Three stars. The title translates to “You, My Lewd Queen.”

Picture an ordinary male teenager who, as a kid, met an injured girl and tended to her wounds when nobody else would. Such a pure act sparked love in the girl, who proceeded to spend most of her tomboy years with said dude.

Unfortunately, she’s the daughter of some rich man who intended to send her to a private school that our unremarkable protagonist couldn’t afford, unless he excelled at his studies. He did bust his ass, and ended up attending the same school as his love interest, only to find out that the previous tomboy had become a prim, beautiful lady that wouldn’t spare one second of her precious time for our ordinary protagonist.

Cue the concept of this story: some dumb urban legend actually works, and his room ends up connected to hers even though they are in different dorms. The minor god who granted that wish possesses a pillow to inform them of the price to pay: because she was the one who asked first for their rooms to be connected, her self-control will be removed for an hour each day.

The male protagonist comes to learn that he’s in love with a single-minded gal.

Our female protagonist, who is probably not even sixteen yet, masturbates compulsively about ten times a day, about three if she’s sick. She has remained madly in love with the protagonist; although her tsundere ways won’t allow her to admit it freely, once her self-control is removed, she happily proclaims to the world that she can’t wait to end up covered in our boy’s sperm. If he impregnates her, even better. We are treated with many creative scenes of her struggling to contain her compulsive masturbation, or finding artful solutions to satisfy it: for example, while her thumbs are zip-tied behind her back for reasons, she proceeds to rub her soaked parts against a table leg.

This isn’t the most ridiculous story I have ever read, but it does come close. And it just happens that I’m in the market for obscene silliness that doesn’t give a fuck about anybody’s boundaries.