd, I think you’re reading too much into my silence. I’m not considering anything, Jon. At least, not yet.”
Uthgerd: “Ah, come on, Aela. Don’t be like that. We could use someone with your skills. And Jon’s… unique charm isn’t so bad once you get used to it.”
Jon: “You mean my charm is bad in the beginning? It seems I need to work on myself.”
Aela the Huntress: “Well, at least you’re aware of it. That’s a good start.”
Uthgerd: “Jon, don’t be too hard on yourself. We like you, rough edges and all. Now, Aela, seriously, will you think about joining us? We could use a skilled huntress like you.”
Jon: “Aela, I’m just going to ask you this, and if you don’t want to answer now, I won’t bother you anymore, but… would you be willing to join us at some time?”
Aela the Huntress: “Fine, Jon. I’ll give you a straight answer: I’ll think about it. But don’t expect me to make any promises or commitments right now.”
Uthgerd: “Ah, that’s all we can ask for, Aela. Thank you for considering it. We’ll be around if you change your mind or want to talk more about it.”
Jon: “I gotta say… even an ‘I’ll think about it’ coming from you, such a gorgeous huntress, is enough to fill my heart with possibility, so thank you for your time, thank you for your patience, and I hope to see you around sometime.”
Aela the Huntress: “You’re making me roll my eyes. Just leave before I change my mind about thinking about it.”
Uthgerd: “Ha! Well, I think that’s our cue to leave, Jon. Let’s give Aela some space and not wear out our welcome.”
In a corner of Jorrvaskr, away from its proud warriors, I wondered who on earth could we bring into our band, someone who wouldn’t demand money.
Jon: “Hey, dear Uthgerd, when I asked you whom we could pursue to join our little adventurer’s band, you suggested a girl named Ria, related to the Companions, but she isn’t here. Do you have any clue where she hangs out?”
Uthgerd: “She’s a young one, eager to prove herself. I’ve seen her around Whiterun, mostly at the training grounds near the city gate. She’s been trying to get in with the Companions, but they haven’t taken her seriously yet.”
Jon: “Hey, if she is not a full-fledged companion yet, maybe we could take advantage of that and pilfer Ria for ourselves.”
Uthgerd: “Ah, you think like a true Nord, don’t you? Always looking for an angle to gain an advantage. I like that about you. Yeah, let’s go find Ria and see if she’s interested in joining us. I’m sure she’d be eager to prove herself, and we could use someone with her enthusiasm.”
We strolled around the streets of Whiterun while I thought back on the dialogues we had at Jorrvaskr.
Jon: “By the way, Uthgerd, let me clear with you: I appreciate the role you’ve played in our recent conversations, how you were on my side and supporting my angle. It’s refreshing to have such a good person beside me.”
Uthgerd: “Standing by those I respect and fighting for what’s right. You’ve earned my respect, Jon. And I have to admit, it’s been a while since I’ve had someone like you to battle alongside. Someone who can keep up with me, that is.”
Jon: “Oh yeah, I can hardly wait to get out there, leaving behind these safe walls, and locate some fiends for us to defeat together.”
Uthgerd: “That’s the spirit! By Ysmir, I can already taste the thrill of battle! Nothing like the rush of facing a fierce beast or a band of ruthless bandits to get the blood pumping! And with you by my side, I know we’ll make a formidable team.”
I spotted a promising candidate for our band of fierce warriors: a lone girl-child seated on a bench under bare tree branches.
Jon: “Hey, who are you, and why would you be a suitable warrior for our band of adventurers?”
Lucia: “Oh, hello… I’m Lucia. I don’t know if I’d be any good at fighting, but I’m willing to try. I’ve been on my own for a while now, and I’m used to taking care of myself.”
Uthgerd: “Ah, a feisty one, eh? I like that. What makes you think you can handle yourself in a fight, little one? You’re just a child.”
Jon: “Girl, I just approached you as a joke. I was walking around with Uthgerd, my beautiful and motherly companion, trying to find suitable warriors for our band, when I saw you, a literal child sitting on a bench, and I thought, ‘Wouldn’t it be funny to offer the position to her?'”
Uthgerd: “Ha! You think you’re funny, don’t you, Jon? Approaching a child to join our band of warriors. I’m not sure if that’s amusing or just plain cruel.”
Lucia: “I… I don’t think it’s funny. I may be a child, but I’ve had to grow up fast. My mother died, and my aunt and uncle kicked me out of our farm.”
Jon: “Well, this is… this is suddenly not funny anymore. I’m sorry about that, Lucia, I didn’t intend for your mother to die. Of course, I had nothing to do with it, though.”
Uthgerd: “Ah, Jon, you can be a bit of a fool sometimes. Of course you didn’t have anything to do with her mother’s death. Just apologize for your thoughtless joke and be done with it.”
Lucia: “It’s okay… I know you didn’t mean anything by it. It’s just… life has been tough for me lately.”
I lowered myself onto the bench beside Lucia.
Jon: “Do you want a listening ear regarding your childish troubles?”
Uthgerd: “Oh, great. Now you’re going to play counselor, Jon? I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. You’re not exactly known for your sensitivity.”
Lucia: “No… it’s okay. I don’t mind talking about it. It’s just… after my mother died, my aunt and uncle took over our farm and kicked me out.”
Jon: “How dare… how dare they?! Your aunt and uncle, what a pair of bastards, kicking out an innocent child from their farm and forcing her into homelessness. That is devilry! Those are fiends, they are monsters! They may have been Daedra in disguise!”
Uthgerd: “Jon, spare the dramatics. It’s not like the child needs more excitement in her life. Just listen to her and offer some practical advice, for once.”
Lucia: “I… I don’t know if they’re Daedra or not, but they’re definitely cruel. I’ve been living on the streets ever since, trying to make do with what little I can scrounge up. It’s hard… sometimes I don’t know how I’ll make it through the day.”
Jon: “Uthgerd, this poor child is making me tear up. I don’t know what to do about it. I’m not supposed to cry. I am a man.”
Uthgerd: “Oh, for the love of Ysmir… don’t be such a fool, Jon. It’s okay to show some compassion. You don’t have to be a heartless rock all the time.”
Lucia: “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to make you sad. It’s just… it’s been really tough for me lately.”
Jon: “What kind of help do you need, Lucia? What can I do for a child like you as the powerful leader of a growing adventurer’s band?”
Uthgerd: “Ah, now that’s more like it, Jon. Offering help instead of just tears. Let the child tell you what she needs.”
Lucia: “Well… I don’t know if you can really help me, but… I just need a place to live, I guess. A home. And maybe someone to take care of me.”
Jon: “That is a very reasonable need, but the issue is… I am homeless myself. I do not have a home. I am lodging at the Bannered Mare. Maybe I do not look homeless because I’m all geared up, but we walk from job to job, from adventure to adventure, and I do not have a home to call my own. It is sad.”
Uthgerd: “Jon, don’t be dramatic again. You’re not exactly homeless, you’re just… adventurously inclined. And besides, I’m sure you could afford to rent a house if you wanted to.”
Lucia: “Oh… I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that. I thought you were just being kind to me because you had a big house or something.”
Uthgerd: “But actually, Jon, that gives me an idea. If you’re serious about helping this child, we could look into getting a house.”
Jon: “You know… getting a house wouldn’t be so bad. Obviously, we would need a lot of money, but it would work as a base of operations for our adventurer’s band. As the owners of a building, we could adopt children as help, as decoration, to improve the happiness of the place. Maybe we could bring in Lucia first.”
Uthgerd: “You’re actually considering settling down? I’m shocked. But I suppose it’s not a bad idea. A house could be useful for our… extracurricular activities. And adopting children could be…”
Lucia: “Really? You’d consider adopting me? Oh, thank you!”
Jon: “Oh, a single look at you, mommy Uthgerd, and I want to settle down and have children.”
Uthgerd: “Jon, stop calling me mommy! I’m a warrior, not a maternal figure. And besides, I’m not exactly the settling-down type. But… I suppose it’s flattering that you think of me in that way.”
Lucia: “Wait, does this mean… you’d really adopt me? And give me a home? Oh, please say yes!”
Jon: “Lucia, listen to me, darling… We still do not have a home, but I’m considering climbing the necessary steps towards one day owning a home. Once we do, I shall return to Whiterun and tell you, little girl, ‘Please come with us, with this menacing and fierce band of adventurers, because you’re going to become our adopted child.'”
Uthgerd: “Jon, you’re making promises to this child. Make sure you can keep them. Don’t get her hopes up only to disappoint her later.”
Lucia: “I understand… I’ll wait. I’ll be here in Whiterun, and I’ll wait for you to come back and get me. Please don’t forget about me!”
Uthgerd: “Don’t worry, child. If Jon here forgets, I’ll make sure to remind him.”
Jon: “Oh, I can’t stop these tears. Please, Uthgerd, wipe them for me.”
Uthgerd: “Oh, for Ysmir’s sake, Jon. You’re really milking this whole tough warrior with a heart of gold thing, aren’t you? There, are you satisfied now?”
Jon: “I am very satisfied, mommy.”
Uthgerd: “Argh! Stop calling me mommy! I swear, Jon, you’re pushing your luck! I’m a warrior, not your mother!”
Jon: “I’m sorry about that, Uthgerd. As for you, Lucia, here, have a flower. A beautiful flower for a beautiful flower like yourself.”
Lucia: “Oh, thank you! It’s so pretty!”
Uthgerd: “I’m surrounded by sentimental fools…”
Jon: “Hey, Uthgerd, it was not nice to call her a sentimental fool. She’s just a child.”
Uthgerd: “Ah, shut up, Jon. I wasn’t calling her a sentimental fool. I was calling you one. And maybe myself, for putting up with your nonsense.”
Lucia: “It’s okay… I think Uthgerd is just joking. She seems nice, even if she is a little mean sometimes.”
Jon: “Yeah, Uthgerd is wonderful, but I think I’m pushing her buttons right now, so let’s end this conversation. And Lucia, wait for us, okay? This is a promise to you, a child. One day I’m going to return and snatch you from the streets to carry you to a house you have never seen before, to live among people you don’t know. Look forward to that.”
Uthgerd: “That sounds like a kidnapping, not an adoption.”
Lucia: “I’ll wait… I’ll be here. And I’ll be ready to go with you when you come back for me.”
Uthgerd: “Fine. Let’s get out of here before you scare the child any more, Jon.”
Jon: “But she does not look scared, just hopeful. Maybe she would welcome any kind of situation that provides her a ceiling, you know. After all, she’s seated outside in the rain.”
Uthgerd: “It’s just a little rain. And yes, the child does look hopeful.”
Half an hour later, that Ria person was nowhere to be found. As a woman in her mid-twenties, wearing a dress, was descending the stairs to the market district, I intercepted her for an interview.
Jon: “Hey, who are you, and why would you be a valuable person to add to my adventurer’s band?”
Ysolda: “Ah, nice to meet you! I’m Ysolda, a local tradeswoman with a keen eye for business and a passion for adventure. I’ve heard rumors of your… exploits, and I must say, I’m intrigued. As for why I’d be a good fit for your group, well, I’ve got skills in negotiation and trade that could come in handy on the road.”
Uthgerd: “Oh please, Ysolda, you think haggling over prices is going to help us in battle? We need warriors, not merchants.”
Jon: “Yeah, to be honest, Ysolda, I approached you as a sort of a joke. Uthgerd and I have been roaming the city for a while, trying to find suitable warriors for our mercenary band, but we haven’t found anyone decent, or who wanted to join us for a reasonable fee, so I thought it would be funny to approach a child, who happened to be homeless. After that bit, I have approached you, a random woman, to repeat the same kind of joke and make Uthgerd laugh.”
Ysolda: “Well, I suppose I’m flattered to be the punchline of your joke, Jon. But let me tell you, I’m not just any random woman. I’ve got spirit and determination, and I’m not afraid to stand up for myself. And who knows, maybe I’d surprise you and prove to be a valuable addition to your little band.”
Uthgerd: “Ha! I doubt it, Ysolda. You’re a trader, not a warrior.”
Jon: “I hadn’t given you a proper look, Ysolda, but now I can tell that you are not an average woman. You are very cute, aren’t you?”
Ysolda: “Oh, Jon, you’re quite the charmer. But I’m not just a pretty face, I assure you. I’ve got brains and wit, and I know how to take care of myself. And besides, being cute doesn’t exactly qualify me for battle, does it?”
Uthgerd: “Spare us the flirting, Jon. We’re trying to put together a fighting team, not a harem.”
Jon: “Actually, I’m going for a fighting team and a harem. Anyway, Ysolda, what kind of fighting skills do you have? Picture this: we’re facing a dragon, and you have no choice but to fight alongside us tempered warriors. Of what use could you be in that battle?”
Ysolda: “Well, I’m not exactly a skilled warrior, Jon. But I’m a quick learner and I’ve got a bit of spirit. And as for fighting skills, I’ve had to defend myself against the occasional drunk or overzealous customer at the market. But facing a dragon? Ha! I think my skills would be more useful in… well, in distracting the dragon while you two tempered warriors take it down.”
Jon: “My goodness, you’re willing to be bait for a dragon! You are one crazy determined woman, Ysolda.”
Ysolda: “Well, when you put it that way, it sounds a bit reckless, doesn’t it? But I like to think of it as… creative problem-solving. And I’m willing to do what it takes to prove myself.”
Uthgerd: “You’re not exactly filling me with confidence, Ysolda. We can’t have you running around getting yourself killed just to prove a point.”
Jon: “Yeah, Ysolda, why are you so willing to join a random adventurer’s band? Are you not happy in Whiterun?”
Ysolda: “Ah, Whiterun’s a great city, don’t get me wrong. But I’ve always felt like there’s something more out there for me. I’ve got ambitions, Jon. I want to own the Bannered Mare one day, and to do that, I need to make a name for myself and earn some real gold. Joining your group could be just the opportunity I need to make that happen.”
Uthgerd: “You’re thinking about business opportunities in the middle of a conversation about fighting dragons?”
Jon: “This one, she’s a tradeswoman through and through. A shopkeeper at heart. And what was that about wanting to take over the Bannered Mare? Are you planning on murdering Hulda, the innkeeper?”
Ysolda: “Oh, no, no, no! Nothing like that, Jon! I want to buy the Bannered Mare from Hulda, not murder her. I’ve always dreamed of running my own inn, and the Bannered Mare is the best in Whiterun. Hulda’s a good friend, and I’m sure she’d be happy to sell to me… for the right price, of course.”
Jon: “Ysolda, do you want to become an innkeeper who once was the bait for a dragon? Is that the sort of backstory you would offer your patrons?”
Ysolda: “Well, when you put it that way, it does sound a bit… unusual. But I think it could be a great story to tell, don’t you? Come stay at the Bannered Mare, where the innkeeper once bravely distracted a dragon for a group of adventurers! It’s got a certain charm to it, don’t you think?”
Uthgerd: “You’re impossible, Ysolda. You’re actually thinking about how to spin this as a marketing opportunity.”
Jon: “Uthgerd, this Ysolda, she’s growing on me. Do you think we could add her to our adventurer’s band, even though she would be completely useless?”
Uthgerd: “Fine, Jon. If you want to bring a liabilities-loving, dragon-baiting, innkeeper-wannabe along on our quest, that’s your decision. But don’t come crying to me when she gets herself killed.”
Ysolda: “Oh, thank you, Jon! I promise I won’t be a burden. And who knows, maybe I’ll surprise you and prove myself to be more useful than you think.”
Uthgerd: “I doubt it.”
Jon: “Ysolda, I’m not convinced about your usefulness for our adventurer’s group. I think you are eager, disturbingly determined to become part of our band. You’re scaring me a bit. So, Ysolda, we’ve heard your piece. We will consider it. As for now, Uthgerd and I have to keep roaming the town and shop around for other possible candidates. But we’ll have you in mind, Ysolda. Keep up the good work and try not to murder anyone.”
Ysolda: “Oh, I completely understand, Jon. I wouldn’t want you to rush into anything. Take your time, consider your options. I’ll just… continue to prepare myself for the possibility of joining your group. I’ll make sure to keep my enthusiasm in check.”
Uthgerd: “Let’s get out of here, Jon. Before she decides to prepare herself by practicing her dragon-baiting skills on the local wildlife.”
We walked away from that lunatic.
Jon: “Uthgerd, that Ysolda woman is a bit of a nutcase, don’t you think?”
Uthgerd: “Ysolda’s got spirit, I’ll give her that. A bit of a wild card, but maybe that’s what we need. Still, I’m not convinced she’d be much use in a real fight. We can’t have dead weight holding us back when the steel starts flying.”
Jon: “Well, I’m convinced that she would be completely useless in a fight.”
Uthgerd: “At least you’re not blind to her limitations. I just hope you’re not thinking of bringing her along out of pity or some foolish notion that she’ll grow into it. We can’t afford to babysit anyone on the battlefield.”
The sun was about to set, but we hadn’t achieved anything other than bothering people.
Jon: “We have a little problem, Uthgerd. The only person of value who’s willing to join us so far is Jenassa, that Dunmer sellsword, who is asking too much money. Today was a complete waste.”
Uthgerd: “She’s a mercenary through and through. We need someone with skills, but not some overpriced sellsword or a green recruit who’s going to get us killed. What’s the plan, then?”
Jon: “We should probably locate that Ria girl you mentioned, so that’s in the works.”
Uthgerd: “She’s usually at the training grounds, not exactly hard to find. But yes, let’s go talk to her soon. She’s eager to prove herself, and we might be able to use that to our advantage. Just don’t expect me to go easy on her, I’ll be testing her mettle as much as you will.”
Jon: “Listen, Uthgerd, I have to be clear with you, and a bit serious, despite my usually joking demeanor. When I was in Morthal, that marshy town to the northwest of here, I ventured into a den of vampires.”
Uthgerd: “I think I know where this is going. You’re saying that you’ve faced some darkness, and you’re looking to build a team that can handle the real threats out there. Am I right?”
Jon: “My goodness, Uthgerd, you can read my mind! You are so amazing, apart from beautiful and sturdy, and… I’m not going to say the other word because you will get mad at me. But yes. The point you made is exactly what I meant.”
Uthgerd: “Spare me the flattery, Jon. I’m not some blushing maiden to be won over with words. We’re having a serious conversation, remember? You’re saying that you need a strong team to take on the real threats in Skyrim, and I’m saying that I’m with you on that.”
Jon: “Well, we are back at the Mare, sole inn in Whiterun, and there are some folks here that we haven’t interviewed yet. Let’s get on with it, right?”
Uthgerd: “Who’s the next person on your list?”
I approached a hunched figure seated at the bar: a disheveled old man who was nursing an ale, clearly drowning his sorrows.
Jon: “Hey, Arghus, you see my sturdy companion here? The both of us have spent the whole day shopping around for candidates to join our band of adventurers, and now that we’re back at the Mare, I thought… how about the old man who’s constantly sitting at the bar, nursing an ale? Would you be willing to contribute to our group?”
Arghus: “Ah, you think I’m some kind of charity case, boy? You think I’m just sitting here waiting for a handout or a chance to join some foolish adventurer’s band? I’ve got news for you, kid. I’ve seen more adventure in one day than you’ve had in your entire life.”
Jon: “Arghus, you told me that you had experienced hunger like the worst, and battle like the best. We want a seasoned warrior by our side. I’m sure you’re still able to wield a greatsword, a crossbow, or a cleaver, and help us in our endeavors.”
Arghus: “Ah, a seasoned warrior, you say? Ha! You have no idea what I’ve been through, boy. I’ve fought battles, yes, but I’ve also lost everything that ever mattered to me. My daughter, my wife, my home… all gone. And now you think I’m just going to pick up a sword and fight for you? You think I’m that desperate?”
Jon: “So, joining our band of adventurers is something only a desperate person would do, huh? Is that what you’re implying?”
Arghus: “Ah, isn’t it, though? Only someone with nothing to lose would throw their lot in with a bunch of reckless adventurers like yourselves. Mark my words, you’re just a bunch of fools waiting to get yourselves killed.”
Uthgerd: “That’s enough, Arghus. We’re not just reckless adventurers. We’re a team, and we’re looking for people who want to be part of something bigger than themselves.”
Hulda: “Now, now, let’s not have any trouble here, folks.”
Jon: “Uthgerd, I approached Arghus here to offer him a position in our adventurer’s band as a joke, but now he’s pissing the hell out of me.”
Uthgerd: “Ah, I thought as much. You were just trying to get a rise out of him, weren’t you? Well, I think you’ve succeeded.”
Arghus: “A joke, was it? You think my life is a joke? You think you can just waltz in here and offer me a position in your little band and then laugh about it? You’re even more arrogant than I thought.”
I leaned closer to the old man and glared at him.
Jon: “Well, yeah, Arghus, that is exactly what I did, and I guess you’re going to take it, because you are an old man who won’t even travel to the Reach to rescue his daughter.”
Arghus: “You… you dare to bring up my daughter?! You know nothing about it! You know nothing about what it’s like to lose someone you love! You’re just a heartless, arrogant little…”
Uthgerd: “Jon, that was uncalled for. You have no right to speak to him like that. Arghus, calm down, don’t let him get to you.”
Jon: “Arghus, I am the voice of your conscience, telling it to your face: stop sitting here and imbibing alcoholic drink after alcoholic drink. Stand up, walk out of Whiterun, and head to the Reach to rescue your daughter.”
Arghus: “Shut up! You don’t know what it’s like to be me! You don’t know what it’s like to have failed as a father, to have lost everything that matters! I’m not just sitting here drinking because I’m lazy, I’m sitting here because I’ve given up. Because I’ve lost all hope.”
Uthgerd: “Arghus, stop. Just stop. You’re going to hurt yourself.”
Jon: “If you say you have given up, Arghus, then I guess I cannot argue with you, but perhaps in that case you should stop pretending that you are strong enough to face anything, because the truth is, you are not even strong enough to go in search of your daughter.”
Arghus: “You want to know the truth?! I’m not strong enough! I’m a broken man! I’m a failure as a father, as a husband, as a man! I’m just a shell of what I used to be!”
Hulda: “Oh, Arghus, stop. Please, just stop. You’re hurting yourself.”
Uthgerd: “Jon, I think you’ve made your point. Leave him be.”
Jon: “Well, sorry to have bothered you, Arghus. Here, have some coin. Buy yourself another ale and drown your sorrows.”
Arghus: “Ah, thank you, boy. Thank you for rubbing it in. Keep your pity. I don’t need it.”
Uthgerd: “Well, that was well handled, Jon. You’ve managed to hurt an old man’s pride and push him further into his darkness.”
Hulda: “I’ll just go check on him, make sure he’s alright.”
Jon: “Pushing people further into darkness is what I was born for.”
Uthgerd: “Well, congratulations, then. You’ve certainly succeeded with Arghus. I’m not sure I want to be traveling with someone who takes pleasure in hurting others, though.”
A pang tore through my chest.
Hulda: “Oh, for goodness’ sake, Jon. Can’t you just show some compassion for once? He’s a broken man, and you’re just making things worse.”
Jon: “It was a joke. Everything was a joke. I didn’t mean it. Do not be angry with me, please. It was a bit, that whole thing. I didn’t mean it.”
Uthgerd: “Save it, Jon. You think you can just say something like that and then claim it was a joke? Arghus didn’t find it funny. And neither did I.”
Hulda: “Oh, Jon, you’re a bit of a handful, aren’t you? I’m not sure what to make of you. One minute you’re charming and the next minute you’re…”
I rubbed my face and started to turn away.
Jon: “I’m sorry. I’m going to have a nap and reset my mental state. Please don’t mind me.”
Uthgerd: “Fine, go take your nap. Maybe when you wake up, you’ll have a bit more sense.”
Hulda: “Yes, go ahead, Jon. I’ll make sure to keep an eye on Arghus and make sure he’s alright. You just… try to be more considerate in the future, okay?”
Arghus: “Considerate… Ha! Don’t hold your breath…”
The Domains of the Emperor Owl 
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